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Thanks to Anita, Anastacia, dancinpacer03, frackandbonechick, sweetangelicangel and Stephanie for reviewing 24! Here is 25. Can't wait to hear what ya'll think, and a hint...something big happens in the next chapter after this one!

Chapter Twenty-Five

The day that Amber, Nick and A.J. all left to meet the other Boys in Dallas to begin the last three week round of concerts was a sad one for Amber and had arrived all to fast for her own personal liking. She wasn’t ready to leave the safety Nick’s cozy home. She wasn’t ready to leave his sisters, the three new friends she had made for a short amount of time. She had adapted to not being around a lot of people ninety percent of the time and had gotten used to living in a real place again. A real home, with a family. This thought caused Amber to sigh. She hadn’t thought of her family in a couple of weeks, trying to will them out of her mind for abandoning her. But on the occasion that she did think of them, she missed them, despite what they had done. The thing was, she didn’t think she would ever want to talk to them again, given the small change that they would come around. They had hurt her. Nothing could ever take that back.

All of the shows post Christmas were taking place in warmer states, since outdoor venues held a lot more people, and outdoor concerts were only possible in nicer whether. In three weeks, once the tour was over, Amber wasn’t sure what would happen. All she knew of was that there would be talks of beginning to record for a new album after a few months. What would happen to her, she did not know. She wasn’t sure of Nick, or possibly even any of the other four Boys, would want her around. She was too afraid to bring it up to Nick too, for fear that he would say that she was on her own after the tour was over. For fear that he would be sick of her, and couldn’t wait to rid of her.

Amber let out a long sigh as she turned her head and looked out of the window of the plane. Only another hour until they were due to land and reunite with the others. Amber could honestly say she didn’t know what to expect, for she’d made a vow that her New Years resolution would be to give the other Boys a chance, even if that meant opening up to them as slowly as humanly possible.

That brought back a new thought to Amber’s mind. On New Years Eve, they had celebrated with pizza, a dip made of chili, cheese and salsa heated and mixed up with tortilla chips and a few bottles of sparkling grape juice. Amber had been surprised that the two legal men hadn’t gotten any of the real stuff, hoping that they were holding back on her behalf.

“You okay?” a voice asked, sensing that something was bothering the girl.

Amber looked next to her seeing A.J. She recoiled slightly towards the window, wondering when he had gotten to be next to her. When they’d taken off, the seat had been empty, the two men behind her, giving her the space they’d predicted that she needed.

“Um, yeah,” she choked out, “I’m fine.”

Despite their very few encounters over the week, she was still slightly uncomfortable around him. She then remembered her resolution. It was January first. The perfect opportunity to start right off before it got too far in to the year and with no progress or attempt to even try. She looked behind her at Nick, who was asleep. She figured without him to watch over her and help her out, it would make talking to A.J. easier.

“You sure,” A.J. asked, concern evident in his eyes, “You look like something is bothering you.” he paused for a moment before adding, “If you need to talk, I’m here.”

Amber paused, looking out of the window again for a moment before answering. She wanted to deny that something was troubling her, but figured getting it out might make her feel better. She did not, however, want Nick to know, for he worried about her. She didn’t want him to worry more. Maybe opening up to A.J. would give her another friend. She discretely shrugged. What could it hurt. She didn’t really have anything to lose. She turned back to A.J, who was still looking at her patiently, waiting for her to answer him.

“I um, I’m not happy,” she admitted, “I’m scared and feel alone.”

A.J. was silent for a moment, not really knowing how to respond to her confession. He hadn’t really expected her to be so open with him. He hadn’t really expected her to say much of anything. She had been though, and he couldn’t help but wonder why or what to say. He didn’t even know if she was searching for some sort of advice.

“That’s..erm, that’s understandable,” A.J. offered with a kind smile, “You know that Nick, I and the other guys are all here for you if you ever need to talk though, right?” Amber nodded, “You seem withdrawn, but not unhappy though.” A.J. added, noting his observations of her attitude and way about things.

“I...I’m depressed,” she said, “I feel like my life is over.”

“Have you talked to Nick about it?” A.J. asked, knowing that Nick was the first person she would run to with her thoughts and feelings.

Amber shook her head, “Oh, no,” she said, “I don’t want Nick to know. He...he’s so protective and all. I don’t want to worry him.”

A.J. chuckled, “Why are you telling me then?” he asked, wondering why the chance in her demeanor around him, “I mean, you seem to trust Nick. If you can’t tell him, then why do you feel that you can tell someone else?”

Amber shrugged. How was she to tell him that he wasn’t so bad after all? That she was giving him a chance because she’d slowly gotten to know him a little over the week and decided that she could talk to him a little bit, in a different way than with Nick? She couldn’t help but think that A.J. had been trying way to hard to get her to open up to him, but it had worked. Besides, she needed more than one person to communicate with while touring around. That brought her thoughts back to her New Years resolution and the progress she’d made with A.J.

One down, three to go. Amber thought with a small sigh.

Half hour later, the small jet touched down on the ground as the group got up and walked to the exit of the plane, walking down the terminal in to the airport. Beings their plane was half hour behind the others, Brian, Howie and Kevin were already waiting for them, along with their security at the almost abandoned waiting area. All that was there were a few middle aged couples and senior citizens. As early as it was in the morning, relief was evident in the Boys eyes that there were no screaming young girls around.

Nick and A.J. walked quickly over to their three friends, immediately beginning to catch up on what had happened over the break to each of them. Amber slowly walked behind them, staying back timidly. Being around the others was already making her have second thoughts on her intentions on getting to know them all.

The guys all talked and laughed amongst one another for a long while. It was as if they were oblivious to Amber behind them. It was almost like Nick and A.J. had forgotten she had come with them, the others forgetting her existence altogether. She felt excluded, not knowing why she really cared for she normally liked it when she was not noticed or had attention drawn to her. Kevin, who was facing her the entire time suddenly looked past the Boys in front of him and right at her as if noticing her for the first time. He smiled at her, staying where he was.

“Hey Amber,” he greeted, “How are you doing?”

Amber froze, intense fear overcoming her before remembering what Leslie had told her. She had said that Kevin was probably the Boy with the softest, kindest heart out of all five men. She slowly relaxed before responding.

“Okay,”

If Kevin was surprised at her suddenly talking to him for the first time in weeks, he did not show it. He acted as if it wasn’t a big thing at all.

“Did you have a good break?” he asked her.

Amber took in a deep breath, willing herself to answer. She had to keep telling herself that Kevin would not hurt her. That none of them would. She looked up from the ground and saw that all of the Boys were staring at. She felt somewhat self-conscious but figured that she would have to get over that. She was, after all, going to be pretty much living with them for a long time more than likely.

“Yes,” she answered, “It was fun.”

“Ready to start touring for a little while?” he asked her

Amber nodded.

“I think you’ll like it. The first show it tomorrow night.” he said before looking down at his watch, “Well, we’d better get going. The bus is supposed to be here to get us in ten minutes at the side exit, since that is the easiest way out.”
The group started walking together in search of the correct exit to find their bus. Amber had a feeling that the next few weeks of her life would be an experience like nothing she’d ever done before. She would even say that nothing she had ever done before would come close, including being on a traveling cheerleading team for a summer during her sophomore year in high school.

On their way to the bus, the group was stopped only four times to pictures and autographs and after twenty minutes, they finally found where they were supposed to be. Quickly getting on to the bus, they were taken to their hotel. Amber was personally kind of excited about going to her first Backstreet Boys concert the next night, wondering if they sounded as good singing their songs in person as they did on the CD.

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The next night rolled around before any of them had time to blink, it seemed. Before they knew it, the Boys and Amber were at the venue where they’d be performing at. Amber’s eyes widened at the sight of how many people were already at the venue upon their arrival. She had to say that it was more than what was at the Christmas concert just a week before. She shook slightly, fearing going out in the open. The last time she’d gone backstage, she’d been violated to some extent by J.C. The memory of that lingered in her mind, making it so that she wasn’t so sure that she’d have been better off staying at the hotel. The thing was, they were leaving for the next city after the show, not going back to their prior place of slumber.

Amber sighed as she sat in a small corner by herself as the Boys all hustled to get ready to take the stage. She watched them, wishing that Nick, or she would even go as far as to say A.J, would pay attention to her. Then again, everybody was so in to their own thing that noone was acknowledging her. She figured as long as she stayed where she was, she wouldn’t be noticed and bothered.

Amber watched everyone buzz around some more, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath. Sometimes she thought that she was getting better and learning to cope in her new world and with the gender she was most afraid of, since she lived with five of them. Then other times, she knew that she wasn’t progressing as much as she would have liked, for she still had yet to talk to Howie and Brian and the thought of speaking to them put knots in her stomach.

“You hangin’ in there?” Nick asked, coming up beside her.

Amber looked up and nodded as he crouched down to her level. “Nobody will try to hurt me, like J.C did, will they?” she asked him, the words coming from her mouth before she really had time to think about what she was saying.

Nick laughed lightly, taking her hand in his in a friendly manor, “No, nobody will do what that asshole did.” Nick told her, his eyes telling her that he was sincere, “Everyone on the crew is great. The warm up band is cool too, but they’re going to be gone in a few. No worries.”

He offered her a convincing smile, or what he hoped to be one. Amber smiled tightly back at him, feeling slightly embarrassed for acting how she was.

“Ya going to be okay while we’re out there?” he asked her just as Kevin was calling for him, yelling something about him getting his ass over to where the rest of them were. He was obviously ignoring his eldest friend.

“Yes,” Amber told him, “It’s just for a little while. I’ll be okay.”

Nick leaned in and hugged her quickly before hopping up to his feet and jogging off to join the other four Boys. Amber could hear screams coming from the other side of the stage. She had the urge to get up and peek around the curtain that separated the two sides, but decided against it. She knew that if she saw how many people were there, it would send her into a panic. That’s how it always went. She had an attack when she least expected it, but it always happened in public places.

Minutes later, she heard the sound of music filling her ears loudly as the Boys ran out on to stage. The screams and shrieks became louder, more intense, and Amber was amazed that so much sound could be produced by the people in the audience.

Once the singing started, Amber had to say that she was right away addicted to their sound. She couldn’t believe that they’d been a group for almost eleven years and she was just now experiencing a taste of their sounds. She couldn’t believe that she’d gone with the majority of the girls from her school, saying that they were ‘teeny-pop’ music and for groupies. Their talent was phenomenal and she knew that touring with them would never get old, assuming she’d have the chance to tour with them for years and years on end. They sounded incredible on album, but in person, it was like nothing she had ever experienced before, and she meant that in a good way.

The songs went by quickly, each one new to Amber’s ears. She personally liked the upbeat songs best, but the slower ones were sweet as well as harmonious to her. They sounded different in person. The songs seemed more personal and like they had more heart and soul put in to them live. Amber wished that she could see the energy that they produced while dancing, but knew that it would have to wait for another time. This was her first show, and was not ready to be out in the open. Little did she know, she would get more attention once she was ready to be seen than she was really comfortable with and ready to take in at once.