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Dumbledore Confetti


James and Sirius were quite winded by the time they reached the stone gargoyles on the fifth floor. Sirius doubled over, clutching his knees, laughing uproariously as James wheezed, sliding down the wall to the carpet, tears in his eyes as he clutched his stomach. “Bloody hell, bloody hell,” he laughed, “Oh Sirius, I swear to Merlin, you get us in more blasted trouble --”

Sirius grinned at the floor, literally dizzy from the romp across the school grounds. He’d never felt so alive - aside from perhaps that time two summers before when he’d jumped from the train tracks and scared the bejeezus out of Remus and Peter. Sirius let out a low whoop of excitement and stood upright quickly, tossing his shaggy hair as he did and running a hand over his forehead, clutching the camera to his chest. He chuckled as he gained his breath back and looked over at poor James, who was flopping sideways on the carpet, still laughing, his glasses off and on the carpet beside him, rubbing his eyes with mirth.

“You - you want the honors or - or shall I?” he asked, holding up the camera.

“Like I know how to work that ruddy thing,” James wheezed.

“Alright, I’ll do it then. Wish me luck.” He winked and looked to the gargoyles.

“Luck,” James choked the word out as he wiped his glasses on his sweater-vest.

Sirius cleared his throat and said to the gargoyles, “Cockroach Clusters, though I dunno why anybody would want’em!” Remus, who’d known the password from visiting the headmaster just the other day, had given him the password and Sirius grinned as the gargoyles jumped aside and Sirius waved his hands at them as he walked by and dashed up the stone stairway beyond. He clutched the camera in his hands, his feet echoing off the stone walls as he made his way up - up - up to the headmaster’s office door and he smirked to himself, imagining the chaos that they were about to cause.

He crept up to the door of the office and tucked the camera behind his back. He took a deep breath, composing himself, preparing his fingers on the button of the Polaroid machine, and raised his hand to knock, rapping his knuckles against the wood.

It took a moment - longer than it normally did - and Sirius started to think perhaps Dumbledore wasn’t even in the office - but finally the wood door swung open and Albus Dumbledore stood in a narrow space he made in the doorway, his eyes flickering over Sirius standing there. “Mr. Black,” he said calmly, “However can I assist you?”

Sirius said smoothly, “Sir… I had a question.”

“Yes?”

“Well, sir, could you tell me, what sort of food is a cheddar?”

“What?” Dumbledore looked baffled for a moment, “You mean the cheese?”

And the moment that Dumbledore’s mouth formed the word cheese, Sirius lifted up the camera, aimed as best he could without really knowing how, and clicked the button. The flash went off, and the headmaster let out a yelp of surprise and the camera whirred and clicked and Sirius clicked the button again, just for good measure and turned, hightailing it down the stairwell, catching the photos as they came out of the slot at the front, laughing and shouting, “I GOT IT JAMES, I GOT IT!” as he went.

Dumbledore blinked, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses and leaned to look over the rail at the shadow of Sirius Black disappearing down the stone steps, holding aloft the two photos. He shook his head, “But of course Mr. Potter is waiting for him,” Dumbledore murmured, “Probably flying a getaway broom, knowing the pair of them!”

He shook his head and turned to see Regulus Black in the doorway behind him. “Was that Sirius?” Regulus asked, eyes wide with anxious hope.

“Yes, Mr. Black, it was your brother, but I fear he’s had to run again already…” Dumbledore said. “Come, come, we’ll finish our talk.”

Regulus nodded and followed Dumbledore back into his office, wondering what it was Sirius was up to.

Dumbledore calmly pushed his office door closed and crossed back over the room to his desk, sitting and leaning back, as he’d been before the interruption. He stared across the desk at Regulus. “You were about to tell me something?”

Regulus bit his lip and wrapped his fingers tighter ‘round the sleeve of his jumper, holding it fastly in place over his wrist. He stared at the wall of portraits of past headmaster and headmistresses and he felt suddenly quite nervous. He’d been about to tell Dumbledore his secret, about what he’d woke up to find stamped upon his arm. But then, of all the people in all of the castle in all of the world, Sirius had appeared and Regulus couldn’t help but feel like it was a sign - a sign not to tell, a sign that, if he did, he’d be rejected. He stared at his knees and he looked up at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore had a funny, questioning expression upon his face.

Regulus quickly packed up his thoughts, the same as he’d learned to do ‘round Severus Snape, and he locked them away and he drew a deep breath and he sat up, “I don’t think that I was, Headmaster. And if I was, it’s clearly slipped my mind.” He stood up, “I’m rather falling behind on my homework, so you’ll forgive me sir, I’ve only just realized the time, I think it would be best if I go.”

Dumbledore studied Regulus a long moment, then stood up, too, and he walked around the desk to the door and unlatched it, “If you insist, Mr. Black, I won’t keep you. But should you recall what it is you wanted to say… any time of the day… you’re welcome to come back and speak to me. I will always be here.” He stared at Regulus meaningfully. “You do know that?”

“Yes sir,” Regulus replied. Until you find out what I’ve got on my arm, and then you’ll chuck me out the same as everyone else.

Dumbledore held open the door and Regulus hurried down the stairs.

Dumbledore stood staring after him.




James and Sirius stood, peering ‘round the frame of the door of the Great Hall, looking at the little tables spread about the room with their little pink and white table cloths, tiny red vases with red roses and sprigs of tiny white flowers… James held the photo of Dumbledore, Sirius held the camera. The Great Hall was busting with activity as couples sat and talked, waiting for the Tea to officially begin.

“Think Wormtail and Moony got their part of it done yet?” James asked, looking up at Sirius, who was leaning over him.

Sirius said, “Moony wouldn’t let us down.”

James grinned.

“Alright,” Sirius said, as the tea pots and cups and saucers suddenly appeared on the tables, “Let’s go.”




Lily Evans sat across from Jasper Odair in the Great Hall, holding the heart-shaped box of chocolates he’d just given her. “Jasper,” she said, “How did you even know my preference for raspberry cauldrons? I don’t know that I’ve even mentioned it! Thank you so much.” She smiled at him and said, “I feel terrible, I didn’t really get you anything…” she flushed.

Jasper reached across the table to take her hand and smiled at her, “I don’t need anything but your smile, love.”

Lily flushed even harder. “You’re literally just too sweet,” she said, and she put the cauldrons box down on the table and squeezed his hand.

“No, you are,” Jasper answered smoothly, winking and lifting her hand to kiss her knuckles. “I’m very lucky. Thank you for coming to the Tea with me.”

“Oh of course, thank you for asking me,” she answered. She wasn’t sure what else to say and she gave an awkward little laugh as he squeezed her fingers. Lily looked about the room to see what other couples were doing - mostly talking - and she realized as she looked around that she didn’t see any of the Marauders at all. “That’s odd,” she murmured outloud.

“What?” Jasper asked.

“Well it’s just - the Marauders, they aren’t here,” Lily said. “I should have thought that at least Sirius and Remus might’ve come.”

“I don’t think Remus Lupin was feeling too well earlier,” Jasper said.

That reminded Lily that the next night was the full moon and she realized Remus was probably in a good deal of suffering. He hadn’t been at breakfast, or lunch. Peter had come and taken food back to the dormitories for them after lunch, she recalled. She paused. “Wait, Jasper, when did you see him?”

Jasper paused, too, spinning a little spoon around on the table in front of him, “Oh, just, you know, about the castle.”

Lily was about to point out that Remus hadn’t been to the Great Hall and how she doubted very much whether he, in his current state, would’ve been just about the castle for no particular reason…

Suddenly the tea pot and cups appeared on the table before them and Jasper smiled and reached for the teapot and poured them each a cup as a tray of little biscuits and tiny tea sandwiches appeared. Lily marvelled at the little sugar flowers and candy hearts that the house elves of the Hogwarts kitchens had so lovingly placed on each little cake. She smiled, “Oh they’re lovely, aren’t they?”

“Not as lovely as you are,” Jasper replied.

Lily flushed.

“To you, Lily,” Jasper said, cheersing her with his tea cup.

“To you, too, Jasper,” Lily replied and she held her cup up as well.

Suddenly there was an explosive sound that rocked the whole of the Great Hall from high up in the enchanted ceiling, making all of the tea cups clink and clatter against their saucers. Everyone in the entire Hall looked up to see what it was that had made the sound and to their amazement, the ceiling seemed to be raining bits of paper - hundreds and thousands of tiny little papers fluttering about like oversized confetti.

Lily reached out and caught one of them and looked at it to see a photo of Albus Dumbledore. She stared at it, confused, and looked around at the pieces landing all around her - including in her tea cup, which she hadn’t quite gotten a sip from just yet….

“Well that’s odd, isn’t it?” Lily said, turning to look at Jasper Odair, “Whoever would do such a thing as this? And with the Headmaster’s photo?” But even as she said it, she thought she really already knew the answer of who, and it was really more like why would the Marauders make Dumbledore confetti?

Jasper had a funny look on his face. “Oh Lily, he’s gorgeous isn’t he?”

“What?” Lily asked, eyebrow raised.

“Completely magnificent.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“Albus Dumbledore, of course!” Jasper said, “He’s just such a handsome, incredible person… and imagine all of the power that resides in him! Like a great waterfall of knowledge and experience! He’s so brave, so good looking for his age!”

Lily’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“Oh I love him!” Jasper said.

“Jasper --”

And suddenly she could hear it - hear it echoing all around the Great Hall - the entire Hall was falling in love with Albus Dumbledore.

Lily looked down at the tea cup.

“Bloody hell. They didn’t… they wouldn’t… I mean, how would they?”

“Oh Lily, do you reckon he’s any idea I exist? I mean, I know he knows - seeing as he assigned me quidditch captain but… Do you think he fancies me? Ohh I hope so, I couldn’t stand the thouht that he doesn’t like me! Lily, I’ll go mad if he doesn’t love me!”

“Jasper, you need to pull yourself together. I think that the Marauders have put amortentia in the tea…” she sniffed the cup. It smelled of… of musk and the forest and a fire on a cold day with just a hint of aftershave… Lily looked up at Jasper, then down at the cup and stood up, “JAMES POTTER -- I KNOW YOU’RE BEHIND THIS!” she shouted, looking around for him.




In the Entrance Hall, Remus and Peter had come from the corridor that led off to the kitchens and Sirius and James were high fiving them, laughing as the echoing murmurs of love affirmations for Albus Dumbledore emitted from within the Great Hall as all of the students fell head over heels for the headmaster.

“Good one, Sirius,” James said, hooting with laughter as, in the Great Hall, several duels broke out over who loved the Headmaster most of all...