"How is she?"

"Went out like a light." She smiled and the two ate their meal. After AJ insisted on doing the dishes, after asking him if it was okay that he be left with the dishwasher Kayce permitted it. When everything was all cleaned and cleared away the two made it upstairs, Kayce laid across AJ's bed and a grin.

"Smartass."

"What can I say? I learn from the best." They laughed.

"Hey, that's my line."

"Tough love baby." He smirked and dodged the flying pillow coming towards him.

"Why do I deal with you? Your a pain in the ass."

"Aww I'm sorry." He place his hand to his heart. "Next time I'll go slower." He joked and Kayce threw up her middle finger. "Later..." AJ whispered, laughter written all over his face.

"Oh bite me already!" She waved her arms around.

"Damn girl calm down, I had no ideal you like it violent." AJ laughed.

"Yeah.." Kayce played along.

"Ah, you know you want this...."

"Like a heart attack." AJ laughed, he really enjoyed there little flirt session they have everyday. She made him laugh which let's face it no one really could after Kat.

"Well, I'm not trying to brag but I've been known to speed up heart waves." She just rolled her eyes and changed the subject, not that talking about him speeding up her heart waves was a bad thing, she laughed to herself.

"Anything good on? And no spice channels." Kayce smirked, reaching for the remote but AJ stopped her.

"Alex..."

"Listen..." The light tapping of rain could be heard outside the window. "Come..." He said softly. "...watch the rain with me." He took her hand in his and lead them to the window. As they looked out across the darkness they saw the rain fall by the dim light of the stars that fell across the sky. AJ took two pillows from his bed and laid them on the carpeted floor. "Here." He helped her and they both laid on the softness of the floor. Even with that lack of light in the room they could make out each others faces, a small smile appeared on both. "Kat and I used to do this when we were together." He said after some time. "Watch...just listen to the rain fall...something about it just washes the day before away you know?"

"I know how you feel."

"She holds a big piece of my heart and she always will..."

"And that's normal Alex." Kayce assured him. "She was your love and the mother of your child, it's only natural you love her."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed. The coming weeks are going to be hard for him and he knows it. The 14th kept playing over and over in his head. How was he going to do it this time? Before he didn't have these feelings for Kayce so it wasn't as hard but a year later it's a whole different story, he's in love again. A feeling that scared the hell out of him, one that he had been so long without he wasn't sure he could recognize it anymore. "No way.." He told himself, "I'm just a mess right now, why ruin a great friendship on mixed emothions?" He sighed and looked over at Kayce who was trying to read his eyes. "I want to say these words...three little words...but I don't know how. I fear that I shouldn't say them till I learn the meaning, I don't want to hurt her...for hurt is the last thing she deserves."

"What are you thinking?" She pulled him up from the floor and they laid side by side in the comfort of his sheets. The rain continued to dance on the window. "What's going on up there?" She asked as they once again where facing each other.

"How lucky I am." AJ answered after some time. "The many things I've been blessed with...that after all the rain has fallen on my life..." He paused. "You complete me." He thought. "I don't feel so lost." He cursed himself for lying. He felt as lost as a child right now who desperately needs guidance. He was trying so hard to force out the past and live here and now but Kat still plug his heart, his dreams...his memory. "I could use a drink.....where did that come from?" He wondered and tucked a stay hair from Kayce's face. She let out a content sigh and fell into a peaceful sleep, AJ on the other hand watch the rain from his spot. "I don't want to wash away my love for you Kat I...just need to deal without it." He sighed and against his better judgment slid away carefully not to wake Kayce and made his way to his office. Once inside he locked the door and opened his journal only writing down two words. He unlocked his top desk draw and pulled out an old friend as lighting now light up the room and thunder bellowed throughout the walls. He discarded the top and took a mouth full, the contents burn his throat on the way down, he fell to the floor griping the bottle and knocking over his journal...crying from everything, he thought he could fool himself into thinking he was better but the truth was he wasn't and now he had proof of it, he was a failure....no better then he was before. Old habits die hard.

June 10, I'm sorry...