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Why James Potter?


“If you’re going to get him out of here, you’ll need me.”

Sirius stared at Severus with an expression of distaste. He didn’t fancy needing Snivellus Snape for anything. In fact, he reckoned if it had been very near to anybody else whimpering there on the carpet he would’ve told Snape exactly where he could shove his help and blast the greasy-headed twatwaffle right into next Tuesday, but as it were, James let out a moan of pain and Lily’s cracked voice said, “Severus… please.”

Sirius grit his teeth.

Severus was still staring at Sirius with an expression of antagonistic amusement and Sirius withered and said, teeth still grit, “Will you help us?”

Severus raised his eyebrows in expectation. When Sirius didn’t continue, he asked, “And what is the… magic… word?”

Sirius was seething.

Lily stared up from the floor, her hand still on James’s chest, her eyes wide and moist. “Please,” she repeated.

But Severus wanted Sirius to say it. He stared at Sirius and waited.

Sirius took a deep breath. “Please,” he said, humiliated.

“Of course,” Severus said, as though he’d never thought of doing anything else. He turned to James and Lily then and Sirius’s face clouded over. Severus drew his wand from his sleeve, bit it between his teeth, and bent down, lifting James Potter up over his shoulder somewhat roughly, so that he held James’s legs with his arms and James’s torso leaned over Severus’s shoulders.

“Ow no no nonoonoono!” cried James, and he began to sob and whimper, his voice cracking around the edges as he begged, “Nooo, please!”

“You’re hurting him!” cried Lily, her eyes as full of tears as James’s were, “Don’t hurt him, please don’t hurt --”

“Hurting him is not a part of the deal, you great ---” Sirius started in, but Severus cleared his throat to stop him, interrupting the anger coming from Sirius’s tone.

Severus took his wand from his teeth and aimed, “Stupefy,” he hissed and James went out cold, hanging limply from Severus’s shoulder.

Lily covered her mouth with her hands.

“There,” Severus said. “Now, aren’t you going to go get your furry little boyfriend?” he added, nodding at Sirius.

Sirius hesitated. He did need to go get Remus. But then again, Snape could really do with some supervision -- clearly, he had no intention of actually being careful of James Potter. The thought of James coming to from his stupefy and feeling that pain again turned Sirius’s stomach. But Lily would be with Severus, surely Lily wouldn’t let Severus actually hurt James… right? Sirius looked to Lily.

“Go get Rey and Maryrose,” Lily nodded, “I’ll go with Sev.”

Sirius antagonized a moment longer, then, before anything else could be said, he hurried out the door of the library.

Severus looked to Lily. “Sev?”

She glared at him. “Let’s go.”

They started for the corridor and Lily jabbed her head out first to see that the hall was clear before Severus came through with Lily behind. “If we’re caught,” Severus said, hoisting James again since he was starting to slip a little, “I’ve captured you and we’re on our way to Karkaroff, got it?” he demanded.

Lily said, “Alright.” She paused. “Severus, how do I know that we aren’t anyway?”

“Because you’re here and I wouldn’t let anything hurt you, Lily.”

Because I love you too much, Severus finished the words in his head.

Lily said, “But you’ve hurt me, Sev.”

He held onto James’s legs as they moved down the corridor, and he thought of the look on Lily Evans’s face when he’d called her mudblood, the perfect mix of shock and absolute horror, and how she’d backed off and run away and how she’d been barely able to look at him since. He shivered, the worst memory of his life burning through his mind horribly. He wanted to say that he was sorry, but the words wouldn’t form themselves around his tongue and he squared his jaw, frustrated with himself.

Lily walked silently. Then, “Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” Severus asked through grinding teeth.

“The polyjuice,” Lily replied, “Letting the Dark Lord take James like that… letting him hurt him? I know James was a bully to you but… that’s not an excuse for… for this…” she waved her hand at the broken nature of James’s body dangling over Severus Snape’s shoulder.

Severus stared straight ahead as they turned and started walking downwards through the stairwell.

“Severus, tell me the truth about what happened last Christmas.”

He felt his heart slow… along with the gait of his walk. He adjusted James against his shoulder again and the other boy’s breath came sharp with pain, even in his unconscious state.

“Did James really attack you?” Lily pressed.

Severus hesitated.

They were nearing the bottom of this flight of stairs, nearing the little entrance hall, leading the way back toward the boats, the way that Lily had come so many hours ago with the boys and Maryrose. She still had the knot of fear in her stomach that she’d carried the first time they’d come this way, except this time, instead of it being fear for James Potter’s life, it was fear for his injures, fear for what sort of state his mind and heart would be in when he woke up. It was fear for Sirius, Remus, Maryrose and, most especially, for Regulus.

The last being something she’d never expected to feel in her entire life.

Severus tried very hard not to listen into all these thoughts, but her mind was unguarded and her emotions made the words of her thoughts spill over the edges of her like boiling water over the sides of a pot.

Lily’s voice echoed a bit in the dark corridor, walking past the portraits of the ancient portraits of Durmstrang’s past headmasters. “Sev, please. It doesn’t make a difference anymore, does it? I - I think I love him whether he did it or not because - well, I’m sure you - you antagonized him or - or something if he did and -”

Severus scowled.

Lily paused. “Severus.”

“No, okay? Alright?” Severus’s voice was harsh. “No. He didn’t. He didn’t attack me. I pushed him to. I wanted to duel. I wanted to fight. I wanted to fight for you, Lily, but the coward wouldn’t raise his wand to duel me!” Severus’s voice cracked, “As though James Potter could win in a duel against me!”

The flash of a thought that went through Lily’s mind…

Severus paused walking, closing his eyes as though physically pained.

Lily paused, too, having taken a couple steps more than Severus, she turned back to face him and she could see on his face that he’d heard what she’d just thought and she shook her head, “You’re doing it, aren’t you? Looking at my thoughts?”

“You don’t think I’d beat him in a duel? In a fair duel, man to man?” Severus choked by way of admitting his occlumency had wandered.

“You shouldn’t be looking at my mind.” Lily said.

You won’t like what you’re going to see, she thought.

“I have loved you for years, Lily,” Severus breathed. Tears filled his eyes. “Why?, Lily? Why not me? Why James Potter?”

“I’m sorry,” Lily shrugged. “I don’t know, Severus. It just is.”




Sirius was running up the stairs full tilt, headed the direction he prayed would bring him to the tower room, where he hoped to find not only Remus and Maryrose but perhaps Peter as well… He held his wand in his fist, his teeth still grit from the humiliation that Severus Snape had put him through in order to gain the rescue James so desperately needed...

He still may die, whispered Achlys. No matter what you do for him. He was in horrible shape. Or else, his mind may be gone. Voldemort may have tortured his mind straight out of him, just as he did to Maggie Pettigrew. He may never be the same again.

She continued, Even if he doesn’t die, you still may have lost him.

Not now, Achlys, Sirius pushed her away, This is hard enough without you.

But he felt sick.

Because he knew she could be right.

Suddenly there were voices ahead of him in the stairwell, loud and echoing off the stone and he could hear the snapping and hissing of magic spells and his heart quickened, his grip tightening on the wand.

He expected to find Remus and Maryrose, perhaps dueling one or two opponents…

Instead the first person he ran into was Chriselda Blythe.

Her face was scarlet and tears were pouring over her cheeks. “He was here, Bil, he was here, I saw him… I saw Derek… I saw him,” she was sobbing.

Bilius Weasley had his arms on her shoulders, guiding her carefully, pale faced.

“Bil!” Sirius exclaimed in surprise, “Professor Blythe!”

Bilius looked up at Sirius, “Sirius!”

Blythe struggled against Bilius, “I have to go back Bil, he’s here, he’s here - Derek’s --”

“He isn’t here!” Bilius said firmly, “He’s not Chrissy!”

“I SAW HIM!” she sobbed.

And around the corner behind them next came Peter Pettigrew, panting, followed by Dorcas Meadowes and on her shoulders hung a most pitiful Remus Lupin, looking ragged, limping, his knees bending on the stairs, his face wincing with the pain. Maryrose Jenkins had taken up his other arm, her hands clutching onto Remus’s jumpers, her face streaked with tears, her hair frazzled and sticking up funny…

“S-sirius!” Peter choked, “Sirius… Did… did you find James?” His voice shook.

“Yes,” Sirius said, “Lily’s taking him out of the castle now, back to the Morris Mini.”

And then, the Prewett Twins came about the corner, their backs to the cluster on the stairs, their wands raised, white-hot magic shooting from the wandtips as they maintained a massive shield charm that filled the corridor, like a glistening pearly wall. Gideon looked back over his shoulder. “Bloody hell, people, we haven’t the time for a reunion on the stairs. MOVE!”

“Yes, yes, more running, less chattering,” Fabian agreed, his wand arm shaking.

And Sirius saw through the pearly white wall that there were spells striking it, trying to wear it down, and with every strike, Fabian’s arm shook all the harder. Gideon grit his teeth and held his wand with both arms as the shield tremored.

Sirius ran to Dorcas and Maryrose and he swept Remus Lupin up into his arms to relieve the boy’s knees completely. Remus winced and let out a whimper of pain, too weak even to speak… “This way,” Sirius said, turning to lead them back the way he’d come, “This way.” He led them downward, turning back through the castle, all their collective footsteps echoing on the stone stairwell, the shouts of the Death Eaters muffled through the Prewetts twins’ shield, their threats impossible to ignore as they cried out barbaric things they would do to the lot of them the moment they could break through the charms…

You’ll never get away! Bellatrix was shrieking and Sirius couldn’t help but think how much she sounded like Achlys, who was telling him exactly the same thing…

Remus clung onto Sirius’s neck.

They reached the entrance hall.

The Death Eaters right behind them.

They ran for the corridor that led out into the bay and as they turned one of the corners in the dark, Maryrose let out a yelp when she saw Lily Evans ahead of them with Severus Snape, James Potter flung over his shoulder… “Put him down!” She cried, thinking Severus to be the enemy. “Don’t hurt him!” she raised her wand, running ahead.

Severus saw her and he turned from Lily, his eyes were red with frustration from the conversation they had been having, his arms clutching onto the groaning, pain-soaked James Potter. And Lily looked up, too, “Maryrose, he’s helping us,” Lily said.

And Severus’s face paled as he saw the Death Eaters coming beyond the shield charm, as Peter Pettigrew and Dorcas and Bilius and Chriselda and Sirius and Remus and Gideon and Fabian all rounded the corner, the shields crackling, weakening as the Death Eaters grew more and more desperate, and the corridor was ending - soon they’d step into the wide open cavern of the bay and the gates of Durmstrang and there would be no way that they could block the whole of that room.

The true fight would begin the moment they stepped through the doorway.

Sirius realized suddenly.

The little boat that they’d come in --


It would never fit all of these people.

Lily had the same realization, looking over the cluster of them. That little boat had barely fit herself, Remus, Regulus, Maryrose, and Sirius earlier. It had been at full capacity then. And now they had James and… oh Peter, Peter was worth two! And there was the Resistance members as well now and Severus, too, because they couldn’t just leave him there...

Lily stared at Sirius, “Now what?!” she shrieked. The Prewett twins were nearly to the end of the corridor.

Sirius looked around.

And then, “We’re going to need a bigger boat.”

“A bigger boat?” Lily asked.

And Sirius nodded at the bay.

Sitting at its dock, tall and skeletal in shape, was the black mass of the Durmstrang ship.

Lily looked at Sirius.

“What do you say, love?” Sirius asked, “Shall we be pirates?”