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Acting Like I Always Do


The first of the year brought frigid cold so that by the time it came round to the day the Hogwarts Express would be carrying the students back to the castle, Severus Snape was looking forward to feeling what warmth was like again. He’d relied solely on the fire that he could conjure with his wand, and it wasn’t enough to keep him as warm as he would have liked to be. He missed the green fire in the Slytherin common room and the warm meat and potatoes from the feasts. He missed the tarts and the hot chocolate. He missed Lily Evans.

So it was on 6 January, 1976, that Severus clutched the book of Defensive Dark Magic under his arm, his fist tight around his book bag’s strap. He was excited as he ducked through the barrier onto Platform 9¾ and looked around at the milling students and parents that filled it up, surrounded by billowing grey smoke from the scarlet red steam engine. The platform was crowded and chaotic, and Severus kept his head ducked down as he moved through, trying to get to the train doors. He spotted Lily Evans by the door, holding her bag and laughing, talking to Marlene McKinnon, passing a copy of Teen Witch back and forth between them. She looked up and saw him and waved, and he waved back, smiling, triumphant because he was getting waved at and not James Potter - and started toward her, excitement building up inside him…

Suddenly something caught around his feet and he went down, spilling across the platform, his books skidding ahead of him under the feet of passersby, his knee hitting the cement quite roughly, wind knocked right out of his chest with a great choking gasp.

“Oi, have a good trip, Snivellus?” came James Potter’s voice from behind him - followed by loud and obnoxious laughter that Severus highly suspected had come from Sirius Black.

Severus sat up, scrambling for his book and a foot came down upon it. A Gryffindor-red trainer with scribbled writing and sketching all over the white rubber toe and the rim of the soles. Severus looked up and found himself staring into James Potter’s face. “Move your foot or I will move it for you,” he hissed, angrily.

“My, aren’t we cranky?” James said in a sneering voice. “I was going to offer to help you up. But since you’re being so rude about it…” James turned, his foot lifting from the book to show he’d left a dusty footprint on the cover.

Severus went to grab the book, trying to talk himself out of hexing James Potter (after all, Lily may still be watching), but the text was suddenly kicked away from his reach by a heavy black boot. “So sorry, Snivellus,” Sirius Black said, smirking, “Didn’t mean to.” And before Severus could react, he had charged after James Potter toward the train. They were shadowed by Peter Pettigrew and a positively miserable-looking Remus Lupin, who took a wide berth around Severus Snape’s prone figure on the platform floor. Severus crawled to the book’s new location, snatching it up and jamming it into his book bag.

Don’t hex him, not here. Not in front of Lily. If you hex him, it must be in secret… but oh how brilliant it would feel to send that gallant oaf to the cement the same as he’s just done me… knock out a few of those bloody teeth of his… Severus stewed as he clutched the book to his chest.

“Happy New Year, Evans,” James said as he approached Lily and Marlene at the door of the train. He grinned and stuck his arm around her shoulders. “Did you see how clumsy Snape is? Just took a spill. Might wanna tell him to watch his step in the future, huh?” He winked at her and laughed, “Maybe he’s tripped on his unusually large nose?”

Lily glowered at him, “What are you doing?”

“Well talking to you about your darling Severus, of course. Darling Severus and his abysmally oversized schnozz... You see it’s like Pinocchio, isn’t it? He tells lies and…” he pressed his finger to his nose and drew it away, miming his nose growing, growing, growing. “Lie enough times and I reckon one’s nose would be dragging the ground and easy to trip upon, wouldn’t it?” James grinned. “I s’pose that’s what’s happened to Snivellus.”

Peter laughed very hard at this.

“I hear the healers at St. Mungos have wonder-working spells that shrink people’s nose down. Costs a fair galleon, which Snivellus doesn’t have - being poor and all… Perhaps we ought to take up a collection and get him some rhinoplasty?” James looked about. “OI, ANYONE WILLING TO DONATE TO A GOOD CAUSE? IN THE SPIRIT OF THE HOLIDAY?!” People looked at him funny, but nobody responded, used to the Marauders randomly yelling strange things that made no sense to anyone but them… James turned back to Lily, “Oh well. Looks like Snivellus is going to have to just be more careful not to catch his thrift shop loafers on his hanging honker, then.”

“Good one, James,” came Sirius’s guffaw.

Remus shook his head and continued onto the Hogwarts Express without pausing to hear the rest of James’s tirade, followed by Peter, who was eager not to get caught in the middle of anything, should Snape come their way. Sirius hung about, hovering, torn between following Remus onto the train and staying to back James up in his conversation with Lily Evans.

Lily stared at James in surprise, “Why are you acting like this?”

“Acting like what?”

Lily didn’t know what word to use for it. “Not - not like yourself,” she said, finally.

“Well, Love, according to you, I’m acting like I always do - like a bully.” He smiled, “Isn’t that right?” And he before she could answer - or reprimand him for calling her love - or do any of the things she normally would’ve done, he patted her on the back, looked to Marlene and said, “Alright, McKinnon?” and off he went through the door.

Sirius saluted them with a smirking grin. “That Potter boy - simply horrible, isn’t he?”

“What is his problem?” Lily asked Sirius, her eyes following after James’s figure as he made his way through the crowded train corridor.

“Dunno,” Sirius said in as innocent a tone as he could muster, “I mean it isn’t as though he’s been beaten up recently. Not as though any particularly greasy headed gits have hexed him or anything.”

Lily eyed Sirius as Marlene looked on in confusion, having not yet heard the story of what had happened over the holiday. “Oh is that it? He’s being an arse because he got caught at being a bad boy? That’s mature.”

“Caught, falsely blamed.” Sirius shrugged. “Synonyms in the dictionary of Evans.” He grinned and turned to Marlene, “And how are you?”

“Confused?” Marlene answered.

Sirius laughed, “Don’t worry. Evans will fill you in on all the horrid things Potter’s been accused of.” He nodded to them, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Snivellus is on his way and I have a good mate to catch up with on board.” He ducked away, “Good day, ladies.”

Lily stared after his retreating back and rolled her eyes. “Great. I hope Remus isn’t planning to run off any leave me to give those two a detention every time they act up like that!”

Marlene gave Lily a funny look, “What was Sirius on about with the false blame and all that lot?”

“James beat up Severus over the holiday,” Lily said with an eyeroll, “And he claims he didn’t. Even though Severus turned up all bruised and torn up! James actually had the nerve to try and claim he did it to himself. The idiot.”

Marlene laughed. “Wow.”

“Speaking of…” Lily turned as Severus finally arrived, carrying his book and looking flustered. “Are you alright? What happened?”

“Tripped,” Severus muttered. “Potter tripped me.”

Lily scowled.

“I’ll be alright,” Severus said in a self patronizing tone.

Lily smoothed his robes carefully, “I’m sure you will. You’re very strong.”

Severus liked that Lily’s palm was touching his chest to smooth the robes and he had just about gotten up the guts to say something about it when she stopped suddenly, a grin going over her face as she looked past him to someone approaching and turned away from him as Jasper Odair walked up and took Lily Evans’ hand in his own. “Hey Evans,” he said, and he leaned in and kissed her forehead, smiling as she flushed.

“Hey Jasper. You’ve met Severus Snape and Marlene McKinnon before, haven’t you?” she asked.

Jasper nodded, “Yeah I have.” He smiled at Marlene and less so at Severus, but turned back to Lily, “There’s empty space in my compartment on the train if you’re, uh, interested…” he grinned at her with a row of perfectly straight teeth and his brilliantly blue eyes.

“Sure.” Lily smiled and turned to Severus, “Be good, stay out of trouble,” she added wagging her finger at Severus, then, to Marlene, “See you at school!” And she ducked onto the train, following after Jasper with a smile upon her face.

Severus stared after her. “They aren’t -- are they?” he looked at Marlene.

“What? Together?” Marlene asked, then, “I mean, it would only make sense if they were. He’s fancied her for ages.”

Severus scowled, “Yeah. Well. Lily’s not his.”

Not his?” Marlene repeated the words and laughed, “What a strange thing to say. Of course she’s not his. She’s her own being. They’re probably a couple, though… a cute one, too.”

Severus’s eyebrow went completely straight. “Mm. Well. Do excuse me, I feel I may be ill.” He hurriedly turned away and got aboard the express.




James was doubled over in the compartment when Sirius got there. Remus was patting his back while Peter stared out the window. Sirius came in and closed the door. “What’s the matter?” he asked, looking at James’s hair, which was wildly standing on end as he leaned down, head nearly to the floor.

Remus looked up, “We’re having anxiety.”

“Anxiety.”

“Yes.”

“What’d she say to you?” James moaned at the floor.

“Evans? Asked me what was wrong with you,” Sirius said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the compartment door frame, blocking the window with his back. “I told her I didn’t know, that it wasn’t as though you’d been attacked over the holiday or anything.” Sirius grinned.

James coughed.

Remus sighed. “Maybe we should reconsider this whole bullying thing, I mean if you’re going to get worked up every time you --”

No,” James said, “I’m not reconsidering anything. I just --”

“Tear off Merlin’s filthy socks and give’em to a house elf!” cried Sirius suddenly.

James looked up. “What?”

Remus raised an eyebrow, “You say the oddest ---”

“Evans and Odair! EVANS AND ODAIR!” Peter stammered.

“What?” James sat up and turned to see Peter and Sirius were both staring gaping-mouthed at the window. He craned his neck to see, too, and there was Jasper Odair, alright, standing on the Platform with Lily Evans - interrupting Severus Snape talking to Lily Evans - taking Lily Evans away from Marlene and Snape and heading onto the train! Together with Lily Evans!

James’s nose was pressed to the glass as hard as possible, watching ‘til the hems of their robes disappeared over the threshold of the door frame, then all four Marauders turned to the compartment door window and pressed their faces to it to watch for her and Jasper -- and they came up the corridor, talking, laughing, together, and James felt faint and stumbled backward as they passed by and Remus’s eyebrows went up and Peter make funny noises and Sirius said, “Oh ferfuckssakes,” and reached for the door handle.

“Sirius -- where are you going?” Remus demanded.

Sirius looked at Remus. “To investigate.” And he ducked out the door.

The other three sat in silence for a moment, then, finally Remus said, “To investigate? Well. That sounds like a detention waiting to happen.”

“So why don’t you go after him?” Peter asked.

“I’m not giving him detention!” Remus said, “Bloody hell, I’m not mental. Let Evans do it.”

James was doubled over again, wheezing Jasper’s name. Remus looked, then reached over and rubbed his back. “Alright, let’s calm down, we can’t be having a panic attack every time we see Lily the whole term, mate.”

Peter duck ‘round in his robes for a moment, then held up a Honeyduke’s bar. “It’s almond butter cream filled,” he said, waving the bar under James’s nose.

James shook his head, “No thank you Wormy.”

“Really, James, Peter’s right,” Remus said, “Eat. You’ll feel better.”