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Don’t Be So Blue


Nobody could figure out what was causing it. People all over the school were turning blue. Their hair, their hands, their tongues, their faces, and some unlucky ones were blue head-to-toe after taking showers. Students wandered the corridors the same hue as if they were Smurfs. Classes were cancelled as the Professors tried to work out exactly what had happened and all the students were ushered into the Great Hall to sit divided into their Houses to clear the school for a proper search for the origin of the mysterious color.

“Lily looks quite lovely all blue, doesn’t she?” asked James, who had washed his hands so he wouldn’t stand out, but refused to allow his hair to go blue, afraid it might not turn back. He was sitting on the bench, looking at Evans down the table. Lily had washed her face and hands before she’d realized what was going on and the result was a blue face with her usual pink ears and long red hair.

Peter’s usually blonde hair was ultramarine, as was Remus and Sirius’s - all three had taken full showers to avoid detection.

“Notice Snape’s not blue at all,” Peter pointed out across the hall.

“Of course he isn’t,” Sirius said, “Snivellus never showers.”

Remus shook his head, looking up at the ceiling. “It was a nice touch - that banner,” he said, to change the topic from Severus Snape.

Sirius grinned, “Why thank you.”

After setting the spell to make all of the water turn people’s skin blue on contact on the pipes of Hogwarts, the boys had gone back to bed - except Sirius, who hadn’t been able to sleep with his excitement at the brilliant prank they’d set, and he’d snuck through the school with James’s invisibility cloak to set a banner up in the rafters over the faculty table. It simply said -- DON’T BE SO BLUE in exactly the same shade of ultramarine as everyone in the school was turning.

There was a good deal of talk and laughter in the Great Hall, though, marking the boys’ work as a success. Sirius grinned around, taking in the looks on people’s faces as they teased one another and took wizarding photographs to commemorate the day they all had turned blue. A couple of the more stuck-up girls were panicking or sobbing - like Annalee McKinnon down the bench, for starters, which honestly was just as hilarious as the students who were sitting about making jokes about being Grindylows and Dragons. Sirius felt a good deal of pride at the noise that filled the Great Hall.

“This is going to be legendary,” he said to the other three, “The story of this will be passed down generations of Hogwarts students.”

And then the most legendary thing of all happened.

“Oh Merlin’s beard! Look at that.” Remus covered his mouth in shock.

They all looked up at the front of the room, where Remus was looking with wide eyes. Dumbledore had come and he was standing up at the podium at the front of the room, completely blue. He’d even gotten festive with it and donned blue robes for the occasion. Even his beard was blue! And there he stood at the gold podium, directly beneath the banner Sirius had hung, a big grin of amusement on his face.

“Well, well, well,” Dumbledore said, voice magically magnified throughout the Great Hall, making everyone turn to look at him. Several loud shrieks of laughter and guffaws and a good deal of chuckling vibrated through the Hall.

“We’ve turned the Headmaster blue,” hissed Peter.

“Blimey I wish McGonagall were here,” whispered Sirius, “I’d do anything to see her turned blue.”

James cackled, “And Slughorn.”

“He’d look like a blueberry!” said Peter.

“Shh,” said Remus, pointing to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore grinned about at everyone as the laughter in the Great Hall slowly quieted so he could speak, and he looked up at the banner hanging over his head, and said, “Seems we’ve been sabotaged by some pranksters!”

Sirius and James snickered.

“Or, perhaps, some --” Dumbledore cleared his throat, “Marauders.”

They stopped snickering.

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled as he looked their direction for a moment and the corner of his mouth quirked up a teensy bit.

Remus covered his face with his hands.

Dumbledore’s stare hadn’t been long nor hard enough to make anyone else look their way. He continued on with his speech, “Professors Flitwick and McGonagall are working on reversing the spell set on the plumbing together and Professor Slughorn is brewing up an antidote to return us all to our natural shades. Until these remedies are completed, I recommend taking up the advice of our troublemakers -” he pointed up at the banner, “Have some laughs at your own expenses. Classes for the rest of the day are cancelled, but will resume tomorrow - blue or not.”

As Dumbledore stepped away from the podium, the four boys met one another’s eyes. “We’re doomed,” Peter catastrophized. “Expulsion for sure.”

“We don’t know he knows it’s us, though,” said Sirius. “After all, how would he know that’s what we go by? Does anyone know that’s what we go by?”

As though to answer the question, Frank Longbottom suddenly leaned in by them, “Is it true? Is it you four that’s done it?”

James blinked up at him, trying desperately to appear innocent, “What? What makes you think that?” he asked.

“The Marauders,” whispered Frank. “That’s what you lot call yourselves, isn’t it?”

Remus put his forehead down on the table in exasperation.

“Whyever would we?” persisted James.

Frank said, “I’ve heard you shouting it from your dormitory before.”

“Bloody hell, are we that loud?” Sirius asked.

“You are,” answered Remus, voice muffled from the table.

Frank grinned ‘round at them, “It’s brilliant either way.” He looked at his own blue skin and laughed brightly, “Everyone’s saying so. Whatever you did -- it was brilliant. I haven’t seen such grand pranking since the time Weasley set Mrs. Norris on fire with the Filibusters!”

Sirius asked, “Really?”

“Yeah!” Frank nodded, “Magnificent. Good job, guys.” He turned and went to join Andy Woodhouse on the bench.

Sirius looked ‘round, “Hear that? We’re magnificent.”

Remus lightly banged his head on the wood.

There was a throat clearing sound from behind Sirius and James then and Peter’s eyes went round. James looked over his shoulder and immediately choked on the pumpkin juice he’d just taken a sip of. Professor McGonagall stood behind them, blue as blue could be. “A word, gentlemen?” she requested.




They walked up to McGonagall’s office in a little procession. Remus was the most nervous, Sirius and James both sort of swaggered along, their chins held high and taking on the looks of blue students they passed by with pride. Peter scurried along, nervously tapping his fingertips together, twitching the entire way. When they reached McGonagall’s office, she magicked another two chairs before her desk so all four of them could have a seat and she set herself down with a heavy sigh, looking ‘round at them.

“Now. May I see your wands?” she asked crisply.

“Our - our wands?” stammered Remus nervously, his hand instinctively going protectively to his wand pocket.

“Yes, Mr. Lupin,” McGonagall said. She held out her hand, “Your wands.”

They each uncertainly drew their wands. Remus had heard stories of students who’d been expelled having their wands snapped by the faculty of Hogwarts and he felt sick as he released his wand into Professor McGonagall’s palm. Was that what was about to happen? Were they being expelled? He held his breath as her fingers closed around the wands and she stood up. He followed her with his eyes. Perhaps she was about to toss them in the fire? He worried.

But McGonagall was not snapping or burning their wands. She paused in the center of the room, where there was a squat, empty table and she selected Sirius’s wand first, placing it down on the table top and withdrawing her own wand. “Priori incantantum,” she announced, tapping her wand to Sirius’s.

A ghost of the great banner down in the Great Hall erupted from the end of the wand… followed by whispers of alohamora and the charms he’d used to get over the chasms in the Trophy Room passageway… and then a ghost of the sink from the prefect’s toilet they’d broken into the night before to set the spell.

“Just as I suspected,” mumbled McGonagall.

Sirius was quite red.

She lifted up his wand and replaced it with James’s, repeating the process. James’s wand immediately erupted in the smoky memory of the bathroom sink. McGonagall nodded, then repeated the process with both Remus and Peter’s wands as well. When she’d finished going through all four of them, she sighed and turned back, carrying the wands to her desk and laying them there. She stared at the four boys before her with an unreadable expression.

“And what do you have to say for yourselves?” she asked.

Even in the gravity of the situation, Sirius was having a very hard go of it not laughing. Seeing McGonagall’s stern face cast in cyan was quite hard not to be amused by. She was just so serious looking - and just so… blue...

“It’s just that everyone’s been so sad lately,” explained James, “We thought --”

“It was my idea Professor,” Sirius said, “I sort of forced the others to do it. They didn’t want to. If any of us are being expelled, it should be me.”

“And me,” James added, “I helped him find the spell to do it. Remus and Peter both were trying to talk us out of it, but -- we’re very persuasive.”

“I don’t recall seeing an imperius spell come from either of your wands,” McGonagall replied.

“An imperius --- no of course not!” Sirius said, “We didn’t imperius anybody…”

McGonagall said, “Well, then, Remus and Peter both acted of their own free will, then.”

Sirius looked like he was about to argue, but Remus spoke up, “Yeah, we did. We could’ve said no if we’d wanted to, but we didn’t.” He looked at James and Sirius solemnly.

James looked up at McGonagall, “You can’t send us home. Please don’t expell us.”

McGonagall raised her eyebrows.

“I, for one, wouldn’t have anyplace to go. Mum and Dad are at St. Mungo’s with the Dragon Pox like the news said, and Sirius’s folks are evil! You can’t send us home. Please, Professor.”

“I’m not - you aren’t being expelled. You’re being punished, yes, but not expelled.”

“So you aren’t going to snap our wands then?” Remus asked with relief.

“No, Mr. Lupin, I’m not going to snap your wands.”

Remus breathed a sigh of relief.

“However, you will be made to help with the repairing of the damages you’ve done. You’ll be helping Professor Slughorn in preparing enough of the antidote for the blue skin as to provide the entire school with enough to reverse the effects of the spell. In addition to that, you’ll be helping Mr. Filch by cleaning the prefect’s toilets - all four of houses’ prefect’s toilets - three times a week for two weeks. Without using magic.”

All four of them groaned.