Dark Times In Still Waters
Chapter 40
By Dottie
Copyright 2014
Tuesday morning, Teagan wakes up beside Kevin. She’s very nervous about today…about taking him to her therapy session. She knows it’s the right decision, but she’s afraid of what Kevin will think of her when Penny starts asking her questions about her darker thoughts.
After showering and dressing in a red turtle neck sweater with a black jumper and tights, she tugs on her knee high boots, grabs her coat and slips out of the apartment. She walks around the block, letting her mind clear and thinking about something Kevin mentioned last night. They’ll be touring soon. He didn’t ask her to go, but the thought of him being gone for months makes her feel…sad. She can’t help but wonder what would happen if he meets someone new. Someone that’s not so fucked up they forgot how to be happy.
The cold air chills her to the bone and she heads back at a brisk pace. Just as she reaches the parking lot, a gentle snowfall starts to fall. She looks up at the gray skies that match her mood completely.
From across the parking lot, she hears her favorite Southern drawl. “Teagan, are you ok?”
When her eyes meet his, she realizes that she is ok. Maybe she’s still self conscious about her scars and her voice, but she no longer wants to die. She wants to live. She wants to live her life with Kevin. On the road if she has to. She just knows she can’t wait around for months for him to come back. Being alone only sent her deeper into her depression. Being alone almost pushed her over the edge and into the abyss.
Running up to him, she throws her arms around his neck. “I’m ok. I…I really think I’m ok.”
He hugs her tightly, inhaling the fragrance of her hair. “Sweetheart, what happened?”
She shakes her head against his neck. “I don’t know. I just…” She pulls back to look at him. “Kevin, I’m happy. I feel…I feel like me again. I don’t know how else to explain it.”
He smiles. “You don’t have to Baby. All I need to know is you’re happy.”
She smiles. “Kevin…after my session today I want to ask you something.”
He looks at her curiously. “Ask me now.”
She shakes her head. “Not now. I want to wait.”
He smiles seductively. “OK Beautiful, whatever you want.” He checks his watch. “You ready to go?”
She nods. “Yeah. I just need to get my purse.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t need it. I have everything you need in my coat pocket.”
She eyes him skeptically. “Everything? What do you mean you have everything?”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out her house keys, her cell phone and her favorite lipstick. She chuckles. “You forgot the Altoids.”
He reaches into his other pocket, pulling out her favorite cinnamon mints. “I did not.”
She laughs, sliding her arms around his waist. “I love you Kevin.”
He shoves her stuff back into his pockets and crushes her in his arms. “I love you too Teagan.”
Teagan is playing with her phone as Kevin drives to the appointment. He’s grateful for her distraction because once she realizes their true destination is the school, she might just fall apart. Or get very, very angry.
When he turns onto the street the school is on she glances up. He hears her gasp and shoots a worried glance her way but she isn't even looking at him. Every tree along the street has a long purple ribbon wrapped around it tied into big bows. On the ends of the ribbons there's musical notes and beneath the bows hang signs made on brightly colored poster board.
Each one is designed differently but the messages all read the same. 'We miss you Miss Michaels'. Her hand creeps out and finds Kevin's leg. He covers her hand with his and squeezes. She whispers, "Why?"
In a soft voice, he says, "Just...go with it. Please."
When the turn off for the school comes up he feels her start to shake, even though the only part of her touching him is her hand on her thigh. When he stops at the gate, the security guard leans down to look in the window. When the elderly man sees Teagan in the passenger seat, a genuine smile lights his eyes. "Glory be, Miss Michaels it is you! Welcome back!"
Kevin hears the happiness and longing in her quiet voice when she says, "Hello Mr. Carlton. How are you?"
The old man's eyes are filled with kindness and happy tears when he says, "Doing well, Miss. Doing well. I have a new grand baby you need to meet. A tiny little thing. They named her Rosie."
Teagan smiles. "I'd love to see some pictures of her Mr. Carlton." She glances at Kevin. "But we..."
He steps back and waves them through. "You go on Miss. You know I'll be here when you come out." His smile fades a little as he whispers, "It's good to have you back again Missy."
As Kevin pulls closer to the building to park, she whispers, "Why are we here?" When he doesn't answer, she turns to look at him. "Kevin?"
He sighs. "Penny asked me to bring you and that's all I can tell you.”
Teagan doesn’t move as Kevin gets out and slowly walks around the car. She looks at the door, seeing Penny standing there with the principal, Mr. Stansel. Gritting her teeth, she allows Kevin to help her out of the car. When they walk up to the door, Mr. Stansel clears his throat. “Welcome back, Teagan. We’ve missed you here.”
She nods slowly. “I…miss it too.” She turns to Penny. “Why are we here?”
Penny hears the anger in her voice and she’s pleased. “We’re here to face the past. And to show you that you have made a difference.” She turns to Mr. Stansel. “Thank you for letting us do this.”
He nods. “I’m glad we can help. Come to the office when you’re ready.”
As he walks away, Penny turns to Teagan. “I know you’re feeling a lot of anger right now…but this is important.”
Teagan nods stiffly. “Can we get this over with? I don’t want to be here.”
Kevin sighs, putting his hand on her back. “Sweetheart if you want to leave…”
Penny shakes her head. “No. If you leave you’ll never get over it. Come on.” They follow Penny as she leads them to the courtyard where Teagan was shot. Teagan reaches for Kevin's hand. Kevin stays close to her, watching her closely. He can tell she's struggling to keep it together.
Kevin watches Teagan start to shake as Penny opens the door. He starts to pull her away when she whispers, "No, I have to." She lets go of his hand and steps through the doorway and into her past.
The sun was shining. She was walking with her youngest group...the kindergarten class. They were all giggling and laughing, excited about learning the song for the school's Grandparent's Day breakfast. A few of them ran ahead to splash their hands in the water at the fountain. She was leading them back to their classroom on the way to see Natalie when little Jasmine Lee had grabbed her hand and screamed.
Teagan turns toward the door where John Tate had been standing. In her mind’s eye she sees him looking around wildly. He's shooting like he's being attacked by some unknown assailant. His eyes meet hers as she runs for the kids by the fountain.
She stops at the spot where she fell. Kevin starts to move closer to her when Penny stops him. Penny moves to stand by the fountain. "Teagan...what do you remember?"
Teagan sighs, lifting her hand slowly. "He was over there. He looked...scared. He was jumpy and screaming. I don't...I couldn't understand what he was saying. He was incoherent." She looks at the fountain. "Jason and Liam were splashing in the fountain. Sabrina was trying to get them to stop. They were splashing her."
Penny sits on the edge of the fountain, running her hand through the water. "Teagan?"
Sighing Teagan whispers, "Jasmine grabbed my hand and screamed. I pushed her to the ground and told the other children to get down. Jason and Liam started crying. Sabrina ran toward me. I pushed her behind a pillar then went for the boys."
Her brow furrows. Kevin ignores Penny and steps closer. "Sweetheart?"
Teagan shakes her head, stepping away from him. "It's...he started stomping his feet, like he was stepping on a spider or something. Then he started shooting at the ground and...and..."
Kevin watches sadly as Teagan kneels down and puts her hand on the ground. The door in front of Teagan opens and Caroline Tate-Smith walks through it, followed closely by an older couple.
Teagan looks up and sees them. Caroline comes closer and kneels by Teagan. "My parents...John and Amanda. They...we all...Teagan, we're so sorry!"
Teagan grabs her hand and whispers, "It's not your fault." She stands and faces John Tate's parents. "It's no one's fault."
The older lady steps forward, tears streaking her face. "Miss Michaels, I wish I could change things. If only we could go back...you wouldn't be hurt. It's all our fault. We couldn't keep John in the hospital. He'd get better and stop taking his medication...we tried so hard to make him understand he had to keep taking it..."
Teagan reaches for the older woman's shaking hands. "Mrs. Tate...please stop blaming yourself. None of this...it's not your fault."
As the woman begins to sob, her husband steps up. "John wasn't a bad man, Miss Michaels. He...his friends got him started on illegal drugs. Most of the time he didn't even know who we were." He puts his arm around his wife. "Amanda and I were going to have him committed. Caroline had convinced us we couldn't help him any longer."
Amanda sniffles loudly. "John found out. He said he'd never live in a hospital. He'd rather be dead. I thought...I really thought he was going to kill himself. I called Caroline that day. She was going to help me look for him."
Caroline steps forward. "After you were injured, the police shot John. When I was cleaning out his car...I found a suicide note. He was going to get high one more time...I guess whatever he took really messed him up. I don't even know if he knew where he was in the end."
Teagan wipes her cheeks. "When I saw him...he acted like he was seeing things." She wraps her arms around her stomach. "Please...I don't want any of you to blame yourselves. It...it was just an accident."
Penny walks over and says, "You really believe it now, don't you Teagan?"
Teagan nods. "I do." She turns and looks at Kevin. He smiles encouragingly. She smiles back before turning to Penny. "When you brought me here, I remembered it...I remembered everything. You were right; I don't even think he actually saw me or the children. Whatever he was seeing...it was scaring him."
Penny feels relieved that Teagan is finally accepting that she wasn't a target. She realizes it was just a freak accident. There was no malice intended. No plot to ruin her life. It’s time for the final hurdle; convincing her that her life as a teacher doesn't have to be over because of this. If she wants to stop teaching, it should be because she’s moving on with Kevin. Not because of what happened to her.
Penny's brow furrows. This is the one part of the plan she was unsure of. It might set Teagan back in her recovery...or it could set her free. Taking a deep breath, she nods to Kevin. It's time.
Chapter End Notes:
What do you think?? ~ D
