Why Are We Still Friends

By Rachel

Copyright 2014

Chapter 19

When I got back from my walk, I noticed Nick’s car in the driveway. I was still in a sour mood. Nick was not the person I wanted to see. Hopefully he was here to work on something with AJ.

As I opened the door I picked up on a heated conversation in the kitchen. I slipped my sneakers off and tiptoed to the kitchen door.

“Leave my sister alone. You’ve caused enough damage by sleeping with her.”

“It’s not like I forced her. She was more than willing.” Nick was getting cocky.

“That’s cause Lexi is fucking in love with your sorry ass.” AJ sounded irritated. Nick could do that to you. “Where the hell is your brain? You think it’s okay to screw around with best friends. My sister is getting hurt.”

“AJ, I’m old enough to fight my own battles. I don’t need you doing it for me.” I entered the room. Both men looked shocked to see me.

“Lexi, I’m just trying to help.” He gave me a sheepish look. My brother meant well, but I didn’t want him involved. I was feeling foolish enough without him nosing his way into the drama.

“I get that, but I’m twenty-nine. Let me deal with my own shit.” Then I turned toward Nick. “Why don’t you just notify the news, so they can broadcast who you have sex with each night? I’m betting everyone knows about us.”

Nick didn’t utter a word. He stood there looking pissed. I wasn’t sure if it was me or AJ who pissed him off. At this point I didn’t care. I was tired of always being nice and making things better. This time it was up to Nick.

“What if you got one or both of them pregnant? Do you ever think about that stuff?” AJ laid into Nick.

“I’m not that fucking stupid. I do know what a condom is and how to use it.” Nick pulled one from his wallet and threw it at him.

“Plus, there is no way I’d be stupid enough to let him get me pregnant. I’ve been on birth control since I turned eighteen.” I gasped when I realized I was sharing too much personal information.  Seemed like I was sharing all my secrets with my brother today.

I walked out and went on the front porch to sit. I needed to be alone. So much was going through my head, but I couldn’t concentrate on any of it.  I stared at the clouds trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

“Alexia, I know what happened last night. I saw you in the doorway.” Nick said quietly as he sat down beside me.

It was a good ten minutes before I acknowledged him. “Why? Why did you think it was okay to have sex with Annalise in my bed?” I questioned.

“We were drunk. Anna thought it would be sexy and dangerous to do it in your room. It’s hard saying no to her.”

“Well, it was a lousy choice.” I looked at Nick. “I thought we were best friends.”

“Lexi, you are my best friend. Being with Anna doesn’t change that. It’s not fair for you to expect me to not be happy with another woman. I really like Anna a lot. You think it’s all about sex, but it’s not.” He shifted moving closer to me.

“From my perspective it’s all about sex.” There was no way that Nick was falling in love with Anna. She was just using him and he didn’t realize it. Anna was the best manipulator I knew.

“You need to get over me, Lexi. I’m not the right guy for you.” He wiped a tear from my cheek. “It wouldn’t work between us. You deserve so much better than me.”

I moved to a chair, so I wasn’t sitting by him. “You’re right. I deserve better than you, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I didn’t set out to fall in love with you. It just happened.”

“I knew you were in love with me.”

“AND YOU PLAYED ME A FOOL ALL THIS TIME?” I screamed. Things were getting worse instead of better.

“Oh, Lexi. I tried to not to give you any ideas. I love you dearly, but not as a lover.” 

Nick started walking toward me. I backed away from him. I didn’t want him touching me. He took my hand and pulled me against him. Then he wrapped his strong arms around me. 

“You deserve someone who’s going to treat you like a goddess.” Nick played with my hair. “You’re so blind that you don’t even see it.”

“See what?”

“Do you realize that there’s a man that is so crazy in love with you? He’s been waiting for you to notice him.”

“What are you talking about?” I was baffled. No man was in love with me. Nick was trying to get me off his back.

“Are you that stupid? Brian is in love with you. He has been for years.”

I pulled back from him. No, this was a lie. There’s no way Brian was in love with me. Nick was playing a joke. What would Brian see in me? We were friends and nothing more. He had never shown any romantic interest in me.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Nick watched me.

“Go to hell! How dare you involve Brian in this debacle?” I screamed at Nick. “Brian is a good friend. You don’t need to make up lies to make me forget about you. I’m over you. You aren’t worth the hassle. Just go back to Anna.” 

I slammed the door in Nick’s face. I rushed toward the staircase practically knocking AJ down. “Whoa, slow down. What’s the matter?” AJ grabbed my shoulder to stop be from bolting.

“God, I hate men.” I struggled to free myself from my brother’s grasp. “Just leave me alone.”

Since AJ was stronger, he wouldn’t let me go. “Alexia Lillian McLean, you need to get yourself under control. Nothing is that bad. You are acting like a five year old. Calm down and act like a rational adult.”

“Sorry, I’m not acting like the perfect little Alexia everyone expects me to be. I’ve realized that being nice gets you nowhere. I can’t even get a man to fall in love with me.” The tears started pouring down my face. “Nick had the audacity to say Brian’s in love with me.”

AJ moved us, so we were sitting on the stairs. He hugged me close to his body. I cried until there are no tears left. We sat in silence for a long time.

“You may not believe it, but Brian is in love with you.” AJ whispered into my hair.

“Why don’t I see it?” I asked nervously. I’m still not believing it.

“Because you are so wrapped up in Nick fucking Carter. I don’t get it. He’s an ass when it comes to women. You know that and yet you still want him.”

“I can’t help what my heart wants.” AJ thought I could just turn off my feelings. “I just want what you and Bella have.”

“Well, you would never have that with Nick.” AJ said harshly. “He’s a womanizer. Nick is never going to settle down for life. Lexi, I want you to be happy. I think Brian would be the man to do that.”

“Why Brian?” I was curious for an answer.

“He treats you like gold. Don’t you see the way he looks at you? How he touches you? Lexi, he doesn’t just volunteer at the hospital to be with the kids. It’s a chance to spend time with you. Brian is your biggest cheerleader.” AJ smiled at me. “Plus, you two have an undeniable chemistry. You flirt and tease him and you don’t even know it. It’s just natural between the two of you.”

I couldn’t fathom the idea of Brian and me together. It didn’t make sense. I loved Brian. He was one of my closest friends, but I wasn’t in love with him.

“I’m going to go take a nap.” I needed to forget things for a while. “I need time to digest everything.”