[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Chapter 12
AJ plopped down in the chair of Sterling’s office. The large, dark sunglasses he was wearing blocked his eyes and his body language gave off nothing but negative vibes.

“Well, good morning to you too, Alexander.” Sterling kept his voice gentle as he sat down across from AJ. “Do you mind removing your sunglasses?”

“Yes, I fucking mind.”

“Alexander, it’s natural to go through a period of difficulty during this process. I need you to continue to be open and express your frustrations.”

AJ sat stone still, his arms folded in front of his chest. He refused to answer the doctor. After a beat, Dr. Sterling sighed.

“This wasn’t how I wanted to introduce this, but I guess we’ll both adjust a little today. I’d like you to take a walk with me, Alexander.”

This caused AJ to look toward the doctor, mild curiosity on his face. Dr. Sterling stood, and AJ followed his lead, still not speaking.

The two men exited the main building and crossed the inner courtyard. On the opposite side of the lawn sat a few external buildings - the chapel, meeting hall, and exercise building. As they walked toward the meeting hall, Dr. Sterling began to speak. “I talked to Brian this morning.” He paused, waiting for any response from AJ. When the young man stiffened, Dr. Sterling continued. “He was pretty torn up about your conversation. We talked for quite awhile. He suggested something to help you. Something a little.... unconventional. The more I thought about it, the more I think it’s possibly a good idea. If I am going to expect you to work so hard to change, then maybe I can change a little too in the process.” AJ watched the doctor curiously as he reached forward and pushed open the meeting hall doors. They entered the large room, and AJ noticed a piano, guitar, microphone and basic set of recording equipment on the far wall.

AJ turned to Dr. Sterling, a frown on his face. “Is this some fucking joke?”

“No, Alexander, this isn’t a joke. Brian told me about your bats-” His lips formed a playful smile, “-and I think that it’s fair to acknowledge that music is an outlet for you that shouldn’t be ignored.”

AJ was walking slowly toward the equipment. He turned back toward Dr. Sterling. “I can write?”

Dr. Sterling sighed, slightly reserved. He stepped toward AJ. “Yes. But I will be watching and listening closely. I know the benefits of music therapy. I know how good this could be for you. But I am also very concerned that it could push you back into work-mode before you have really sorted out who you are.” Dr. Sterling met AJ and reached forward to remove his sunglasses. “These right here are the perfect proof of my reservations.” AJ let the doctor remove the glasses and held his eyes. “I want to see everything you write. I want to hear everything you record. No exceptions.”

“That’s fair, Silver.” Dr. Sterling smiled. “Can I start now?”

***
Who are you now?
Are you still the same?
Or did you change somehow?
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you?

And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that?

No matter how I fight it
Can't deny it
Just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done

I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

AJ looked down at the words that he had written out before taking a deep breath. He began singing the simple, painful melody that accompanied the lyrics. After finishing the chorus, he let his voice float through the room before looking up at Dr. Sterling.

“Is that song about Kevin, Alexander?”

“Is it that obvious?” AJ felt raw - he had been writing and playing non-stop since Silver had given him access to the meeting room. He stood up from the stool he had been perched on and turned toward the windows. “I think he was serious. I don’t think I’ll ever see him again. He was the closest thing to a father that I ever had and I hated him for it.”

“Alexander, I must say, I’m proud of you.”

AJ turned toward the doctor with a perplexed look on his face. That was not the sentence he was expecting from Silver.

“I have to admit, I was very concerned about giving you access to music. You already knew that, though. But the fact that the very first thing you wrote was about your relationship with Kevin makes me very proud. You’re making great strides, young man.”

A tear slid down AJ’s face as he gazed back out the window. His voice was hoarse when he replied to the doctor. “Thank you.”