AJ clenched his fist as he growled. “You knew this for years and didn’t tell him?! No wonder Minako slapped you! I want to hit you too!”
Brian cupped AJ’s shoulder. “AJ… Hitting him won’t solve any problems.”
“But it looked so fun when Minako did it!”
Kevin crossed his arms. “So, Nick was that baby after all…” He shook his head. “The eclipse… It wasn’t all an ill omen…”
Minako brushed by Ashley and walked to the door; she pressed her hand on the door as she lowered her head.
Howie gripped her shoulder. “It seems Nick was the demon who birthed that colossal crater in our story… A solar demon born during an eclipse…”
Brian stood behind her. “Minako, you want to go after him, don’t you?”
“I do… but it felt like he wanted to be alone. What should I do Brian?”
Brian gripped her hand. “If space is what he needs, let’s at least give him a little more time to himself.”
“Sapphire Priestess, did this solve anything like you thought?” Ashley stood and began walking toward them, his hands raised into fists near his chest.
Brian turned, his eyes narrowed as he snarled. He pulled a sutra from his tunic and held it to his face as he whispered. When he threw it toward Ashley, the sapphire webbing snaked around Ashley’s wrists, tightening with the seal; it pulled his hands together and bound them.
Howie stepped forward, his hand grasped on the pommel of his sword. “Ruby Demon, do you intend to slaughter us all as well?”
Ashley turned to Minako and smirked. “Should I, Sapphire Priestess?”
“Hit him again, Minako.” AJ crossed his arms, then gripped his hoop earring.
Kevin flanked Brian, guarding the door.
Ashley flinched and froze.
Minako lowered her head. “Can you? Cardinal demons are designed to be the strongest demons who search for the box. Ruby and Topaz failed. Emerald was defeated by Sapphire, but only two survived… You could kill us, but you could also be killed.” She raised her head, her stare boring through him. “The demons and priestesses were always supposed to be stronger together. So you told Nick…”
“Or I told Nicky so he would continue to suffer and manifest his powers.”
“Ashley…”
He shook his head. “You told me he needed to know so we could be victorious against the Emerald demons, and then claimed he still harbored joy from our relationship. It is clear he does not.”
Minako closed her hand into a fist as she leaned her head on the door. “Those are the consequences for keeping a secret like that from him.” She glanced over her shoulder at the sapphire demons. “Howie, Brian, Kevin, AJ… how did you learn to control your powers?”
“The previous King, our father, educated us.”
“I briefly told you about my Master at the crater, Minako. He was a member of my clan.”
“My clan resides in the border mountains and I’m sure some of them must still be there. We’ll visit when we go to Topazuseihou.”
“My family was also killed in the siege when I was young.” AJ lowered his head. “Many of the men in our troupe were orphaned, but there was an old man who knew of my clan and Joseph’s clan. He continued to teach us how to control our powers.”
“So what can Nick do?” Minako’s eyebrows knitted together as her hand trembled. “Do any of you know how to control solar powers?”
Kevin put his hand on Minako’s shoulder. “As usual, Nick will likely jump into anything without concerning himself with the consequences.”
Howie released his grip on his sword and smiled. “Our father once told us of prophecies that were handed down through our kingdom, though we were always certain that they were merely stories. One was ‘a warrior birthed beneath a shrouded sun shall ignite the kingdom.’ Perhaps Kevin is correct and Nick is strong enough to control his powers on his own.”
Minako slid the door open. “Brian… Can you take me to the castle?”
“The castle above the clouds? Minako… Of course!”
~*~
Nick turned to Minako, his face stricken with panic as he hyperventilated, his wings crumpling against his back. His hand trembled as he cupped her hand on his shoulder and his gaze darted between her, the other sapphire demons, and Ashley. “I… I have to… I can’t… I’m...” He fixed his gaze on her as his lips and eyebrows pinched , then he turned away from her and started running toward the door, pushing past Ashley; he paused to look into the eyes of the other sapphire demons, then shoved open the door and ran into the hallway.
He sprinted down the hallway and out into the square, pushing past the crowds of people without seeing them; his thoughts buzzing loudly in his mind made the busy city seem silent. He ran until he reached the shrine, pausing to glance at the gate before running toward the clearing.
He froze in front of the large tree and stared up at it. Master… When I woke up here, you were so kind and smiling… Were you feeling guilty? Did you smile because you thought it would comfort me into false security? Were you ever genuinely kind to me at all? Was it all fake? The things I thought we had...
He reached out to touch the tree, but quickly drew his hand back. He turned and scanned the clearing. I was happy to share this with you and Minako… Something that bridged my past and my future... It makes me sick… But I really was happy to be here with Minako… To marry her… And it just makes me feel… He swallowed. Why are you still poisoning my happiness? I can’t…
He started running again, then took flight, soaring over the trees, the city, the camps. His eyes locked on the mountain in front of him. No one will look for me there in the land of the dead. I can be alone, just like before…
Alone… Before Minako appeared in the darkness… Before we went on this journey and we all became friends… Frightened and screaming… I don’t want to be like that again… What if they worry that me leaving means I don’t want to stay together… That’s all I want… To stay… Everything we’ve been through… all the pain… suffering… I couldn’t handle it at all without them...
He landed among the dirt and grass, stumbling across it. This place is… the beginning and the end… The false god… I thought it was always the monster in my life who poisoned everything and took my Master from me… Are you even my Master? You taught me to fight with my fists, but there’s this whole other part of me burning inside that you didn’t teach me… That I don’t even know because…
He trudged toward the crumbled door and slumped to the ground in front of it. My family… I had a family… That first time I turned into a horrifying version of myself, Minako asked me about my mother and father and I couldn’t answer her… Did I always know what happened to my family and blockit out of my mind? He raised his knees to his chest and leaned his head on them. I’m sorry… I’m sorry for forgetting you all… Did I see you when you were dead? Was it too much for my heart? Did I block you out on purpose? Or was it on accident because of the crater? Either way… I’m sorry…
What were you all like? What would my life have been like if I knew you? Would I have still met everyone else? Minako… Would you still love that version of me? Would a version of me with memories and a past be better than this? Better for you? Would they love you too? He stared at his claws. Would I have left my family to go with you? Would I have refused? Could I have still loved you? Would I have become strong enough to survive hell? Would I have ended up in the darkness?
Master… I don’t remember our time together… Only bits and pieces… Would I have ended up in that darkness if we weren’t together? Would everything have been brighter with my family? Would Minako have been in that darkness all alone? Who would have saved you? Minako...
My family… I still don’t… He lifted his head and squinted, though his gaze remained unfocused. ...Remember all of you… even knowing what happened to you, you’re still only vague shapes and shadows in my mind… What was our life like when we were together? What did you dream for me or want for me or hope for me? Or for yourselves? Did you know I was a cardinal demon or was I just ordinary to you? Would you have let me leave when Minako appeared? Would you have made me stay? What could you have taught me? Would I be stronger if we stayed together? Would I know my powers?
He leaned his head on his knees again. What are our powers like anyway? I… I only ever became a monster when they came out... Do we all turn into monsters? Or is that because I don’t know what they are? What even are solar demons? That crater… How did I make that? I don’t even remember… And the reason it made me feel so sad… Deep down inside… I must have known… I must have known that you had been there and now you aren’t… A sad house… An empty house…
What if I get back all my memories and become something else? What if underneath all of this is a monster? Am I terrible like my Master? He looked up again. I can’t… I can’t keep calling you that. Because you… you never kept me around to teach me… If I was strong, you could become stronger… All you ever taught me was how to be afraid and suspicious… He closed his eyes and leaned back against the remnants of the door. I don’t want to be like that… I have to accept that there’s this other part of me that’s slowly creeping from the dark… Darkness… Was that all I was? Or was I brighter when I was small? Was my whole world filled with light and joy back then or was it still darkness and sadness… Would I have needed to be found? Would meeting Minako have filled my heart with the same warmth, brightness, and joy?
Master… How did I know that I was like you? That I had my own Pandora to wait for? That I had my own journey to go on? How do other cardinal demons find out they are so much more powerful? Do their families tell them? Do they even know what to look for? When we were back in the other world, Minako said my name when I didn’t remember and it hurt… Did it always hurt even when we were here? Or only the first time? Was I so happy it hurt that I ignored it? Minako…
Will you still accept me when I am this other person? Can you? Can we keep going forward if my memories come back? What if they don’t? What if this story is all that I know about my past now? He leaned on his knees again. I hope you can still look at me with the same loving smile…
He sighed, but a warm smile crossed his lips. “Minako…” Of course, you’ll look at me with that same bright smile and brush your hand on my cheek or ruffle the hair on my forehead and tell me that I’m gentle and kind… That I’m brave… That my body is strong, but also my heart... That I’m worth hell… That you love me… I want to hear you say those things more than anything. No matter what happens, no matter what I remember or don’t, I’ll choose you. Please choose me…
Brian… Howie… Kevin… AJ… I’ll choose you too. You’re my family... My real family. I can’t replace them with you, but… I don’t think I could imagine my life without you all in it… Whatever happens, we have to go forward together… We have to keep going… I’ll do anything I can to show all of you and Minako that you’re all my everything. No matter what I remember or don’t, I will be and do anything I can for all of you.
Master… No… We weren’t ever close like I thought we were, were we? You were always hiding things from me for your own selfish gains… I don’t… I don’t want you to come with us… What if you hurt them? Me… I guess I can handle it if you still wanted to hurt me... But… We can’t let Justin win… He clenched his hands into fists. I would rather associate with you then let Justin play his sick games… Because what he’s capable of is so much worse… So more help is better… But I will protect them with all that I have, even if I’m someone different with my memories. They’re everything to me.
A jarring rustle interrupted his thoughts. He raised his head quickly and scanned the castle grounds as he shrank into the shadows. Are there still demons and priestesses who aren’t reborn yet?
“Nick…” A quiet voice pierced the silence.
It’s… Nick’s chest filled with warmth as his face relaxed. The furrow of his brow disappeared and a broad, gentle smile formed on his lips. It’s not someone being reborn… Without me telling you, you knew where I was and you came for me… Minako… He exhaled a held breath as he caught their faces in his gaze. “Minako and Brian…”
They quickened their pace as they walked among the ruins, the ghost of the looming castle, then sat beside him. Minako placed one hand on Nick’s knee and the other at his forehead, brushing his hair back.
His smile grew as his breathing became deep and easy.
Brian rested his staff across his lap, then leaned on it and turned toward him. “Nick, you seem worried that you can only release your powers when you’re in danger.”
“He said you’re taught or you suffer… And the only times I’ve had any sort of powers were the time he described with the soldiers, the first time we were in Rubiihoppou, at the shrine, in the castle with my Master’s shadow… Can I only destroy?”
Minako ruffled his hair again. “Nick, but all those times… You were protecting someone. It was only yourself at first, but then it was that child, then me, then Brian and I… You only wanted to keep us safe. Is that destructive?”
“Nick, it is kind of Minako to reassure you, but I think what is most important in your powers, and what Ashley saw as so powerful, is that space between destruction and calm." He put his hand on Nick's shoulder. "I have never met a solar demon except for you, but I know in my own clan our powers are typically smaller and limited… I also know that I am stronger than most of them in sheer capacity or innate talent. I imagine the other demons in your clan may have only had one power. But since you were born during an eclipse, that must have filled you with the duality of the sun and the moon!”
“Brian… An eclipse?”
“You have turned day into night, turned darkness into light, produced a tone that turned demons mad, and, apparently, can create orbs of light. There must be many things you can do, we just have to help you find those things and learn how to control them.”
Minako wrapped her arms around him. “Even at your darkest, your heart was producing light. Maybe that’s why the false God put you in the darkness… He was afraid of what you could do in the light.”
Nick lowered his head. “There was one other time, I think… In the end, when I defeated Justin… After saving Minako and me, Howie told me he knew I wasn’t a monster… That I was the strongest Sapphire cardinal demon. And when Justin tried to take his heart, I felt myself getting angrier and this power was filling me up…”
“Nick…”
“It made me feel lighter… and I drained his powers somehow… saw into his mind.... and mortally injured him… But I…” He bit his lip. “Brian… How do you call your powers? It’s clear they shouldn’t just burst out on their own...”
Brian clenched his staff. "It's been so long since I've thought of how I was taught… How do I explain? I guess I reach deep inside and feel my powers, then I pull and stretch them until the barriers appear."
Minako leaned around Nick to catch his gaze. "How do you move them?"
"I suppose that is the limit of my powers right now, I left my clan before our elders really had time to test my capacity. Once they’re out, I imagine myself pushing and pulling them. It was hardest when we were in the emerald castle and then getting to this mountain… I imagined it disappearing and reappearing, but taking me and all of you with it. This time was easier because we've been here before and I knew what the place we were going looked like."
"And the sutras?"
"My clan believes words hold great power, so I use the sutras when I need to transfer my barriers away from myself and the words help to bind them even when they’re not touching me."
Nick squinted and clenched his hands.
He chuckled. "I suppose it's different for the others, and probably all demon clans, so it's likely not the only way.” He lowered his head and narrowed his eyes. “My clan believes in pacifism, so we mainly use our powers for defense. I went against that, but I only used my barriers offensively against the general and the emerald demons in the castle. I hadn’t done that before, but I thought I could for all of you." He glanced back at them and smiled warmly.
Nick cupped his shoulder. "No, Brian, this is really helpful. I think I want to try here with you both. We're all friends, but… we've been traveling together the longest, so it feels like we're closer…"
Brian smiled. "Minako, is that why you asked me to come with you?"
"Mostly. But it was also a tiny bit that I knew you could get me here the fastest." She squished her index finger against her thumb. “But only the tiniest bit!”
Brian laughed heartily and patted Nick’s shoulder. "Just be calm and focus."
Nick closed his eyes, settling into silence, and pressing his lips into a thin line as he scrunched his nose and forehead. His eyes flashed open as a smile spread across his face and he put his hand to his chest. "I feel it. It's warm…"
"How will you get it out? Does it feel like it should be pulled or stretched? Or something else?" Brian held his hand to Nick’s shoulder tightly.
Nick closed his eyes again and placed both hands to his chest as he took a deep breath. “It just feels like… it wants to flow out…” His face illuminated as warm sapphire light flickered across his skin. After slowly opening his eyes, he raised his glowing hands to his face, peering at them as he uncupped them; a small glowing orb sat nestled in his palms. "Brian, Minako… I made…"
Minako smiled. "It's warm and bright like sunshine."
"What will you do with it, Nick?"
Nick glanced at both of them and smiled as he pried the orb into two pieces. He held his hands in front of Minako and Brian and the small pieces of light floated toward them, then settled into their chests.
Minako squeezed Nick's hand as she giggled. "It tickles a little! It feels like… a hug, Nick!” She beamed. “It makes me feel safe. Brian?"
"Yes, it feels like warmth and protection. Nick, you're going to gain mastery of your powers even without your clan or suffering."
Nick gripped his knees. "Why is suffering an acceptable way to learn anyway? It makes sense that when we're in crisis, our powers will rise up to protect us, but that seems chaotic and dangerous…"
Minako leaned her head on Nick's. "I don't know that chaotic and dangerous mattered to Ashley, only strong. And it makes sense that they would be strongest if they were the only thing to help you live."
Nick shook his head. "Stronger… Not strongest. Now that I know that they're there, I can feel them trying to burst out now more than I ever have before, even the times they did… and the more we're together the more I want to live, but more than anything I want all of you to stay safe while we stay together." He wrapped his arm around Minako’s shoulder and pulled her against his chest while gripping Brian's shoulder. "Maybe there's ancient practices and beliefs I'll miss without my original clan, but… I'm happy to have my new clan… my family around to teach me."
Minako and Brian both wrapped their arms around Nick and held him close in an embrace. The three sat motionless and silent in front of the castle's remains.
~*~
Nick slammed the door open, followed closely by Minako and Brian.
Three mats covered the length of the room, bathed in light from the window. Howie, AJ, and Kevin’s belongings lined the wall beside the door and a desk sat against the wall across from the mats. AJ and Kevin glanced away from the desk covered with stacks of charts as they continued to lean over Howie’s chair. Howie pushed his chair back and stood as well, then all three of them faced the door completely.
Ashley twitched, then put his bound hands to his chest as he exhaled loudly. "Did that not surprise you?"
Kevin and Howie shared a brief glance as AJ shrugged.
Ashley grimaced as he stood, blocking the light from the window. "Nicky…"
Nick clenched his fists. "Nickolas… Nicky… I don't want to be called them anymore. They are the names of a naive child.” He forcefully pointed at his chest with his thumb. “I am Nick, a sapphire cardinal demon."
"You returned sooner than I expected…"
Nick lowered his head and glanced behind him. “Brian, unbind him.”
Brian nodded and whispered a few words; the bindings slipped and disintegrated from Ashley’s hands.
Ashley lowered his hands. “Nicky, you…”
"I thought about your story and our history… You brought a scared and orphaned child into your world for your own selfish desires, then faked familial kindness when your plans failed… And you would have harmed the people I care about to keep it a secret when you couldn’t leave it in your grave!" He raised his head, holding his shoulders taut, then held eye contact with Ashley. "But Minako and Howie are right, we are stronger together against the emerald demons and will take any help we can get. I'm not ready to forgive you, but I accept your alliance. It is your responsibility to earn my trust back."
Ashley stepped toward him. "Nicky…"
"Nick." His stern gaze bore through the space between them. "Have I spoken clearly, Ashley?"
"Abundantly."
Nick walked until he closed the gap between them, his face inches from Ashley's as he spoke in a harsh, low tone. "One last thing… Make no mistake, while we are friends for a common enemy, if you harm a member of my clan, of my family, I will end you."
Ashley smirked. "With what powers, Nicky? I made you. I know every move you'll make and I can break you."
Nick smirked as well. "You live in the past. In the future, I've grown infinitely stronger."
