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Super Sirius and Rat Boy


Sirius returned to the dorm very late, upon Newt Scamander’s insistence, and seeing as the bedding had not yet been changed out by the dutiful house elves, Sirius transformed and leaped up next to James. He just couldn’t imagine being alone in his own, still untouched bed. He curled up in a ball at James’s feet. That was exactly where James found him in the morning. He sat up and leaned forward so his chin was balanced on his knees and patted the big shaggy dog, and glanced at the window, watching the sunrise through the pane.

Peter lay awake in the next bed, staring at the ceiling, not speaking.

When it was time for breakfast, James nudged the dog awake and he turned back into a sleepy-looking Sirius and the three of them trudged down to the Great Hall without saying much of anything to one another, each one upset about his own problems.

The entrance hall was buzzing with activity as all the students wove amongst each other, headed for their house tables and greeting friends. The Marauders worked their way through, headed for Gryffindor table, and were just passing the entry doors, when a low voice sneered, “Convenient, isn’t it? Mr. Lupin getting sick just before the Full Moon?”

Sirius’s path was blocked suddenly by Severus Snape.

Severus grinned in amusement.

“You’ll shut your face if you know what’s good for you,” Sirius said. He tried to shove past Snape, but Severus side-stepped and blocked him again.

“I’m simply expressing my concern,” Snape said smoothly, “You see, I’ve been doing some thinking --”

“Careful, you may hurt yourself,” Sirius snapped.

“-- and it seems that Mr. Lupin is ill quite frequently, and consistently, around the time of the full moon.” Snape’s voice was quiet, but James still glanced around nervously, afraid that Severus would be overheard. Oh the rumors that would begin! He shivered at the thought of them. “Don’t you find it rather odd? Wouldn’t you think that there might be a reason for something like that?” Severus breathed.

“Helixio,” Peter suddenly said and Snape’s nose was suddenly wrenched in a twisting motion, making him grab onto his face as blood spouted from his nostrils and his palms went pup to cover the oversized appendage and James looked at Peter in surprise. Sirius, too, had raised his wand just before Peter had acted. Peter pushed ‘round Sirius, “You shut your big mouth! You shut it now! Remus Lupin is the nicest person in all the world and he’s nearly had his appendix burst! He’s upstairs right now recovering from an operation and its not fair because he ought to of been celebrating his birthday yesterday instead of crying out in pain and you’re nothing but a big nosed git that’s mean all of the time and tells lies and is stupid and your nose is fat and terrible and you’re ugly and I’m sick of how mean you make everyone be!” And, gasping because he’d said all of that in one single breath, Peter shoved the doubled over form of Snape against the door and ran in to Gryffindor table, where he flung himself onto the bench in the boys’ usual spot.

Sirius looked at James and James said, “Well, that about sums it up,” and he turned and followed after Peter.

“Stay out of other people’s business,” Sirius said to Snape, “Or you’ll find yourself in a worse state than that if I ever hear you talk about Remus Lupin again.” And he went into the hall as well.

Severus leaned against the door, still clutching his nose, until he heard Lily Evans’s voice. “Sev? What’s happened to you?”

“Potter,” Severus said, only half truthfully.

“Let me see, I’ll heal it for you,” Lily said, drawing her willow wand from her pocket and trying to gently pull Severus’s hands from his blood-streaked face.

“Is this mudblood bothering you, Severus?” came a voice suddenly, and a pair of arms pulled Lily back rather roughly - it was Walden McNair. She struggled against the grip he had on her elbow, but he was much stronger than she was. Beside him stood Germaine Avery, a twisted grin playing upon the repeat-seventh year’s face.

“Looks to me like she’s just bloodied his nose,” said Avery. “A lot of nerve you’ve got there, you filthy little mudblood, raising a wand to a wizard.”

“She didn’t do it,” Severus said.

“Don’t go defending her,” McNair said, “Saw it with my own eyes.”

“Liar,” Lily said, “You’ve not a clue what’s happened.”

Avery drew his own wand, “Let’s take her downstairs and teach her a lesson in the proper way mudbloods ought to be treated.” He grinned, his yellowed teeth showing beneath his lips, eyes dancing merrily. He snatched Lily’s wand from her fist just as she made to wave it and took hold of her second elbow, lifting her up easily.

“Fellas, c’mon --” Snape stammered. He was torn between helping Lily and stating on the good side of the two fierce elder boys, afraid to defend her, but afraid, too, of what they would do if he didn’t rescue her.

But Lily Evans needed no white horses to be rescued.

Lily kicked Avery in the shin - very hard - and wrenched her way out of McNair’s grasp as Avery doubled over and McNair jumped back, afraid of being kicked in a similar fashion. Lily picked up her wand, which Avery had dropped in his reaction to her strike. A good deal of people were looking now, from all around the entrance hall and just inside the doors of the Great Hall. She could feel them staring at her, “Don’t you ever use that word again, you arrogant little swine,” she said to Avery. She shook her head, “For Godric’s sake, I’m so bloody tired of all of the blasted bullying that goes on in this bleedin’ school! Why can’t we just all be nice to one another? Isn’t there enough hatred in the world without you idiots acting like this?” She turned and stormed into the Great Hall, sitting as far away from James Potter as possible, not wanting to face even one more bully today because she felt that if he opened his mouth for even a second to say something about Severus Snape, she would hit him with every hex she knew.

And it was probably a wise choice, too, as James, Peter, and Sirius were indeed talking about Severus Snape in low voices. Sirius was all worked up. “Bloody hell, Remus is going to have a horrid anxiety attack if he finds out about this,” Sirius said, “Severus Snape needs to leave him alone.”

Peter was still steaming, so angry that he’d barely touched his food.

James said, “Maybe we should tell Dumbledore.”

“Yeah ‘cos tellin’ Dumbledore about the things Snape’s done in the past has heralded real grand results, hasn’t it?” Sirius demanded, rolling his eyes.

James said, “Well what do you suggest we do then?”

Sirius shook his head, “Dunno.” He pursed his lips, “But I’ll think of something. Something that’ll make Snape sorry he ever stuck his fat ugly nose in our business to begin with.”

James stared down at his eggs.

“C’mon, as if you don’t want to hex the trousers off that greasy bastard,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes at James, “You, of all people, should be helping me think of some way to get him before he does something and exposes Remus to the whole school.”

James glanced down the table at Lily Evans, who was talking to Meg and McKenna. He turned back to Sirius, “Of course I do, but I think… I think we need to be more grown up about it.”

“More grown -- what the fuck, James?” Sirius demanded.

“What?”

“You. Acting like you wouldn’t love a chance to curse Snape.”

“I just don’t think it’s a great idea.”

Sirius followed James’s gaze, then turned back to him. “Evans said something, didn’t she?”

James shrugged.

“She did. She’s stolen my partner in crime. Bloody hell.”

“Well it’s true, we ought to be more mature. You’re sixteen and I nearly am and --”

“BE MORE MATURE? We have plenty of time to be mature when we’re older! We’re SIXTEEN!!!” Sirius cried. In his outrage, he waved his fork and a fried egg went flying down the table and smacked Frank Longbottom in the chest. “Besides, loads of mature people seek revenge on their enemies,” Sirius continued on.

“That’s how wars start,” Peter spoke up wisely.

James pointed at Peter.

“Well fine - fine, I don’t need you to be my partner in crime,” Sirius said, “Be mature, then, I don’t give a fuck. Pete, you’re my new sidekick. We’ll be Super Sirius and Rat Boy.”

Peter looked quite pleased with himself.

Down the table, Frank Longbottom peeled the fried egg from his lap and attempted to throw it back at Sirius - but he missed and the egg slapped Jackson Maw in the face instead. Jackson shot a spoonful of beans back and the spatter ended up on Ali Prewitt and Meg Johnston as well as on Frank and both girls shrieked and haucked fruit slices back at Jackson, Ali’s hit Tobias Clement and Meg’s were spot-on for Jackson, who didn’t realize his beans had hit her and he shot back with another spoonful of beans and ---

Suddenly there was a colossal amount of food being chucked about the Gryffindor table - people were shouting and ducking and James ended up slapped with Frank’s fried eggs and Sirius soon had gobs of beans up in his hair and the girls were screaming and Annalee was under the table crying for her hair and Ali Prewitt was laughing and using her chaser’s accuracy to purposely strike the wrong people so that as many of the Gryffindors as were possible were involved in the food fight.

Ravenclaws ducked at the next table to avoid errant food particles that were either exploding off their targets faces or else just completely missing them altogether and finally Marlene McKinnon was standing on the Ravenclaw bench, laughing and tossing fruit slices over, along with several over Ravenclaws and the food fight spread across the Great Hall like a pandemic until finally the Hufflepuffs and even the Slytherins were involved and Professor McGonagall was shouting at the front of the room for everyone to desist - and an egg flew through the air and landed on her hat, hanging there all yellow and smearing some of the underdone bit of yolk over the brim so that it dripped onto her face and she raised her wand to her throat, magnifying her voice, “ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!”

Everyone stopped.

A couple errant bits of bean dripped from the end of Sirius Black’s nose. He was grinning wildly.

“WHO STARTED THIS?” McGonagall demanded.

All the Hufflepuffs, Slytherins, and Ravenclaws pointed to Gryffindor table and all the Gryffindors pointed to Frank Longbottom. And Frank said, “Actually, Sirius started it!”

McGonagall glared at Sirius.

Sirius grinned, “I mean, c’mon, Minnie, that was awesome, I’ll take a detention for this anytime!”

And the time, Professor McGonagall decided, would be Saturday after lunch.




“Well look - look who’s awake.”

Remus’s eyes fluttered open. The first thing he noticed was that he felt better than he had in probably a month. The pain that had been throbbing in his belly was gone, all that was left was the constant dull ache that he had always been quite used to all of his life. He blinked about the room and his eyes landed on Mr. Scamander sitting beside him, having lowered a magazine titled The Best Beast Breeder Bi-Monthly with a big picture of a gryffin on the cover. He had reading glasses on the very end of his nose, which he was peering over awkwardly at Remus, his overlarge teeth resting on his lower lip. A little green bowtruckle was peeking ‘round a suspender, his leafy hands hanging over the hem of the breast pocket on Newt’s shirt.

Remus struggled to sit up and ran a palm over his stomach. There was a bandage there. “What’s happened?” he asked.

“You - you’ve had your appendix removed,” Newt replied. “Did it myself. Don’t worry. Pomfrey’s put on, uh, an - an ointment on that, so - so you won’t scar.” He pointed at the bandage Rey had his hand over.

Remus looked up, “I was hardly worried about scarring, Mr. Scamander -- bit late for that, don’t you think?”

Newt smiled sadly. “Never too late, really.”

Remus glanced about the room and sort of ran his hand over the side of the bed as though checking for something.

“He’s not there,” Newt said. “Spent half the - the night here, Sirius Black. I finally told him to go off to, uh, to bed and not to come back ‘til after - after he ate a proper breakfast.”

Remus looked at Newt. “Oh.”

Newt leaned forward and pressed his hand awkwardly over Remus’s face, his palm on Remus’s cheek and forehead. He nodded, “Ah yes, there you are, much better.” He smiled, “Not as - as hot as you once were.” He smiled, “Yes, you’ll - you’ll live, it seems. Very good.”

“Yeah, brilliant,” Remus nodded. He groaned as he moved and Newt said, “You’ll need to be careful with the moon, of course, I insist you transform in my briefcase again this month so we can monitor you carefully.”

Remus sighed. Sirius was going to be upset. But it wasn’t as though he could help it. His very body was working against him. “Alright.”

Newt Scamander nodded, “It’s decided then.”

Madam Pomfrey heard them talking and came into the room then, hustling over to inspect Remus and be sure that everything was in order. It was after Pomfrey had finished her administrations that she stepped back and there was Sirius Black at the foot of Remus’s bed.

“Moony! You’re up!” he smiled. “How are you feeling, mate?”

Remus said, “Better than I have in a bit…” he stared at Sirius a moment. “Padfoot… what’s that in your hair?”

Sirius reached up and pulled out a half of a fried egg. He looked at it a second, then tossed it aside (Madam Pomfrey clucked in disapproval and waved her wand to clear it off the floor), “Just an egg is all, Moonshine.” Sirius ducked ‘round the bed and grabbed hold of Remus’s hand, kissing his knuckles adoringly.

“Why is there an egg in your hair?” Remus asked.

Sirius looked up into his eyes. “Because Frank Longbottom wasn’t eating beans.”

Remus’s face was one of pure confusion.