Project: nkotBSB

By Rachel

Copyright 2013

Chapter 50

Hanna Jo

We arrived at the hotel in Adelaide late in the morning. We had the rest of the day off and a concert tomorrow. After a long night’s sleep, I was feeling refreshed. I still had to deal with the previous night’s fiasco.

“You wanna grab some lunch after we freshen up?” AJ asks when we get to our room.

I flop onto the bed trying to get comfortable. “That sounds good. I also need to find Brian and Donnie and apologize.”

“I’ll call them both and let them know you want to talk to them. Go get a hot shower, Hanna Banana.”

Forty-five minutes later AJ and I are eating a quiet lunch at the hotel restaurant. It’s empty, which I am thankful for. There are some things I need to tell AJ. I hope that I am able to get through it without melting down.

“Penny for your thoughts.” He asks quietly. I look up at him, giving a half smile.

“Alex, I need to tell you something about my past.” I place my fork on the table. “It will help you understand what happened last night.”

“Han…”

I interrupt him. “You need to hear this. I want to be honest with you.”

“Go ahead, Hanna. I love you.” AJ takes my hand in his. It calms my nerves.

“The fall of my senior year, I was tired of being controlled by my parents. I wanted to be wild and reckless. Our minister’s son, Luke was the cutest guy at my church. He started paying a lot of attention to me.”

“So you fell for this guy.” AJ interjects. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

I nod trying to stay composed. I shift in my seat to calm my nerves. “My parents were happy that I was being courted by the most upstanding guy in our congregation.”

“Let me guess, he had everyone fooled.” AJ comments. I nod my head.

“One night he convinced me to have him over. My parents and siblings were at some church event. He brought some beers with him. Tired of being my boring self I indulged in a couple of beers. I was a lightweight and got drunk.”  I look away from embarrassment.

“Hanna, it’s normal for teenagers to want to experiment. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ve done far worse than that.”

“Thanks for being so understanding. You’re the first person I’ve ever told. Jessi doesn’t even know.” I take a deep breath. “Luke convinced me to have sex with him. I was so sloshed, I didn’t think twice. Plus all I cared about was spiting my parents.”

I stare out into the lobby where I see Donnie and Jordan signing autographs. I pray that they don’t come in the restaurant. I’m not ready to face Donnie. I turn back toward AJ.

“So there we were in the middle of my living room. We were naked and I was giving him a blow job. My parents came home early and caught us. I was mortified.”

“I take it that your parents weren’t very happy.” AJ comes and sits next to me.

“They were livid. My father said it was all my idea. That…that a nice young man like Luke wouldn’t act that way.  My parents were going to pull me out school and keep me at home. They were going to send me to counseling for sex addiction.” I start to hyperventilate.

AJ pulls me to his chest, and I cry into his shirt. “Shh, Han. It’s okay. Don’t cry.”

“That’s why I ran away from home. I couldn’t face my parents. They thought I was the devil child. I didn’t even wait until I sobered up. I packed my stuff, left a note for my parents, and left. I haven’t been back since.”

“Oh, Hanna. I’m sorry you had to go through that. You made a mistake. It sucks that your parents were so tough on you.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “You are such a strong woman. Hanna you are a good woman.”

“Alex, last night scared me. It brought everything back to the surface, especially after dealing with my aunt.” I reach for my water and take a sip. “Kissing Brian was bad enough because I hurt you. What I did with Donnie made me feel like a cheap whore. Everyone knows about it. How can I face everyone when they think I’m the whore of the tour?” Tears pour down my face.

“Hanna, you are not a whore. You were drunk and made a mistake. Sure, I wasn’t pleased with your actions, but I forgive you.”

Before I have a chance to say anything Donnie walks over to our table. I ask AJ to leave because I can’t talk to Donnie with him there. Once AJ leaves, Donnie sits down across from me.

“Donnie, I…I…I…just want to apologize for what happened last night. My actions were inappropriate. It was never my intention to lead you on.”

“Hanna, I’m just as much to blame. Had I known you were drunk, I would have never let it get that far.” He smiles sheepishly at me. It seems like Donnie is being sincere, so I smile back. “Though I have to say you’re a beautiful woman. I can’t deny that you do things to my body. It has me imagining you in bed. AJ is one lucky son of a bitch.”

I feel my cheek heat up. “I…guess…I…umm…should take that as a compliment.”

“You definitely should Hanna. You are a desirable woman. AJ loves you.” He sits back. I’m still amazed that one guy can ooze that much confidence all the time. I’ve never seen him have an insecure moment.

“Thanks. I love him a lot.” I reply honestly. It’s then that I realize that what AJ and I have is real. If other people can see what I feel, then loving him is the right thing.

“Have you seen Jessi? We’re supposed to meet for lunch.” Donnie states casually. I give him a long, hard, stare. “What’s with the look?”

“Can’t you just leave her alone? Nick and her have something; Jessi doesn’t need you ruining it.” I stand up, ready to leave.

“It’s funny how everyone thinks Nick and Jessi have something special. Personally I don’t see it. The way Jessi looks at me gets my dick hard.” He laughs at his own comment. Donnie disgusts me. He’s nothing but a slime ball. I don’t understand Jessi’s attraction to him.

“All I want is for Jessi to be happy. You will not make her happy.” With that I walk out of the restaurant.

Jessi is waiting outside the restaurant. She is all dolled up for her lunch with Donnie. I hope she doesn’t fall for his charm. I don’t trust him when it comes to Jessi. He trouble with a capital T.

“Hey Ho Jo. Everything okay?” Jessi asks. I know she’s concerned since my eyes are red and puffy.

“Everything is perfect, except for my best friend.” I say. Jessi just looks at me. I don’t even give her a response.

“What did I do?” She looks past me and into the restaurant. I know she spots Donnie.

“You’re having lunch with him?” I say bitingly. “I just can’t believe you choose to spend time with him over Nick. I think you need to stay away from Donnie. It’s not going to help your relationship with Nick.”

“Nick and I aren’t in a relationship yet. We are taking things slow. The funny thing is Nick actually understands and encouraged me to have lunch with Donnie.” She waves to Donnie; then focuses her attention back on me. “Listen, before you go worrying about me, take a look in the mirror.”

Before I have a chance to speak, Jessi walks into the restaurant. I see Donnie place a kiss on her cheek. She smiles and sits down.  What is Jessi thinking? Nothing good can come from this. I can’t believe Nick is okay with Jessi meeting up with Donnie. The worst of it is Jessi’s attitude toward me. I’m just trying to be a good friend. Apparently that doesn’t matter. I’ll keep a distance from her. My focus will be on my relationship with AJ. Life will be easier that way, but Jessi better not expect me to be there to help her pick up the pieces when her heart gets broken.