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Thanks to Anita, Anastacia, AjsSweety and dancinpacer03 for reviewing the last chapter. Also, thanks to all of you for bearing with me! I know I have not updated in so long...so much going on! Thanks for sticking with me though. It gives me the motivational push I need to keep going! Cant wait to hear what everyone things of 29! Read and enjoy

Chapter Twenty-Nine

The loud , repetitious beep of a machine slowly awakened Amber from her deep slumber. At first, she’d shifted uncomfortably, trying to will the noise away. When that hadn’t worked, her eyes slowly opened, fluttering a little as they did. It was all she could do just to keep them open. She was so weak. Her vision was blurry, but as she turned her head to the side, Amber saw two masked men in all white standing by her bedside. Amber jolted, startled, before drawing back in absolute fear, memories of her masked, faceless rapist filling her mind. What did these men want from her? They must have sensed her fright, for the taller of the two begun to speak.

“Relax, Amber,” his voice was kind and soothing, “We’re not going to hurt you. We’re good guys...only here to help. You can trust us. We’re just checking your vitals,” her vision was now clear enough to see that his eyes were crinkling around the edges, telling her that he was smiling behind the mask, “It’s good to see that you’re awake finally. You’ve been out for days.”

Amber stared at him in confusion, still wondering where she was exactly. She was still questioning what the man had meant by checking her vitals. And out for days? What did that mean? Had she slept for that long, been missing? She could read in to it from many different perspectives. The mans words were vague and told her little or nothing at all even.

“Your friends are very worried about you,” the other man spoke for the first time, “They haven’t been able to see you yet, but haven’t left the hospital since you were brought in five days ago.”

Amber just stared at him, trembling under his stare. She felt so exposed and wondered who the men were. She wondered if they’d taken advantage of her during her five days of sleep. She also wondered why she was in a hospital. She made a point to ask the Boys when she got to see them, which brought her to her next question. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. It was as if her voice were trapped within her body.

The two men packed up their tools and walked out of the room without another word. Amber was wondering how she was to ask when she could see her friends. She couldn’t even speak. All she knew was that she was lying on a bed that was hard as a rock in a room that could use a little heat, her stomach feeling as if someone had dropped a brick on it. The doctors hadn’t given her any explanation of anything. She was in the dark.

Opening her mouth, Amber tried to made a noise, a noise of any sort, just so she was assured that her voice was okay. That she still had it and not turned into a mute. Nothing came out, and that scared her beyond belief. She had no recalling of anything that had happened in the days prior to that moment. She didn’t know what was going on and wanted Nick there with her. She wanted him there to tell her that everything would be alright and have the reassurance that he was still there for her, to support her. A few tears fell down Amber’s cheeks, but no sound would still surface. Her tears were silent and unknown to the world as well as her emotional pain and turmoil.

She brought a hand to her mouth to cover the frown that she knew was on it, the twisted expression of torture, but her hand jerked back when she felt something that wasn’t normal. Slowly, almost afraid, she took her hand back up, shaking slightly. She then felt it more definitely. It was a thin tube of some sort emerging from her mouth. She wondered what it was for as sweat beaded her forehead in nervousness. She felt as if something were prickling her skin. She couldn’t remember anything and had many questions in her head that she was dying to ask and receive answers to. She wished that she had a voice to speak, because without one, she was nothing.
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Nick slowly, quietly and cautiously neared Amber’s hospital room, peeking in through the crack that the door was opened to. He saw that she was sleeping and was suddenly nervous about going in to see her for the first time in a week. He halted to a stop, his breath catching in his throat. He didn’t know if he could go the rest of the way in. He didn’t know if he could face her, feeling guilty and that all of this was his fault. Feeling that if he’d seen the signs more clearly, he could have done something to prevent it from happening. The others were hoovering over him, being blocked off by his lack of motivation to move. Finally, Kevin spoke, giving Nick a gentle shove forward.

“Go,” he hissed in a whisper, “We haven’t seen her in a week, dildo. Now isn’t the time to slow things up.”

Nick gulped and forced himself to take a few steps forward into her room, the others anxiously scurried past him to see the sick girl who they’d befriended, or tried to befriend, just a month ago. Nick stood back at first, praying that Amber did not put him at blame for any of this, although he felt that he deserved it for sure. He slowly took one step forward, stopped to pause, then took another step and another until he was right behind the others, peering nervously over their shoulders. Her eyes were still closed, her complexion a pasty white color. He felt silent tears forming in his eyes by the looks of her. He felt so responsible for not protecting the girl with his life. He’d promised he’d never let anything bad happen to her, yet he had not been there when she’d needed someone, resulting in her trying to harm herself.

“Be gentle with her when she wakes up,” a voice came from behind them all.

The five Boys spun around at the sound of the voice, which had startled them. There stood a doctor with his arms folded across his chest. His eyes were kind but his expression said that he was not joking around and meant business.

“She doesn’t seem to realize what happened and seems fearful. I don’t know if she’ll open up to you right away or not. Just be gentle with her and don’t ask or do too much at once.”

Nick stared at the man as if he were a complete idiot. Common sense said not to overwhelm Amber at first, or at all. The others said nothing, although Nick felt it was safe to bet that they were all thinking pretty much the exact same thing.

“Why would we be anything but gentle?” Kevin asked, trying to keep the irritation out of his tone and his voice soft, “She’s been through hell and back. She doesn’t need us lecturing her now.”

“It’s good to hear that you realize that,” the doctor replied, “I’ll leave you be with her for awhile now. Just remember what I said.”

Each of the Boys turned back to Amber, listening as the doctors footsteps got further and further away as he left the area. None of them spoke, not knowing quite what to say. It was different and hard, to say the least, seeing Amber lying there in a hospital bed again. Her bedside was filled with flowers that each of the had made sure were delivered each and every day since they could not be with her. Nick had to wonder if she’d even noticed, or if she’d been asleep all this time.

“Um...I...” Brian stuttered, worried that if he said the wrong thing, Nick would lunge at him again without warning. He wanted to choose his words carefully, “She looks okay...I mean, like she’s going to make a full recovery.”

“It’s not how she looks, I don’t think, ” Kevin. stated, “It’s how badly the O.D. messed her up on the inside.”

“The doctors said she would be fine though,” Nick reminded them, “That she’d be tired at first, but after awhile, she’d be okay.”

They all looked around at one another, not wanting to bring up the subject of a counselor. They’d found one that they felt would be suitable for her and hired her right away. It had been hard to admit that they’d been wrong from the beginning, but at least they were taking the next steps to helping Amber out correctly. Nick still was not keen on the ides, but he’d gone along with it anyways, knowing that the others were probably right.

The continued to watch Amber. Nick made his way closer to her bedside, kneeling down beside her and taking one of her small, frail hands in one of his large, masculine ones. He rubbed it, silently urging his little princess to awaken. The others neared, standing directly beside her, wanting to be within eyesight for her when she woke up. They all wanted it to be assured that they were there for her through everything and that she had their support to help her get better.

“Ya know, its funny,” Nick whispered, keeping his eyes locked on Amber, “Amber has only been in our lives for shortly over a month, yet I can’t remember how life was without her in it. I’m so used to her being here now.” his voice started to shake, choking him up a little at the next part, “When I thought that we’d lost her to his...I...I couldn’t imagine going on without her.”

The other stood solemnly, not saying a word. The truth was, the other four Boys didn’t know how they would cope had Amber died as well. She was very much a part of their lives now. Nick’s confession had gotten them all to think about things that they hadn’t allowed themselves to before. As corny and unrealistic as it may have sounded, they’d grown quite attached to her in the little time they’d known the girl.

Suddenly, Amber’s eyelids began to flutter, her hand quivering a little in Nick’s grasp. Her small motions caught the attention of all five guys, for she hadn’t moved since they’d arrived almost twenty-five minutes ago.

“Look, she’s waking up,” Kevin stated, causing them all to draw closer yet, if that were possible, hoovering over her bed.

Her eyes continued to flutter, her body shifting the tiniest bit and then finally, Nick was staring in to her blue eyes. She took in a deep breath, or large sigh, continuing to stare. Nick could tell that she was in a pretty great deal of pain. The room became so silent right then as the Boys all held in their breaths, their hearts hammering in their chests. Nick was the first to break the silence that had overcome the room.

“Hi, honey,” he said softly, smiling a small smile at her, “How are you feeling?”

Amber shrugged, the motion almost not even there. Her body was weak still from lying in the bed for a week. She still wasn’t sure what had gone on. All she knew was that she was trapped in the hospital. She was slightly surprised to wake up to five familiar faces standing by her. She would have thought that they’d have left her behind due to their hectic, busy lifestyles. But there they were, waiting for her, there for her. She knew that she had made five true friends, feeling bad for doubting them.

“You had us all so worried,” Brian stated, “We haven’t left here once.” he waited for a minute before saying, “Do you know how lucky you are to be alive?”

Amber said nothing, now knowing how to reply to the question. Why was she lucky to be alive? Her brain felt fried and she had no remembrance as to what happened.

“Why would you go and do something like that?” Nick asked suddenly, ignoring the doctors warnings, needing to have an answer as he leaned in and hugged Amber, feeling tears of relief forming in his eyes. She didn’t answer and he asked, “Answer me, please...”

Amber was about to protest that she couldn’t, bringing her hand to her lips to prove her point, but found that the tube that had emerged from her throat before was now gone. She opened her mouth to speak, nothing coming out at first, for her throat was dry and scratchy, as well as very sore. Her next attempt at speaking was more successful than the first, a little sound coming out, although it was barely audible...a whisper.

“Wha...what happened to me?” she asked weakly, the simple motive of talking taking quite a bit of effort from her.

The five Boys all looked around at one another, nervousness apparent in each of them. Her question was obviously one which was hard to answer, but she needed to know. She waited silently, patiently, for one of them to respond.

“Don’t you remember?” Howie finally asked, and Amber fearfully shook her head, still slightly afraid of the Latino man whom was speaking to her. That much hadn’t changed. Not yet, anyways.

“Um,” Nick stated, looking back into the girls eyes, “Honey...last week...you...you tried to kill yourself. You swallowed a bunch of pills.” he spoke, trying to put things as delicately as he possibly could.

Amber didn’t look surprised by this information. In fact, Nick telling her what had happened seemed to trigger her memory. She closed her eyes, a tear streaming down her face.

“I’m sorry,” she wept, “I...I...” she couldn’t finish her sentence. She just squeezed her eyes shut, letting the tears flow freely as they were meant to.

“We’re here for you, you know that, right Amber?” Kevin asked, “No matter what, you can come to any of us with anything.”

Amber said nothing, but it was evident by the look on her face that she understood. She was still afraid though. Part of her still wished that she hadn’t lived. It would make thing so much easier in her mind, for everyone. Not just her, but the Boys to, for they’d no longer have to worry about her.

“We love you,” Nick stated bluntly, saying the words for the first time.

“Love...you too, Nick,” Amber whispered.

There was silence for a few moments again. Nobody knew what to say, afraid of upsetting the fragile girl. They were afraid of overwhelming her too quickly too soon. Finally, A.J. spoke for the first time.

“Guys, do you think I could have a minute alone with her?”

Kevin, Howie and Brian all agreed, saying goodbye and stepping outside of the room. Nick, however, stayed behind, hesitant. It looked as if he gripped Amber’s hand even tighter, as if he let go, she would vanish.

“Nick, please..I need to talk to her,” A.J. asked, his voice showing slight signs of urgency.

Nick looked back as his friend then to Amber, who’s eyes showed no signs of what she wanted. Nick sighed.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he told her softly, kissing her forehead. He got up and walked out of the room, looking back one last time before disappearing. Amber looked up at A.J. Her eyes were filled with sadness.

“Hi,” A.J. stated lamely.

Amber forced a smile, adverting her gaze away from him. Neither spoke. Amber, although had made significant progress around him, still felt most comfortable around Nick. A.J. positioned himself where Nick had stood, taking Amber’s hand comfortingly in his. He liked the way her hand fit in his. Perfectly. Finally, A.J. spoke, his voice slightly off.

“Why would you do such a thing?” he asked her, proving that he cared and was hurt just by his tone.

Amber didn’t reply right away. She reached up under her hospital gown, touching the still fleshy, fresh scars on her from the gun shot wounds a month prior. They were a constant reminder of what had happened to her. She took in a deep breath, collecting her thought quickly before speaking from her heart.

“I...the rape and all. It’s been so...hard on me. Then my mom calling me after abandoning me. She...she just called...because of...me being with you. Plus my sudden...recognition. It...all happened too...fast. I’m afraid...to live.” she gasped, choking on tears of grief, “Nobody understands me.”

A.J. sighed, feeling sorry for the poor girl. She was right. So much had been piled on to her too quickly. He felt sorry that he, nor the others, had seen signs that she wasn’t doing as well as they’d led themselves to believe. Their ignorance had almost cost them a dear friend. A.J. took in a deep breath, about to admit something to the girl that he’d hoped would never have to come up. He had a feeling though, that it would win him her trust and also a stronger bond between them.

“You’re wrong though, Amber,” A.J. stated, “I do understand what you’re feeling...the depression and everything piling up. I know.”

Amber looked at him strangely, wondering what he had meant.

“How do you know?” she asked him, her tears subsiding somewhat.

A.J. closed his eyes, conjuring up enough courage to bring up a part of his past he wished he could forget and put behind him. Amber stared up at him, curiosity getting the better of her of what he was going to tell her.

“Because, a few years ago, I was extremely depressed over events going on in my life. We have one thing in common. Although you over dosed intentionally because of your problems, a few years ago, I turned to drugs to escape my own and even though it was not purposely, had an O.D. as well.”