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Chapter Twenty-Two


Nick

Mike had cleared out the photographers that had managed to get in and set up an invited-guests-only security team at the entrance to the driveway so by the time Kev and I went back to the reception hall, there wasn’t anybody around to bug him. Everyone kind of glanced around at him and whispered when we first walked in, though, which was enough to make him turn a little red around the edges. “They all think I’m a colossal douchebag now,” Kev muttered as he skirted around the crowd of people who were trying to act like they weren’t looking at us.

I shrugged, “They should mind their own business, then,” I said.

Kevin sighed.

“Okay, look, here’s what we’re gonna do,” I said, “We’re gonna get a couple drinks and go upstairs to the groom’s room, and I’ll text Alex and have her bring Kris over and you two can talk it out and nobody will think anything of it, they’ll just think you and me are off toasting or something.” I tapped my hand on the bar, “Diet Mt. Dew for me and a scotch on the rocks for Kevin here.”

The barkeeper looked at Kevin with concern, then ducked away, nodding as he got the drinks.

Kevin leaned his back against the bar, looked around a second, then turned back-to the room. “They’re all staring at me.”

“They’re judging you for not getting me the second there was almost a girl fight,” I joked. The bartender handed me my Mt. Dew and Kevin’s scotch, which I rattled the glass of and handed to him. “C’mon, now we go upstairs.” We made our way past a group of Lauren’s friends from Paris, one of them giving Kevin a strange look. I hoped he didn’t see it.

Upstairs, the groom’s room was staged in a library type room with a big chair you could picture some Hugh Hefner style dude in a velvet smoking jacket sitting in. They’d even provided a tray of cigars, which Kevin stood inspecting while I texted Alex and asked if Kristin was in with the bridal party and, if she was, could she bring her to the groom’s room a sec.

Uhhh..ya. Hold on, she texted back.

“She’s comin’,” I told Kevin.

“Okay,” he said.

I looked at the tray of cigars, too, and picked a couple up. “These are nice,” I said, inspecting them. I slid them into the inside pocket of my jacket, planning to save them.

Kevin was rolling a cigar between his forefinger and thumb.

“You know what you’re gonna do?”

He shook his head. “I know what I should do and I know what I want to do and I know what I want to want to do.” He sighed.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

Kevin slid one of the cigars into his jacket pocket, too. “I wish there was a clear answer,” he said, “Some sign that would make all of this obvious.”

I’d wished that a shit ton of times, too. But there was never, ever a clear answer like that, not when it came to love. It was always convoluted. Everyone was always making up their own way, doing all the crazy shit that we see in the movies. All of it added up to love in one way or another.

“You know. It’s weird,” I said.

“What is?”

“Love. All the stuff we do for it.” I shrugged. “Just weird is all.”

Kevin put the cigar down. “You want to know the secret?” he asked.

“What secret?” I like secrets, he had my undivided attention.

“The secret to love, Nick,” he said. “Love is the one thing you need that you can’t adequately give yourself. You need love from another person. And love’s rare. So you gotta appreciate it when you get it, even though it’s routine, you gotta wake up every day thanking God you got it from someone else. And you gotta remember that it’s important and that it’s worth it. Every day. Especially the bad days. Love is more important than your ego or your pride. So when you’re so sure you’re right during the fights, you gotta stop and remember that love is more important than you winning. You already won. You gotta be willing to let it go.”

I nodded.

“Love’s strong Nick, and it’s hard to break, but once it’s broken…” Kevin shook his head, “...ain’t no promise you’ll ever get it back.”

There was a knock at the door and before I could move to answer it, Alex just pushed it open and came in, trailed by Kristin. Instead of looking angry, like I’d been expecting, Kristin looked sad. Her eyes were red and puffy around the corners and her make up a little smeared. She stood there biting her lips, staring at Kevin. He looked up at her and stared right back.

I backed away from Kevin until I was next to Alex, and nudged her, nodding to the door. “We’ll be -- uh --” but neither Kevin nor Kristin seemed to notice I’d started to say anything at all, and I led the way out into the hall, leaving them alone, without finishing the sentence.

Alex looked at me as I pulled the door shut, “Don’t you think someone should stay to moderate, just in case?”

I shrugged.

“I heard there was a fight downstairs,” Alex said as we walked down the hall, “She told us she fought with some girl Kevin went to school with or something.”

“Yeah,” I said, and then, “It was crazy, Alex, they were like slappin’ each other across the face and screeching and then they were on the floor and rollin’ around, like that scene in the Parent Trap when Haley Mills is fighting Haley Mills all over the floor and they spill the cake on that one camp counselor lady…”

It was the first of many times I would exaggerate the story in my lifetime.

Alex shook her head. I dunno if she knew I was exaggerating or not. “I haven’t seen that movie in ages,” she said with a laugh. We were standing at the very top of the stairs, down the hallway from the bride and groom’s rooms, overlooking the foyer. “I always liked the part when they did the performance for the parents and they sang Let’s Get Together.”

I laughed, looking down at my shoes.

“Lauren and I used to sing that in the backyard when we were kids. She’d be the Boston sister with the pretty dress and I’d be the California casual one, and we’d do the dance parts we remembered. It was pretty silly.”

I smiled, picturing Lauren and Alex playing together as kids. “Sounds pretty fantastic to me.”

Alex laughed, “I’m sure Daddy has video somewhere.”

“I’ll have to ask Larry, ‘cos I’d fuckin’ pay big to see that,” I said with a grin.

Alex smiled, “Hmm, making future plans to talk to Dad… so I can report to Lauren that you’re holding up okay? No plans to run away?”

“I mean I have butterflies in my stomach but I’m good,” I answered. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good.” Alex smiled, “I kinda like the idea of having a big brother so you need to stick around.”

“I will, Alex.”

She grinned.

Then, from downstairs, “Hey Nick?”

I turned to look. Caroline was standing at the bottom of the steps. “Can I talk to you?”

I turned back to Alex, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she replied, “I’m good.”

I gave her a quick hug, then headed downstairs, where Caroline was standing by the door. We went outside, the sunlight blindingly bright. Pretty much everyone was there now, the parking lot was a lot more full than it’d been when Kevin and I had gotten here. Caroline led the way to the very same bench Kev and I had been sitting on earlier, but she didn’t sit.

“I just wanted to tell you congratulations and I’m glad you made things right with Lauren,” she said, turning to face me.

“I am too,” I answered. “You helped a lot. So thank you.”

Caroline shrugged, “I seem to be a master at fixing everyone else’s relationships,” she said. She stared at the resort building, a sad sort of expression in her eyes. She shook it off, then turned back to me. “Anyways, I don’t want to be in the way and cause anymore scenes and honestly all I want to do is bitch slap Kristin for hurting him when he’s trying so damn hard to make her love him again…” she shook her head and puffed out her cheeks. “Some people don’t know how lucky they are,” she added. Her eyes met mine, “Anyway, I just wanted to say that I appreciate you inviting me. But I need to go.”

I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” I said, “I didn’t think there’d be such a scene with Kris and stuff. I didn’t think it all through.”

“In all these years, I never realized I was so angry at her for taking him away, but --” she shrugged. “I guess I was after all.”

“I guess,” I answered. I stared down at my feet.

“I want him to be happy,” she said. Then Caroline’s voice went quiet, “I always thought I could make him happy.” I looked up at her. Her eyes were diverted up to the heavens. “I thought maybe -- maybe he was gonna give me a chance to… He signed the note he left congratulating me on the certificate with love Kevin.”

“So you got your certificate,” I said.

I wanted to change the subject. I hated the feeling in my guts that Caroline was going to be nothing short of shattered from all this. She was so nice, too nice to be broken hearted. I was kinda glad she was leaving, if for no reason other than I wouldn’t have to see it happen.

Caroline nodded, “I did. Finally.” She smiled a little through the anguish in her eyes. “You and Lauren should come visit the horses sometime. See the new sign at the camp.”

“I’m sure Laur would like that,” I said. I looked around, “Too bad we don’t have any of the champagne, I’d toast your achievement.”

Caroline laughed shakily, “We don’t need to toast my achievement.”

“Yeah huh, when someone does something amazing they deserve recognition in the form of a toast or - or -” My eyes landed on Lauren’s french guy friend standing a few feet away, smoking a cigarette and talking on his phone in rapid French. “Oh, I know!” I grappled to feel my chest and pulled the cigars I’d put in there out, handing one to her. “Guy… hey… uh... guy? er… Francois de… uh.. guy?”

He turned around, “Oui?”

“Do you -- errm --- uh… Vooly voo er...lighter…?” I mimed lighting the cigars.

He blinked at me. “I speak English,” he said in a thick accent.

“Oh. Well, uh, could we borrow your lighter?”

He lowered the phone a second and reached in his pocket and produced a Bic which he tossed to me. I lit the cigars and tossed it back, “Mercy,” I said.

He rolled his eyes and turned away, pocketing the lighter and saying something into the phone that probably translated Lauren’s marrying a colossal ass.

Caroline was laughing. She put the cigarette between her teeth, “Do I look sophisticated?”

“Eh…” I put the cigar between my teeth, too. “Do I?”

“You look like Groucho Marx.”

“Kevin would for real,” I said, and I put my fingers up over my eyebrows as I inhaled and puffed the smoke out around the cigar.

Caroline laughed, “Oh my God. He would.”

“Them fuckin’ eyebrows, man,” I laughed, shaking my head. “You know who else he looks like? Bert. Like Bert and Ernie.”

Caroline wiped tears of laughter from her face, “Jesus. Nick you’re bad.”

“I know. I’d be gettin’ the Dirty Brow for this if he could hear me. That’s what we call it, when the brows come together ‘cos he’s angry.” I mimicked the face that produced the Dirty Brow. “Like this.”

“I know that face,” Caroline laughed.

“Has his brows always been so fuckin… huge?” I asked.

“Always.”

I laughed, coughing on the cigar smoke. I wasn’t sure I really liked the cigar.

“I always liked his eyebrows,” she said wistfully. She smiled, but the words had taken the humor out because it just reminded us both that she had lost him and it brought a kind of sobriety to the moment. She studied her cigar.

I looked down at my feet. “Thanks for coming.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“Kev didn’t think you would ‘cos you don’t like traveling.”

Caroline shrugged, “Maybe I will travel more now. Who knows.” She looked over at the ocean. “It’s beautiful here. I see why you guys like it so much. I’ve never lived anywhere but Irvine.”

“Well any time you wanna come to California, let me know, I can show you around.” I smiled. I stubbed the cigar out against the metal handle on the bench we were standing beside. I definitely wasn’t a fan of cigars, I decided.

“I don’t even have your phone number,” she replied. She must not have liked hers, either, ‘cos she copied me, stubbing it out. “Here,” Caroline smiled and handed me her phone, “Put your number in.”

So we stood there, me tapping in my information into her phone. “There,” I said when we were done, “Now we can stay in touch.” I smiled. “Text me so I have your number.”

“I will,” she answered. She took a deep breath, “Anyways. I’m gonna go to the airport and see if I can get an earlier flight back to Kentucky,” she said. “I’m sorry to miss the actual ceremony, but it’s for the best. I don’t want to cause anymore scenes.”

I nodded. “Thanks for coming,” I said.

“Good luck, Nick. And tell Lauren congratulations from me.” Caroline patted my arm, then she turned and I watched her walk across the lot to a small rental car at the far end. She waved before she got in and I waved back. I sighed. Despite all my whining and pushing for Kris, I realized as Caroline left that a small part of me had been rooting for her all along.

Back inside, it was a cloud of congratulations as I walked across the room to dispose of the cigar. Caroline had taken hers with her, I realized.

I hoped she would have a happy ending, too, someday.

I got another Mt. Dew and talked to various friends and Lauren’s family members. Larry and I were talking about football when Kevin came in the room. He straightened his suit jacket as he walked toward me.

“Where’s Kris?” I asked.

Kevin shook his head.

“Can I get another scotch on the rocks, please,” he requested from the bartender, putting his glass from before on the counter. The bartender took it and squirreled away.

“Kev?”

He stood there, licking his teeth, a deep, contemplative look on his face as he waited for his scotch. Finally, he looked up at me. “I signed the papers.”

I stared at him, my brain scrambling to wrap around the words. “What? What? Why?”

He took a deep breath. “I… I made up my mind, Nick.”

“But… the song.”

Kevin shook his head. “Where’s Caroline?”

“But the song was gonna work,” I tried again.

“I’ll tell you what happened later,” Kev said, “Right now, I need to talk to Caroline. Now.”

“She left,” I said, “I thought you’d chose Kristin, I didn’t try to stop her, I just -- Kev, she left like an hour ago now,” I added looking at my watch.

“What?”

“She was gonna get her flight rescheduled,” I said, still in disbelief, “You -- but -- Kristin -- how did -- Kevin??”

“She was going to the airport?”

“Kev!”

“I’ll explain it later, Nick. Right now, I gotta plane to catch.” He put the glass down and ran for the door of the conference-ballroom, knocking into Larry and a couple people he was standing with. “Sorry,” he said, and he ran on.

I ran after him, “Sorry,” I said to Larry as my shoes slid across the floor panel.

“Nick!” He yelled, “What the hell are you doing?” A panicked look filled his face. He thought I was running away again, I realized.

“Larry, dude, I swear I’ll be right back!” I yelled, “I gotta take care of somethin’ real fast.” And I ran after Kev before I could get a response, before I could explain anything.

My heart raced as I skidded and slipped after Kevin, ‘til I finally got frustrated and kicked the stupid slippery shoes off in the foyer. I’d collect them on my way back inside.

Kevin was standing beside the car, frustratedly patting himself down, trying to find the car keys in his jacket pockets when I caught up to him. I held the keys up, which I’d taken when we got to the resort. “Looking for these?”

“Yes,” he held out his hand for them.

“You’ve had a couple too many to be drivin’ Kev,” I said, shaking my head.

“Nick, c’mon man. I’ve got to catch up to her.”

I said, “You can call her.”

“I don’t have her phone number,” he said.

Frustrated, wishing I’d made her type her info into my phone, too, when I’d typed mine into hers, I tried again, “But Kevin…”

“Nick, please,” he said. He stared at me with wide, desperate eyes. “I have to catch up to her.”

“But --” I flapped my arms at the resort, “But --”

“Nick. I can’t let this go another twenty years.” His voice was so pleading, so full of certainty, that I knew I couldn’t be what stood between him and catching up to Caroline.

I took a deep breath.

“Get in,” I said, unlocking the door.

“What?” Kev looked confused. He reached for the keys, “You’re gonna let me --”

I pulled my hand back and pointed to the passenger door. “I’m driving. Get in.”

“Nick, you can’t, you’ve got a wedding you have to be at. Your wedding,” he added, “Which you’ve already missed once.” He waved his hand at the building behind us. “You can’t go running again.”

“We’ll go, we’ll get Caroline, we’ll come back. I won’t miss the wedding if we move fast; we just gotta catch up with her. No way did she get a flight change already. We might even catch up to her before she turns in the rental at the garage,” I pointed out.

He stared at me. “Nick…”

“Kev. C’mon. Get in. And you can tell me what the hell happened on the way.”