Project: nkotBSB

By Dottie

Copyright 2013

Chapter 53

Jessi

When I get back to the room I’m sharing with Nick I feel drained.  I shove my lap top, disc still in it, into my suitcase and fall back on the bed.  Between the tequila and the stress, all I want to do is shut the world out and forget I ever even heard of NKOTB.  Or even BSB for that matter.

No, that’s a lie.  I don’t regret meeting Nick.  He and I shared something really special and after everything that happened, he still wants it to be more.  How can it be after what Donnie said he’d do?  If I fuck Donnie, he’ll keep his mouth shut but I’d never be able to look Nick in the eye.  If I don’t fuck Donnie, he’ll turn Nick’s career into a nightmare.  And yet again, I wouldn’t be able to look Nick in the eye.  Am I strong enough to walk away? 

I fall over on the bed and barely hear the door open?  “Jessi?”  Nick’s voice is soft and soothing.  I turn on my side, hoping he’ll just lay and hold me a while. I’m so tired.  I feel the bed dip as he sits by me.  “Jessi, Sweetheart, you ok?”

I mutter, “Fine.  I’m fine.  Tell Ho Jo to butt out.  It’s not her place to tell it.”

My eyes won’t open.  From the daze I hear someone ask, “Tell what?”

I start to panic. “DON’T!  Hanna Jo, don’t tell Nick, he’ll hate me! HANNA JO!”

I feel a strong arm slide over my waist.  I push back firmly against the warm wall of Nick’s chest as he cuddles me close.  I hear his voice whispering from miles away. “I could never hate you Jessi.”

I want to cry.  I want to scream.  I want to sink into the black oblivion that beckons me.  “Nick, I love you.”  Did I say it? Did he hear me?  Nah, it’s just a dream.

When I do wake up, my head is pounding.  The light in the room is very dim.  And I’m alone. I sit up cautiously, trying to figure out what really happened.  I grab my phone.  A couple of texts from Hanna Jo.  Nothing from Nick.  I stretch, trying to get my foggy mind to clear.  Didn’t Nick come back?  I thought I heard him. 

I make a quick run to the bathroom. I brush my teeth and try to make myself look half way presentable for Nick.  Now that the fog of the tequila is gone, I can see what Hanna Jo says makes sense.  I can’t give in to Donnie’s demands.  I move back into the room and over to my suitcase.  I need clothes I haven’t slept in.  I need to show Nick I am a real woman…not a cowering bitch.

When I open the suitcase a jolt of alarm passes through me.  I know I was drunk, but I distinctly remember putting my laptop in here.  I rifle through my clothes.  Not here.  I look around the room in a panic.  When I see it sitting on the table, my heart plummets.  Oh no! He was here…Oh my God, I left the disc in the computer!  Did he see it? 

I slowly pick up my laptop letting the tears fall.  Why didn’t I take it out?  WHY?  I slide the computer into my bag and glance around the room again.  I see the traces of him now.  His white shirt hanging over the back of the chair.  I smell his cologne when I sink back down onto the bed.  Nick, Nick, I’m sorry!

I swipe my hand across my face, brushing away the tears.  I’m sick and tired of these fucking Wahlberg’s and their perverse games.  Now that Nick is gone, I have nothing to lose.  I have nothing. 

I grab my phone and call Thad.  He answers after seven rings.  “Jessi, how are you?”

I practically growl into the phone.  “I’m fucking fed up with the Wahlberg family.  They cost me EVERYTHING!”

I hear the concern in his voice.  “What happened Jessi?”

I let the anger fuel my tirade as I pack all my stuff into my suitcase.  “What happened?  Well, let’s see, your guy Wesley was working for Paul, so after he WALKED he came to Australia and tried to rape me.  Then, after I was saved by Paul’s BROTHER Donnie, he started blackmailing me with surveillance tapes from the bank he got from Paul. HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET THOSE TAPES THAD?”

Thad raises his voice.  “Whoa!!  Jessi, calm down.  Let’s go through this one step at a time.  First, what about Wesley?”

I groan.  “He works for Paul.  After the trial…after Wesley left here, he came back.  With Paul in tow.  Paul was going to rape me AND Hanna Jo.  If Donnie hadn’t shown up…”

Thad’s fury is evident.  “Jessi, I swear to God…”

I cut him off.  “Thad, I know you didn’t know.”

His voice is lower when he asks.  “You said Donnie has tapes he’s blackmailing you with?  What tapes? What does he want?”

I sniffle, falling back on the bed.  “He has the security tapes from the bank.  When Paul was in my office.  He wants the same thing Paul wanted.  ME!  Thad, if I don’t…he’ll ruin Nick’s career by telling the world what I am…what I did.”

Thad’s forceful reply surprises.  “STOP!  You are NOT the bad guy here.  You did what you had to do to survive.  Now that we know Donnie’s true nature…Jessi, I’ll get him.  I swear they’ll both go to jail…if you agree to help me.”

I chew on my lip.  I can’t stay here.  I have nothing to stay for.  “What do you want me to do?”

I hear the sadness in his voice. “I don’t know yet.  I need to think.” He pauses briefly.  “What about you?  Will you stay there?”

Tears fall freely from my eyes. “No.  Nick is gone.  Hanna Jo is happy with AJ.  I’m…there’s nothing for me here.  I want to come home.”

I hear the concern in his voice.  “I’ll make arrangements.  Jessi…I’m not going to let them hurt you.”

I sit up, reaching for Nick’s shirt from the chair.  I put it to my face and whisper, “I don’t matter.  Don’t let them hurt Nick.”