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Chapter Fourteen


Nick

“What a dawg,” I said, pushing the charger into my phone and rolling back over to snuggle against Lauren. I wrapped my arms around her and shuffled my feet under the blankets ‘til they were warm enough that she’d let me run them down her calves without complaint. I pressed my nose into the space behind her ear and kissed her head. “He’s already --” kiss “ -- gettin’ it on --” kiss “ -- over there.” I ran my hand down her side, over her hips, along her thigh…

“Mmm,” Lauren murmured, turning into me so my mouth ended up on her mouth, “So, Pot,” she said between kisses, “Have you called any other Kettles black today?”

“Don’t make racist jokes,” I said, sucking her lower lip into my mouth.

“I’m not,” she said, her voice coming out funny since I had her lip held captive, “I’m saying you’re accusing him of doing exactly what you’re doing right -- ohhh.”

I grinned, then kissed her mouth, silencing her.

I dunno what was bugging me about Kevin, but there was something. I just had this weird, nagging feeling that wouldn’t go away, even as I was laying in bed doing all kinds of dirty, dirty stuff with Lauren, I couldn’t shake the feeling like I needed to call Kevin. I mean we’d dropped him off at his house, and he was probably just as, you know, preoccupied as I was, but it still bothered me that he hadn’t answered.

“What if he didn’t have his keys and Kris wasn’t home?” I mumbled into Lauren’s mouth.

“We’ve been over this a dozen times already, Nick,” she groaned.

“I know but…”

“You tried calling him, there’s not a lot else you can do besides that,” she pointed out. “He’ll call back when he can. Maybe they’re talking. You said he told her they needed to talk.”

“Maybe.”

Lauren sat up. She grabbed my face, holding my cheeks between her hands and stared into my eyes, “Nickolas, talking about Kevin? It’s not good for the sex.”

I sat up, too. “I know. Neither’s thinkin’ about him. But I can’t stop. I dunno why, I just can’t.”

“You know, I’m really close to starting to question what all happened between you two out in Kentucky, Mr. Carter,” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Aw shut up, nothin’ like that,” I answered, pushin’ her hand. “Can we try callin’ him again?”

“You might as well,” Lauren said, waving her hand at the phone, “Neither of us is gonna be in the mood much longer with all this Kevin talk.”

“Bushy eyebrows don’t turn you on?” I asked, winking as I reached for the phone.

“Oh God no,” Lauren shuddered.

“What if I grew one like that?” I asked, smirking.

“Baby please, you can’t even grow hair where it’s supposed to grow,” she teased, “Remember the great 70s porno stache of twenty-twelve?”

“Shhh.”

“You need rogain for your chinny-chin-chin,” she whispered, running her fingers over my chin.

The phone was ringing as we both giggled and she ran her fingers over my face.

”It’s Kev, leave a message.”

“Kevvvvv-in,” I sing-songed, “Call me back.” I hung up and looked at Lauren. “See, he still isn’t answering, I’m really concerned, like for real.”

“Would you answer if you were having sex?”

“Sure,” I lied, “I’d be like hey I’m gettin’ bonked I’ll call you back.” I paused for dramatic effect, then added, “I mean that’d be like accented by like moans and grunts or whatever, depending on the part of the sex we were at but --”

Lauren playfully punched my arm, “Come off it, you would not answer the phone, don’t be an asshole,” she laughed.

“And plus,” I said, thinking about it more, “It doesn’t make sense they’d be having sex actually, ‘cos she wasn’t even talkin’ to him before yesterday. Do chicks go from like zero to sex that fast?”

“Maybe he walked in and it was like fireworks, sparks flying everywhere, and she just had to have him like right there,” Lauren suggested. “You know, like how this all started?” She raised an eyebrow.

It’s true. We’d literally only just barely made it in the house before we started getting rowdy. We’d tripped over Nacho in the foyer, our mouths already connected, shedding clothes all the way up the stairs as we tried to keep our lips touching, like some sort of crazy mating ritual.

“Maybe,” I said.

Lauren ran her palms down my chest. “You said he said they were okay yesterday, right? After they talked?”

I thought about the chat Kev and I had on the porch of the house. I couldn’t remember the exact words he’d said on the topic, I’d been overcome with excitement that I was gonna see Lauren and then concern for Caroline. I knew I’d asked him how it’d gone with Kristin on the phone, and it seemed like he’d said it’d gone okay, but the more I thought about it the less that seemed true. He’d been quiet and withdrawn all the way to Louisville, hadn’t played any music or complained about my headphones being on (which was one of Kev’s pet peeves, he hates when people use electronic devices instead of talking to someone they’re physically in the room with, he’s not someone you ever wanna hold a conversation with while texting or trying to follow a football game on your phone). He’d slept on the plane, which Kevin loves talking on planes about all the subtle little feelings and nuances of the plane, like what those little moving parts on the wings are for and why turbulence exists and stuff.

Probably shit he learned from that damn poster he’d had over his bed, I thought.

“I wish he’d just answer his phone,” I said.

Lauren moved her hand from my chest to my shoulder and squeezed gently. “You’re a good friend, and he will appreciate that when he finally answers. But Nick, right now, I really, really, really need you to focus.” She raised an eyebrow.

“Focus?”

“Mmhm,” she nodded, “I need you to focus on what we are doing. You and me. Right here, right now. C’mon baby, I know you can do it.” She leaned forward, kissing my neck.

I tilted my head to one side to allow her easier access to my neck.

Then a thought occurred to me. “What if his phone battery died and Kristin’s not home and he doesn’t have his keys and he’s just sitting on the stoop? We didn’t watch him go inside.”

Lauren sighed. I felt her warm breath on my neck. She pulled back so she was kneeling on the bed in front of me. “Baby, would you feel better if we drove over there and made sure he’s not just sitting on the doorstep?”

I nodded.




Nothin’ much was going on at the Richardson house as Lauren pulled to a stop across the street in front of some other random house. She put the car in park and leaned back so I could see out her driver side window. “See?” she asked, “No Kevin on the stoop.”

I stared at the house, “Yeah,” I said.

“Feel better?”

“I dunno,” I answered, staring out at the house.

Lauren ran her hand over the curve of the steering wheel, staring at me, chewing the inside of her lower lip.

“I’m sorry,” I said, turning to her. “I know this is annoying.”

Lauren reached over and ran her hand through the hair at the back of my neck, scratching a little. “Can we go home now?” she asked.

I nodded, feeling like I was melting into her hand.

“Okay, good.” Lauren started the car, “Because I have plans for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm…” she answered, “Big plans.”

“I like plans,” I said.

And I tried like hell to push Kevin out of my mind. He’d call when he could, I told myself, and then he’d tell me all the great stuff that went down with him and Kris and how he was doin’ just fine and everything would be okay.

For now, all I need to worry about was me and Lauren and these big plans she had for me.




Kevin still hadn’t called me back the next day at breakfast. I was sitting on the couch in the basement home-gym with a bowl of Cheerios, watching while Lauren worked out. She was doing curls, sitting on a medicine ball. I’d been resisting the urge to mention Kevin all morning, but my ability to ignore my worries was wearing thinner and thinner. I glanced at the clock on my phone.

Lauren brought the weight to her shoulder. “So out of curiosity,” she breathed, lowering the weight, before bringing it back up again, “and I don’t mean this to seem like I’m being pushy or pressuring you,” she lowered and lifted again, “but when did you want to start talking about what happened and when to reschedule the wedding?”

I chewed on a spoonful of Cheerios quite loudly. “I dunno, anytime,” I answered. “I really mean it this time, baby, I ain’t spooked at all. I ain’t goin’ no place this time. Really.”

Lauren dropped the weight onto the floor gently. “You said that last time, too.”

“I mean it though,” I said, shaking my head, “Baby, I realized that I’m more scared of losing you than I really am of marrying you, so running away doesn’t even make sense anymore. I’ve learned my lesson. Really. I’ll marry you right this second if you want to.”

She picked up the weight with her other arm, “We can’t get married right this second, Nick, I’m in the middle of my reps,” she replied with a little sarcastic grin.

Fuck I love that grin.

“I’m just saying. Whenever, wherever,” I stared at her. “Baby, we’re meant to be together.”

“Okay Shakira,” Lauren started doing her curls again. “So… let’s talk about a date then. I know that was the hardest part the first time,” she added with a raised eyebrow.

I opened my mouth to give her an answer when I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out. It was Kevin. “Holy fuck, it’s Kev!” I jumped up and slid my thumb across the screen to answer it.

“Here we go again,” Lauren sighed.

“Kevin?” I asked, rushing for the stairs, almost tripping over Igby, who was asleep on the third step. “Hey, how’s it goin’?”

He was quiet for a moment. “Nick… can I come over your place?”

“Yeah, sure,” I said. I paused. There was something wrong in his voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’... could you pick me up?”

“Yeah, sure,” I repeated. I paused again. There was something really wrong in his voice. “Kev… what’sa matter?”

“Just… come get me.”

“Okay, I’ll be at your house in, like, ten minutes,” I said.

“Nick… I’m not at my house.”

“Okay… where are you?”

Kevin sighed. “The Marriott on Third.”

“I’ll be right there,” I promised without asking any questions. I hung up the phone and put it down on the kitchen counter. I took a deep breath.

Lauren came out of the basement door, Nacho and Igby at her heels, running a towel over her face. “Everything okay?” she asked. She took a sip out of her water bottle.

I shook my head.

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s at a hotel again,” I said. I looked down at the tile countertop. “He needs me to go pick him up so he can come here.”

“So the peace talks aren’t going so well over there,” she said slowly.

I shook my head again.

Lauren put her water bottle down on the counter and put her arms around me. “Are you okay?”

I shook my head yet again because I felt like if I spoke I might choke on my words or else start crying and I didn’t wanna do that.

“Nick,” she said, “It’s going to be okay.”

“But they’re breaking up,” I said and sure enough my voice was croaky, like a frog’s. “I don’t want them to break up. It’s not fair. What’s the point of love if it never lasts?”

“Hey now,” she said, and she reached in and swept her hands across my cheeks, staring into my eyes. “Don’t be like that.” She shook her head, “You can’t give up like that on love. It doesn’t always make sense, but that’s only because it doesn’t follow any rules.”

I looked up at her. “You realize that if Kev and Kris break up the most healthiest relationship in alla the people we know is Brian and Leighanne?”

Lauren kissed my ears, “Give me your balls, sweetie, I’ll keep them in my purse and that way we know we’ll last for ever.”

I laughed in spite of myself, even with the tears threatening to leak out of my eyes.

“See, aren’t you glad now that love doesn’t follow rules and you can keep your balls to yourself?” she asked, “I mean, as long as you share them during playtime and all.” She winked.

“You’re dirty,” I mumbled.

“So are you.”

I pulled her tight to me.

“Besides. Maybe we’re the healthiest relationship in all the people we know,” she suggested. “Did you ever think of that?”

I shook my head.

“It could be true, you never know.” Lauren smiled, kissed my chin, and pulled out of our embrace. “Now go get your friend.”




Kevin was waiting on the curb by the front entrance of the Marriott when I pulled up. He had his duffel bag on his shoulder and his sunglasses on. He climbed in as soon as I pulled up. “Thanks,” he mumbled, leaning back into the seat of the car.

“Yeah, no problem,” I answered. I drove for three blocks before I decided that, even though it was probably not what he wanted to talk about, I needed to know. “What happened?” I asked, “Y’all were gonna talk and work on it, you said so.”

Kevin rubbed his eyes under his sunglasses. “Yeah. I said so,” he mumbled. “Nick, I didn’t talk to Kris the other night. She didn’t even know I was coming home ‘til I got here yesterday and... “ he sighed, “Let’s just say I wasn’t welcome.”

“Well did you tell her you wanted to talk and work at it?” I asked.

“God damn it, Nick, of course I did, she didn’t want anything to do with it, she made it sound like I was some kind of fuckin’ crimminal for trying to do my job. Like I was strategically trying to make her life a living hell. Like I woke up every morning for the past year being like hmm, how can I make Kristin’s life suck.” He ran his hands through his hair and bent forward, the seat belt stretching with him as he stared down at his knees. “Telling her I wanted to work it out didn’t help anything, it just got me a slap across the face. Literally.”

His voice was harsh and rough. I bit my tongue.

“I’m a fuckin’ failure,” he mumbled.

I looked over, “How do you figure that? You aren’t a failure, I mean, look at where you’re from - that little tiny town with denim jeans from Honchell’s - and look where you’ve been since, Kev. You’ve been to the top of the world and back, you’ve been on the cover of Rolling Stone man. You ain’t no failure.”

“Maybe not on a business standpoint but in a personal way, yeah, I am.” Kevin shook his head, “Nick, I can’t do anything right. I keep fucking up all the people I care about. Look at Kris, look at Caroline. Look at you.”

“What about me?”

“You never would’ve run off from the wedding if it wasn’t for me. You would’ve sucked it up and gone out there and got hitched like you were supposed to do. If I hadn’t helped you run --” Kev shook his head. “And that’s not the first time I’ve failed you. I’ve failed you a hundred times in the past, between not protecting you from yourself with the drugs and alcohol to not treating you like a real friend, not treating you like a real man. I still think of you as a little kid sometimes, Nick. And I’m still hurting you, disappointing you with this whole mess with Kristin and I.”

I flexed my jaw a couple times, trying to decide how to respond.

When I’d gone a few minutes, without thinking of anything, I stole Lauren’s line. “Love is doesn’t always make sense because it doesn’t play by the rules, Kev.”

“What?” he looked confused.

I shrugged, “I dunno, Lauren said it earlier.” I brought the car to a stop at a red light, then turned to look at Kevin. “You gotta do what makes the most sense for you, man. You aren’t disappointing me. I just want you to be happy after its over, you know?”

Kevin nodded. “Which is why I’m not going to give up just yet. I just need some time to… to come up with a plan.”

“Atta boy,” I said as the light turned green.




“How long do you think he’s going to stay?” Lauren was pulling the blankets down on the bed. I was brushing my teeth. It was almost a week later and Kevin had been sleeping on our couch downstairs since I’d gone to pick him up.

“He’s planning,” I said importantly. But it sounded less important because it came out all garbled ‘cos of the toothpaste. I spit into the sink basin and repeated, “He’s planning.”

Lauren was sliding into bed, her knees gliding over the silky sheets. I threw my tooth brush into its case and wiped my mouth quickly, and rushed to get into bed with her. “I get that he’s planning, but I mean, can’t he get an apartment or something?”

I pulled her into my arms as we both settled against the pillow, wrapping myself around her back. “I don’t think he wants to be alone,” I said.

Lauren ran her hands down my arms and tangled her fingers with mine, “But I’d like to be alone with you,” she mumbled.

“He’ll figure out what he’s gotta do soon,” I answered, kissing her ear in a little trail.

“Yeah,” she murmured. “But… Nicky…”

“Shh, don’t call me Nicky,” I whispered in her ear, then I buried my nose in her hair and took a deep breath, ready for sleep.

“Did you talk to management about the date yet?” she asked.

I opened my eyes.

“Nick?”

“Baby,” I whispered, “It’s sleepy time.”

She sighed. “You know this is exactly what happened last time, right?”

“I’ll talk to ‘em.”

“Okay.” She rubbed the space between my fingers with her own fingers. It felt good, but distracting. I tightened my fingers around hers to stop her and closed my eyes again, completely ready to just drift off to sleep. “Nick,” she whispered.

“Mmm?”

“What if his plan is to just stay here?”

“Lolo…”

“I’m serious, maybe he doesn’t have any other plans.”

“I’m sure he has other plans.”

“Well tomorrow, you should talk to Kevin, too. Try to help him along a little maybe?”

I wanted to do that even less than talking to management again.

“Yes,” I answered, ‘cos I just wanted to sleep.

“Okay.”

She got quiet. I thought maybe I’d finally answered every worry she had. I started breathing deep. I was almost asleep when she whispered, “Nick?”

“Jesus, just go to sleep,” I mumbled.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, now sleepy-sleepy.”

She giggled.

But she at least let me fall asleep.