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Project: nkotBSB

By Dottie

Copyright 2013

 

Chapter 67

 

Jessi

 

Nick pulls me through the arena and out onto the stage.  For such a big building, it’s almost completely silent.  In the center of the stage, a red and white checked blanket is spread out.  On it are two pillows, a picnic basket, an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne in it, and two delicate crystal champagne flutes sitting close by.

 

I’m startled when Nick says, “Thanks guys, we’ll be ok for a while. Take a break.”

 

When they walk away, I look up at Nick.  “I thought you said they’d be going everywhere we are.”

 

He nods, leading me to the blanket.  “I did.  But, the New Kids are going to do some kind of radio show and TV spot today, plus some kind of personal appearance.  They’re going to be gone most of the afternoon.  We’re safe.”

 

I sigh, sitting down, pulling my knees up to my chin.  “I’m sorry Nick. I’ve brought so many problems to your life.”

 

He sits by me, leaning on one of the pillows, resting his head on his hand. “Jessi, would you please stop blaming yourself?  None of this is your fault.  And when the tour is over, I’m going to take you to my house and we’re going to hide for a few months and really get to know each other.”

I bite my lip, turning away from him.  Hide.  He is ashamed of me.  I jump to my feet and run.  I hear him scrambling to his feet.  “Jessi, STOP!”

 

I don’t get very far.  With those long legs of his, he catches me before I get backstage.  Grabbing my waist, he pulls me back against his body.  “What? What did I say wrong? Why are you crying?”

 

I struggle to free myself. “Let me go!”  When he does, I don’t look at him.  I stand, facing away, fighting the urge to drop to the ground and curl into a fetal position.  I manage to stammer, “I…don’t…want…to…go…with…you.”

 

You could hear a pin drop in the giant arena.  His whispered plea breaks my heart.  “What do you mean?  Jessi…I love you. I just…want to be with you.”

 

I lower my head.  “I love you too.”  I hope he can hear me. My voice is barely audible to my own ears.  “I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done.  I don’t blame you for being ashamed of me too.”

 

I hear him sigh, then his hands gently grab my shoulders and he forces me to turn around.  “Open your eyes, Jessi.”  When I do, he takes my hands and drops to his knees in front of me.  “Baby, I’m not ashamed of you and I’m not planning on hiding with you because of that.  I’m SO SORRY you felt like I was ashamed of you. I’m not. It was just a bad way of me saying I want you all to myself.”

 

I bite my lip, feeling foolish.  Relieved but foolish.  He raises one of my hands and kisses it gently.  I manage to whisper, “I’m sorry…I just…I’m so ashamed, I don’t know why you aren’t ashamed of me.”

 

He lays his head on my stomach, wrapping his arms around my thighs. “Jessi, Jessi, you didn’t do anything wrong!  You did what you had to in order to survive.  You have nothing to feel guilty about.”

 

I lean down and kiss the top of his head.  “I’d like to hide with you Nick.”

 

He looks up at me.  “And we will.  I promise.”  I smile timidly and he whispers, “We’re good now?”

 

I cup his face with my hands. “We’re good.  Let’s eat.”

He leads me back to the blanket and we sit together.  Leaning close to me, he kisses me softly.  “How could I be ashamed of you?  You’re perfect.”

 

I know I’m not perfect, but his words are coming from his heart.  He thinks I’m perfect.  He loves me for me, in spite of everything I’ve done.  I slide closer to him, pushing myself into his arms.  

 

 

After lunch, I go to the bus and Nick heads for his afternoon of press conferences and appearances.  I called Hanna Jo but she wasn’t feeling up to company.  I know all the crap with her mom and fighting with AJ has taken its toll.  So, here I am, reading a cheesy romance novel, trying to kill a couple of hours.

 

Next thing I know, someone is shaking my shoulder, whispering, “Come on, wake up.”

 

I almost scream when I open my eyes and Donnie is standing there. I try to move away from him, but he grabs my arm.  “Stop it! I just want to talk for now, so simmer down.”

 

I stop moving and eye him suspiciously. “How did you get on this bus?”

 

His smug attitude sickens me.  “Well, you beloved thinks I’m off with the guys for the day, when actually, we all have the day off.  No press, no appearances, just free time to do as we please.”

 

I tremble with fear. “Why won’t you leave me alone?”

 

He strokes my cheek with his finger, causing me to shrink back away from him. He grimaces.  “You know why.  You owe me something.  Once I collect, you’ll never hear from me again.”

 

With genuine curiosity, I ask, “Why would you want to rape me, Donnie?”

 

His teeth clench.  “It will not be rape. You WILL say yes!”

 

I try begging.  “Donnie, it will be rape because I don’t want you!  I don’t want you to touch me.  Covering it up with blackmail doesn’t make it any less forced.  Why won’t you leave me alone?”

 

He steps back, letting go of me as if I’m on fire.  “It’s not rape!  It’s not!”

 

He turns and leaves.  I slump back, fighting the urge to laugh hysterically.  I need to calm down.  I need to get it together before Nick comes back.

 

Just as I’ve gotten my breathing under control, my phone rings.  My heart sinks when I see it’s Donnie.  I ignore it and he leaves a voicemail.  When I hear it, I get a chill straight through to the bone.

 

“Jessi.  I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work.  By the time these ten days is up, you’ll beg me to fuck you and what’s more, you’re going to enjoy it. You and Hanna Jo had a preview by the pool the other night.  Yes, I knew you were there.  Those two sluts were poor fucking substitutes. I closed my eyes and imagined you sucking me off.   I want to see your lips wrapped around my cock.  I want to see your ass when I fuck you doggy style.  And I want to see your eyes when I cum inside you.  You know why?  You’re SUPPOSED to be mine!  We knew it eleven years ago, we know it now.  You WILL be mine.  Or Nick will be ruined.  Don’t fuck with me, Jessi.  I don’t play games. Keep trying to play them and your precious Carter will WATCH me fuck you…right before I kill him!”