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Lily

One of the awful boys from the train had been sorted into Gryffindor.

Well, thought Lily, tightening her grip on Severus’s hand, that settled that - she definitely did not want to be sorted to Gryffindor if that was the sort that ended up in that house! She couldn’t imagine spending the entire term with Sirius Black sharing the same breathing space as her. It made her shudder. Besides - it would be utter chaos, him and Severus together in one room all term! They’d be fighting constantly!

Lily watched a couple more students sorted - Carin, Dorothy and Drewer, Penelope both went to Hufflepuff - and then Professor McGonagall called, “Evans, Lily!”

The world seemed to stop. She turned, panicked, to Severus. “I’m scared Sev,” she whispered in a rush. She stared up at him. Her palms were all sweaty and she didn’t want to let go of his hand - it felt safe. This was the moment they’d both been waiting for, constantly talking about for two years, and now that it was here she was too terrified to take the step towards the stool.

Severus’s pale face stared back at her with a hint of a gentle smile growing beneath his dark, sparkling eyes. “Go on,” he said, encouraging her. “You’ll be brilliant.”

“What if I trip on the way up to the stool?” she asked. She’d asked him this at least a hundred times before, probably a hundred times a day even, and she knew, even as she said the words exactly what he would say in reply.

“Then I’ll catch you,” Severus said, “I’ll always catch you, Lily.”

She took a deep breath, steadying her nerves with his words.

“But I won’t have to,” he said, “You’ll be okay. I’ll see you in a minute at the Slytherin table!” Severus pulled her hand away from his and pushed her gently forward.

Lily swallowed and turned, nervously climbing the steps to the stool and sat down gingerly upon it. Professor McGonagall smiled down at her, “There you are, m’deary,” she said, her Scottish accent lilting the words. Despite the harshness of her face, Professor McGonagall had a really kind smile and it was comforting, so Lily smiled back and McGonagall said, “Here comes the hat, dear,” then dropped it onto her head.

The last thing Lily saw before the hat covered her eyes was the hopeful, eager look of anticipation on Severus’s face.

“Interesting…” said a voice. Lily jumped in surprise. The hat hadn’t been talking aloud to anyone else. She panicked for a moment, wondering if everyone could hear it. “No,” the Hat replied, “Only me and you. Anything we say here is between us. No one else can hear us.”

“Even me?” she whispered.

“Even you,” answered the Hat.

“You must use magic to create a soundproof barrier, then?” she questioned.

“Yes. We’re under a muffliato charm,” the Hat explained. The Hat chuckled in her ear, “Yes… yes… exactly. You are a smart one, aren’t you? Yes… yes I see, very smart indeed. Hmm… And a hard worker, too. I see a lot of ambition, but not overdone… Goodness, but you are a powerful witch, you’ll do amazing things - very amazing things.. Hmm.”

“Are you looking at my brains?” Lily questioned.

“I am. Your driving forces, as well, looking at what makes you tick,” the Hat said. “You’ve got a lot of love in you. That’s a mighty, ancient power that many wizards don’t understand the scope of. You’re a rare one, Lily Evans. Very rare indeed. Now… where to put you… You’d do marvelous in Ravenclaw, with such a quick wit and smarts…”

Lily felt her stomach twist. “Please,” she told the hat, “Let me be in Slytherin. I want to be with my friend Severus and he’s going to be in Slytherin, his whole family’s been. Please.”

The hat chuckled again. “Slytherin? You in Slytherin? Goodness me, no that would never work. Didn’t you listen to a moment of my song? A muggle-born in Slytherin… really…”

“Please,” she begged, “Sev needs me.”

“Needs you?” the Hat said, “You don’t understand, you’d be eaten alive in Slytherin… You wouldn’t ever fit in.”

Lily answered, “I can take it. It doesn’t matter that I won’t fit in. I need to be with Severus. We’re best friends, you see, and he oughtn’t to be alone. He needs a friend to talk to, and - and I can’t just go off and be in Ravenclaw without him! Don’t you see? I’m willing to take on whatever the Slytherins can chuck at me to stay with Sev.”

The Hat was quiet for a moment. Something about how it felt made Lily think that if Hats could smile then this one certainly would have done. “Well, Lily Evans,” said the Hat, “You’ve certainly convinced me. Ravenclaw truly isn’t the right house for you. You’re right.”

“So… I’m off to Slytherin then?” Lily asked happily.

“Oh goodness no, I stand by what I said about Slytherin. You’re far too brave for Slytherin, Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw,” the Hat said. At the word ‘brave’ a chasm split open in Lily’s stomach. “Best to be --”

“No, no please, not --” Lily began but before she could finish --

“GRYFFINDOR!”

Professor McGonagall pulled the Hat off Lily’s head and her hair fell ‘round her shoulders and she sat there on the stool, utterly perplexed, her palms on her thighs, blinking into the bright light of the Great Hall. Though it was blurry, she could see the Gryffindors had all stood up and begun cheering and punching the air with enthusiasm, but she could only clearly see the heartbroken, lost look on Severus’s face. Gone was the excited gleam, that sparkle in his eye. His pale face just stared up at her, and his nostrils flared with emotion as he set his jaw and watched her get up from the stool rather numbly.

“Off you go,” McGonagall said, shooing her towards the Gryffindor table, “Right over that way, Miss. Evans, have a seat.”

Lily nodded and started for the cheering Gryffindors, glancing back at Severus and trying to force a smile, but it was too hard and it faltered and she had to look away before she began to cry or something equally embarrassing.

“Gryffindor! All right!” Sirius was excitedly moving down to make Lily some space.

She thought she would’ve rathered sit anywhere at all than next to Sirius Black. She left quite a bit of space between the two of them and turned her back resolutely to stare at the front of the room as the sorting continued. The next two Gryffindors were also boys - Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Remus slid into the space between Lily and Sirius, heartily celebrating with his new friend from the trains, which Lily was quite thankful for the buffer between herself and the boy she couldn’t stand. Peter, however, sat obnoxiously close to Lily and looked her over appraisingly with his beady little eyes and rather large front teeth before turning around dismissively. Lily felt immediately uncomfortable with Peter Pettigrew, though she didn’t know why, he was just a twitchy, strange little boy with odd mannerisms. She inched a bit closer to Remus, not that she was much more comfortable with him, but he was certainly preferable to Peter or Sirius.

“Potter, James!”

Lily watched the other boy she couldn’t stand swagger up to the stool and sit down upon it with an air of assured confidence, his robes riding up to reveal his maroon and gold trainers. He grinned and gave Sirius a thumbs-up. But just before McGonagall dropped the hat upon him, his eyes met Lily’s and he grinned, a silly, wonky sort of grin, and he winked at her, then disappeared beneath the Sorting Hat.

Lily felt her stomach flip over. She wondered what in Merlin’s name had made James Potter wink at her and what it had meant that he had. She looked around and spotted Severus scowling in the crowd of still-waiting first years, staring up at James Potter with a hateful glare that could’ve curdled milk. She wondered if Severus had seen the wink, if he thought her allegiances had changed so quickly. Surely he knew her better than that, she thought. But just in case, she made a very important mental note to tell him so as soon as she possibly could get a chance to. In fact - she thought, as Peter twitched and Sirius hissed ‘come on, Gryffindor, say it hat’ - she would go to the headmaster after the feast and tell him she’d been sorted into the wrong house. She looked up at Dumbledore and pictured the look of dismay and understanding that would cross over those wrinkled features. Of course he would immediately switch her to Slytherin and all would be well.

“GRYFFINDOR!” the Hat had taken barely a moment to choose and James flung it off into McGonagall’s hand rather quickly and rushed the Gryffindor table, running up one side and back down the length of the other, slapping high-fives to every outstretched palm on his way, grinning as though he’d just won the Quidditch World Cup or something.

“Yes! YES! YES!” Sirius was yelling, jumping up onto his bench seat and shouting, waving his hands in the air like a crazy person as James hurried down to where they were sitting, out of breath, and hair messily flung ‘round his forehead.

When James reached her, Lily didn’t extend her hand to return his high-five and he slapped Peter Pettigrew’s half-heartedly, standing before her, their eyes locked. He grinned at her. “Push down,” he said, indicating he wanted the space next to her.

“What in the world makes you think that I would want you to sit next to me?” she demanded, “You’re such an assuming, arrogant little --”

“I want to sit next to my friends,” James interrupted, indicating Remus and Sirius, who were turned to face them. Lily felt her face grow flush and she scooted down. James leaned in. “Now who’s the assuming, arrogant one, ey?” He winked again.

Lily turned her back, and found herself face-to-twitchy-face with Peter Pettigrew.

“You’re the only girl,” he said.

“What?” Lily looked around as Peter pointed down the table. There were other girl Gryffindors, but as for new first years in the Gryffindor house… well, it was just Sirius, James, Remus, Peter and… her.

“You’re the only girl,” Peter Pettigrew repeated.

Lily turned to face forward, feeling stunned, just as the hat was shouting, “SLYTHERIN!” She looked up and realized she’d missed seeing Severus Snape be sorted and he was already handing McGonagall the sorting hat back and heading over to the Slytherin table, where a tall, pale blonde haired boy with a shining badge pinned to his chest was standing up and welcoming him warmly to the table.

She had never felt so alone in all of her life.