I woke up around eight am in my hotel room. I almost forgot what it was like waking up early. Every day I have been patiently waiting for some news. I figured someone would have been by my house by now or at least found my car. Maybe they really didn’t care? I was going to disappear within that first week. I wanted too, but I felt like I had to stay just to make sure. I have already been missing in action for a little over two weeks now. I had this all set up too. I emptied out my bank account. I surely wasn’t going to use my debit card for anything. I thought this plan out quite well. I figured I had seen enough CSI so why not try and pull it off. I bought an old mustang and put it up in a storage building under a fake name of course. Even the room I am in now is not even under MY name. I feel kind of proud of myself really. The pills that I had left in the car though were actually an accident. I was clumsy and dropped them maybe they will think the worst has happened to me? Maybe that is why I haven’t heard anything on the news? Maybe they are trying to find my body or something? All I wanted to do was escape. I needed to escape from life from everything really. Everyone had their own things going but me. I was just starting to feel like my married life was going good. That even back fired on me. I just want to be able to do something else. I want to be someone else. I am just tired of the same ole stuff. I felt like when our break happened Lauren and I could reconnect and maybe talk of starting a family but she was off doing her own thing. I did however find out that she was running around though. Some guy she met at the gym I always wondered why she would go there at such odd hours during the day. I thought she was different than the rest of the girls. I guess I thought wrong. He was just lucky I was in my hide out mode or else I would have probably beaten the living shit out of him. No true love for me there maybe she is still out there somewhere.

I grabbed my TV remote from the bedside table and turned on the TV. I flipped through some channels and found the local news channel with ‘Good Morning America’ on. It was on commercial so I took out my new phone and started playing around with the settings. I glanced up and I saw the fellas. They were on and they seemed to be streaming live from AJ’s house?

“Maybe they did care?” I thought to myself. I turned up the volume on the TV.

“Good morning guys.”

“Good morning Robin.” Brian said.

“So I hear you guys have some news this morning. I see that you are missing a band mate” I watched as Brian sighed. I watched all of them. They looked so sad. I immediately started to rethink this whole disappearing thing.

“Yes we are.” Kevin replied. I watched as Brian tried to desperately to hold back his tears.

“So what is this news?” Robin asked.

“This is very hard for me to say,” Kevin responded,” We are sad to report that our band mate Nick has been reported dead. He has been missing for almost two weeks now. The LAPD has found his car near Long Beach but with no body. They searched for a couple of weeks but nothing turned up. They didn’t have any choice but to report him deceased until they find a body or he shows up” I watched as the tears rolled down their faces. How could I do this to them? Even Robin was trying to hold back her tears.

“So where are you guys going to go from here?”

“We haven’t figured out all the details just yet,” AJ said,” We are hoping that he turns up somewhere. This is probably hard to say. We just want him home whether he comes home in a bag or shows up. We want to be able to mourn without wondering. “

“Did something happen to trigger this?” they all looked at one another.

“We are assuming he was depressed,” Howie explained,” They found some anti-anxiety pills in his car when they found it. We don’t know what was going on with him. We were all busy with other things when he needed us the most,” Howie said. Howie was right they weren’t there when I needed them they most. I understand family things but just simply ignoring you is another.

“Lauren left him,” Brian interjected,” It was hard on him. He loved her very much. When I went to his house and found it the way I did I couldn’t believe this was the Nick I once shared a bunk with. He was in pain and I didn’t pick up my phone when he called,” Brian sobbed,” I just wished I had gotten to him in time,”

“This is so heartbreaking and sad to hear. Any plans for a memorial in his honor?”

“Not at this time Robin. We will make sure to make an announcement on our website as soon as we figure some things out.” Kevin said.

“Well we thank you for coming to Good Morning American first for this sudden tragic news of Nick. Please keep us updated with any new information that you guys may obtain.”

“We sure will Robin.” That was painful to watch. Brian is blaming himself. I would have never figured him to come to the house first. He has drifted away so much over the years. He didn’t approve of half the stuff I have done in the past. He just distanced himself from me. It only got worse when Lauren came into the picture. Was he having a change of heart? Was he now realizing that I am gone that he still needs me as much as I needed him when he wasn’t around? As much as I wanted to call them up and tell them I am still very much alive. I couldn’t. I had to get away. I need this break. No one may see it now but they will understand someday.