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Shortly after A.J went into rehab, I started to get the itch to go solo. The guys always brushed it off as being the wrong time and I never had the courage to argue with them. That all changed when they decided to fire management pretty much without consulting me. Being the youngest, I seldom had a hand in any of the big decisions made which affected the group generally just going with the flow and trusting them. I however was old enough to realize that I enjoyed being a part of the Firm and resented their decision to leave. I decided to take a stand and remain with them as a solo artist. True that the guys, particularly Brian, were not happy with the decision but since we were getting ready to go on a hiatus, they felt now was the best time for me to branch out.

That's when the threats started coming. Nothing major at first, mostly angry teeny bopper fans unhappy with my choice to "Destroy the band" I wouldn't really even call them threats. More like hate mail. "How could you do this to them, you traitor" Nothing like an understanding, supportive fan I always say. On the other end of the spectrum, I received actual gifts from NSync and Otown fans, thanking me for helping their bands. Why do people think we are competing against each other? Jeez Louise, I wish they would stop playing into the hype. It kind of makes me sick because I can see that the press is going to pit Justin and I against each other because we are both working on solo stuff. I like the guy. Do I listen to his music? hell no!! Do I listen to ours? Hell no!! NSync is doing better than us for one reason only. They have a better business sense then we do. Unfortunately, that's what this entire business boils down to. Sad but true.

So, I just tried my best to ignore the harsh words and go about my day. Trish, my personal assistant came up to me about a month ago with an alarmed look on her face.

"I think you better read this" she said and handed me an envelope with no return address.
Always a bad sign in pop star land. Most people gave you a return address along with a list of at least five numbers where they can be reached, you know, just in case you should decide to drop everything and run away with them. I normally wouldn't even bother looking at the obvious death threat except for the fact that Trish was so frazzled. I opened it up and I have to admit was a bit taken back by the particularly insane tone of the letter. It was one page long written in red marker, my guess is to simulate blood. There was nothing but jibberish written down. Tons of consonants with maybe a vowel thrown in for good measure. What was really scary was the pictures that illustrated the jibberish. Mostly devils and one angel hanging on a noose. My guess is that would be me. The only legible thing was the ending, maybe it was a signature who knows. All it said was Mizpah, Nick. Weird but clever, I'll give her that much.

"What should we do about this" Trish was waiting for some kind of reply from me.

"Nothing I guess, what can we do? For all we know it's just a fan from another planet" I thought it was funny but she didn't.

"Nick we really should tell security about it. Just in case." I didn't argue and I let her call security.

My little stalker as I like to now call her didn't really make many more appearances until about two weeks ago. Yet another envelope showed up with more jibberish, devil heads, hanging angel and Mizpah, Nick but there was a p.s. this time: I always get what I want. So security has been very tight following me everywhere and keeping me prisoner in my hotel room. I'm not really worried about the whole stalker thing. Frankly, if I had my choice between stalker or another uncomfortable session with the buys, I'd choose Mizpah lady.