Project: nkotBSB

By Dottie

Copyright 2012

Chapter 11

Jessi

I wander around aimlessly, finding my way back to the hotel.  As I let myself into our room, my phone starts buzzing.  I look and see its Nick. I just can’t answer it. Is Donnie right? AM I a groupie out to fuck him?

I sigh and fall onto the bed.  My phone starts vibrating.  Texts from Nick.  “Can I come over?” “Where are u?” “U mad at me?”  Tears start falling.  How can I face him? Then texts start rolling in from Hanna. “On my way!” “Call Nick.” “JESSI WHERE ARE YOU?”

I sigh and stand, grabbing a lightweight jacket. I know when she gets here it’s gonna be bad. I can’t face them all. That bastard Donnie Wahlberg just HAS to be the biggest dick on the planet.  He always has been. Guess he always will be.

I find myself walking down a street filled with coffee shops, pubs and cafés. I slip into a pub and find a dark, secluded corner booth.  I order a glass of wine and brood.  Why do I let that asshole get to me?  Some deep, sinister part of me wants to think he’s jealous but the sad truth is; he didn’t want me when I was 18, why the hell would he want me now?

Just as I’m starting to sip my third glass of wine, I hear the voice I hate most in the world. “We need to talk.”

I watch as he brazenly slides into the booth beside me. “No we don’t Mr. Wahlberg. Your opinion of me is evident.  I do NOT need to talk to you!”

He growls fiercely, “YES, you do need to talk to me! I want to know what the hell happened between us 11 years ago. And I wanna know NOW!”

I sigh deeply.  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He snarls. “Tough, I do.  You’re all hot for Carter, but when I make a pass, I get a cold shoulder.  What the fuck did I do to you that was so reprehensible you hate me with a passion? I know I didn’t rape you.  I’ve never in my life forced a woman if she said no.”

I drain my glass. “No, you didn’t rape me. Happy now? Is your conscious clear?  I TOLD you I don’t want to talk about it. GO AWAY!”

I try to order another glass. He stops me. “Getting drunk isn’t going to help. Come on, let’s take a walk and we’ll both calm down. Then we can talk like adults.”  When I don’t move, he lowers his voice. “Jessi, I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it.”

I feel tears well up in my eyes at his tenderness.  It’s gotta be the wine.  “Then why did you say it?”  I try to sound stern, but even to my own ears, my plea sounds like a frightened little girl wanting to know what she did wrong.

I look away from him. He clears his throat. “I was…jealous. Jessi, all I want is a chance to get to know you and figure out what I did that made you hate me. You won’t even give me that chance.  You just hop in bed with Nick.”

Fuming, I slide around the table and out the other side.  “I did NOT hop in bed with him! And if the truth be told, even if I DID, it’s none of your fucking business!  Leave me alone!”

I turn, finding Nick, Hanna Jo and Alex standing close by.  I close my eyes, willing the floor to swallow me up.  Donnie stands and grabs my arm, spinning me around to face him. “I still want to know what happened between us.”

Before I can open my mouth, Nick pulls me out of the way and grabs Donnie’s shirt in his fists. “You keep your hands off her, Donnie!”

Hanna pulls me back behind Nick and whispers, “Jessi?”

I shake my head furiously, watching everything unfold between Nick and Donnie.  Donnie’s trying to push Nick off him, but Nick won’t let go.  “Carter, back off.  She and I were having a private conversation.”

Nick snarls, “Private? Half the damn bar heard her tell you to leave her alone.”

Donnie glances around, finally able to free himself from Nick’s grip. “Carter, what I have to talk to her about is MY business. NOT yours. So just leave and we’ll finish talking.”

It had to be the wine.  Or maybe the REAL Jessi is ready to take control again. “I don’t WANT to talk to you Donnie!  What happened is over and done with.  I’ll not re-hash it to ease your guilty conscious.  But I will tell you this…if you were half the man Nick is, I might have given you a chance.  I might have laid it all out and gotten past it.  But now I see you’re the same mother fucking prick you were eleven years ago and I thank God I wasn’t good enough for you then!”

I turn and run, mindless of where I’m going.  I hear Hanna yelling for me to stop, but I don’t. I just keep going, tears blinding me. 

When I finally stop, I’m on a dark, semi-deserted street. Smart, Jess, real smart.  Run off, half cocked in a foreign city crying like a little girl.  I sigh and look around.  Pulling out my cell phone, I call Hanna. 

I hear the panic in her voice. “Where are you? Are you ok?”

I sigh. “I don’t know.  I’m in front of a place called The Blarney Stone. Looks like a jewelry store.”

Before I can say anything else, I hear a dark voice behind me. “Well, lookie hear fellas.  A bonnie lass come to brighten our night.”

My body trembles in fear as I turn, seeing three young men eyeing me.  I feel a shiver course through my veins and I whisper, “Hanna Jo…”

Before I can say anything else, one of them grabs my phone, turning it off and dropping it on the ground. “Now now, you wouldn’t want to be talking on that thing when you got all us big, strong Irishmen here for your…attention, would you lass?”

I grimace. “Please, leave me alone.”

Another of them laughs sadistically. “Oh, come now Lass, we aren’t going to hurt you. We just want to have some fun. You can enjoy it too.”  His voice drops. “IF you behave that is.”

I feel my blood freeze. They are going to rape me and kill me.  I send up a silent prayer for AJ to take care of Hanna as they close in. 

One grabs me and pulls me into the alley.  I fight, but they are stronger than me.  One of them chuckles in glee. “You’re such a tiny little thing.  If you don’t hold still you’re gonna get hurt.”  I feel his grip tighten on my arms.  It’s like I can see the bruises forming in my mind.  I keep struggling, managing to kick one of them square in the balls.  He doubles over in agony, falling to the ground.  The same one that was laughing in delight snarls, “You better stop that right now or you really will get hurt.”

I hear my blouse rip and I scream.  One covers my mouth while the other tries to frantically open my jeans.  Scalding tears spill down my face as one of them starts biting at my neck.  I struggle harder.  Suddenly, my head slams against the wall behind me and the world fades around me.  I hear one of them whisper, “Someone’s coming! Let’s go!”

I feel myself sliding down the wall and somewhere in my mind, I hear Hanna Jo screaming at me. Great, now she’s mad at me too.  The last thing I hear before sliding into oblivion is the sweetest voice in the world.  Nick whispering, “I got you, Jessi.”