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Of course Kevin’s time in Vegas went so much quicker than Nick’s time alone. Before either of them knew it, Friday had come and it was time for Kevin to return to Kentucky to collect Mason and Maxwell for his week. Nick tried to be stronger, better with Kevin leaving, and for the most part he was. He managed a teary goodbye at the apartment and managed to keep his emotions relatively in check until well after the kids had gone down for the night. It wasn’t until he crawled into bed, still able to smell Kevin on the sheets, that he allowed the tears to fall.

Their week together was exactly what Nick had needed and he was more motivated than ever to follow each and every stipulation the courts wanted to throw at them so they could have the best shot of winning custody as possible. They had spent as much time as possible together and Nick had soaked it all up, banking on the memories being enough to last him another week alone with the kids.

Kevin had gone with him to both drop offs and pickups that week, but stayed in the car as Nick requested. It made him feel better knowing that Kevin was right there, but he didn’t want it to be something that Lauren used against him later. The kids had once again come home on Wednesday and Friday still wearing the clothes Nick had put them in the morning they switched off. Considering he had sent both kids with a backpack full of clothes anything else they may need he was livid come Friday morning when the same thing had happened again. When Heather had brought him back the kids he smiled and gave them both hugs and kisses. Lauren had sped out of the parking lot as soon as the kids were no longer in her care, so Kevin felt comfortable enough to leave the car.

Nick had discussed his concerns with Kevin at length and he knew how important this was for the younger man. Kevin got out of the car and gently took Saoirse into his arms and Odin by the hand, leaving Nick free to speak to the mediator out of earshot of the kids.

Nick turned to the older woman and gave her a small smile. “I’m trying to play by the rules and I am doing my best to be okay with this, but I do not understand how it is acceptable for her to keep the kids for 24 hours at a time and they come back to me dirty and wearing the same clothes as the day before. '' Nick took the backpack from her hand and unzipped it, showing her the contents inside. “I’m not asking her to buy them clothes. I send them with plenty of clothes each time. Why is this happening? What can I do?” Nick pleaded.

The other woman was quiet for a moment as her eyes drifted to Kevin laughing and playing with the kids as he got them buckled securely into the car. “He’s good with them.” she mused, ignoring his statement.

Nick turned and looked over his shoulder in enough time to catch Odin throwing his arms around Kevin’s neck and planting a kiss on his cheek. Nick’s smile warmed. “The feeling is mutual. He adores them just as much, if not more. He treats them like his own boys. He’s an excellent father.” Nick said softly.

“And so are you. I know this is tough right now. While I have to remain impartial, I can sympathize with what you are going through. Unfortunately, we live in a society whose first instinct is to preserve the mother’s custody at all costs, even if the father is involved. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, it’s just the facts of the matter. I will tell you that I have already documented your concern and every time it happens I add it again to my report. I’m not going to lie for either of you, but I’m not going to withhold information either. I can tell how withdrawn and forlorn the kids are when they have to leave your care and how happy they are when it’s time to come home. I was hopeful that after a few times of being on their own with Lauren that the distance they were putting her through would begin to dissipate, but so far it hasn’t. That is also documented in the report. The kids are both too young to really be influenced by much other than feelings and instincts. It’s not like you’re telling them their mother is a bad person and then they are reacting, they simply have no idea. Right now the best thing you can do for you, and for them, is to keep being the best father you can be. I am hopeful this will all shake out exactly as it’s meant to. Have you received a definite court date yet?” she asked as she pushed her shoulder bag up on her arm and checked her watch.

Nick nodded. “It’s scheduled for the end of April.”

She gave him a smile. “It will be here before you know it.” she patted his arm affectionately, and then turned on her heel and strolled to her car. Nick watched her go, his mind focusing on the words she said. Preserving the mother’s custody. It shouldn’t be that cut or dry. He shook his head and climbed into the SUV, pushing her words away as he once again focused on his family in the car.

--

Nick was developing a love/hate relationship with Tuesdays. He still hated having to share his children. Hated having to be stuck in this place to appease the judge and his shitty soon to be ex-wife, but he also really enjoyed having one day that he could just come home, collapse and sleep until he had filled his emotional tank and cleared the cobwebs from his mind. His Thursdays were spent cleaning the apartment, getting groceries and preparing for Kevin’s visit. There was a lot to look forward to by the time Thursday hit. They had been doing this for more than a month and in some ways it was getting easier to manage. He didn’t feel like he was drowning on his own with the kids and was actually starting to feel more secure being on his own as a father, not that he wanted to ever be without Kevin’s help or assistance, but it was encouraging to know that if push came to shove he could manage rather effectively on his own.

Nick had just kicked off his shoes and was getting ready to crawl into bed when there was a knock at the door. He frowned, confused on who could possibly be knocking. He made his way back down the hallway and peeked through the keyhole. UPS. He unlocked the chair and opened the door.

“Are you Mr. Carter?” the man asked as he looked over his clipboard.

“That’s me.” Nick said, getting more curious as the man dug in his large bag. Producing a thick envelope, he scanned it and handed it over.

“Just need a quick signature and then I’ll be on my way.” he handed over the clipboard and Nick scribbled his name across it, not even giving it a second thought. He said goodbye and closed the door, turning the package over and over in his hands.

The return address was Lexington. Had Kevin sent him something? He was equal parts nervous and excited and had just started to tear the top off the envelope when there was a second knock at the door. He tossed it on the kitchen counter and went back into the living room. Thinking maybe the UPS man forgot something, he didn’t even check this time and threw the door open, stumbling back in surprise as he took in the man on the other side of the door.

“Brian?” he asked curiously. “What the hell are you doing here? How are you here?”

The older blonde chuckled softly and lifted his bag in the air. “Can I come in?” he said with a smile.

Nick continued to stare at him for a moment, so confused by his presence that the package that had been at the forefront of his mind only seconds ago was momentarily forgotten. He stepped aside and allowed Brian to follow him into the small apartment.

Brian entered the living room and tossed his bag down by the door before turning to Nick and pulling him into an awkward hug. Nick wasn't sure what to do or how to react. He hadn't seen or spoken to Brian since he'd thrown him out of Kevin's house during Thanksgiving. He returned the hug and stepped back quickly, wanting as much distance between him and the other man as possible. He continued to stare at him, waiting for some kind of explanation. After the last fight, Nick hadn't been in any hurry to set things right between them. He was focused on Kevin and their family and then one thing led to another and before Nick had even realized it, several months had passed since the two best friends had talked. Still, Nick was uneasy by his presence. Nothing ever good happened when Brian was around, especially when he showed up unannounced.

"How did you find me?" Nick asked, the questions swirling in his mind.

Brian took a seat in the couch and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he faced Nick. "I called management. Told them I needed to get in touch. They were more than willing to give me your current address."
Nick bit his cheek to keep from mouthing off. He was going to have to have a talk with his manager. Only he and Kevin were supposed to have the address here. He tried to focus on the situation at hand. How was he supposed to deal with Brian as well as everything else going on.

"Why are you here?" he asked, a little more forcefully than he intended.

Brian looked at him and sighed. "We need to talk, Nicky. We need to move past this. I heard you were here and that Kevin was still in Kentucky and I figured this was my shot."

"Your shot for what?" Nick demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

Brian took a deep breath and stood, coming closer to where Nick stood. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. About the past and where my present and future lie. Leighanne and I are talking about divorce. I rented a small apartment in Georgia so we can try to work out our differences but I am just not sure it's worth it in the end anymore. I've been thinking about how things were with us, when we were younger. I got to thinking about conversations we had and I just had to talk to you. I just have to know if we could have ever been anything. If I had said something before you went to Kevin."

Nick glared at him, unsure of how to even respond. He didn't have a chance. The sound of his cell phone ringing shattered the silence in the room and Nick stepped back, digging into his pocket for the phone. He felt relief and terror as he saw his lover's name across the display. How was Kevin going to react to Brian being there.

"Hey," he said softly as he answered the phone.

"What did you think?" Kevin's excited voice said in his ear.

"Think about what?" Nick asked, confused.

"I got a notification that you signed for the package. Did you not open it yet?" Kevin asked, his voice taking on a teasing tone.

Fuck. He'd forgotten all about the package with the unexpected visitor and whatever it was had been important. If possible, he felt even worse than he had before. He turned and faced the kitchen, putting his back to the man in his living room.

"There's someone here." he said quietly.

"Who's there?" Kevin questioned, his voice hitching. The sound formed a tight band around Nick's chest and he knew this wasn't going to end well.

"Brian." Nick said closing his eyes and forcing the image of Kevin's face out of his mind. He knew the admission would bother the other man, but he also didn't want to hide or lie to him either. "

"Why is he there Nick?" Kevin sounded angry and further away than ever before. He felt his pulse begin to race and tried to think of something he could do to get himself out of this situation. He didn't even want Brian there in the first place. Suddenly he was angry, with all of them. How dare they put him in the middle of this.

"I have no idea." Nick said with a sigh. "He just showed up right after the package arrived and I haven't had any time to do anything about either."

"Call me back when you do." Kevin clipped.

Nick could barely formulate his next thought before all he heard was a dial tone. Shocked, he pulled the phone from his ear and stared at the display. Kevin had hung up on him. His stomach rolled and he swallowed hard. This was turning out worse than he thought.

Nick turned and glared at the man who professed to be his best friend. "What the fuck do you want from me?" he demanded, his temper rising.

Brian blanched and took a step back. An angry Nick wasn't one you wanted to be around, and right now Nick looked borderline furious. "I just wanted to talk to you."

"So talk." Nick said, gesturing to the couch. He took a seat across from Brian in the armchair and recrosssd his arms as he leaned back.

"Do you remember being in Germany and you crawled into my bunk and told me you were in love but you were too scared to tell anyone, to tell him." Brian asked as he stared at his hands instead of looking at Nick.

Nick thought back, trying to remember the exact instance Brian was talking about. Suddenly it hit him, it had been their second year touring there and he had realized he was noticing Kevin more than he ever should have. Nick nodded but didn't say anything.

Finally Brian looked up at him. "Was it me?"

Nick frowned. "What? Was what you?"

"Were you in love with me then? Was it me you were talking about?" Brian asked, his eyes wide and his jaw set.

Nick laughed. He hadn't meant to, but the stress of everything was getting to him and the noise bubbled up before he could help himself. "No. I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about Kevin."

Brian looked at him closely. "So all those years ago, it was Kevin?"

Nick nodded. "It's always been Kevin. Since the first time I got an erection. Hell the first time I felt anything, it was always Kevin. It just took us a long time to get to where we are now."

Brian nodded and looked down, staring at Nick's hand. "Are you still wearing your ring?" he questioned.

Nick looked down at his own hand, a smile playing on his lips as he twisted the metal around his finger. "No, I'm wearing Kevin's ring. He asked me to marry him at Christmas and I said yes. We're getting married once the divorce is final."

Brian looked at Nick and took in the way he smiled as he looked at the ring and the way his voice caught when he spoke of the older man. "So there was never a chance for us?" Brian asked, needing to be sure so he could close this chapter of his life.

Nick shook his head. "I'm sorry Bri. I never wanted to hurt you, but no. I never felt that way about you, you were always just my best friend. I love him. I'm going to spend my life with him. He's my past, present and future." Nick said with a wistful smile.

Brian nodded and stood. "I should go. I shouldn't have come unannounced, I just had to know. I needed to ask and it wasn't something I could do over the phone."

Nick nodded and stood as well. There was no awkward hug this time. Just two friends resigned to where their relationship was currently.

"I miss you, as my friend. I miss you both." Brian admitted as he opened the door.

"We miss you too. Just give us some time." Nick said softly, holding the door open wider.

Brian gave him a smile and ducked his head as he left the apartment. The moment he was down the steps Nick shut the door forcefully and leaned back against it. He felt a heavy weight in his stomach, knowing he had to fix whatever had happened with Kevin as soon as possible.