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Merlin’s Beard


Sirius held Remus’s hand as they couched with James and Lily Evans at the end of the hallway from the gargoyles. They watched as Fabian and Gideon informed the gargoyles of Dumbledore’s fondness of pepper imps and the stone giants moved aside to let them pass.

“Seriously, Dumbledore? Pepper imps?” Sirius made a face, “Bloody disgusting those are.”

“They taste like cimmanin,” commented James, “How can you not like those?”

Sirius snorted and James’s incapability to say the word cinnamon correctly, even stone cold sober, and pulled his head back ‘round the corner, standing upright in the hall. “Alright, so we give Thing One and Thing Two a few minutes to get in the office there, then we go tell those stone beasts about the pepper imps, get under the invisibility cloak --”

“Padfoot, we’re not eleven anymore, we’re not all going to fit under that thing,” Remus pointed out. “The cloak barely covers me alone anymore…” He reached for it from James, swept it about his shoulders and looked down, “Look at that. An inch of ankle.”

“What the fuck did you go and get tall for, Moony?” Sirius demanded, shaking his head. “You’ve ruined everything with all your bloody… tallness…”

“Oi, it’s not his fault you’re a smurf, Black,” said James.

Lily stared at the cloak, she’d had very limited encounters with it and it was still utterly fascinating to her. She watched the silvery fabric ripple as Remus handed it back to James and James chucked it over his elbow and looked back ‘round the corner again. “We need to choose an ambassador.”

“It ought to be me,” Sirius said. “Seeing as I’m the sneakiest of us.”

“You’re also the clumsiest,” Remus pointed out. “I’ve been up there the most, maybe it ought to be me.”

“With an inch of ankle showing? That’s brilliant,” Sirius said.

James and Lily looked at one another.

“It should be me,” Lily said. “Of us all, I’m the one that’s been in trouble the least and is therefore the least suspicious to find up there. If I get caught, I can just say I was looking for Dumbledore and since I’m a prefect there are loads of reasons I could’ve been looking for him.”

“Excellent idea, Evans,” Sirius agreed, trying to be nicer to her because though he really did think she’d acted horribly before, he really hadn’t meant it when he’d called her a bitch and he felt like he needed to make it up to her a bit.

James hesitated in handing her the cloak. He was about to say but what if you get a detention, but then he realized he shouldn’t care so much what happened to Lily Evans - after all, she didn’t care what happened to him so… so why should he… and… he was trying to get over her and all and… He looked away as she took the cloak that he reluctantly held out for her.

The boys watched as Lily walked down the hallway to the gargoyles and stood before it - “Pepper imps,” she said clearly - and the gargoyles moved aside. Lily looked back at the three boys’ heads sticking ‘round the end of the corridor, took a deep breath, and swung the cloak ‘round her shoulders, disappearing from sight.

While they stood there in the corridor waiting for The Lilly Report, they faced one another and Remus looked at James, then back to Sirius and cleared his throat, nodding to their mate. Sirius looked at Remus for a long moment and Remus raised his eyebrows meaningfully. Sirius took a deep breath, “Oi, Prongs.”

“Padfoot?”

“I uh… if I made you feel pathetic or whatever… it’s just that I didn’t mean to or anything, I don’t think you’re pathetic for liking Evans, I mean… for a girl, she’s good looking and whatever.” Sirius was squirming. He looked at Remus like a little kid - the eyes clearly asked Do I have to?

“Go on,” Remus prodded. “Say the words.”

Sirius looked like he was in actual pain as he looked at James and he muttered, “I’m sorry.”

James laughed, “Oh shut it, Padfoot, you don’t have to be sorry to me… I was sort of an arse back there, I should be the one who’s apologizing.” James paused and Sirius and Remus looked at him expectantly, then James said, “Luckily, I don’t have a boyfriend that’s gonna force me to do it, so I get to keep all that rubbish inside.” He smirked and leaned to look ‘round the corridor wall.

Sirius grinned in amusement as Remus shook his head.

As they continued to wait for Evans, Remus sat on the floor, and Sirius with him, holding him, Remus’s back and knees bothering him since the next day would be the full moon again already, and James paced, checking ‘round the corner every few laps he did. “Do you reckon it’s about Minchum’s grand-daughter?” James asked. “Reckon they found a - a body or something?”

“Perhaps,” Sirius replied, rubbing his hand against Remus’s spine.

Suddenly Lily came running, breathless, peeling the cloak from her shoulders. “Newt Scamander’s here,” she said quickly, “And he was telling Dumbledore that he knows who ---.” She stopped mid-sentence, staring at Rey, realizing what she was about to say.

Remus looked up. “Who what?”

Lily hesitated.

“Evans?” Sirius prodded. He could feel the tension in Remus building even stronger than it had already been, like an overinflated balloon he felt stretched and fragile about the edges.

Lily was about to answer when Fabian and Gideon came ‘round the corner and nearly ran right into the whole lot of them. They stopped short and looked ‘round at the four of them gathered there, and Gideon said, “You lot shouldn’t be out here, someone might think you were spying on them.” He gave the four of them a pointed look.

“Us? No, we often hang about in the corridor here,” Sirius said. He looked around for something interesting to point out but there wasn’t even any portraits in this particular corner of the corridor so he ran his fingers over the carpet and said, “Oooh, soft. Cushy. Luxurious.”

Fabian rolled his eyes.

Just then a house elf popped into appearance between Lily and Gideon with a great CRACK! that sent her jumping backwards so that she slammed herself into James and he caught her by her elbows, righting her quickly and letting go just as quickly. He took two steps back and held his hands up, like declaring he was unarmed or something and Sirius smirked as Lily blushed.

The house elf didn’t notice the commotion he had caused, but he walked with a funny wide gait - he was bandy legged, like his legs had been broken once and mended funny back together or something - and he grabbed Remus’s arm, “Master Dumbledore is saying you is supposed to be visiting him, sir, Mr. Lupin sir,” the elf said.

Remus looked up at the others.

Sirius grabbed hold of Remus’s other arm. “If he goes, I go, too, elf,” he said in an imperial voice like the one Remus had once heard him use talking to Kreacher.

The elf stared at Sirius, “Master Dumbledore is requesting only Mr. Lupin, sir, only Mr. Lupin is supposed to be coming with me back to Master Dumbledore, sir.”

“Well bully for Dumbledore, he should know by know we’re a two-fer, he and I,” Sirius said, “So if Dumbledore’s got shit with that, then he can take it up with me!”

The elf blinked at Sirius and said, “Mr. Black you is having a dirty mouth! A very dirty mouth!”

Gideon looked at Fabian, who nodded, then back to the elf, “Actually, Pappi, I’m thinking that Mr. Black accompanying Mr. Lupin would be a brilliant idea,” he said.

The elf looked up at Gideon. “Masters Gideon and Fabian,” the elf bowed awkwardly, letting go of Remus’s arm for a moment. “I is not knowing you is here, you is so kind.”

“Yeah, yeah, saved your life, we know the spiel,” they both said at once. But they were both blushing and grinning as they did it.

Pappi the House Elf looked up at them, then turned back to Remus and Sirius and held out both his hands, “You is be both coming with me, then.”

Sirius grabbed Remus’s hand and then the house elf’s and he looked at James, “Oh and tell Peter --” but before he could finish, Remus had grabbed the house elf’s hand, too, and with another CRACK! the three of them had vanished.

Lily jumped again, but this time it wasn’t into James, thankfully.

Gideon and Fabian stared at the spot where the elf and the two boys had been and finally Gideon muttered, “Poor lad.”

Fabian nodded.

“You knew that house elf?” James asked curiously, interested.

“Yeah,” Fabian said, “Saved his life, didn’t we?”

“Certainly did,” Gideon said, nodding. “Lived with a family -”

“If you want to call them that, horrible lot they were,” interrupted Fabian.

“-- abused him all the time,” Gideon finished without pausing for Fabian’s interruption. “Broke his legs as punishment because he didn’t finish his duties fast enough. Then punished him more because he couldn’t do his duties because his legs were broken!”

Lily looked quite livid.

Fabian said, “So we tricked them into freeing him.”

“We were kids when we did it,” Gideon said.

“Up to no good, as usual,” Fabian added.

“Used to be friends with the boy whose family it was,” Gideon said, shaking his head.

“Not anymore,” added Fabian.

“Never again,” Gideon agreed.

“I should think not, seeing as they’ve abused a poor, innocent creature!” Lily said, horrified, “What terrible people!”

“Yeah,” Fabian said, “Unfortunately a lot of the pureblood families are twisted that way… think house elves are worthless.”

James thought of Tizzy and how she’d saved their lives against Orion Black two summers ago and he shook his head, “They’re not worthless. In fact, they’re very brave, house elves.”

Gideon nodded, “You’re preaching to the choir, mate.”

“We voted for fair wages for house elves last time the issue was raised, but it didn’t pass,” Fabian explained.

“Too many people think messed up ways,” Gideon said sadly.

Lily shook her head.

“Anyway,” Gideon shook himself out of the sad air that had come upon them and he said, “We’ve got an awful lot of work to do. Right Fabulous?”

“Right Giddy.”

They started off down the hallway and at the end, they paused and Fabian looked back, “Also, I don’t give a damn how soft and luxurious that particular bit of carpet is, you might consider hanging out elsewhere next time?”

“Yeah, like not by Dumbledore’s door with an invisibility cloak,” added Gideon, looking right at Lily, who flushed.

And with that they turned and stepped out of sight.

James and Lily stood there in the hallway, quite alone. They looked at each other for a moment, then James took a deep breath and turned, starting walking down the hallway. Lily hesitated a moment, then scrambled after him. “James,” she said, catching up to him, and she grabbed the arm of his robes and he slowed to a stop, though he didn’t turn or look down at her, even as she hurried to step in front of him and stared up at him, he just stared right ahead, his jaw set. “James, I’m sorry about before. I dunno what happened in the Great Hall between you four, or what happened in the Entrance Hall with you, Maryrose, Sev and Regulus Black… But I’m sorry for it whatever it is, and I’m sorry if I hurt you the other day. You - you didn’t deserve what I said, and… and I’m a liar anyway because --” she flushed and she looked down at the Gryffindor crest on his robes… his chest was quite broad, she observed. She’d never noticed before.

James snuck a peek at her while she was looking away… he could smell her hair… he felt his knees go a little wonky and he quickly looked away again. His heart couldn’t take it. He wished she’d back away… the muscles in his arms were quivering, wanting to take her up in a hug...

“I actually did tell Andy to pick you over Frank.”

James raised his eyebrows. “You did?” he asked, his voice thick. He kept his eyes trained on the pattern on the wallpaper.

“Yes. Well. I only partly lied. I did tell him Frank at first. But… but then I went back and I told him to pick you.”

“Why?”

“Because you wanted it more. And - and I know you. When you want something… you bloody put your heart into it like no other person I know.” Lily tilted her chin up to look at him again, at his brown eyes and long lashes as they searched the wall, glistening just a wee bit and his jaw all stiff. He had facial hair - just a bit of scruffiness around his jaw… and the tiniest bit of it over his upperlip… not enough to be a mustache, just a shadow… the muscles in his neck tightened as he swallowed and she felt… she felt this funny feeling... it took her by surprise, she never thought she’d ever feel… “James?”

“What?” He looked down at her for the first time and their eyes locked.

She felt a rush of something bottom out in her stomach and her heart beat went erratic…

Merlin’s beard, she thought, I like James Potter.

She’d just realized that she wanted to kiss him. She wanted to know what those plump lips would feel like if he pressed them on hers, what his mouth tasted like… She wanted to know what his hair felt like if she were to run her fingers through it, she wanted to know if that shadow on his lip would tickle her face, if his nose would do that romantic bumping-against-hers thing like in the cinema, if it would make her leg pop if she kissed him…. She wanted to grab hold of his head and pull him closer, and get the answer to all those questions and she almost did it. She was about to bring her hands up to do it… when she horribly chickened out.

“I - I haven’t told anyone about the detentions I assigned you lot for Friday,” she stammered the words instead. “I… I don’t have to. You can do your try-outs for the team.”

“I can?” James felt like he’d been under a spell and it had just broken with her words. He’d thought -- but no. Lily Evans was Lily Evans, of course she hadn’t nearly kissed him. That would be madness. Get over it James, she’s never going to kiss you, you blithering dolt. Don’t be daft.

“Yes, Potter, you can,” Lily said. And quickly, panicky, she turned away and started walking down the corridor.

James hesitated, still clearing his head from the strange tense moment they’d just shared and he finally took a deep breath and shook himself out of it, jogging down the corridor, falling into step beside her, feeling, once more, like he was trotting to her fast gait. “Evans, are you going to come to try-outs?” he asked.

“I dunno, maybe.”

“Blimey. Are you going to try out?” he asked, hopefully.

“I’m not a Keeper, Potter, I played Seeker, and no I’m not trying out.” She felt dizzy from what had almost happened, and the further from the dark of the corridor they got, the more relieved she felt that she hadn’t gone ahead and kissed him.

“So you’re coming just to watch me, then?” he asked, grinning, his lip hung up on his tooth.

She stared at him a moment. That tooth. That bloody adorable, freaking perfectly misplaced tooth… Wonder what that tooth feels like in a kiss. Can you feel it through his lip? Does it throw off his snogging at all? What if my tooth bumped that tooth? Would it hurt? What if he nipped my lip with that tooth and pulled at it and ---

Lily shook her head.

She was trying to clear the thoughts, but he took it as a no she wasn’t coming to see him and he said, “Of course you are, Evans, it’s not like you’re coming to watch Frank.”

Lily stared up at him.

“I am the Captain after all,” he said, still grinning.

“Seriously, Potter, stop saying the word Captain,” she answered, and she turned on the steps again, her palms shaking and sweating against the bannister.

You’ve gone mad, clearly. She thought as they went up the stairs together, their feet thumping on the steps. It would be a disaster! It would be terrible. Horrid. The worst idea you’ve ever had, really, Evans.

She glanced over at him as he charged along, his fists balled and a playful half-smirk still ghosting across his lips.

Absolutely mad.




It wasn’t until late-late-late that night, after everything else that was still to happen that afternoon had gone on, when James was in bed and the others were asleep that he woke up from a dream and realized that Evans had called him James.