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Often times, now after the accident and everything that has happened, I take the time to look back at what I've been through growing up, and I realize how lucky I am. As each day of my life goes by, the appreciation I have for my family grows enormously. There aren't words to describe how grateful I am for the loving environment I was able to grow up in, and the wonderful lessons I learned in the process.

My parents are loving people, that is never something I have doubted, and I remember being young and watching them go through so much, especially with us kids, and wonder how much they could actually take before they had enough.

Sean had been born so weak and frail, and he'd been sick on and off for the first few years of his life. The hospital bills had been astronomical, but somehow they managed to pay them off. Both my parents worked when I was growing up so they could provide for us, and most of the time Clay was left to watch Sean and me. Jarrod and Ryan were in the picture even back then, and a lot of times they'd come over to help Clay watch us. To me it wasn't like I was being babysat. I was getting to hang out with my brothers, which I honestly began to, and still do, think Jarrod and Ryan both as.

I had my own share of problems, too, growing up as a tomboy and not really being accepted by everyone at school when I was younger. It was to be expected since I grew up with so many male role models influencing me, but it was really tough on me growing up. Things did change as I grew older, and by the time I was in high school I was accepted as an athlete and became just as popular as any other kid, but I remember so many times I would be in my room crying and every member of my family would do their best to cheer me up. I have memories from talks I have had with each of them, all of them encouraging me in their own way and helping me grow into the person I am today.

Clay wasn't perfect, no matter how amazing I make him sound. Everyone has their faults and things that they've done which might not have necessarily been the smartest things to do. Clay had those times, too. He was a normal kid growing up in a world full of temptations and peer pressures, just like everyone, but I think he had a little more of a wild side to him that made him want to experience everything as soon as he could. Once he grew out of his rebellious phase, Clay matured really fast, and when he got to college it was like he developed into the man he'd dreamt so long about becoming. That didn't keep him from making mistakes, though.

When he was just a freshman in college, Clay and his girlfriend broke the news to our parents that they were pregnant, and would be having a baby in less than six months. This obviously was a shock to our family, though from what I saw, my parents embraced the circumstances and made the most of it. When Clay's girlfriend was kicked out of her house, my parents moved Clay's room to the basement so she could live with us and they could have some privacy. Of course, there were times where the stress and demands really got to my parents, so obviously things weren't perfect, but as I've grown older I've begun to really admire the way my parents handled the situation and how much of a good thing it grew into.

Courtney was born so soon, it still hadn't sunk in for me even when Clay let me hold his daughter for the first time and I looked down into a pair of familiar eyes I'd known my whole life, only this time they were so innocent and beautiful in a purely infant way. Courtney became the joy of our lives, all of us taking a hand in raising her. And the side of my brother that came out through Courtney was a side I'd never seen before.

Clay had always tried to please everyone, which in turn made everyone appreciate him and love him. The way he embraced being a father was spectacular, and the support he gave his daughter's mother was amazing as well, despite the fact that they chose not to stay together but still raise their daughter jointly. It was as if Clay lived simply to make others happy because he went out of his way whenever anyone asked him to, and even when it wasn't asked of him. It didn't matter to him, he would do anything for you if he could.

Ironically, his best quality is what got him killed.

Especially after high school, Clay had never been one to drink very much, but made it known to his friends that he would always pick them up if they needed a ride. He didn't want his friends driving drunk or possibly ending up dead.

So that fatal night, Clay was in bed when his phone rang. Jarrod called because he and Ryan were at a party and had consumed a few too many drinks to drive home. Without hesitation, and rather than Jarrod and Ryan attempt to find an unsafe ride home, Clay got out of bed and picked his friends up. On their way home, Clay was amused by the drunken antics of his friends, and didn't have time to react when a car headed straight towards them, driving on the wrong side of the road at a speed much higher than the legal limit.

Six hours later, Clay was dead. They'd performed emergency surgery, but in the end, his injuries were too severe. Ryan and Jarrod were both still in surgery so they weren't even able to say goodbye to their best friend.