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The Switching Charm


Lily sat in one chair, James in the next beside her, staring wide-eyed as Argus Filch sat, filling out cards for their student records about the incident, Mrs. Norris weaving her way back and forth before them, her tail flickering through the air as she rubbed her back against Filch’s forehead.

“Caught, trespassing… out of bed past curfew… engaged in amorous activity… with an open alcohol container...” He shook his head, clucking his tongue.

James’s eyes moved around the room as he sat, leaning back in the chair, wishing he could just turn back time to the moment when he woke up. There were a hundred thousand things he wanted to say to her that he hadn’t said because he’d been too stunned by the situation and now here he sat, thinking them, wanting to turn and just blurt them out to her… he looked over at her.

Lily could feel his eyes on her and she flushed, but she didn’t dare look back at him because her heart might just explode. She bit her lower lip instead and closed her eyes. She felt his trainer nudge her mary-jane shoe after a moment and she glanced his way. He smiled. God did he smile. That hung up lip smile with the gentlest eyes she’d ever seen him wear.

Alright Evans? he mouthed the words.

She nodded.

He glanced at Filch, who was still muttering misdemeanors across the desk.

You’re beautiful, he mouthed.

Lily flushed and this made his grin wider and he winked at her and then turned back ‘round to face Filch as though he hadn’t done anything at all and she shivered with the excitement of what was happening. He thought she was beautiful! She’d never had anyone say that to her in all of her life… even people like Jasper Odair used different adjectives, like ----

Lily froze.

Jasper Odair.

Her heart dropped straight to her feet. Oh no. She was going to have to tell Jasper Odair what had happened and pray that he would be okay… that he’d understand… Oh what had she done? Cheating on Jasper Odair. She felt terrible. He wasn’t the sort of boy that one cheats on - he was too good for that. Sticky sweet, sure, but very thoughtful.

She just hoped he wouldn’t find out before she could tell him.

She could hear Sirius Black laughing in her mind at the word find.

Ugh, Black, you absolute arsehole, she thought.

And then she realized Sirius Black’s laughter was not just in her head. It was echoing from the hallway and James was glancing that direction, too, toward the door, his eyes wide, a smirk playing across his face. He cleared his throat. “Now what’s that Sirius Black up to?” he said to Filch.

Filch looked up from his parchments, scowling.

Sirius’s laughter was growing louder… and something else… a thumping, clanking…

James grinned, “Certainly sounds like no good, doesn’t it?”

Lily glanced between the door, James, and Filch.

Filch grumbled, “That better not be one of those bleeding suits of armor I hear…” and he got up, abandoning the arduous task of writing out the offenses of James and Lily, and he hurried to the door, looking down the corridor.

James turned in his seat, as did Lily, and watched as Filch stared down the hallway, listening… And the clanking got louder… and closer… and Sirius’s laughter was that manic, evil sort that he reserved for only his most heinous deeds and James’s grin widened even more. “Sirius Black!” shouted Filch… and then a burst of sparks shot down the hallway, bright gold reflecting off the walls - a hissing as the sparks flew past - Mrs. Norris screeching, only just barely getting out of the way, literally clawing her way up Filch’s dusty trousers. It was a Filibuster - fizzing and whizzing down the hall… then BOOM! It had exploded down the hallway and there was a great CRASH! and the tinkling of shattering glass and several loud sounds as suits of armor fell and Lily gasped and covered her mouth and Filch ran into the hallway, “SIRIUS BLACK!” he shouted, “SIRIUS BLACK!!” His voice echoed off the corridor walls.

“C’mon,” James said, jumping up. He reached over the desk, snatched up the Marauder’s Map and the parchment with their myriad of misdemeanors written upon it, and their wands from Filch’s desk. He tossed Lily her willow wand and his fingers twisted ‘round the handle of his own and he waved for her to follow him as he stepped into the corridor, glanced the direction Filch had gone and waved for her to follow him the opposite way - toward Ravenclaw tower.

They ducked down the corridor and James reached back for her hand, and together they jumped over the fallen suits of armor - one of the helmets was groaning in pain as they went by and the other said, “S’cuse me but could you spare a moment to stand us up again, good fellow?”

“Sorry, haven’t the time,” James answered and they bolted away as the two suits of armor started discussing how lazy student were these days.

“Where are we going?” Lily asked as they skid ‘round the corner at the end of the hall and James paused to shake out the Map.

“Let’s see,” Jame said, hurriedly unfolding the Map. “Where’s Sirius… where’s Sirius…”

“There he is,” they both said at once. But they were pointing at two different places on the parchment. James stared at the parchment in confusion. Double checking… yes, there were two Sirius Blacks. “What the hell?” James asked, shaking the Map, “How…?”

“Perhaps it’s gone faulty?”

“The map? Blimey, no, the map doesn’t lie. There’s two Sirius’s somehow.” James stared at the parchment in confusion...

Lily stared at James, “Seriously? You’re so sure the Map doesn’t lie that you can believe there’s two Siriuses before you can believe there might be a glitch?”

“There’s three, actually.”

“What?”

“Now four. What the hell?” James pointed to the Map. One of the Siriuses on the Map was moving very quickly down the hall and as it moved, behind it burst forth more Siriuses, which started slowly moving the opposite direction, back the way the one had come, and turning all myriad of ways once they reached the end of the corridor. The first dot turned down the third floor wing toward the tapestry that led to the Trophy Room Passageway.

Argus Filch and Mrs. Norris were chasing after one of the slower moving Siriuses.

But there were now six or seven of them meandering about.

“C’mon, that one there in the passageway must be the real Sirius,” James said, laughing, “I dunno what that knuckle head’s done but he’s brilliant whatever it is. Let’s go.” James quickly took hold on Lily’s hand again, eyes twinkling as his fingers wove through hers, his heart rate still rising when she didn’t try to draw back, and the pair of them bolted down the hall, up a flight of stairs that twisted ‘round the inside of Ravenclaw tower, into a fifth-floor corridor and they ran down the hall, headed toward the moving staircase…

Sirius Black had done it. He’d done it. The best prank ever. And for the best reason ever, too.

He’d run down the corridor with Peeves floating along after him, cackling and singing away - “Helping to save a Potty-Wee-Deer
Troublesome, troublesome ickle lad
Kissing Miss Evans
And making her mad
Potty-Wee-Potter, the naughty ol’ chap
Sleeping with Evans on the library floor
Even if you was just having a nap
We know Potty-Wee-Potter wanted s’more!”

Sirius ducked down the corridor by Filch’s office and leaned against the wall door listening.

“Caught, trespassing… out of bed past curfew… engaged in amorous activity… with an open alcohol container...” Filch was saying inside.

Sirius smirked. “Amorous activity indeed… Good one, James,” he whispered.

“Shall Peevesy go in and wreck havoc!?” Peeves asked, spinning in the air excitedly.

“No, Peeves,” Sirius said, spotting a suit of armor, “I have a better idea this time.”

Peeves pouted, “But Peevesy wants to help.”

“Oh you can help Peeves.”

“HOW?”

Sirius thought quick and then he grinned, “Go down make a mess in the Great Hall.”

Peeves grinned. “MOST EXCELLENT. Most excellent. I’m the bestest at making the mess-est!” and Peeves zipped away merrily.

“And that takes care of the poltergeist,” mumbled Sirius and he turned toward the first suit of armor. He stared up at it. “Alright, you, can you hear me?”

With a rusty creak, the armor nodded.

“Jolly good. Can you move off your plinth?” Sirius requested. “Surely you can. Rey says you lot defend the castle in times of need so you must move. Yeah?”

And the rusty armor nodded again.

“Excellent.” He grinned… and he started laughing… laughing because this brilliant, absolutely insanely stupid idea he’d had was going to actually work... “Down you hop, then… I have a job for you to do.”

There was a good deal of creaking of rusty metal and Sirius stepped back as the armor flexed it’s hinges for the first time in a long, long while and stepped off his plinth, down onto the carpet. It was so noisy, Sirius was surprised Filch’s office door hadn’t already opened up. Too involved in sentencing James Potter for snogging, he supposed. He turned back to the armor, which now stood before him.

“Alright here goes nothing… Blimey, I was hoping James would do this part when we pulled this prank - he’s such a lot better at Transfiguration than I am,” he explained to the armor. “Here goes nothing though.” He cleared his throat. “Transfigurar!” He waved his wand, nervously pointing from his own face to the faceplate of the suit of armor…

It took a couple tries - and Sirius kept glancing over his shoulder at the door of Filch’s office, his heart racing - “c’mon, c’mon, you can do this, Black, you got this!” he mumbled - but finally, finally, he stood there in the hallway, staring into his own grey eyes. He smirked. “Well look’it that,” he said, “I really am a fucking handsome son of a bitch.” He took a step back, looking at the armor from head to foot, beaming with pride at himself, and then he took his wand and waved it, “Toucar reverso alterar!” Nothing seemed to happen. He hoped it had worked - he would have no way of knowing until after.

His heart suddenly swelled with excitement. Now… to get the party started. “Wait here until I give you the signal,” Sirius told himself and he turned and ran off, the Armor-Sirius nodding, waiting.

Sirius had never laughed so hard in his life. He reached into his pocket, withdrawing a whizzbang and he held up his wand to the long trailing ignition strip, lighting it up, and with a flick of his wand, he waved for the Armor-Sirius to begin it’s walk down the corridor… CLANK, CLANK, CLANK, CLANK…. And Sirius held his wand to his throat. “Sonorous,” he said, laughing maniacally. The laughter echoed down the hallway loudly as the firecracker sped off toward Filch’s office at waist level…

The door to the office opened and Filch stuck out his head and looked and there were the two Sirius Blacks at the end of the hall and one waved to him and they both went off around the corner and Filch cried out, “Sirius Black!”

Then the firecracker whizzed by and Filch turned to see as it exploded, blowing out several windows, knocking over two more suits of armor and Filch bolted down the hall as both of the Sirius Blacks at the end of the hall turned ‘round the corridor. “SIRIUS BLACK! …. SIRIUS BLACK!” shouted Filch as he ran, his old boots slapping the carpet.

The real Sirius was much faster than the fake one and he pulled away quickly, throwing himself ‘round the next bend before the Armor-Sirius was even halfway down. He paused on the next corridor and waved his wand at another suit of armor, repeating the process as hurriedly as he could. “Transfigurar!” he said, “Toucar reverso alterar!”

Another Sirius Black went ambling down the hall with a CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK and on to the next corridor… and the next… and the next… and more Sirius Blacks CLANKED along behind him as he ran for the tapestry… He paused outside of McGonagall’s office to transfigure his favorite armor - the one who sang his Christmas songs for Minnie, and he grinned, “Transfigurar! You go and find Miss Minnie,” he told it, smirking evilly, “Tell her she’s a fabulous old witch and give her a smooch!” He winked at the armor and waved his wand to animate it off and it went off in search of Minerva McGonagall, CLANK CLANK CLANKing all the way as Sirius dove into the tapestry.

Behind him, Filch was going mad. He’d caught up to Sirius and he’d shouted, “I’VE GOT YOU NOW!” and grabbed onto Sirius’s arm and to his horror, Sirius Black had gone quite stiff very suddenly, and tipped over… shattering to pieces! For a split second, it still looked like Sirius and Filch panicked, wondering what Albus Dumbledore would do to him when he found out that he had somehow managed to shatter a student… and then the switching spell Remus had taught Sirius completed and the face and features of Sirius Black faded from the armor and it was just a helmet and some broken breast plate laying there on the carpet.

“SIRIUS BLACK!!!” shouted Filch, suddenly understanding why there’d been two of him, and he ran down the corridor, “SIRIUS BLACCCCKKK!!!”

It happened to him another five times - shattered Sirius’s turning into shattered suits of armor - before he ran past the tapestry on the third floor corridor, still searching for the elusive little bastard, shouting and screaming for him to come back but to no luck… Sirius Black had disappeared.

At least for Filch.

Downstairs on the second floor, Minerva McGonagall was yelling in her thick Scottish accent, “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, MR. BLACK!??!” and beating the Armor-Sirius over the head with her wand… He’d forgotten to put the switching charm on that last one.




Lily and James made it to the trophy room before Sirius emerged from the passageway and they stood there, collecting themselves as they waited for him.

Lily stood, staring out the frosty window at the grounds as they waited and James paced a moment behind her, looking in the display case at the trophy from the Tourney and his palms sweat a little, seeing his reflection in the little brass shield that bore his name. He gathered his strength about him and turned around to see Lily, too, had turned and they faced each other for a moment. James swallowed and took a step toward her… she took a step toward him… they met in the middle, just a single step between them.

“You’re truly alright, Evans?” he asked, “I mean with… you know… everything?”

Lily nodded.

“You aren’t cross with me? I didn’t… I didn’t take advantage of you, did I?” he was pink across his nose and his cheekbones.

“I… I kissed you, rather,” she said, “I may have taken advantage of you, really.”

James laughed. He hesitated. “What, um… what’s this mean? Like… you know. What’re… we?” he waved his hand between them.

“Dunno,” Lily replied.

James looked at his feet.

“I have to talk to Jasper before… before we… define anything.”

James looked up. He’d forgotten about Jasper entirely. Poor bloke. He nodded, he understood her not wanting Jasper to find out what happened in a non-gentle way...

“Please, don’t tell anyone what happened ‘til after I’ve had a chance to talk to him?” Lily asked.

James glanced at the portrait that would open at any moment and produce Sirius. “Evans --”

“I don’t want the whole school hearing about this yet,” Lily said. “It’s… it’s private. Between us.”

James nodded.

“Thank you.”

“You’ll let me know?” James asked.

Lily nodded.

He hesitated, “And… and you truly aren’t cross with me?”

“I’m truly not cross with you.”

James stared at her with a stare of intense longing. “Good. Good, I’m glad. Because I - I think you’re beautiful and amazing and I really ---” before he could finish the sentence, the portrait had burst open and Sirius Black had come running out, laughing, looking over his shoulder, and he slammed into James Potter’s side, knocking him down to the floor, landing on top of him in a heap.