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Of Biceps and Birthdays


That evening, Remus sat on the couch, reading his History of Magic text alone. He’d been supposed to study with Lily, but she’d run off to go see Snape somewhere in the castle after, which she’d told him in a breathless sort of tone. “I thought you and Severus weren’t getting along?” Remus asked, disappointed because he’d been looking forward to studying with Lily.

“Not getting along with Severus?” Lily laughed, “How could I not get along with him? One look into those eyes of his…” she sighed dreamily.

Remus raised his eyebrow, “Since when are you so infatuated with him?”

“Are you the only one allowed to have a crush on a boy, then?” Lily snapped lowly.

Remus had looked at her, hurt she’d use it against him like that, and shook his head, “Just go. I’ll study on my own, then.” So she’d gone, and he’d sank down into the couch, his face flushed, and tried to push Lily’s oddness out of his mind.

Sirius came down the stairs then, and, spotting Remus on the couch, he went over and flung himself down so that his legs were up on the back of the cushions at an angle and his head was on Remus’s lap. He grinned up at Remus, angling himself so he was pressed close to his mate, looking up at him under the bottom edge of the book he was reading. Sirius grinned up at him and opened a catalog he had been carrying.

Remus felt a lump rise up in his throat. Sirius’s hair flopped over his legs and the weight of his head was pressing against his thigh. He felt hot and cold all at once. He cleared his throat, desperately trying to rid the pressure that was building up, and his voice came out a bit squeakier than usual. “What’re you reading there?” he asked, looking at the catalog.

“Weights,” Sirius explained. “For exercise.” He flapped the catalog at Remus. There were pictures of guys with big upper arms and chiseled abs all over the page, holding up dumbbells and hand-weights, wincing with the effort of it. Sirius explained, “I want to work up my biceps, for quidditch. The better my upper arm strength is, the harder I’ll be able to hit the bludger!”

Remus looked Sirius over. He was wearing a tank top and a pair of red sweatpants, his dirty socks only half on one foot, dangling over the back of the couch. “I think your arms are brilliant the way they are,” he said.

Sirius laughed, “Oh Moony,” he said. He turned the catalog back to face him, “They’re scrawny.”

“They’re not,” Remus said, “Mine are scrawny. You’ve got… I dunno, you’ve got muscles under there…” he blushed.

Sirius snorted. “Way down under there. Under all the pointless excess flesh.” He studied the page of the catalog a moment. “See, lookie here, is set is specially designed for beaters looking to improve upper arm strength. They’re shaped like bludgers!” He held the page up for Remus to see again. “I need these. If only I had the money.”

“What do you need?” James asked, appearing suddenly and sitting down on the other side of Sirius on the couch. Sirius turned the catalog to James, who laughed. “You were serious about that?”

“Well look, these ones are specially made just for beaters,” Sirius said, and he turned the catalog back to face himself.

Peter came downstairs next and he sat on the floor in front of Sirius where his feet ought to be. “What’s made specially for beaters?” he asked, settling down.

“These weights,” Sirius answered and he turned the catalog to Peter next.

Peter stared at it, and then, as though he were allergic to exercise, he asked, “Anyone want a licorice wand?” he reached in his pocket and pulled out a couple, holding them up to offer them around.

James took one of the wands and bit into it, “If you want the weights, I’ll order them for you,” he offered Sirius.

“You serious?”

“No, you are,” James said, smirking. Sirius took one of the wands from Peter just to whack James with it heartily on the arm. But even as he hit him with it, his eyes were sparkling with gratitude. “I’ll order them tomorrow,” James said, grinning.

Peter nudged Remus’s knee and he looked up from his History of Magic book to see Peter was holding aloft a Honeydukes Fudge Bar. He smiled. “Instead of a licorice wand, would you rather this? I know they’re your favorite.”

Remus grinned, “I’m never going to say no to chocolate,” he said, eagerly taking half the bar as Peter split it up.

They sat there, each delving into their own projects - Sirius and James taking it in turns to look over items in the catalog and make elaborate plans to get jobs at Quality Quidditch Supplies one day, talking about how beneficial the employee discount must be. Peter made a job of eating and injected a comment now and then on the things James and Sirius were saying. Remus studied.

The glow of the fire painted them all orange and flickered warmly in the hearth and soon Peter had drooped to one side, falling asleep on the carpet. James ended up leaning against Sirius’s legs as he drifted off, his head using Sirius’s shin like a pillow. Remus was next, his head flopping back and his book only just missing hitting Sirius’s forehead, but Sirius wasn’t even awake enough to try and dodge it, he curled against Remus all the further so that his face was pressed against his stomach and he was breathing in that warm jumper smell, and he smiled as he fell asleep.




This was the state that Lily found them in when she snuck back into the common room later that night. Sirius was sprawled across the other three - one leg up on the back of the couch, caugh under James’s head, the other across his lap, his face pressed into Remus’s stomach, left arm draped over Peter’s shoulder. Peter snoring loudly.

She shook her head and picked up the chocolate bar that had fallen from Remus’s hand onto the common room floor before the fire could melt it into the carpet any more than it already had. Remus stirred slightly, his eyes opening and shifting, finding Sirius there and he stopped moving, not wanting to wake him up. He looked up at Lily.

“Go back to sleep,” she whispered.

Remus looked about himself at the state of himself and the other Marauders, and looked up at Lily, a sleepy smile across his face. He started to close his eyes, but then he remembered and he opened them back up. She was just a couple steps away. “Lily,” Remus whispered.

She turned back, “What?”

“How come you didn’t tell me about you seeing Severus Snape before?” he asked.

Lily went all funny at the mention of Severus’s name and she sighed dreamily and said, “I dunno. It came on rather suddenly, I s’pose. He’s just so handsome, and he’s brilliant. Those eyes -- oh Remus, I - I think I love him.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, “Love him?”

“Yes,” Lily sighed.

“You and Snape are always running so hot and cold, it’s impossible to keep up with what’s going on with you lot,” he said, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe I ever doubted how I feel about him!” Lily said thickly. “It’s as though he was always there, and I just didn’t see it somehow. Like you with --” she nodded to Sirius.

Remus flushed.

“I’m going to bed… Maybe I’ll dream of him!” Lily sounded hopeful.

“Right,” Remus said, “Well… Goodnight.”

Lily drifted away and Remus watched her go, disappearing up the stairs. He didn’t notice that Peter had stopped snoring.




Lily did indeed dream that night. She dreamt she was in the forest with Severus, walking along the winding path through the trees, and they were eating smooshed sandwiches and drinking butterbeer from the bottle. She was holding his hand and he seemed to glow, like a god, and she admired him just so, so, so much that her heart seemed to throb and ache from it. And then as they were walking they came upon the stag - the great white stag that haunted so many of Lily’s dreams, and she introduced the stag to Severus and he scowled and said, “It’s just a fancy deer,” and Lily started to cry.

She woke up crying, though she didn’t know what about exactly.

Outside the window, the nearly full moon was glowing blue.

It was about to be her birthday, she suddenly realized, and she’d forgotten to go and send Petunia an owl. She hastened to get out of bed and went to her desk and quickly wrote a letter to Petunia, wishing her a Happy Birthday, even though Tuney probably wouldn’t even read it. She slid in a pretty woven bracelet that she’d made for her sister with some lovely thread that Emmaline Vance had gotten a kit of for Christmas and shown them all how to use, and sealed it all into an envelope.

Lily was up at the crack of dawn the next morning, crossed the castle, and sent the letter to Tuney off with an owl - Bubo, specifically, who had soared down eagerly when she saw the familiar face in the high tower. She smiled, “Hey there, Bubo,” she said, as James Potter’s owl clicked her beak at Lily happily. She gave Bubo a couple of owl nuts as a present before sending her off and Bubo fluttered her wings happily, taking off into the sky.

When Lily made it back to the Great Hall for breakfast, the Marauders were already there, all a frumpled mess from their night on the couch. Sirius winced as he moved, his back stiff from the position he’d had himself in all night. “I’m never falling asleep on the couch like that again,” he murmured, “It’s nothing but a cushy soft mattress for me.” He glanced at Remus with a smirking grin, “Or a dusty old floor, right?”

Remus laughed.

“What dusty old floor are you sleeping on?” Lily asked, reaching for a couple bagels and one of the little dishes of smear on the table.

“Oh, we uh, need to clean our dorm is all,” Sirius lied.

Lily looked at him funny.

“Happy Birthday, Evans,” James said quickly.

Lily’s eyes shifted to James, but in surprise, “What?”

“Today’s your birthday isn’t it?” James asked, “I thought you’d said it was the 30th, but --” he looked nervous.

“Yeah, it is today,” Lily said, “I just didn’t know you knew it.”

“Of course he knows it,” Sirius said, snickering.

James hit Sirius in the arm. “I hope you have a good one, Evans.”

“Thanks…” Lily said warily.

“Yes, happy birthday, Lily,” Remus said. “Have you got any plans with Severus to celebrate?” he asked.

James scowled at the mention of Snape.

Lily shook her head, “None that I know of. But being with Severus will be enough.” She smiled excitedly, “Bye boys,” she added, turning, carrying the smear and bagels away.

James looked at Remus, “What’d you have to go and bring that prat up for? I was getting on good with her.”

“She’s seeing him, James,” Remus said, “She - she said last night she thinks she loves him.”

“Loves him? That’s ridiculous!” James said, “She can’t love him. He’s horrible!”

Remus shrugged, “That’s what she said.”

They were all quiet a moment, eating, as James stared at the door the way Lily had gone. He turned back to them suddenly, eyes wide, “You lot don’t reckon Snape has her under an imperius and is making her think she loves him?”

“Can you do that with an imperius curse?” Peter asked.

“I dunno!” James said.

They all looked at Remus.

“Well don’t ask me, I don’t know,” Remus said.

“You ought to ask Veigler!” James said, “Since you’re getting on so good with him and all.”

“Alright,” Remus said, eager for an excuse to go and have another talk with the professor. With the full moon less than a week away, he’d been hoping that perhaps Veigler might have some bit of advice for him about how to keep his mind about him again as he’d done last month in the woods.

Sirius was smirking at James.

“What?” James asked, “Why else would she fancy that prat? I’ll bet that’s why she runs so hot and cold with him. She runs hot when he’s able to get close enough to her to keep the spell up and cold when she’s been apart from him long enough for it to wear off!” James felt like he was talking rather brilliant lines.

“You’re just jealous, mate,” Sirius said with a laugh.

“I’m not jealous,” James denied it and just to show his annoyance with Sirius’s suggestion, he flicked his spoon full of cream cheese with chives at Sirius.

“Oh you did not just do that,” Sirius said and he quickly grabbed up the butter from the table.

“Guys - “ Remus said warningly, but it was too late.

Sirius had already flung a bit of the butter at James and it got into his hair and James was flailing, appalled that something foreign had gone in his hair and Sirius laughed and said, “Well maybe Evans will fancy you more now that you’ve got greasy hair like Snivellus!”

“You best be nice to me,” James warned, “Or I won’t be ordering your handweights after all!”

“Bloody hell, then I’ll have scrawny arms like yours forever!” Sirius lamented.

“That’s it --” James said, reaching for the jam, “Now you’re in trouble.”