Faithfully
Chapter 22
By Dottie
Copyright 2016
Nick’s POV
And just like that, I’m right where I’m supposed to be. With my wife and daughter. Jessi and Haley Jo came home after 3 days in the hospital. After assuring AJ and Hanna Jo we’d be in Canada soon, they left and now it’s just us. Haley Jo is 12 days old and I’m thoroughly hooked on my daughter. She’s got me wrapped around her little finger and she doesn’t even know it.
Jessi, however, knows. She teases me about it. But it’s all good. For a long time I thought I’d never even see her again let alone be married to her again. I spoke to Dr. Nguyen about it. She assures me that Jessi and I belong together and the only thing we need to focus on is the future. So, for Jessi’s sake, for Haley Jo, and for me, that’s what I’m trying to do. Until…
I’m playing my guitar when a sound distracts me. I stop and listen. I feel fear rush through my veins when I realize it’s Jessi. She’s crying. I put aside my guitar and race through the house. When I get to the bedroom, she’s staring at her computer with tears streaming down her face. “Jessi, what’s wrong?”
She looks up at me. “Oh Nick!” She puts aside her computer and holds out her arms. I sit beside her and hold her close. She sobs, “I…I didn’t realize…Thad never told me…”
At the mention of Thad, I tense up. “What is it?”
She pulls away from me. “The sentencing. I saw the news; it’s going to be in a few days. They sentenced Paul a couple of days ago.”
I take her hand. “Jessi, it’s all over. They are going to pay for every ounce of pain they caused you.”
She nods. “I know…I just…I’m furious.”
My mouth drops. “What do you mean?”
She sighs. “I should have been there. I should have gone into that courtroom and faced Paul. They’ll never know they didn’t beat me if I don’t.”
I shake my head. “Jessi, what are you saying?”
She looks up at me. “I’m going to Donnie’s sentencing. I…I have to Nick. He has to know he didn’t win. He has to know he didn’t beat us.”
I feel very uneasy about this. “Baby are you sure you should? I mean…”
She sighs and pulls away to stand. “Nick I have to be there. He can’t…Paul said it was all my fault. I wasn’t there to speak at his sentencing. I have to be at Donnie’s. The judge needs to know…Donnie needs to see that no matter what happened, he didn’t fucking break me.”
I don’t know what to say. Finally I stand and move closer to her. I put my hands on her shoulders and whisper, “Whatever you need Jessi. If you want to go, I’ll go with you.”
She turns and looks up at me. “Really? You mean it? You’ll go with me?”
I nod, knowing this is why she was crying. She’s still worried I’ll run out on her. I have a lot to prove to this lady, starting now. I smile softly and whisper, “Of course I will. You think I’d let you do this all alone? Jessi, I love you. I won’t say I’m over feeling guilty about what happened to you, but…being with you is where I’m supposed to be. And if you feel this strongly about facing Donnie, well then I think we should do it together.”
She slides her arms around my waist and puts her head on my chest. “Nick, will you speak? About what he did to you?”
I can’t help but stiffen up. She steps back and I look down into her big blue eyes. “I don’t know Jessi.”
She sniffles. “Nick, Thad let me read your deposition.”
I feel the blood drain from my face. “Jessi…”
She shakes her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. From the monitor, we hear Haley Jo start to cry. She steps away from me to go take care of the baby. At the door, she turns to look at me. “Until the day I die I’ll hate Donnie Wahlberg for what he did to you. I won’t let him win. I won’t!”
I watch her run from the room, not sure what to do. I follow her to the baby’s temporary room, watching as she sits gently in the rocking chair and puts Haley Jo to her breast. She looks up at me and I whisper, “He won’t win. I’ll go and I’ll speak if you want me to.”
She holds out her hand. I walk closer and drop to my knees by her chair. She whispers, “I love you Nick. Until we’ve both purged him from our lives, we can’t move on like we want to. Do you understand?”
I nod quickly because I do understand. “For all the ways he’s hurt you…hurt us…he’s gonna pay Jessi. I’ll make sure of it.”
He leans closer and kisses me. “I love you Nick.”
I kiss her cheek, then her nose, her lips, before dipping my head and kissing the curve of her breast just above where our daughter is nursing. I kiss Haley Jo’s head before looking up at Jessi. “I love you too Jessi. I love you both. Always.”
After Haley Jo goes back to sleep, I convince Jessi to rest. While she’s napping, I call Dr. Nguyen and she agrees to a web session with me. When we’re on Skype and I explain to her what Jessi wants, she smiles proudly. “Nick, this is a good thing. Sure it’s going to be hard on her and she’ll probably be vulnerable for a while after the sentencing, but she needs to face him. I think you both do.”
I close my eyes. “I just wish I could go back and stop him.”
Dr. Nguyen’s tone of voice goes a long way to soothe me. “Nick, even if you could change what happened, it wouldn’t change the fact that Jessi needs to face what has happened to her. Not just Donnie’s attack, but what happened at the bank, and what happened to her in college. She never processed her emotions from all of that. She bottled it up inside. She has to let it out or one day it will drive her to do something drastic.”
I think my heart stopped beating. “What do you mean?”
She pauses briefly before saying, “Nick, I really can’t comment of what Jessi told me in confidence.”
From the doorway, Jessi says, “Yes you can, Dr. Nguyen. You can tell Nick everything.”
I watch as Jessi walks over to stand behind me, carrying Haley Jo. Dr. Nguyen smiles brightly. “Jessi, you look wonderful! And that baby is beautiful.”
Jessi glances at me before saying, “She looks like her Daddy.” She kisses Haley Jo’s head before saying, “Dr. Nguyen, you’ll have to tell him. I don’t think I can.”
The doctor stares at Jessi for several seconds before saying, “I will. Are you going to join our session?”
Jessi shakes her head. “No. No I’m going to take Haley Jo upstairs. I don’t…I can’t think about what almost happened. I don’t want to hear it again.”
She starts to leave and I grab her hand. “Jessi, what…”
She steps closer to me and slides her arm around my shoulders. She leans down and kisses me. “Just listen to her Nick.”
After she leaves, I turn to the screen. Dr. Nguyen says, “Nick, when Jessi made it to Australia she was hell bent on revenge. She hated everyone in the world but Hanna Jo.” I wince at her words but she pushes on. “Nick, she was just very hurt and confused. I truly believe the only person in the world she hates is Donnie Wahlberg, but not because of what he did to her.”
I shake my head. “Then what? I mean, she didn’t know about what he did to me or that he had Hanna Jo and AJ. What other reason would she have for hating him?”
Dr. Nguyen says, “She hated him because he wasn’t what she thought he should be. She never got over how he hurt her when she was 18. When you compound that with the rape in college, what Paul did to her and how Donnie treated her on the tour, she had a nervous breakdown.” After a brief pause, she says, “Nick, she almost aborted the baby and when she couldn’t, she almost committed suicide.”
I feel like I’m going to vomit. “She…no, you can’t tell me she’s…”
Dr. Nguyen shakes her head. “I don’t believe she’d ever do it Nick. Which is why I never hospitalized her. After she realized the baby was yours she had another weak moment. She was devastated that she almost aborted the pregnancy. Then she was desperate to find you. She needed you. You have always been the only person in the world, aside from Hanna Jo, that Jessi ever truly loved. If you hadn’t come back…if you didn’t marry her, I don’t know how she would have coped.”
I wipe the tears from my face. “But why? Why didn’t she hate me? God knows I hate myself for what happened to her.”
Dr. Nguyen’s gaze sharpens. “Nick, why do you hate yourself? You didn’t rape her. Donnie Wahlberg did. If you had tried to stop him, you very well could have died and he still would have raped Jessi. She’s accepted that. She knows there was no other choice. The last few weeks the only thing that’s kept her going is the knowledge that Donnie Wahlberg didn’t win.” I don’t know what to say. Finally, she says, “Nick, her going to the sentencing is a GOOD thing. It will be good for both of you.”
I stare at my wedding band on my finger. I’ve been working out since we’ve been here and I’m almost back to my normal size and my ring fits again. I think I was more bloated from the alcohol than actually overweight. Finally I tear my eyes away from the band to look at the doctor that saved my wife’s life. “How can I thank you?”
She smiles brightly. “Bring Jessi back when you can. I’d like to meet Haley Jo and I’d like to keep in touch with her. She’s a special lady.”
After promising we’ll keep in touch, I disconnect the chat and go find Jessi. She’s lying on our bed with Haley Jo beside her. Neither of them are sleeping. I stretch out on the bed on the other side of Haley Jo facing Jessi. I cover her hand on Haley Jo’s stomach as her eyes meet mine I whisper, “I love you Jessi.”
She smiles at me and sniffles. “I love you too Nick.”
I lean over and kiss her forehead. “I’ll never leave you alone again Jessi. I promise.”
She nods slowly. “I believe you Nick.” She closes her eyes. I scoot closer, putting my head against hers over Haley Jo’s. We may have a long way to go, but at least we’re together. And I know we’ll make it. My future is with Jessi and our daughter. They are my life…my world. And I will fight with every breath in me to protect them. She’ll never be hurt again.
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