Dark Times in Still Waters
Chapter 4
By Dottie
Copyright 2013
Natalie turns the corner to find Kevin knocking on the cabin door. "Kevin, is she here?"
He turns, shaking his head. "I've been knocking for five minutes. What's wrong?"
Natalie cries. "She totally flipped out. I never should have talked her into this cruise. She's so upset."
Kevin reaches out and takes her hand. "Where is she now?"
Natalie shakes her head. "I don't know. She collapsed and a steward helped me take her to the infirmary. We turned our backs for thirty seconds and she disappeared. Oh what am I going to do? I'll never forgive myself if anything happens to her!"
Kevin puts his arm around her. "Don't worry, we'll find her. Nothing's going to happen to her. Why don't you wait here in case she comes back? I'll go get some help to look for her."
Natalie opens the door and then turns to Kevin. "Maybe you shouldn't Kevin."
He looks confused. "Why?"
Tears slide down her face. "If we keep pushing and pushing we might drive her over the edge. Just...let me look for her. Maybe when she calms down..."
He nods slowly. "Maybe I shouldn't have pushed her into going to dinner."
Natalie leans on the door jam. "Kevin, I just don't understand how they could be so cruel. Teag and I have been fans forever and it's always seemed like the fans are as accepting as you guys. How could they be so...mean?"
He shakes his head slowly. "I don't know. I was stunned when you made your speech at the game show. I couldn't believe what you were saying until I started looking at the crowd. Their faces were filled with shame."
Natalie feels angered. "You know, being teachers, we see a lot of bullying. But it's kids. This is adults that are supposed to know better."
Kevin folds his arms and leans against the wall. "Natalie, what happened to her? I mean, she told me about the shooting but..."
Natalie sighs. "No one knows why the guy came into the school shooting. It happened the first week. He wasn't aiming, just firing. Most of the injuries were minor, but Teagan..." Her voice cuts off with a sob. He puts his hand out and takes hers. She takes a deep breath. "A bullet ricocheted and went up through her neck and lodged near her skull. If it hadn't been a ricochet, she probably would have died."
Sadness washes over him. "I...I don't know what to say."
Natalie leans her head over and rests it on the wall. "Kevin, I don't know what to do. She can't teach now like she used to..."
He cuts her off. "Why not?"
Natalie seems surprised by his question. "Her vocal chords are too severely damaged." His confused look prompts her to continue. "She's a music teacher."
His mouth drops open in shock. "Oh dear God no!"
Natalie nods sadly. "Her voice...her face...the younger kids were upset. She thinks it's because she's scarred. She thinks they are afraid when all it really is...they are so sad. She's such a special teacher. The kids love her and now that she thinks she can't...it makes them sad. She sees it as them being afraid of her."
Kevin closes his eyes. "She's suffered so much and then comes here..."
Natalie sighs. "She came because I cajoled her into it. She thought she owed it to me to come on the cruise. I shouldn't have made her come..."
He steps closer to her and pulls her into his arms, hugging her gently. "Natalie I'm so sorry about what she's been through. I really am. It breaks my heart. But I'll never be sorry you're here. I’ll help you take care of Teagan. I promise."
Teagan spends a good hour sitting on an overturned bucket in the closet trying to figure out a way off the ship. Or at least a way to hide until they get back to Miami. Suddenly she realizes how quiet the corridor is. She slips out, heading for her cabin. She rounds the corner and comes face to face with two girls heading for dinner.
Dropping her head, she scoots by them, barely murmuring, “Excuse me.”
One of the girls stops her. “Hey wait.” Teagan stops but she doesn’t look up. The girl steps closer. “I didn’t see you earlier but…I’m sorry about how you were treated. That’s just wrong.”
Teagan sighs. “Don’t worry about it.”
The other girl steps closer and timidly says, “I’m sorry too.”
The tone of her voice tells Teagan she’s one of the ones that DID say something. With tears in her eyes, she looks up. “Why did you find it so easy to call me names? You don’t even know what happened to me!”
The girl has tears in her eyes. “I don’t know. I just…I’m stupid. I was listening to everyone else and was trying to fit in.”
Teagan sighs. “It doesn’t matter.”
The girl grabs Teagan’s hand. “But it does! I never thought you could hear us, and even if you couldn’t…we were wrong. I mean it, I’m really sorry.”
Teagan can tell she means it. Pulling away her hand she whispers, “Thanks.”
She slips into her room, closing the door with a soft click. From the bathroom, Natalie calls out, “Teag, is that you?”
Teagan sits on her bed. “Yeah.”
Natalie comes out, dropping down beside her and enveloping her in a giant bear hug. “I’m so sorry! Please forgive me for making you come.”
Teagan sighs, pushing her away. Taking Natalie’s hand, she whispers, “You didn’t make me. I really did want to come. I just didn’t expect them to be so…”
Natalie nods. “Mean. I swear Teagan I thought this would be the one place where you would be able to loosen up. I never dreamed…”
Teagan manages to smile. “Nat, I’m not mad at you. But I don’t want…I just want to stay in the cabin until we get back to Miami. Please tell me you understand.”
Natalie nods slowly. “I do. But Teag…the Backstreet Boys…they want to meet you. All of them. And Kevin…he’s a basket case with worry. Will you talk to him? To them?”
Teagan shakes with fear. “I don’t know Nat. I just don’t know if I can handle it.”
Natalie smiles, brushing back her friend’s hair. “No one’s going to push you. Just think about it, ok?”
Teagan nods. “I’m so tired. I just want to sleep.”
Natalie hugs her friend. “Then sleep. I’m going to find Kevin and tell him you’re ok.”
A blushing Teagan nods. “Tell him I’m sorry.”
Natalie nods, standing up. “You sure you’re ok?”
Teagan nods tiredly. “I’m just tired. Go have a good time, ok?”
Natalie nods. “I won’t be gone long. Just going to tell Kevin you’re ok.”
Teagan stands. “Nat, don’t take this the wrong way, but I really just want to be alone for a while. Enjoy yourself. Have a drink on me. I’ll be ok. I promise.”
Natalie hugs her tightly. “I do love you Teag. And everything’s going to be ok.”
Teagan nods, letting the tears pool in her eyes but not letting them fall. “I know Nat. I love you too. Now go have fun.”
After Natalie leaves, Teagan changes into her pajamas. She sits cross-legged on the bed and takes out her journal. She hasn’t written since the day of the shooting. Maybe it’s time to get these things off her chest.
Six pages later, Teagan is startled by a knock at the door. Figuring it’s just fan craziness because of the noise in the hallway, she ignores it. Until it happens again. Standing up, she moves to the door and opens it slowly, just a little, peeking out to see Kevin.
His smile is infectious. “Can we talk?”
She sighs, stepping back so he can come in. Once the door is closed, she moves back to the bed to resume her position, unaware she’s giving him quite a show up the leg of her pajama shorts. “Didn’t Natalie tell you I’m ok?”
He nods, moving to sit at the foot of the bed. “She did. But I had to see for myself.”
She nods, keeping her gaze down. “Well, now you see.”
He scoots closer. “No I don’t. You won’t look at me.”
She sighs shakily. “Kevin just stop…”
He reaches out and slides his hand through the hair hanging over her face. Pushing it back, he pulls her gaze up to his. “If you truly want me to go, I will, but Teagan, it’s not good for you to be alone.”
His eyes are full of worry. She pats her journal. “I’m not alone. I have my trusted friend here listening to all my problems. I’ll be ok.”
He scoots even closer, lifting the journal and laying it aside. “That’s not the same thing and you know it. Please, come to the party for a little while? Or let me stay with you? I just don’t want you to be alone.”
She shivers at the longing in his voice. “You don’t understand…I just don’t think I’m ready to face so many people...”
He moves until his body is parallel to hers. Putting his arms around her in a loose hug, he whispers, “Then let me stay. I promise, I won’t push.”
She sighs. “But you are pushing.” Leaning her head over, she rests it on his arm. “Kevin, I’m not going to kill myself. I’m really not that brave. And I promise I won’t wallow in self pity.” When he snorts, she continues softly. “Not too much. I just need…”
He sighs. “You need space. I really do get it; I just don’t want to go. So can we compromise?”
She lifts her head to look at him. “How?”
He smiles. “The fellas want to meet you and talk to you. I’ll go if you let us take turns coming to sit with you. Just for a little while. Just until we all know you’re going to be ok.”
She thinks long and hard about it. “I’ll agree but I have my own condition.”
He’s shocked and it shows. “What’s your condition?”
Her lower lip trembles a little. “Make sure Natalie isn’t worrying about me and she’s enjoying herself. It’s not fair for me to fuck up this cruise for her. She deserves to have fun.”
He leans closer and kisses her forehead. “You do too. I’ll agree to your terms if you’ll consider being my lunch date for Half Moon Cay.”
She sighs deeply. “I’ll consider it. But I’m not promising anything.”
His smile almost makes her regret agreeing. “Fine. One of us will be back in a few.” She nods, saying nothing. He brushes her hair back, uncovering her scar. She winces as he traces it, but she doesn’t pull away. “You’re sure you’re ok?”
She nods slowly. “I’m ok.”
He leans forward again, kissing her forehead. “Don’t run away again. If it gets to be too much, come to me. I’ll find you a quiet place to hide where I know you’re safe.”
She smiles softly. “Thanks.”
He stands up slowly. “One of us will be back in a while. And I’ll make sure we take care of Natalie for you.”
She feels her heart lighten at his words. “Thank you Kevin.”
He turns back as he reaches the door. “It’s my pleasure, Sweetheart.”
Chapter End Notes:
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