Project: nkotBSB

By Dottie

Copyright 2014

Chapter 117

Jessi

Well, the weddings went off without a hitch. Married in a lava field.  That’s one for the books.  As I sit with Nick in the long, white stretch limo, my thoughts turn to our honeymoon.  As close as we’ve been, I suddenly feel shy.

Nick takes my hand.  I turn to him and he smiles.  “So…Mrs. Carter…how does it feel to be married to me?”

His question seems rather strange.  “What do you mean Nick? You know this is the happiest moment of my life.”

His smile is guarded and my gut tells me something is wrong.  “Well, my dear, I would be amiss if I didn’t make a full confession…and seeing as how you’re my wife now, whatever I say stays just between us, right?”

I nod slowly. “Nick, what are you talking about?”

He reaches over and slides his fingers across my chest, tracing the neckline of my dress.  “Well, Baby, you know I love you right?  I mean, you believe me when I say I love you wholly and completely and no matter what happened in the past or what happens in the future, that will never change.”

I nod slowly. “I know that Nick.  And I love you just and completely.”

He smiles.  “Baby, I’m depending on that because…well…I sort of fucked up.”

I squeeze his fingers. “What do you mean?”

The car stops.  When the chauffer opens the door, Nick climbs out and reaches for my hand.  When I’m standing beside him, he sweeps me up into his arms and carries me down the dock to our waiting yacht.  I hold on tightly to his shoulders and whisper, “Nick, what’s wrong?”

He sighs.  “We…I…Sweetheart, I’m in debt big time. Up to my ears in it.”

I glance at the yacht and then back to Nick. “But…I don’t understand.”

He crosses the gang plank quickly and nods to the dock hands. They untie the ropes and before Nick can place me on my feet, the engine of the boat roars to life and we’re cruising out to see, sailing into the sunset.  Once my feet are on the deck, I ask him softly, “Nick, tell me what’s going on?”

He pulls me to the bow of the boat before saying, “A few years back, I was in a bad way.  Drinking, drugs, the whole bit. I…got in over my head with gambling and…other disreputable pursuits and…well…I had to be bailed out.  At the time, I thought it was AJ and the guys that did it.  I was told through management everything was sorted out and I didn’t have to worry anymore. I wanted to thank them…for getting me back on track. I talked to my manager this morning…told her I wanted to know who to thank for getting me back on track and giving me back my life.”

A cold shiver runs up my spine.  “Nick, who was it?”

From behind me I hear an ominous sound. A voice that haunted my nightmares.  I turn to find myself face to face with Donnie Wahlberg.  The smirk on his face turns my stomach.  “Now, who do you think saved Nicky Boy from his lecherous past? All that drinking and those drugs led him to make some seriously bad choices.”

I manage to stammer, “Why? Why would you help him?”

He shrugs, sitting across from us with his fingers laced behind his head. “Honestly, I wanted to be back on top. I knew the one way to kick start New Kids would be hooking up with Backstreet.  I approached management about it a few years back.  Seems Backstreet wanted no part of the has-beens.  Then I found out Nicky here was being a VERY naughty boy. Drugs, drinking, gambling, prostitution…Nicky’s vices were severe.  And he was deep in debt with the family.  MY family. So, I called in some markers and had his slate cleaned.” 

I gasp and turn to Nick, my face a mask of hurt and fear.  He looks as sick as I feel and he murmurs, “I’m so sorry Baby. I truly love you with all that I am…but…if this comes out…I could lose everything.”

Donna chuckles wickedly. “That’s right Nicky boy. One wrong move on your part and you will lose everything.”  He turns his sinister gaze to me. “On the other hand…one right move can earn you eternal salvation…and freedom from the family.”

I swallow hard, turning to my husband.  “Nick?”

He looks as if he’s going to vomit. “Jess…oh God forgive me, Jessi, I had to agree! It’s not just me…it’s AJ and Hanna Jo and all the guys. He’ll destroy everyone because of my mistakes. I had to agree to his terms.”

Ignoring Donnie’s gleeful laugh, I murmur, “What did you agree to?”  When he looks out over the dark water, I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces.  “Me?  You…Nick???”

Donnie stands and in two giant strides is standing next to us.  He grabs my arm and hauls me to my feet and against his body. Nick jumps up, ready to defend me.  I see two huge men wearing guns step forward.  Donnie clicks his tongue against his teeth.  “Now, now Nicky. Don’t make the boys hurt you.”

I stare at Nick until Donnie jerks me away, pulling me toward the cabin.  I hear Nick cry out, “Forgive me Jessi…please, for the love of God forgive me. I love you!”

Donnie pulls me through the door and down a small hallway.  He lifts me off my feet and mutters, “He got the wedding, I get the wedding night.”

After he crosses the threshold and slams the door he deposits me on the bed.  I sit up, looking at him fearfully.  He slowly starts to unbutton his shirt. “I told you Jessi…you will be mine. I’m gonna get the taste of you I should have taken years ago. And I’m going to show you how a real man fucks a whore…and that’s all you are…a whore.”

I back away from him, finding myself pressed against the wall. “You’ll have to rape me.”

He laughs. “Won’t be the first time Bitch. Now be a good girl and come here.”

Several days later:

As the boat pulls into the dock, I sit despondently on deck.  The sun is high, the breeze is warm, yet I feel frozen.  Nick sits gently beside me.  “Jessi…Oh Jessi.”

I pull away from him. “Don’t…don’t you dare fucking touch me! How could you agree…let him…damn you Nick he RAPED me!” I feel my voice rise to a hysterical pitch but I can’t control it. “You fucking watched him rape me and you didn’t stop it! Why???  WHY???”

He looks down, tears falling from his eyes.  “Jessi…Baby please forgive me. I shouldn’t have…but the guys…Hanna Jo…he would have ruined them all. I didn’t think…”

I stand up. “No, you fucking didn’t! I don’t care who it hurts Nick…or how long it takes.  I’ll make that bastard pay for what he did to me…and you’ll pay to.  I swear before it’s over you’re gonna wish you had NEVER met me you son of a bitch!”

Epilogue

Six months later and I finally come out of hiding.  I heard it through the grapevine that Ho Jo had given birth.  Even though the Backstreet Boys were no longer a band, the group members still found their way to the spotlight now and again. 

After my honeymoon with Nick, I called Hanna Jo.  I was short and to the point. Nick and I were through.  I was having the marriage annulled and I never wanted to see him again. I didn’t tell her why. I couldn’t.  All I could do was tell her I loved her and when the baby came along, I’d be there.

I look out the window as the plane descends to land in Calgary.  After the very public and very bitter breakup of the group, AJ and Hanna Jo moved to Canada to escape the majority of the limelight.  AJ managed to swing opening a small studio where he worked with up-and-coming Canadian singers.

Hanna Jo was happily making a home for herself and AJ, but I could tell in the little correspondence I had from her through Thad she was confused and hurt. Everything would be coming out soon. I could no longer hide what was done to me…or the part my loving husband had played in it.

I had gone to the police and had everything documented medically.  The bruising, the tearing…all the cuts and marks and broken bones I suffered at the hands of Donnie Wahlberg.  Charges had been filed and the court proceedings were set to take place…as soon as I gave birth to Donnie’s child.

I run my hand over my stomach. I thought I had decided to give the baby up…but over the last two months I realized I couldn’t do it. The baby may have been conceived in a hateful, violent manner…but it was my baby too.  And aside from Hanna Jo, would probably be the only person in the world to love me unconditionally and accept me for the scarred human being that I am.

I hear the ding signaling time to fasten my seatbelt.  As I click the safety harness across my growing abdomen, I think of Hanna Jo and her new baby boy.  She’s happy…and right now, that’s all that matters.