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They made love several more times before they came up for air. It was after six and Nick was starving, his rumbling tummy echoing in the quiet apartment.


"I guess we should order food huh?" Kevin said with a laugh as he smacked Nick's naked ass.


The younger man yelped and jumped from the bed as he looked around for his clothes. "Yes, I do believe it's your responsibility to keep me fed. Where did my pants go?"


Kevin watched with a wide smile as the blonde moved around the room collecting his articles of clothing that were removed so hastily only hours before. "It's a responsibility I take very seriously. I can't have you wasting away to nothing."


Nick gave him a pointed look as he struggled to get his jeans back on. "I'm pretty sure I would never waste away."


Kevin grabbed his arm and pulled sharply, sending Nick crashing back down to the bed and onto Kevin's lap. He stroked Nick's check affectionately and kissed his mouth gently. "You are perfect and I love you."


Nick blushed and nuzzled his face into the side of Kevin's neck. "I love you." He mumbled against the smooth, warm skin.


Kevin brought his arms around the man and shifted them both back against the headboard of the bed. They sat there for several minutes enjoying the feeling of each other's bodies pressed against their own.


"I can't tell you how much it meant to me to walk in and find you here." Nick said quietly as he played with several strands of Kevin's hair.


"I'm pretty sure it meant as much as it did for me to be here. After this week I just wanted to see you. I had to be right in front of you and know that everything was okay." Kevin said softly.


"I'm so fucking proud of you for finishing the song. It's beautiful, more than I ever hoped it could be. I know you're scared about opening yourself up to that side of the business, doing it solo, but I'll be right there beside you every step of the way. Your voice I can't even explain to you the things it does to me. I know other people are going to feel the same way, our fans, they are going to go nuts for it baby. " Nick said honestly, hoping his words were taken to heart, that Kevin really understood how wonderful his music truly was.


"I'm working hard on believing it. Working with JC was fun and exciting and the idea that I could do this on my own is terrifying. I can't do it without you, so knowing I have your support means everything to me." Kevin tightened his hold on the blonde and pressed his face against the side of Nick's face, breathing in the scent of his lover.


Nick turned to him and brushed his lips across Kevin's forehead. "Just think," he said wistfully, "This time next year you could be a platinum selling recording artist with a number one album, and we could be married."
Kevin delighted in the way the blonde's eyes lit up and danced with the possibilities. "Mmhm. And maybe there could even be another rugrat running around. You could be Mr. Dad and follow me around the country with our band of merry children."


Nick froze and looked at him closely. "Another baby?"


Kevin shrugged. "Maybe, who knows what a year will bring. I don't want to discount the idea. Do you?" he questioned quietly.


Nick thought for a minute before shaking his head. "No, not at all. I just didn't think…"


Kevin smiled as the younger man trailed off, getting lost in his own head. Kevin squeezed him tightly, breaking his reverie. "Hey, no pressure. Don't freak out. Just something I don't want to take off the table. Okay?"


Nick nodded slowly. "You really want to have kids with me?"


Kevin laughed loudly. "Baby we already have four. I think it's safe to assume I want to have kids with you."


Nick blushed. "That's not what I meant."


Kevin's laughter eased and he looked at the other man questioningly. "What then?"


"I just meant that it's a big step, trying to adopt a child together. It's permanent." Nick refused to meet his eyes.


Kevin frowned. "Nicky, everything we've done up until this point has been a big step. We've told our families, the media and our fans we're together. We're engaged to be married, one of the biggest steps a couple can take. We are blending two households into one and raising four kids as siblings, probably the biggest step. All of these things are permanent. Why do you think adopting a child is anything more than what we've already done? We have a lot of love between us and in our family. When we're ready, I think we could do a lot of good in a child's life, don't you? "


Nick nodded. "Yeah, I do. I know I'm being dumb."


Kevin grabbed Nick's chin in his hand and made him focus on Kevin's face. "What can I do to convince you that this is real, that we, you and I and everything that comes with it, is permanent?"


Nick shifted in Kevin's lap and tried to pull away but the older man gripped him too tightly to let him go. "I'm trying. I want to believe you so badly, but bad things keep happening and then it scares me because if I lost you I don't think I could continue on. I know I'm a pain in the ass and I know my anxiety makes me paranoid and I'm sorry I can't just trust blindly like other people can, but literally nothing in my life has ever worked out the way it's supposed to or the way I wanted. I just find it hard to believe that the thing I want more than anything will be the one thing that sticks."


Kevin nodded and laid his head back down against Nick's shoulder. He knew the fractures to Nick's self esteem and self worth ran deep. He knew the insecurities he faced were magnified tenfold with his life constantly under a microscope. "I understand Nicky, really I do. I'm sorry if I get exasperated with you over it sometimes. I apologize for that. I know this is hard for you and in asking you to have blind faith in something you've never seen work out. But I love you, I'm never going to stop loving you. The sooner we can work through your fears , the quicker you can be happy, baby, truly happy. I'm not going anywhere. It's you and me forever. "


Nick studied him and then nodded. "Thank you for understanding, or at least thing to."


"Of course." Kevin answered with a kiss to Nick's nose. "Now I do believe I promised to feed you."


--


An hour later the Chinese food place down the street finally dropped off their dinner. The delay wasn't their fault so much as it took Kevin more than a half an hour to get out of the bedroom and order it. Every time Nick looked at him in that way that he knew made Kevin's knees weak he would fall back against the pillows and pull the younger man down with him for more kissing and caressing. Two blow jobs and a hot and heavy make out session later they are relatively dressed and ready to eat. Kevin retrieved the food from the door and made his way back to Nick in the kitchen, who was supposed to be finding plates and silverware. Instead, Kevin found him playing in his phone, a look of complete concentration on his face.


"What's up?" Kevin asked as he started taking containers out of the bag and setting them up on the counter.


Nick shook his head and tossed his phone on the counter before rubbing his face with his hands. "Usually the lawyer has sent me an update by now. But I still haven't heard anything. I'm just ready for this to be over."


Kevin nodded and turned to reach into the cabinets for the plates. He began dishing the food up onto plates while he examined the younger man. "It's all going to work out Nicky." He said softly.


Nick gave him a look and then smiled and took one of the plates. "I hope so. I don't want to think about the alternative."


--


Later that night after fucking in the living room, again in the bedroom and once against the refrigerator they were satisfied for the moment. Kevin's back still hurt from where the fridge handle had dug sharply into his back as Nick forced his way inside, but remembering how hard he came while clutching the sides of the door made the ache incredibly worth it. They were curled up, naked on the couch and covered in an afghan. Nick lay nestled between Kevin’s legs, his head resting comfortably on his shoulder while they watched a movie, the volume so low Kevin had to strain to make out the words. The movie hadn't started out so quiet, but somehow as it progressed the volume got lower and Kevin wasn't about to leave the cocoon they had created to look for the remote. Nick didn't seem to mind the quiet monologue either so he settled back into the couch and held his lover closer.

Kevin watched Nick as he watched the movie. Took in the quiet way his eyes danced over the screen with a smile and his pretty pink lips mouthed out the words. It was a movie Nick had seen a hundred times before, one that always brought him comfort. Kevin didn't care much for the lord of the rings, but he would watch it eagerly if it meant he could hold Nick like this and enjoy these gentle moments. The more the movie progressed the more the worry lines and stress seemed to melt off the other man. Kevin smiled thinking he could have something to do with the change.

He was glad he'd come early, knowing how frazzled Nick had been the last few days had only added to his need to be in Vegas. The odd feeling he'd had for the past few days still hadn't gone away, but things between them seemed to be in a good place and he was choosing to push past the feeling and focus on the positive. They had several days together and Kevin intended to spend every single one of them making sure Nick knew how loved he was. Their talk about insecurities played heavily in his mind and he was more determined than ever to make sure Nick understood that when it came to the two of them, there was nothing he would ever have to fear.
“I love this part.” Nick whispered, eyes focused solely on the tv.

Kevin turned his attention to the tv and watched another fight scene play out. He had long since given up any pretend notion of watching the movie. He mumbled a reply and hoped Nick didn’t ask him about the plot. He knew there were hobbits and some kind of ring and a lot of food and fighting. After that, the entire concept was lost on him. He loved to watch Nick watch the movie though, loved how into it he got. It was little things like this he missed the most when he was alone in Kentucky. He was broken out of his thoughts by the tilt of Nick’s head, his attention no longer on the movie but now on him.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked as he picked up one of Kevin’s hands that had been lying against his stomach and threaded their hands together.

Kevin took in a deep breath and sighed happily. “Just thinking about how much I love you and how much I love moments like this.”

Nick gave him the famous Carter grin. “I love them too. I just wish they were at home, and not here.”

Kevin snuggled down deeper into the couch, feeling the warmth and comfort from the weight of the other man in his lap. “Mmmhmm. That would be nice. We’ll be there soon, all of us.”

“What do you think will happen if we decide to tour again, or if you want to tour on your own when you hit it big?” Nick asked, his eyes back on the television.

“Well, if either of those things happen then we’ll do them together, just like we always have. We’re not going to move forward with anything until the custody thing is lined out. If we’re all on tour then we’ll hire a nanny and bring the kids with us. Kristin and I have already discussed it, it was part of our custody arrangement. When I am touring and it’s my time with the kids then she will fly them to me. We will probably do more time, maybe a month or so at a time so that it’s less back and forth on everybody. If it’s just me, well then we’ll all pack on the tour bus and you can follow me around the world. What do you think about that?” Kevin asked with a grin.
Nick grinned back. “I think it sounds perfect. I’d love to be your groupie. Have you invite me on your tour bus and show me a good time.” Nick said suggestively.

Kevin laughed. “Down boy. I think six times in one day is enough. My back still hurts from the last one. You shacked up with an old man, remember.”

Nick laughed and turned to look at him, placing a kiss against his chest. “I think you are perfect.”

It was Kevin’s turn to laugh. “I love you Nicky,”

Nick smiled back and leaned up to grab the remote. “How can you follow the movie if you can’t hear it?” he asked, shaking his head as he increased the volume and settled back against the warmth pressed tightly against him.

--

The next morning they woke up late, still sprawled out on the couch and pressed tightly against each other. Kevin shifted first, the pain in his back and neck making itself known the moment he tried to move. He groaned out, a noise so loud it startled the blonde angel asleep on his chest awake. Nick blinked a couple of times and then moved to sit up.

Kevin grimaced and scooted back on his butt to sit against the arm of the couch. “I am much too old to sleep on the couch.” he said trying to stretch and get the blood flowing back into his limbs.

Nick grabbed his phone off the table to check the time and cursed. “Fuck, we’re running later. We’ve got to get showers and get out of here to get the kids.” He pulled himself from the couch and stood, giving Kevin plenty of room to get up off the couch. He surveyed the room and shook his head. “I didn’t get anything cleaned yesterday. You distracted me.” he said with a laugh.

Kevin tried to smile but it came out lopsided and full of pain as he struggled to make his tired limbs cooperate as he stood and stretched again. “I’ll help you clean up once we get home. Maybe a hot shower will help loosen me up. Don’t ever let me sleep on the couch again.” he groaned.

‘Whatever you say, old man.” Nick managed to get out before he darted down the hallway. He didn’t get very far before Kevin’s arms came around him and they were tumbling to the floor. They would be very lucky if they got to the police station on time.

--

They had been sitting in the parking lot for more than thirty minutes. While not late, they had arrived a lot closer to the pick up time than Nick was comfortable with. They barely made it ahead of Heather, and parked off to the side while they waited on Lauren to show up with the kids. Nick was starting to get restless and turned swiftly in the car seat every time someone pulled in or out of the parking lot.

“Why don’t you go talk to Heather?” Kevin asked gently, placing a comforting hand on Nick’s thigh. “Maybe she’s heard from Lauren.”

Nick turned and looked at him, chewing the bottom of his lip until it started to crack and bleed under the pressure. Kevin reached out and gently pulled the lip away from Nick’s teeth before leaning in and brushing his own lips across Nick’s mouth. “Stop this, you’re going to hurt yourself.” he said softly.

Nick sighed and leaned his head forward until their foreheads touched. “She’s never been late before.” Nick said quietly.

Kevin pushed forward and kissed the tip of Nick’s nose. “All the more reason to go talk to Heather, at the very least her tardiness needs to be documented.”

“You’re right. I’m just scared.” Nick said honestly.

Kevin unbuckled his seat belt and moved closer, wrapping his arms around the other man. Giving him a gentle hug, he kissed the top of his head before pulling away. He pushed the button to release Nick’s own seat belt and then sat back in his seat. “Go.”

Nick gave him another look and nodded before climbing out of the SUV. Kevin tried to push the gnawing feeling away and focus on being there in the moment with the younger man. He watched Nick jog across the parking lot from the side mirror. Nick talked animatedly, his arms and hands moving quickly as he illustrated his point. A few minutes of silent observation and Nick was walking back to the car while Heather was stepping out of hers. Kevin watched as she left the car and headed towards the door of the police station. The fear returned and suddenly Kevin felt the white hot fear pool and curl in the pit of his stomach. He jumped slightly when Nick opened the door and slid into the seat beside him. Kevin tried to keep one eye on Heather but lost her as soon as she entered the station. Turning back to look at his lover he swallowed hard to keep the fear from being visible on his face. “What’s going on?” he asked quietly.

Nick was shaking and Kevin reached out and took both of his hands in his. “Not sure yet. Heather hasn’t heard from her either. Apparently the next step is to get an officer to accompany Heather to the house. We’re not allowed to go. We have to sit here and wait until she knows more.” Nick said, his voice cracking. “Kev, if something happened to them…”

Kevin wasted no time in pulling the younger man into his arms. It was difficult with the middle console and the gearshift, but he made it work, pushing the discomfort of his back and straining muscles to the side as he did everything he could to comfort the other man. “Don’t think about it Nicky. Just stay right here in this moment.” He turned when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye and saw Heather walking towards the SUV. He pulled back from Nick slightly but kept one arm wrapped around his shoulders. He pushed the button to roll down the car window and turned to listen to what she had to say. Nick peered up at her with hopeful eyes.

“I spoke to an officer and he’s going to head over now. I am going to make a few phone calls and then head over myself. She still isn’t answering the phone. I know how much you want to go, but you have to stay here.” she looked at Kevin pointedly. “Keep him occupied until we get back. I will phone as soon as I understand what’s going on.”

Kevin nodded and watched her walk away before rolling up the window. Turning his attention back to the blonde he tried once again to push the aching fear in his stomach away. Now was not the time to fall apart. He could do that later once he knew what was going on and everyone was safe. This was another thing he couldn’t control and he was getting really tired of ending up in these situations lately.

“It’s going to be okay baby,” he said softly, brushing the hair out of Nick’s eyes. He wasn’t sure in the moment if he believed it, but he hoped he was convincing enough to ease some of the tension Nick was carrying.

They sat quietly for a long time, each stuck in their own thoughts. Kevin left one arm wrapped around Nick’s back while Nick crushed Kevin’s other hand in a death grip. Kevin tried everything he could think of to occupy his mind. He wished he could come up with something to say to take Nick’s mind off the problem at hand, but for the first time Kevin was clueless of what to say or do to help. He hated feeling this way.

Kevin had no idea how long they had been sitting in silence when Nick’s cell phone rang, starling them both out of the quiet. With shaky hands he reached into the center console for it. “It’s Heather,” he said quietly, his scared eyes locking on Kevin’s.

“I’m right here. Whatever’s going on, we get through it together.” Kevin whispered.

Nick nodded and pushed the button before raising the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

He listened quietly for a few moments before he started shaking, tears welling in his eyes and spilling down his cheeks. Kevin felt his heart drop to his feet and turned in the car seat to get closer to the other man. Nick was nodding through his tears and said a quiet goodbye before dropping the phone to his lap and letting loose a twisted sob that seemed to get stuck in his chest before ripping his throat apart in an anguished cry Kevin had never heard another human make. Nick fell against him in an instant, wrapping his arms tightly around Kevin’s neck as he sobbed into his chest. Kevin tried not to panic, unsure exactly of what had happened and afraid to envision the worst. He held Nick close for several moments, one arm wrapped around his waist while the other gripped the back of Nick’s head tightly against his chest.

Nick’s crying eased slightly and Kevin couldn’t hold it in any longer. “What happened?”

Nick pulled back just enough to see Kevin’s face. A fresh round of tears began falling down his cheeks. “She’s gone.”