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Dark Times in Still Waters
Chapter 1
By Dottie
Copyright 2013

“Teagan Mia Michaels, you’re just being silly!”

Natalie Byron is doing everything she can to make Teagan change her mind about the cruise. So far, it’s not working.

“Nat, look at me! I’m a fucking monster! I can’t go like this!” Teagan is neck deep in self pity following the shooting at her school almost two months ago. No one knows why the man came to the school and opened fire. He was shot and killed. There were a lot of minor wounds and one major one. Teagan. And she was lucky. The shot was a ricochet. It was a fluke she was hit.

The way the story goes, a man in his early twenties came to the school, claiming he had a flat tire and a dead cell phone. Asked if he could use a phone to call a friend. He seemed harmless. Once on school grounds, he pulled out a gun and started firing. In the end, sixteen people were hit, but none were fatally wounded.

When Teagan had woken up at the hospital, she was told the bullet had ricocheted off the floor and entered her neck, traveling up to lodge next to her skull. She didn’t have any brain damage, but her vocal chords took a beating. And the scars. Scars on her neck and the side of her face where the bullet was removed. She might can have plastic surgery in a few weeks to minimize the scars, but that doesn’t help her now. The cruise starts in ten days.

Natalie grabs her friend by the shoulders. “You are NOT a monster Teag, so stop it! You’re going on this cruise whether you like it or not. It’s just what you need. Five days of sun, sand and fun with the Backstreet Boys. What could be better?”

Teagan brushes angry tears from her face. “Nat, do you think I want to meet them looking like this? There is no fucking way I’m meeting Nick Carter for the first time looking like an extra for his horror movie. Forget it!”

Natalie screams in frustration. “For the love of…Teagan, would you stop looking at yourself and seeing just those scars? It’s not that bad.”

Teagan turns away. “It’s a million times worse. Listen to me…I can’t even talk normally! Why are you nagging me about this?”

Natalie steps around Teagan to face her. “Several reasons. One, we both need this. Two, we can’t get a refund, and most importantly, IT’S THE BACKSTREET BOYS! Stop being such a ninny.”

Teagan sits down, seemingly defeated. She lets her tears fall. “Nat, I can’t stand people staring…and it’s going to be so crowded…and Nick…I can’t meet him like this.”

Natalie sits down and puts her arm around Teagan’s shoulder. “Listen, we both know that looks don’t mean shit to BSB. They love all their fans. Even if you have a couple of scars, Teagan you’re still beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful, inside and out. You can’t let what happened rob you of your life.”

Teagan sighs, sensing defeat. “But Nat, the other fans…I don’t want to be the center of a pity party or a laughing fest.”

Natalie groans. “You don’t have to be. Teag, listen. We’ve been friends a long time. I feel like I can give it to you straight. Yes, I feel sorry for you, and others will, but only because it happened to you. NOT because of how you look. You’re a victim. And trust me, if anyone laughs at you, I’ll stomp a mud hole in their ass. So what do you say? Come get crazy with me aboard the Imagination? Please don’t make me go alone.”

Teagan feels guilty. So guilty. Natalie has stood by her through it all. She can’t ruin this trip for her friend. She nods slowly. “OK. I’ll go. But only because I owe it to you.”

Natalie hugs her. “I don’t want you to do it for me Teag. I want you to do it for yourself. This trip is just what you need to get back into life. I promise…it will be the trip of a lifetime!”


True to her word, ten days later Teagan is staring out her hotel window. From here, she can see the marina, and more importantly, the ship. The cruise is going to be a short, whirlwind of activity. The itinerary leaves no room for leisure time. Teagan feels a little excited now that it’s getting close to boarding time. Excited and scared stiff.

Once she had made the decision to go, she couldn’t stop feeling anxious. She knows she’s doing the right thing, simply because she does owe Natalie so much. And Natalie is right; the Backstreet Boys have a rep for loving all their fans, regardless of size, skin color or physical deformity.

Teagan’s excitement wanes a little. How will she ever be able to stand face to face with Nick Carter without feeling like a monster? She shakes her head quickly to push out that thought.

The bathroom door opens and Natalie comes out wrapped in a towel. “Teag, you’re supposed to be getting dressed, not daydreaming about Mr. Hot ‘n Sexy.”

A rare and unexpected giggle erupts from Teagan at the sound of their pet name for Nick. “Yes, yes, I’m getting ready.” Teagan chose a tropical flower print dress for boarding. One of the main reasons she likes it is that the matching scarf can be used to hide the scars on her neck. She grimaces. She can’t do anything about the scar on her face. The best she can hope is leaving her long, wavy hair down and styling it to fall across her face.

Once she’s dressed, she eyes herself critically. Maybe it won’t be so bad. She puts on the briefest hint of eye shadow and is putting on a light coat of lipstick when Natalie comes back out of the bathroom wearing a one piece, white romper.

Natalie takes one look at her friend and exclaims, “Teag! You look absolutely adorable!”

Teagan blushes. “That romper looks good on you, Nat. You can wear anything, can’t you?”

Natalie shrugs. “I don’t know about that, but this is just what I want to get angelic Brian to notice my ample assets.”

Teagan can’t stop the giggles that spring forth. Natalie has loved Brian forever and now that he’s single, she’s determined to see if he really is a ‘boob-man’. Her giggles fade and Teagan whispers softly, "Nat, I'm so scared. What if this is a mistake?"

Natalie takes her hand and pulls her down on the bed. "Teagan, I understand why you're scared. I do. But I don't want you to hide away from the world because of this. I know it's hard and there probably will be those who make snide comments, but you can't let them get to you. Only small, petty people use other's misfortunes to build themselves up. They do it because they have no self-worth. You do. You just have to keep reminding yourself that you're unique. You're beautiful. And no matter what happened to cause the scars, you are still Teagan."

Teagan sniffles, hugging Natalie's neck tightly. "I couldn't do this without you. I'm just not strong enough."

Natalie has tears of her own falling. "Teag, you're strong enough to teach...you can do this without me. But you don't have to. I'll be right by your side."

Teagan leans back. When her eyes meet Natalie's she whispers, "Thanks Friend."


An hour later, the bellboy has taken their bags down to the lobby and they are heading out. Teagan is anxious and Natalie knows it. She links her arm with her friend. "Come on Teag. Let's go have some fun."

Teagan feels eyes on her as they walk through the lobby. She starts to lower her head. Natalie squeezes her arm. "Keep that head up Teag. Don't let them beat you. Show 'em what you're made of."

Teagan feels her heart swell with love for her friend. Every time she would start feeling low, Natalie would play the song trying to cheer her up. Teagan let her think it worked, but it really only sent her deeper into despair. She knew Natalie meant well but sometimes, deep down, she wishes that bullet had taken a different track. She'd rather be dead than be looked at as a monster.

On the shuttle to the ship, excitement runs rampant. Teagan stays quiet, hoping she's overlooked, but as they get off the shuttle at the dock, one girl steps up. "What in the world happened to you?"

Teagan keeps her eyes down. "An accident."

The girl whistles, turning away. "You're braver than me. I wouldn't leave the house like that."

As she walks away, another girl steps up. "What a bitch! Don't listen to her, there's absolutely nothing for you to worry about."

Natalie is standing close by. "She's right you know. That bitch is the small person. There's absolutely nothing for you to worry about."

Teagan forces a smile. "I'm ok. Let's go."

As they board the ship, Teagan can feel eyes on her. She hears the remarks. Among the more descriptive words she hears, hideous comes up more than most. Every step she takes she sinks deeper and deeper into shame.

When they reach the corridor where they cabin is, Teagan is shaking. Natalie heard it too and she's under a full head of steam when they reach their cabin. As the door shuts, she hisses, "Those stupid bitches!"

Teagan bites off a sob. "I shouldn't be here. I knew it would be like this. Why couldn't I have just DIED?"

She runs into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it. Natalie beats on the door. "Teagan! Teagan, open this door! NOW!"

Teagan sits in the floor by the bathtub sobbing hysterically. She screams, "GO AWAY! JUST GO AWAY!"

Natalie bangs her fist on the door one more time, sobbing. "I'm sorry Teagan. I'm so sorry."