- Text Size +
Dark Times in Still Waters
Chapter 16
By Dottie
Copyright 2013

As they are waiting to board their flights, Brian gets a simple text from Natalie. "Let everyone know Teagan’s ok. Everything is ok.” After a few seconds, he gets another text. “Tell AJ the music notes are from ‘All I Have To Give’. She wants him to know. She wants you all to know she’s not mad.”

He smiles, looking up at his friends. Nick is staring at the floor, chewing on his thumbnail and Kevin with his elbows on his knees and his fists under his chin. He's brooding. Brian clears his throat. "She's ok." When they all look at him, he waves his phone. "Teagan's ok and she’s not mad at anyone." Looking at AJ, he says, “She wanted you to know the music notes were from ‘All I Have To Give’.”

AJ smiles broadly but Brian watches Kevin. He can almost see the weight lift from his cousin's shoulders, but the sadness is still in his eyes. "But she won't see any of us, will she?"

Brian shakes his head. "I don't know. Natalie just wanted you to know she's ok."

Nick bounces his leg almost nervously. "She's ok...but does she hate us?"

AJ slaps Nick on the back of his shoulder. "Nick, you know darn well she doesn't hate anyone. Not even the guy that shot her. It's not an emotion she feels."

Kevin stands. "I'm skipping my flight. I need to go talk to her."

Howie grabs his arm. "No you're not Kevin. Natalie will let you know when she's ready to see you. When she's ready to see any of us. Just go home and be patient."

Kevin sits back down. "I guess you're right."

Brian moves to sit beside him. "Don't worry. I think she'll agree to see you someday. Someday soon. It's just going to take a little patience on everyone's part. And a little time.

Kevin folds his arms and lowers his chin to his chest. "I've got nothing but time."


After Natalie and Teagan's heart to heart, Teagan quietly reflects on the last few months of her life. The summer production she did with the community theater made it one of the best summers of her life. She's always loved to work with the performers of all ages. She had performed with the group before, but her performance in Wicked was the most inspiring...the most invigorating...she had ever done.

Then school started and once again she was doing the most fulfilling work of her life. Working with children and teaching them to love music as much as she does.

Then the shooting. When she thinks about it, she shivers. She remembers when she heard the first shot. It was early in the school day and she was just leaving the music room, heading for Natalie’s classroom on the other side of the courtyard. Children were scurrying about, trying to get to their classrooms on time. She heard a loud bang, followed by screams. Looking to her left, she saw the man. He was a younger man, and except for the two pistols in his hands, he could have been any ordinary person on the street.

His hands were raised and she could see the pistols recoil as he fired. Children were huddled together next to the fountain in the center of the courtyard crying. She ran toward them but didn’t make it. She looked up toward the gunman and his eyes locked with hers. She knew he wasn’t aiming the gun at her, but when it fired, she felt a burning sensation rip through her throat. As the world went dark, she heard the terrified shrieks of the children as the bullets kept coming.

She’s jerked back to the present by Natalie touching her arm. “Teag, where are you ? I asked if you wanted to go downstairs for dinner.”

Teagan shivers. “I was just thinking…umm…dinner? Where?”

Natalie shakes her head. “What were you thinking about? You were a million miles away.”

Teagan shakes her head. “Nothing. It was nothing. What were you saying about dinner?”

Deciding to let it drop, Natalie says, “I wanted to know if you want to run down to the restaurant for a bite to eat.”

Teagan automatically shakes her head no. “I think I’ll just get room service.”

Natalie sighs. “Please, come and eat with me. We head home tomorrow then back to school the next day. Let’s not spend our last night cooped up in this hotel room.”

Teagan feels horrible. “Nat, I’m sorry. I’m not a very good friend to you anymore.”

Natalie shakes her head sternly. “Stop that right now! You’re an amazing friend. Why do you think I want to have dinner with you?”

Teagan laughs. “So I’ll pay.”

Natalie chuckles. “That too. But for the first time in a very long time, you…you’re the Teagan I’ve always known. I don’t want to lose that by leaving you here to bottle things up again. Please, let’s go eat. Please?”

Teagan thinks about what she says and whispers, "Nat, I..." When she hesitates, Natalie's shoulders sink. She instantly feels shame. "I'd love to go have dinner with you."

Natalie's face brightens. "You mean it?"

Teagan nods. "Yeah. Nat...you know...I was thinking about the last few months. About everything that's happened." Natalie takes her friend's hand. Teagan continues softly. "And I've been thinking about what you've all been trying to tell me the last few days. So I have a confession to make."

Natalie is confused and concerned. “What confession?"

Teagan pulls her hand away and walks to the window, crossing her arms over her stomach. “Natalie, before we left, I saw the plastic surgeon about fixing the scars.”

Natalie doesn’t like the tone of Teagan’s voice. “What’s wrong?”

Teagan places her head against the cool glass. “I…he says he can fix the incision scar on my face, but the one on my neck is…” Her voice quivers lightly. “He doesn’t think he can do much for it. He’s afraid that anything he tries to do…because of where it’s at…he might make it worse.”

Natalie covers her mouth with her hand. She knows how devastated Teagan is by this. “Teag, maybe another doctor…”

Teagan shakes her head. “He’s the best in the state, Nat. And he…I trust him. That’s why everything was getting to me on the ship. I knew all along that the scars would never be gone, and every time I thought about it, I just got so…angry. I have to learn to live with…with the…comments.” She closes her eyes. “I don’t think I can Nat. I can’t teach. I can’t sing. I’ll never have my voice back. I have nothing to look forward to except ridicule from the ‘pretty’ people.”

Natalie spins her around and whispers, “Teagan, YOU are the most beautiful person in the world. If the scars never go away, it’s not going to change anything about who you are as a person.”

Teagan shrugs. “Nat, I know you keep saying it. And maybe it’s true. I thought I was stronger and could handle anything. But the things that I heard on that cruise…it just shows me how weak I am. I don’t want to be weak. I don’t want to live my life alone. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to listen to the comments without coming unglued. I’m scared. I want to move past this and I don’t know how.”

Natalie struggles not to cry. “Let me help you! Let someone help you! You have to let us in, Teag!”

Teagan’s eyes snap to Natalie’s. “Us?” When Natalie doesn’t answer, Teagan whispers, “You mean Kevin, don’t you?”

Natalie nods slowly. “And me. And Brian and all the other guys. Teagan, we only want to help you.”

She expects Teagan to explode. She’s surprised when Teagan whispers, “I know.”

Frustrated, Natalie wails, “Then why do you keep pushing him away?”

Teagan takes a shaky breath. “Because of…Nat, he’s the kind of guy I could fall for so easily. I mean, crushing on Nick was one thing, but the things Kevin made me feel…it scares the shit out of me.”

Natalie is stunned by her confession. “Why are you scared?”

Teagan sits on her bed and picks up the goody bag all the fans got from the cruise. “Nat, look at who he is and what he does. And look how the fans treated me. You think I could actually get close to someone who leads that kind of life?”

Natalie’s mouth drops open. “You…you don’t seriously think Kevin would be the kind of man to…Teagan, he CARES for you!”

Teagan nods quickly. “I know he does. But it doesn’t change the fact that I just don’t fit into his world. And I never will.”

Natalie sits beside her. “Don’t you think you should let HIM decide who he wants in his life? And if it IS you…nothing else matters!”

Teagan sighs. “I know what you’re saying is right, Nat. I know what you’re trying to tell me. But…he deserves better than,” she waves her hand around her neck, “this.”

Natalie shakes her head sadly. “Teagan, stop talking like you’re unworthy.”

Teagan sighs. “I’m not saying he would hold this against me. His fans would. And I can’t put him in that position. THAT’S why I push him away.” She mutters under her breath, “God knows I don’t want to.”

Natalie stands. “Fine. You don’t want to push him away and he wants to be with you. When we get home, I’m telling Brian to bring him to see you.”

Teagan jumps to her feet. “Oh no you’re NOT! I mean it Nat. I’ll see any of them after the surgery on my face. But I don’t want to see Kevin! Not until I’m sure I can handle him walking away and leaving me behind. Right now…I just can’t do it.”





Chapter End Notes:
Let me know! ~ D