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Why Are We Still Friends

By: Rachel

Copyright 2014


Chapter 46


“Thanks for bringing me home, Bella.” I flopped down on the couch, making myself comfortable.

“To be honest, I was surprised you called. You haven’t spoken to me in two weeks.” She replied brashly.

I stared at her for a moment, before I began to speak. “I get it. I’ve been a bitch. Look I didn’t have anyone else to call. Sorry I bothered you.” My feelings were hurt. I was tired of everyone being mad at me. I couldn’t deal with it anymore.

“Why didn’t Nick pick you up? He’s your best friend. Or wait, what about your boyfriend? You know, Brian.”  She said smugly. I had never seen Bella like this. She usually was a good listener and never judged.

“Brian is spending the day at Disney with his daughter. As for Nick, I don’t know.”  I looked out the window.

“From what I heard, he’s spent the evening with you at the hospital. What gives Lexi? Sometimes I think you care more about Nick than you do Brian.” Bella sat down beside me. Her face showed concern instead of anger.

“I’m confused. Ever since Brian lied to me things are different. I love him, but deep down, I don’t think I trust him.”  For the first time I was being honest. It scared me, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Brian loves you. He’s loved you for a long time. You’re having a baby together.”

There it was; the same comment I got from everyone. It made my blood boil. So, what we were having a baby together. That didn’t change what I was feeling for Brian. Most of the time my feelings weren’t nice when it came to the man I loved. Yes, I loved him, but the honest truth was I didn’t like him.

“Yes, we’re having a baby. He came to check on me last night. The fact that he spent ten minutes at the hospital shows how much he cares.”

“But he had Katy Jane. Things are different when you have kids.”

“I get that Bella. Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. I get that you’re a huge Brian supporter. I love Brian with all my heart, but he’s not perfect. I’m sorry if I can’t get over that fact that I don’t trust him. I’m sorry I don’t have a perfect relationship like you and Alex. Please don’t judge my feelings for Brian or Nick. You’re not living my life.” I yelled at my sister-in-law.

“I knew you had feelings for Nick. You never stopped, even after he treated you like shit. I can’t believe you would ruin your relationship with Brian because you still have feelings for that prick.” Bella stood up and grabbed her purse. “You’re making a big mistake.”

I watched her walk out of the house. I was flabbergasted at her anger towards the situation in my life. I knew that I was teetering into dangerous waters. Eventually I would have to decide who I wanted. It wasn’t fair to string either guy along. The stress of dealing with my love life wasn’t good for the baby. I had a lot of thinking to do.

My thinking was cut short, when Nick stormed into the living room an hour after Bella left. The fury in his eyes scared me. Slowly, I stood up. “Hello Nick.”

“Why didn’t you call me to tell me you were out of the hospital? You knew I would have brought you home.”

“Bella brought me home.” His anger didn’t subside at my explanation. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You’re never a bother, Alexia. Damn it, you could have a least called me. I went to the hospital to pick you up and you weren’t there. I made a total ass out of myself.” He said softly, sitting down next to me.

“Nick, I’m sorry. Just chalk it up to one more screw up.” I pulled my blanket up to the chin.

“Sweetheart, you’ve done nothing wrong. I’m sorry I came here acting like a jackass. I was just hurt that you didn’t tell me someone was bringing you home. I figured after last night I was going bring you home.” He smiled at me. My resolve weakened. I couldn’t be mad at him for caring. It was more than I could say for Brain. “I’m glad you were able to poop.  Did everything come out ok?”  He laughed.

I cracked a smile. “That’s just gross. Please don’t every say that again.”

“That’s the smile I know and love.” Nick gave me his trademark grin. I melted at his compliment. He always knew the right thing to say to me when I was feeling down.

“Nick, thank you.”

“There’s no reason to thank me.”

I slid my hand out from under the blanket. My fingers gently grazed the top of Nick’s hand. We both sat quietly; I was lost in my feelings for Nick. I knew it was wrong, but being with him felt right. That’s not to say I didn’t love Brian. I did love him, but I don’t know if it was in the same way. I needed to figure it out soon. It wasn’t fair to anyone to play this game, especially Nick or Brian. Both of them were not fully aware of what was going on with me. I tried to keep it to myself, but it was a losing battle.

“Nick, when did life get so complicated?” I asked quietly.

“It’s always been. You’ve just been lucky enough to not get thrown into the tornado called life. I know things aren’t going the way you planned. Give it time, Lexi. You’re loved by so many, even if sometimes they don’t show it.” I knew Nick was talking about Brian.  It was like he was trying to prove that Brian cared about me.

“Well it just plain sucks.” I gave Nick’s hand a squeeze. “There are a lot of decisions I need to make. I can’t take the stress anymore. It’s not good for me or the baby.”

“Follow your heart. That’s my one piece of advice to you. Don’t worry about what other people think. They aren’t living your life. You need to make yourself happy, not Brian, AJ, Bella, your mom, or me. I just want you to be happy.”

“I want to be happy, and right now I’m not happy.” I sniffled.

“Lexi, you sound tired. Take a nap. You’ll feel better. When you wake up, you can deal with all of life’s shit.”

“That sounds wonderful. Nick, will you lay with me until I fall asleep?”

“Anything for you.” We stretched out on the couch. Nick wrapped his arms around me. It was like he was protecting me from the world. Slowly, I fell into the first peaceful sleep I had in a long time.