Project: nkotBSB

By Rachel

Copyright 2014

Chapter 88

Hanna Jo

I lie down on the bed and shut my eyes. I am all cried out.  With my eyes close I place my hands on my flat stomach. In a few months it won’t look the same. I won’t be the same. I don’t really care about how I’ll look; there are more important things to worry about. Everything is going to be different.

When I feel movement on the bed next to me, I realize that AJ here. Now I have to face him. I thought I locked the door, but I guess in my emotional fury I couldn’t even do that right.  I have nothing to say to him. That wasn’t true; I didn’t know what to say. Nothing seems right.

He gently removes my hands from my stomach, and replaces them with his. Gently he starts to rub my belly. I bite my lip so I won’t start to cry. Neither of us say a word, we just lie there quietly. It’s unnerving and calming at the same time.

AJ bites the bullet and speaks first. “We’re having a baby.” He whispers in my ear.  I notice AJ says we and that makes me feel somewhat better about the situation. I’m still scared about the whole thing.

“We are.” I reply in monotone. I’m not sure what he wants me to say.

“Aren’t you happy about this?” AJ turns on his side and looks at me.

The look in his eyes isn’t the one I thought I would see. Instead all I see is love. Did I judge him wrong? Maybe my own fear and trepidation is being projected onto AJ. I’m not going to lie, I’m scared. I have AJ, but I feel so alone.

I force myself to speak, “I’m scared.” My body starts to shake. 

AJ pulls my body to his. I attempt to calm down and within a few minutes the trembling stops. He places his lips against my temple. “Sweetheart, it’s okay to be scared.”

“Alex are you scared?” I bite my lip waiting for his response. For some reason I’m afraid of his response. I didn’t know how I wanted him to answer.

“I’m just as scared as you are.” My body tightens as I start to tremble again. “Hanna, baby, please don’t cry. It kills me to see you in tears.”

“You….you…don’t…want…this…..baby.” I blubber. My relationship with AJ was too good to be true. Things weren’t meant to last between us.

“Don’t put words in my mouth. I never said that.” He says in frustration. “I’m scared just like you are. I never expected to become a dad so soon. Earlier, I told you that I see us with a houseful of kids. Being scared is different from not wanting a kid.”

I wipe my eyes on my shirt. I take a few breaths and regain control of myself. “But you don’t seem happy about it.”

“Neither do you.” AJ remarks with a bite.

Grabbing the pillow from behind me, I swat AJ with it. He jumps off the bed. By the look on his face I can tell that he is pissed at me. He walks to the door and stops.

“What the fuck is your problem?” He exclaims.

“You just don’t get it.” I snap at him. If he’s going to be mean to me, I’m going to give it right back to him.

“The only thing I get is you’re being a bitch.”

“You don’t get it. I wasn’t brought up the way I’ve been living. My parents basically think I’m a slut. What are they going to say when they find out I’m pregnant?”  I’m frustrated with AJ. He doesn’t understand that this isn’t easy for me.

“You’re right, I don’t get it. All I know is your parents have warped your mind. You’re twenty five fucking years old. Who the hell cares what your parents think? You ran away from home to get away from their asinine rules, but yet you still care about what they think. It’s time to put your big girl panties on and grow up.”  AJ raises his voice. Sure we have fought, but I have never heard him be so cruel.

“Get out!” I say quietly. AJ turns to leave. I crawl onto the bed and curl up in a ball.

AJ grabs the phone off the table on the balcony. He looks for the number and presses send.

“Hello, Hanna. I can’t believe you would hang up on your parents. That is childish behavior for an adult.” Edna Rogers replies coldly.

“Mrs. Rogers, I was the one who hung up the phone. How dare you speak to your daughter like that?”

“That is no way to talk to your elder, Mr. McLean. I guess celebrities don’t need to worry about their manners. I know all about sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. Believe me it horrifies me to see my daughter with a man like you.” She says maliciously.

“I mean no disrespect to you ma’am.  Whatever you think about me doesn’t matter. How you treat your daughter does concern me. I love your daughter with all my being. She’s my life.”  AJ holds in his temper. He wants to rip Mrs. Rogers a new one, but his mom taught him to be respectful.

“My relationship with Hanna is none of your concern. In all honestly, once Hanna comes to her senses, she will find herself a proper gentleman.”

“Hanna and I love each other. I plan on spending the rest of my life with her. She means everything to me. She’s the reason I wake up in morning. Hanna is a beautiful, caring, intelligent woman. She’ll help anyone at the drop of the hat. So help me God, if treat her that way again, you will never hear from her again. I will not let Hanna be a part of your family. She has a wonderful family with Backstreet.” AJ ends the call with Mrs. Rogers.

He goes back inside to make amends. Even though things are stressful at the moment, AJ know things are working out the way they are supposed for them.