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Dark Times in Still Waters
Chapter 2
By Dottie
Copyright 2013

Natalie tries for hours to get Teagan to come out, but she won’t. She finally gives up when the mandatory boat drill compels her from the room up to the deck. When she gets back, she finds Teagan sitting on the bed staring at the port hole. She sits beside her and whispers, “Teag, I’m so sorry.”

Teagan pulls her tear stained gaze from the departing dock and stares at her friend. “I shouldn’t have come. It’s not fair to ruin this for you.”

Natalie hugs her friend, crying. “This wouldn’t be fun for me without you, Teag. I just can’t believe how petty these people really are. I never…I thought…”

Teagan shakes her head. “Don’t.”

Natalie sits back, holding Teagan’s hands in her own. “Please tell me you didn’t mean what you said. Please, don’t ever wish you were dead.”

Teagan shivers. “Nat, I just can’t deal with it. I can’t even teach anymore.”

Natalie’s face pales. “What do you mean?”

Teagan stands, pacing the small, enclosed space. “I’m a music teacher Nat. How can I teach pitch when my voice is shot.” Her choice of words causes her to stop and lower her head, sobbing. “Shot. Why did it have to be me? Why did he have to come to OUR school and do this? What did I do to him?”

Natalie wants to comfort her friend, but she doesn’t know how. “You didn’t do anything Sweetie. He was unstable. His family knew it. They tried to get help for him. He was just sick.”

Teagan brushes her hair back off her face. “I just can’t deal with it Nat. I wasn’t the only one hurt I know, but…I’m the only one…”

Natalie stands and confronts Teagan, grabbing her shoulders. “It wasn’t about you, Teag. It wasn’t! I don’t know why it happened…I can’t even begin to guess. No one can. You’re alive for a reason, Teagan. God kept you here…”

Teagan snorts, shoving her friend away. “God? Why would God do this to me? What does it prove? I can walk through life as a monster to scare little kids? My students are AFRAID of me Nat. They won’t even look at me! God… where was God when I begged him to let me die?”

Natalie gasps praying her friend doesn’t mean it. “Don’t say that, Teagan. Don’t you fucking DARE say you want to die again! I mean it!”

Teagan whirls on her friend. “But I do, Natalie. I do want to die. I want this to end!”

She storms into the bathroom, slamming the door. Teagan slides down the door to the floor sobbing. From the overhead P.A. system she hears the announcement that the Sail Away party is starting. She bows her head to her knees and screams, “WHY ME?”


Anger and fear catapult Natalie into action. She’s so mad about how Teagan has been treated. After years of being a Backstreet Boys fan, she thought the fans were like a family, even to strangers. Some family.

She stalks to the mirror and fixes her face. Time to let the Backstreet Boys know just how ‘wonderful’ their fans are. She goes back to the bathroom door. “Teagan? Teagan, I’ll be back soon. I’m going to fix this. I swear I will. I love you. I’ll be back soon.”

Teagan hears her words but doesn’t care. She curls up against the door and closes her eyes. She’s so tired. She just wants to go to sleep and never wake up.


When Natalie makes it to the Lido deck, the party is in full swing. She skirts the crowd, trying to find a way to get close to the Backstreet Boys, but apparently these people don’t believe in giving everyone a chance to get close.

She pulls out her itinerary and checks it. The games start at 6:30 and she’s in the first group. She decides to bide her time until then. If she has to, she’ll make a scene to end all scenes to get noticed, but she’s determined she WILL be noticed. And she will speak her peace. She owes it to Teagan.

By the time the game show is underway, she’s managed to garner a position close to the stage. Jenn is once again acting as emcee and Natalie manages to get her attention while the boys are bickering amongst themselves about a question. When Jenn stoops down to talk to Natalie, she can tell the woman is clearly distraught. “What’s the matter Hon? Is someone sick?”

Natalie shakes her head. “No, she’s suicidal and I don’t think I can keep her from trying something. I need your help.” She points to the Backstreet Boys. “I need their help.”

Jenn can see she’s serious. “OK, after the show, we’ll talk…”

Natalie shakes her head. “No. I want everyone here to hear what I have to say. Most of them are to blame anyway.”

Jenn is so confused. “OK, so explain it to me first.”

In a few short sentences, Natalie explains what happened when they got to the ship. By the time she’s finished, tears are falling down her face and Jenn is pale as a ghost. “What caused your friend’s scars?”

Natalie shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. I convinced her to come on this cruise because she’s shutting herself off from the world. I always thought the BSB fans were like a family. Some family, they call her hideous and make her feel like she never should show her face in public. It’s sad and it’s wrong.”

Jenn nods. “I’m going to give you a chance to speak your peace. I know the guys would want me too, but I think I should tell them what’s going on first.”

Natalie shakes her head. “No. No, they hear what I have to say when everyone else here hears it.”

Jenn nods slowly. Howie walks over to them. “Jenn, what’s the hold up?” He sees Natalie’s been crying and he steps closer. “What’s wrong?”

Jenn turns to Howie. “She has something to say to everyone here. And I think it’s really important to let her. Tell the guys to quiet the crowd down.”

Howie nods, spurred into action by the fear on both women’s faces. “You got it.”

He walks away. Jenn leads Natalie to the middle of the stage to wait. Kevin steps forward holding up his hand. The fans cheer louder. He grabs the microphone from Jenn. “Hold on everyone, quiet down. This is important.”

As the room silences, he hands the microphone back to Jenn. She faces the crowd. “I know this is unexpected, but there’s someone here who needs to say something to all of you and to the boys. Please, be quiet and listen. It’s very important.”

The room falls into complete silence as Natalie takes the microphone. “I don’t know how many of you saw me come on the ship with my friend. I honestly don’t think any of you saw ME, but I’m sure most of you saw her. You sure commented enough about how hideous she is and how she should be ashamed coming out into public as scarred as she is. NONE of you know what happened…very few bothered to ask.” She turns to the Backstreet Boys. “Until today, I thought we, as fans, were part of a family that was loving and understanding and accepting. Because all of you are.” Turning back to the crowd. “But all of you…you’re petty and small and you’ve managed to break an already fragile spirit. My friend is in our cabin wanting to die because of all of you.” Turning back to the guys, tears flowing freely, she says, “I’ll always be a fan…but I’m ashamed to be part of THIS!” She hands the microphone back to Jenn and begins to walk away.

Nick steps forward, grabbing her arm. “Wait a minute, hold on. Are you for real? She really said…”

Natalie nods furiously. “Yes, she said she wants to die.”

Brian comes closer. “What the hell is going on?”

Natalie sighs. “I have to get back to her.”

AJ takes Natalie’s arm. “Not without me you’re not.”

Kevin nods. “We’ll all go.”

Nick gets the microphone and faces the crowd. “We don’t know everything that’s going on, but if what she says is true…” He shakes his head.

The crowd is deathly quiet. One girl pushes to the front. “What about the game?”

Howie seems disgusted. “We’re talking about a woman’s life. If this…game…is all you’re worried about, maybe she’s right. Maybe this isn’t our family after all.”

Natalie is led off the stage by AJ with the other guys following close behind. “Where’s your cabin?”

Natalie stops to think. “Deck 5. M209.”

The security guards make a wall and lead the way, Natalie following with the Backstreet Boys. When they reach the cabin, they go inside. Natalie goes to the bathroom door, praying Teagan hasn’t already done something stupid. “Teag, it’s me. Open the door.”

From the other side, Teagan calls out softly. “Go away Nat. I’m not going to do anything stupid. Just leave me alone.”

Natalie puts her head against the door. “Teagan, please, just let me in.”

Kevin steps up behind Natalie and puts his hand on her shoulder. Natalie steps back and Brian slides his arm around her shoulder, hugging her. Kevin stands next to the door and calls out softly, “Teagan, this is Kevin Richardson. Please open the door. Your friend is terrified and frankly so are we.”

Teagan lifts her head, shocked. “Why are you here?”

Kevin keeps his voice soft and soothing. “Natalie came to us. Please, just come out.”

Teagan starts to tremble. “Please go away.”

Nick starts to step forward. Natalie grabs his arm and whispers, “No…if she knows you’re here she won’t come out at all.”

He seems confused. Brian nudges him. “You’re her favorite.”

Nick blushes as Natalie nods. Kevin tries again. “Teagan, if you won’t come out, can I at least come in and talk to you? Please?”

Teagan knows he won’t go away. She can tell from his tone of voice and he has a reputation for being stubborn. She stands stiffly and flips the lock on the door. Keeping her back to the door she calls out softly, “It’s open.”


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