- Text Size +

Why Are We Still Friends

By Rachel

Copyright 2015

 

Chapter 52

 

Brian and I weren’t on speaking terms. My feelings were hurt after our fight. My boyfriend didn’t want to be near me, let alone live with me. When did I become unworthy of love? If Brian wanted nothing to do with me, who would?

I was sitting on the couch watching reruns of “Full House” and eating peanut butter from the jar. This was my ritual for the last few days.  I hadn’t even taken a shower since AJ brought me home from that disastrous dinner.

“Lexi, you here?” Brian called out.  I ignored him and continued watching television. He came into the living room and flipped off the TV. “We need to talk.”

“I think you said enough the other night. I don’t want to talk to you.” I set the peanut butter on the coffee table.

“That’s mature.”

“You can just add that to your list of reasons you can’t stand to be near me.” I commented rudely. There was no reason for Brian to know my true feelings.

He sat down next to me. Frustration was written on his face. Good, let him do all the groveling. I had no reason to apologize. I did nothing wrong.

“Tiger Lilly, you know I love you. I was taken by surprise when Bella asked about us moving in together.” Brian started to explain. I didn’t want his apology. Did he really think it was going to change anything? “It’s not that I don’t want us to live together.”

“Then what is it? You made it pretty clear that you can’t stand the thought of being with me in the same house.” I couldn’t look at him. He wasn’t the Brian I knew and loved. That guy would never hurt my feelings.

“Lexi, baby, we are slowly working on our relationship. I don’t want to ruin things because we’re not ready for that step. We need time to strengthen our relationship. I don’t want to jump into something we’re not ready for.”  Brian was being honest. I couldn’t fault him for that. I was that one who wanted to take things slow. He was just doing what I asked.

“What about when the babies come? It’s going to be a lot of work with two newborns. I don’t know if I can do it by myself.”

“You don’t have to worry. I won’t let you do it by yourself. Let’s just take it one day at a time.”  He scooted closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. It felt good being in his arms. I decided to let my guard down, knowing I had to trust Brian.

“All, I ask is that you love me and our babies.”

“Of course, I will.” He let go of me. “Katy Jane is coming to visit in a few days. I want us all to spend the day together.”

“That sounds like fun. Are you going to tell her about the babies?” I asked curiously.

“I plan on it. I think she’ll be excited to be an older sister.” He says with a smile.

“Brian, I’m sorry that I keep overreacting about everything.” I apologize.

He kisses my head, before he speaks. “It’s not all your fault. I’ve given you a lot of reasons to not trust me. It’s going to take time for us to get back to the way things were. I love you, Alexia.”

 

After Brian left, I freshened up and sat at my desk to get some work done. There were some decisions I needed to make before the twins were born. Most of it dealt with work. There was no way I was going to work once the babies were born. Luckily, I had been putting money in the bank since I had my first job in high school. There was enough in my accounts that I wouldn’t have to work for a few years.

It was time for me to get started on the baby books. Now that I had to do two, I knew I was going to be spending a lot of time on them. I couldn’t believe that I was having twins. It was scary and exciting at the same time.

I opened the first book. There were all kinds of questions to answer. I got started filling in all the blanks. I came to the question about finding out I was pregnant. My mind was drawing a blank as to what the date was. I grabbed my planner and flipped to the calendar. I turned the pages and stared at the calendar.

Since my due date had been changed, I decided to check out when I conceived my two little bundles of joy. As a nurse, this was pretty easy to figure out. This really wasn’t adding up. A cold sweat started running down my face. I double checked and checked again.  Every time I came up with the same result.

“Lexi are you okay? I’ve been calling your name for the last few minutes.” Bella said from the doorway.

I looked up from my calendar. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you. I was concentrating.”

“Are you okay? You’re pale and clammy.” She walked over to me and put her hand on my forehead.

“Not really.” I took a deep breath. “I’m the biggest slut.”

“Lexi, you are far from a slut.”

I laughed to stop myself from crying. This revelation was going to cause lots of trouble. “I’ve slept with my two best guy friends, who just happen to be my brother’s best friends, within weeks of each other. How am I not a slut?”

“That doesn’t make you a slut. You didn’t sleep with Nick since you’ve been with Brian. I thought you were past all of this Nick shit. You love Brian and you’re pregnant with his babies.” Bella attempted to knock some sense into me. That wasn’t possible at the moment.

“Well everything would be fucking dandy if Brian was actually the father.” I blurted out.

“Stop joking, Alexia. That isn’t funny.” Bella commented seriously.

I threw the calendar at her. “Look! The doctor changed my due date and that makes the date of conception the second time I slept with Nick.”

“Maybe your doctor is wrong.”  She said rationally as she set the calendar down.

“No, I recalculated it at least five times. It makes perfect sense. Twins run in Nick’s family. What am I going to do, Bella? This changes everything.” I really needed Bella’s help with this debacle.

“Well, I think you need to tell Brian and Nick the truth. It’s not going to be easy.”

“Brian’s not going to want anything to do with me.” I sighed, feeling frustrated. “Plus Nick might not want anything to do with the babies.”

“Lexi, the first thing you need to do is calm down. Just because you’re having someone else’s babies, doesn’t mean you still can’t be a couple.” I rolled my eyes at my sister-in-law. “Sure, it’s his best friend you’re having a kid with, but it won’t matter cause he loves you.  As for Nick, I think he’d make sure his kids were taken care of. Not sure in what capacity, but he cares for you so much.”

“And the press will have a fucking field day with that. I can’t have my kids in the lime light cause I’m the Backstreet slut.”

“Lexi, I know it isn’t going to be easy. It could blow up in your face or turn out to be the best thing that ever happened. Give it a few days to sink in before you tell Nick and Brian. You know, AJ and I will be here to support you no matter what the outcome.”

Bella was right. I needed to take a few days to think about this debacle I was in. I had to figure out what I wanted before I could confront the two most important men in my life. Which one was I going to tell first? What a tangle web my life had become.

 

Chapter End Notes:
What do you think is going to happen next?