Project: nkotBSB

By Rachel

Copyright 2013

Chapter 80

Hanna Jo

My conversation with Nick was interesting. I think I scared the poor guy. I went and let my emotions get in the way. Why am I such a basket case? After Nick meanders his way to Jessi; AJ keeps a safe distance from me. He’s busy writing in a notebook. I’m still mad at him, so I stay away. I open my book and attempt to read.

Finally our flight is called. I walk behind my friends not wanting to talk. I put my bag in the overhead compartment. “Nick would it…umm…be…umm…okay if I sat by Jessi for a while?” There’s no way I can sit by AJ.

“Sure. You want me to knock some sense into AJ. He occasionally needs a good kick in the ass.” Nick smiles down at me.

“That’s nice of you to offer, but…”I say before AJ interrupts, by hand me a folded up sheet of paper. I put it in my pocket and take a seat next to Jessi.

We sit quietly for a while. I know Jessi is waiting for me to spill my side of the story. I don’t even know what AJ told her. I’m sure it wasn’t anything good about me. I fiddle with the paper in my pocket, but I don’t take it out. I’m not ready to see what AJ gave me.

“Ho Jo, I can’t take the silence anymore. Talk to me.” Jessi says quietly coaxing me out of my haze.

“I’m so sorry, Jessi. I didn’t mean to ignore you.”

“I’m going to be blunt with you. What’s up with you and AJ?” Jessi turns to look at me.

“Nothing.” I reply curtly. This is the one thing I don’t want to talk about.

“Oh no, Hanna. You might be able to play that game with Big Mac, but I’m your best friend. Now tell me what’s wrong.” I can see the Jessi is not happy with me. That doesn’t mean I’m going to budge. She is staring me down and I don’t like it one bit.

“Geesh, Jessi. I thought you of all people would understand, but I guess I was wrong. Did AJ put you up to this?” I glare at my friend.

“AJ didn’t put me up to anything. Sorry, I’m concerned about my best friend. With this attitude you’re going to lose a good thing.”  Jessi looked over at AJ. He was slumped down in his seat listening to music.

“I forgot I’m not supposed to be in a bad mood. I’m only allowed to be happy go lucky Hanna Jo Rogers.  Everyone else can be pissed off except me.” I unbuckle my seat belt and get up.

“Hanna wait.” Jessi grabs my hand to stop me.

I pull my hand away and find an empty seat. I flop down, wishing everyone would leave me alone. Closing my eyes, I wish that everything would just go away. Poof, it never happened. I was a fool to think that this was more than just sex. Maybe my parents were right about sex. What was I thinking? I just don’t know anymore.

A few hours went by, and I didn’t feel any better. My eyes are closed, so everyone would think I was asleep. I can feel someone sit down next to me.

“Hanna.” Nick says softly. “Are you okay?”

“Not you, too.” I grumble.

“You were just muttering to yourself. I was worried.” He leans back into the chair.

“I’m fine Nick. Go make out with Jessi.” I pull my blanket up around my neck.

Nick leans his head next to mine. “We don’t have to talk about them. We can talk about other things.”

“Like what?” I ask curiously.

“The weather.” He chuckles. For the first time I feel somewhat relaxed.

“Nick, that is like a five second conversation. Isn’t there anything more interesting to talk about?”

He starts telling me funny stories about the guys making sure not to mention AJ. I think it’s sweet of him to do that. Nick has me in stitches by the fourth story. Nick and Brian got themselves into a lot of trouble over the years.

“Nick, thanks for not badgering me about what was wrong. I appreciate it.”  I say sincerely.

“Anytime. Sometimes you got to wait until you’re ready.”

I look out the window, trying to figure out what I want to say. Maybe Nick can help me. I decide to bite the bullet and tell Nick what’s bothering me. Well part of it; the other part I’m not sure of yet. “Nick, how do you keep the spark in your relationship?”

“I’m assuming you don’t mean sex. Cause, I hear your sex life is pretty damn good.” He chuckles as I blush.

I swat him in the arm. “Yeah, let’s not go there. Seriously, though how do keep things alive when you’re not having….umm…you know.”

“Well, I like to do little things for Jessi. Like I know she loves chocolate covered cherries, so I’ll surprise her with a box of them. When I leave to go to the venue, I’ll write her a love note. Sometimes I’ll surprise her with a single rose.” Nick explains.

“No wonder Jessi loves you. You care about her so much. You remember the little things. She’s a lucky woman.” I sigh dramatically.

“And you’re telling AJ isn’t the same way with you.” Nick sits up straighter.

“Well, he does nice things for me, but I don’t know if it’s romantic or not. He’s never given me flowers or wrote me a love letter. Maybe all we have going is sex.” I comment sadly.

“Did you talk to him about it? Cause, I think he’s the one who needs to know how you feel. Relationships are a two way street. You’ve got to be honest with him. He can’t fix it if he doesn’t know it’s broke.” Nick pauses. “Don’t let your own insecurities about relationships ruin what is truly something special between you and AJ. Talking to me or Jessi helps, but it’s not going to repair what is broken with AJ.”

“Thanks Nick. You gave me a lot to think about. Like I said before, Jessi’s lucky to have a man like you.” I reach over and hug him.

“No, I’m lucky to have Jessi in my life.” He gets up and finds his way to Jessi.

I take the crumbled piece of paper from my pocket. I start to open it, but I chicken out. I’ll read it after I take a nap. My mind and body are exhausted from all these emotions. I curl up in my blanket falling into a deep sleep.