Faithfully
Chapter 16
By Dottie
Copyright 2016
After several hours at the hospital and much to Nick’s chagrin, I’m sent home and put on complete bed rest. Due to my small size, my body is breaking down from carrying Haley Jo. Right now, her estimated weight is almost 4 pounds. I’m definitely having a C-section…I just have to try to make it another 4 weeks.
Once I’m settled in bed, Nick hovers by my side. “What do you need?”
I glance around. “I need to call Hanna Jo before she gets on a plane.”
Nick smiles. “Too late. She and AJ will be here by dawn.”
I sigh. “She’ll drive me crazy.”
He nods. “Yeah, I figured. But once she sees you’re ok, AJ is going to try to make her go home.”
I grab his hand. “Are you ok?”
He nods. “I am now that I know you are.”
He tries to pull away but I won’t let him. “Nick, I don’t mean about Haley Jo, I mean about us. Are you ok?”
I can see he’s struggling to find the words. Finally, he says, “I’m scared Jessi.”
I fight to control the tremor in my voice. “I am too, Nick. But when I try to imagine my life without you…” I take a shaky breath. “Did you really try to kill yourself?”
He manages to loosen my grip on his hand and he stands. While he paces around the room, he mutters, “Not consciously. I think I just…I didn’t do what the doctors said when I got out of the hospital.” He turns his back and looks out the window. “I started drinking…constantly. My heart was gone…I didn’t want to live my life without you so I thought I’d do everything in my power to end it…but I couldn’t do it.”
I swallow hard, his confession scaring me. “Why Nick?”
He turns. “I kept hoping some day you’d forgive me.”
Before I can stop him, he’s out the door at almost a run. I want to go after, but I can’t. If I stand, I could go into labor. I lean against the headboard and let the tears flow freely. I can see how guilty he feels. I don’t know how I’ll convince him I forgive him, but I have to find a way. I need him. I love him. Our baby will need us both.
I grab my phone and text him. “Please come back.”
It takes half an hour for him to come back. When I see him standing in the door, I whisper, “Are you ok?”
He shrugs. “I’m sorry Jessi. I shouldn’t have told you that.”
I hold out my hand. “Nick, come over here.” I can see him fighting it. “Please?”
He walks over slowly and perches on the edge of the bed. I grab his hand and I place it on my stomach. “Nick, this baby is going to need us both. I’m not saying we’re going to be ok overnight, but we both have to try. I want Haley Jo to know the greatest man I’ve ever known…you…her Daddy.”
I watch his face as he stares at my stomach. His hand moves slowly across it, following her movements. Tears sting my eyes but I don’t let them fall. He looks up at me. “I’ve always loved you Jessi.”
I smile. “I know. I’ve always loved you Nick.”
He scoots closer and moves his hand. For several minutes we watch as Haley Jo’s hands and feet push out. When they do, he covers them, letting her know he’s there. Finally, he looks up. “What can I do for you?”
I struggle to breathe. “Nick, there’s one thing I want more than anything…please don’t say no.”
He meets my gaze. “I’ll do anything for you Jessi.”
I cover his hand on my stomach. “I want…I want you to marry me again. Before Haley Jo is born. I want to be your wife.”
Nick’s POV
Jessi’s been sleeping for a few hours. AJ called to tell me their flight had landed and they’d be arriving soon. I made a pot of coffee and waited, watching the sun come up over the horizon.
Yes, I was awake all night. Jessi floored me. I told her I’d do it, but I don’t know if I can. I want her to be my wife more than anything in this world, but I don’t know if she really wants me. I think she feels guilty because of what Donnie did to me. But how could I say no? I’d give her anything.
I see the car stop in front of the house and I can’t help but smile watching as AJ jumps out. He reaches into the back to get Todd and tears sting my eyes. He’s so happy. And I can see why. Hanna Jo is right by his side. She’s changed so much. She’s confident and from where I stand, she’s a hell of a wife and mother.
I open the door as they start up on the porch. She drops the diaper bag and her purse and grabs me in a warm embrace. “I’m so glad you’re here Nick!”
I squeeze her tightly. “You look great Hanna Jo.”
We part slowly and she whispers, “You look like hell.”
We all laugh and I manage to quip, “It’s been a rough day. Come in.”
Once they are inside, AJ plucks his son from the car seat. “Nick, I’d like you to meet Todd…your godson.”
When he places the sleeping baby in my arms I almost panic. But the minute I look into his face, I feel a sort of peace wash over me. I snuggle him close and say, “Thank God he looks like Hanna Jo.”
We all laugh and he mutters, “Asshole. How’s Jessi?”
I look up. “She was sleeping last time I checked. She’s been in a lot of pain. I don’t know how she’ll make it four weeks.”
Hanna Jo kisses my cheek. “I’m going to stay here and help you with her.”
From upstairs, I hear Jessi call out, “Nick?”
I sigh and say, “Another bathroom break.” I put Todd back in AJ’s arms and say, “Come on Ho Jo…I think she’s gonna be happy to see you.”
When we get to the bedroom, Jessi is on her side with her eyes closed. I smile at Hanna Jo and say, “What’s wrong Jessi?”
She grimaces. “I need to pee. I’m so sick of just laying here. I constantly need to pee.”
Hanna Jo puts her hand on my back and says, “Well, get used to it Sister.”
Jessi’s eyes fly open and she smiles brightly. “Ho Jo! When did you get here?”
Hanna Jo bends down to kiss her forehead. “About five minutes ago.”
I step closer to the bed. “Why don’t I get you to the bathroom and then you and Hanna Jo can talk.”
Jessi looks up at me critically. “Did you sleep any?”
I manage to smirk and lie smoothly. “Yes, I did. Now, do you want help or do you want to pee in the bed?”
She sticks her tongue out at me. “You’re a lousy liar Carter. Promise me you’ll sleep?”
Hanna Jo watches us with surprise on her face. She mutters, “He will. AJ and I are here to help.”
I scoop Jessi up into my arms. She looks at Hanna Jo. “Can you get me a bottle of water Ho Jo?”
As Hanna Jo leaves, I carry Jessi into the bathroom and help her do what needs to be done. When she’s back in bed, she whispers, “Get some rest Nick. Please?”
I can’t stop myself from smiling at her. “I will if you promise to have them wake me up if you need anything.”
She touches my cheek. “I promise.”
I wait for Hanna Jo to come back before I leave the room. When I get to the living room, AJ is asleep on the couch with Todd lying on his chest. I cover them up and go to my room. I sit on the bed wondering what to do. Should I really marry Jessi? I grab my phone and find Dr. Nguyen’s number. Now that Jessi gave her permission to talk to me, I want to know everything. I want to know I’m making the right decision. I want Jessi to be my wife. I want to start living my life again. With my family.
Chapter End Notes:
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