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‘’Later, much later, he would say it was the fierce pain in his right leg that made him go, although it didn’t make much sense at that time. Later, much later, he would say it had been a warning, a foreboding cry for help.’’



I sigh a deep sigh. An old man sigh. Darn, I am getting old. I have been standing in front of the elevator for a while, staring holes into the sign that is pretty much ruining my motivation.

Out of order

Taking eight floors worth of stairs is not on my wish-list this morning. I shake my head in frustration, muttering curses under my breath. Why does this always happen?

“Well, at least I tried,” I hear him before I see him. Turning around, I notice him staring at the sign as well. Weird, I haven’t even noticed him coming into the building.

“I suppose we could take the stairs,” I grumble. Brian gives me the I-am-tired-of-your-shit-Nick look and turns himself, and the wheelchair he is sitting in, around.

“This is just classic,” he mumbles, aimlessly wheeling around the lobby. “It’s like the universe telling me I shouldn’t have come.”

I try hard not to stare at him as he rolls behind a decorative lobby plant, then spins around and comes back my way. After everything that happened, he still can’t stay still. Kevin has already told me that it was kind of amazing how agile Brian has become with that chair, and seeing it for myself now, I have no doubt that Brian would be able to keep up with us even if he is in a wheelchair.

It gives me the tiniest bit of hope.

“Oh come on,” I drawl, deciding against the option of following my older friend around and instead plump down on the soft sofa in the middle of the lobby. “I’ll carry you, it’ll be fun.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Brian answers sternly from the other side of the room.

He’s not heavy,” I begin to sing in an annoying tone; “he’s my brother.

Brian looks at me as if he wants to strangle me, then shakes his head, “I am not your brother, Nick.”

I give him a mock look of hurt, gasping in shock, “What?”

“I am your father,” he grins, the robotic, gravelly tone in his voice executed just well enough. I laugh.

The reference never gets old to me. Glad that the strange tension is broken between us, I crane my neck to look at him as he speeds over the clean tiles like it’s nobody’s business. “Where is everybody?” he asks.

“It doesn’t officially start for another twenty
minutes,” I supply. “You know how everybody is usually right on time?”

“Yet you’re here,” he counters, not bothering to look at me as he flies right past me. It was fun to see at first, but now he’s kind of making me dizzy.

“Yeah, right back at ya,” I mutter and sigh as I sink deeper into the sofa. Another twenty minutes of watching Brian race around the lobby seems like an eternity. I remember the strange anxiety I woke up with this morning. I wouldn’t have been able to be late even if I wanted to. I blink lazily as my eyes follow Brian, who is going faster and faster for no apparent reason other than boredom.

“She’s pregnant,” I blurt out before I can stop myself, and watch as Brian grabs the wheels of his chair and comes to an abrupt and impressive halt a few feet away from me.

“W-what?” he says. His words are less impressive than his actions, apparently.

“She’s pregnant,” I repeat more quiet and see Brian trying to process the little bit of information that was given.

“Lauren?” he asks a bit redundantly.

“Yes,” I reply, nodding for emphasis, “My wife. Is pregnant. From me,” I add as an afterthought.

Brian doesn’t laugh. Instead I watch him bite his lip in concentration and he looks at me sternly. “Well... were you trying to...?”

“No!” I say a little too loud, “I mean... I don’t think so. We were using condoms and everything.” I scrunch up my nose, realizing I sounded like a washed up teenager.
“Those things do break once in a while,” Brian mutters more to himself than to anyone else. “What are you gonna do?”

“Lauren says I’ve already done enough for now,” I reply, slumping further into the couch. I sound like a little kid, how am I ever supposed to raise a little kid?

“When’d you find out?” Brian keeps firing at me, but I’m beginning to distinguish a certain eagerness in his questions.

“About a week ago. I haven’t told anyone yet. Well... except you right now.”

Brian nods, lost in thought; his usually busy hands lying still on the blanket that covers his legs. Not for the first time, the thought strikes me that he looks so much older than I can remember. Maybe that’s because he’s in a wheelchair, but something in his face just makes it all the more real. It is kind of frightening. After a long moment of silence he looks up with a sad smile, “Well,” he drawls, “Let me be the first one to congratulate you then.”

I look back at him uncertainly, “But what am I gonna do?”

Brian’s smile grows a little brighter, “You don’t have to do anything. You’re gonna be a dad whether you like it or not.”

“But I’m not ready to have a kid!” I state, “I am a kid!”

“You’re thirty-five, Nick,” Brian says monotonously, “You’ll figure it out.”

His lack of worry for my situation puts me at ease, but scares me a little at the same time. The old Brian would have jumped up and said that I had been irresponsible; whether that was true or not. I had expected the new Brian to do so too, well... apart from the jumping up, of course. There was something in his attitude that I couldn’t really figure out, but I knew it was on the tip of my tongue. I’m left there in confusion as Brian turns around and starts racing around again. This time, I don’t think he’s doing it out of boredom.