“Tell me about the day the world ended.”

The world hasn’t ended. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Don’t look at me like that. I’m alive ain’t I?

I can walk. I can talk. I can even still sing. And don’t go telling nobody else yet, but my doc says I can even be back to doing our dance shit soon so we’ll be able to pick up our tour again in a few weeks. It’s crazy how our new CD is setting all kinds of new records and everything, isn’t it? It’s way beyond our wildest expectations for this one, you know? So, we’re on top of the world again; it hasn’t ended.

I don’t even know why I’m here.

So I got held hostage for a while and got to have my own little radio show. I’m probably the most famous DJ in the world. I always wanted to be one of those, you know?  So it wasn’t the end of the world.

So I got shot a couple times. I’m still breathing.

Is it weird that I don’t really want to talk about it, you think? I mean I know everyone’s saying it’s such a huge deal. And I get it. I do. I know it’s not every day shit like this happens. But really, all I had to do is sit around in a dingy big room for 17 days, and then a dingy little room for the next 15. But it’s not like anything really bad happened.

You know what I mean. I’m not like in denial. I know what happened. I know about Leigh, Girard…Hannah. But nothing really bad happened to me.

And I damn well made sure nothing happened to Jenny and Jordan.

I kept them safe. For Brian. I didn’t let nothing happen to them. We sat around playing games and shit. Hardly the end of the world. Not for me.

Not for Brian, either. Yeah it was horrible for him to lose Leighanne like that. That was so unfair. I still can’t believe that happened. She wasn’t even part of it! Not directly, anyway. I mean I guess it must have been really terrible for the two of them sitting outside, not knowing how their kids were. I wish I could have assured them on the air, but, you know, those guys kept pretty close watch on me and kept me from saying anything too ‘revealing’ on the air.

But no, the world didn’t end when Leighanne died. Brian’s still got his two healthy and happy kids to raise. They’re doing pretty good, too.

Did you know that I’ve been living with them? You’d think they’d be all sick of me and everything, but it’s been cool. I’ve been like helping out with them while Brian’s been helping me recuperate and all. My mom wanted me to come stay with her, but I told her that I wasn’t up to flying and I’m not supposed to be driving. I love my family and all, but they drive me a little crazy after a bit. Mom and BJ did come out here for a couple days right at first. And Les was here just last week. Aaron and Angel pop in now and then to check on me and it’s been nice to see more of them. But I’m always also kinda glad when they leave. I know it’s because they care, but it’s just a little aggravating the way they act around me these days. I’m still me, you know. I’m still Nicky, even though I hate it when they call me that. I’m not going to break.

Anyway, so I’ve been staying with Brian and the kids. They’ve been great. It’s funny because after we got out, Brian got them a real Candy Land game board. They were all excited when I got home because they’d wanted to wait for me before they opened it up. Would you believe they didn’t even want to play with it when they realized it wasn’t like the one I made? How funny is that? I mean the one…from the Stereo King? It was just a bunch of scribbles and silly little doodles and there weren’t even the right spaces or any of that stuff. And by that last night it was so filthy and battered from use that it deserved to be put to rest. But they wanted our board back anyway. So it’s not the same, but we drew a new one together. Brian must have thought we were completely crazy but he went along with it and even threw out the real board to put ours in the box. Who’d have thought that a silly little game I made for AJ’s birthday party would end up being such a big hit?

God, AJ’s party. I almost forgot about that. We’d been there, what? Seventeen days?  Eighteen if you count the night we were taken. I didn’t even think about what day it was. Hell, I don’t think even AJ realized what day it was until Jenny asked if we were having a party.

 “A party?” AJ asked her, giving me a strange look, thinking I put her up to it somehow.

“Well yeah. It’s your birthday, silly,” she informed us all in a matter-of-fact tone.

At that, Jordy bounced up, going from mellow nap mode to full-fledged hyper in 3 seconds flat. “It’s your birthday! It’s your birthday!” he began to half yell, half sing.

Barely sparing a glance at our captors, I launched myself to my feet and snatched Jordan up, swinging him into the air and around until his singing dissolved into a fit of laughter. It was still too loud, but it was down to a much safer level. I carefully set him down and motioned Jenny over to us, kneeling down to their level so we could have a conspirational (or whatever that word is) talk. Anything to get them back away from of our captors’ attention. And I had just the idea to keep them quiet all day.

“You can’t tell AJ,” I whispered t them, giving AJ a small wink over the top of their heads, “but we’re gonna have a surprise party for him tonight!”

Jenny’s face lit up with excitement at the prospect of a party, and Jordy immediately quieted his laughter so we could get down to business. “Are we going to have balloons?” he asked quite seriously. “Because I don’t like balloons,” he added quickly as I prepared myself to let him down gently.

“He gets scared when they pop,” Jenny filled me in, earning her a dirty look from her twin.

I couldn’t help but smile though. “It’s okay,” I assured him. “I do, too!” It wasn’t true, really. Well maybe a little. But the grin he gave me made the half-lie worth it. “No, we’re gonna skip the balloons this time.”

“But we are going to have games, right?” Jenny looked for confirmation.

“Well of course we’re going to have games!” I assured her. “In fact, we’re going to have to be really quiet, so AJ doesn’t figure it out, but we’re going to make some games now. Sound like fun?”

To my relief both of them nodded. “Okay, I’m going to get us some paper. Don’t tell AJ what we’re up to, okay?”

“Can I tell Hannah?” Jenny asked.

I glanced over to where AJ’s girlfriend lay sleeping, her head in his lap. “Not now. Let her sleep.”

“All she does is sleep anymore,” Jenny complained. It was true. Hannah did really well keeping up appearances at first, but the past few days she’d been really down. I couldn’t say I blamed her, of course. After seventeen days without a proper shower and eating only junk food none of us were in the best of moods. On top of that, she’d been pretty sick the past few days, as well.

“You can tell her when she wakes up,” I tried to appease her, but could tell that she was still a little miffed at my ruling. “Why don’t you go tell Uncle Kevin?” I suggested. “And maybe see if Donnie and Gray want to help us?” That would maybe help keep them occupied while I went and bargained with our captors for some paper and markers.  I don’t know why they wouldn’t let us keep them instead of making us give them back every day; it’s not like we’d be able to paper cut them to death or stab them with the markers. But every day it was the same routine. I go, they make me grovel, they give us the daily ration of paper and the markers, we use them for as long as they let us, and they take them away again. Same thing day after day.  I hated it, but if it kept Jenny and Jordon quiet and happy, I’d do it.

“What do you want?” Hatch sneered as I approached him.

I bit back the angry retort about getting out of the basement, knowing that I had to play the obedient hostage or risk getting him mad. Getting any of our captors mad had proven to be a mistake. The one Kevin dubbed Taser had no problem living up to his name and seemed to get a real high out of using his taser gun on any of us at any time. He was just plain crazy, so sometimes he didn’t even seem to need a reason to shoot. Hatch and Joe both preferred more traditional forms of violence. They also pretty much kept us in line with threats to Hannah, as well as to Donnie and the other kids. But the way they looked at Hannah especially always chilled me to the core. I knew the look. Pure lust. I know I’ve felt that before, and more than once, but I hope to God I was never that…creepy looking about it. So none of us would let them alone with her for even a moment. Not even for the daily trips to the bathroom. And one of us always stayed awake to keep watch. Much as I hated to admit it, they held all the cards. So until our circumstances changed, we all had to play nice.

“Can we have some paper and the markers?” I asked, hastily adding, “Sir,” when his expression darkened just a little bit. They weren’t any older than me (in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if they were younger) but they seemed to like it when we had to call them that. Sign of respect, my ass, but if it kept us all safe…

“What’ll you give me for ‘em, tough guy?” He licked his lips in anticipation as I resigned myself to giving him what he was after. I grit my teeth, hating everything about the situation. I shouldn’t have to debase myself for just a little bit of paper. But I did what I had to do.

“You okay?” Gray asked me quietly as I returned to them with our prizes in hand. I shrugged a little as I handed him a couple sheets of the paper. He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he took the pages and sat down with the kids and Donnie. “Let’s make some decorations! I can show you how to make snowflakes!” he announced and I couldn’t help but smile a little as Jenny and Jordan excitedly watched him begin folding the page.

I almost jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder but relaxed as I realized that it was only Kevin.

“I’ll get them tomorrow,” he offered softly, but I shook my head. “Nicky…I…”

“It’s okay,” I cut him off, giving him a small wave. “Don’t worry about it. You know you just piss ‘em off. I’ll do it. I’m okay.” He looked for a moment as though he was going to argue, and I could see his eyes watering just a little bit, but he nodded.

“I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be,” I insisted. “I know how to deal with them. I can take it.” And you can’t, I added silently. Neither could any of the others. I wouldn’t ask it of Donnie; he’s just a kid. And AJ and Gray were both fairly small men and would be no match physically against any of our captors. I, at least, can hold my own.  And unlike Kevin, so far, despite all temptation, I’ve managed to control my temper. So that pretty much left it to me to act as the go-between.

“So, what games do you guys want to play tonight?” I quickly changed gears and sat down with the kids, closing the subject before Kevin got a chance to say anything more.

“How about Monotony?” Jordan asked, looking at me with pleading eyes.

“Monotony?” Donnie asked, his brows furrowing.

“You mean Monopoly?” I asked, pretending to glare at AJ for telling the kids the opposing name.

“Yeah, Monotony!” Jen agreed, bouncing a little bit.

I thought for a few moments. It would never work. We’d need far too much paper to create money and everything. We’d have to do something a lot simpler. Too bad Clue would be so hard to make, I always liked that one. “How about…Chutes and Ladders?” I suggested.  I laughed as both of the twins wrinkled their noses. “Okay…Candy Land?”

The name of this one immediately piqued their interests.

And so we spent a large part of the afternoon creating the board. I couldn’t remember the official names of any of the areas in the game, but the kids were quite happy to have the Sour Patch (Kids) Patch, the Gummi Pit, and Marshmallow Fields among other things. The board probably didn’t even come close to the real one, but it really didn’t matter. All in all, that afternoon as we made that game and came up with decorations and everything for the party, it was the most fun we’ d had since we’d been taken. To be honest, I think it was more fun than we’d had in a while even before that.

Since the kids were quiet, our captors had left us alone for most of the day.

During our daily trip to the bathroom to wash up I took a chance and asked our captors to try and negotiate with the police and FBI for some pizzas and maybe a cake or something. I knew I was pushing it, that we’d been really lucky that we were being provided with food at all. The first few days here we hadn’t been. I suspect that the police and FBI or whoever were trying to starve our captors out. But then, most likely because of the kids and because three of us hostages were famous enough that the world was watching, they’d given in and started providing us with at least a couple small meals a day.  So far they hadn’t even done anything to the food, like…I’d hoped for maybe a special added sedative or something. But I guess the threat from our captors that if any of them had any sort of “reaction” to anything they’d kill a hostage was good enough to keep the food untainted. The meals were meager, and we definitely weren’t getting what Leighanne always stressed as being ‘proper nutrition’, but we got enough to stave off hunger pains, so I couldn’t complain too much. And I always made sure to save some of mine to feed the kids for afternoon snacks to keep them comfortably in their routine.

So it was a really good day. For the first time in forever we all got more than enough to eat and we played us some Candy Land and it was generally a good time. Even Hannah came out of her depression and started to have a little fun.

But, of course, it was bound to come crashing to an end at some point.

I’m not sure how long they’d been standing there watching us, but I first became aware of them as they joined us in singing “Happy Birthday” to AJ. I tensed as Joe slung his arm over Hannah’s shoulder as we sang the final line. She cried out as he suddenly leaned in and nipped at her ear.

 “Get off her,” AJ demanded in a low voice.

“AJ!” Kevin hissed, warningly.

“What?! I’m not just gonna--" Joe had his gun pressed to AJ’s throat before he had a chance to finish that line. I grabbed the kids and pulled them back, turning them away from what was happening.

“It’s okay,” I whispered, crouching down and placing my arms around their trembling bodies. It wasn’t, and more than anything I wanted to do something--anything--to stop what was happening, but I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk having the kids see…anything like that. “We’re going to play another little game. Okay?”

They both looked at me for a moment, and I could see the tears and the fear on both of their faces, but they nodded, trustingly. “Okay. I need you two to go over there behind the table and crouch down. Close your eyes and cover your ears.” Jordan started to try to look past me, but I purposely blocked his view. “Okay?”

They both nodded solemnly. “Okay good. I need you to stay down and keep your ears covered until one of us comes to get you. We’re going to--” I thought fast, “--make some changes around the room and when you come out you’ll have to figure out what they are. Okay?” It sounded incredibly lame, and I could see the kids thought so, too, but they also seemed to sense that they should do what I said, anyway.

“Come on, Jenny,” Jordy whispered, taking his sister’s hand. They both hesitated for just a moment longer, and then, as if they knew something I didn’t, they both leaned into me, hugging me hard before following my directions.

Once they were out of the way, I turned back toward what was happening to the others.

“You don’t have to do this,” Kevin was trying to talk Joe into lowering his gun away from where he now had it pressed to AJ’s forehead.

“Please, Alex, it’s okay,” Hannah whispered. She looked fearfully at Hatch and Taser, then back at Joe. “Please. Don’t hurt him. I’ll…do whatever you want. Just don’t.” She looked at Kevin, who had tears on his face even as he nodded. He slowly moved closer to AJ, ready to hold him back.

Taser chuckled as he pulled Hannah away from the group and forced her toward the stairs. I could see the pure hatred and the despair in AJ’s eyes as she made a small whimpering noise. I could hear a guttural growl coming from him, but he was helpless to do anything to stop what was going to happen.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let this happen. I know that every single other person in the room felt the same way, but there wasn’t anything any of us could do at this point to stop it. They had the guns. They had the power. And it was clear this time that they weren’t going to take no for an answer. If we all rushed them we might have a chance, but more likely one or all of us would be killed. There was nothing any of us could do for her.

Joe slowly backed toward the stairwell, his gun still aimed at my friends.

 “Kev, let me go!”  AJ pleaded as Kevin held him back.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…” Kev was whispering over and over. I’m not sure if he was saying it to AJ, to Hannah, or possibly even to himself. Grayson, Donnie, and I stood back, each of us frozen with…grief, horror, helplessness, you name it, and we were all feeling it.

And then I wasn’t frozen anymore. I couldn’t just let this happen. “Leave her alone!” I demanded as I pushed past the others, placing myself between the gun and AJ.

“Nick, no!” I heard Kevin, but I could barely hear him beyond the sound of my own heart beating.

Hatch and Joe both recovered quickly and stared me down for a few moments, clearly weighing their options. After a moment, Hatch drew out his own gun and moved closer, the predatory look he gave me sending shivers down my spine. “What’re you going to do about it, tough guy?” he asked, mockingly.

“Just leave her alone,” I repeated, though my voice and my burst of courage were rapidly depleting.

“You want to come upstairs with us. Is that it?”

 I could feel my body tremble ever so slightly, but I held my ground.

 “Well come on, then, tough guy.” With his free hand he reached down and grasped my wrist, squeezing it tight before jerking me forward, pressing the gun against the hollow of my throat.

“No, no, no,” I could hear Kevin behind us as Hatch ushered me past Joe and up the stairs after Hannah.

It would be another fifteen days before I saw Kevin or AJ again.

But as you see, the world didn’t end.

I’m still here.

Which I shouldn’t be. I think the kids are waiting for me. Brian and me are taking them to the movies tonight.

Is it okay if I go?