"Alex?"

"Bathroom." AJ called to Kayce as the hot water relaxed his tired mussel's. As he foamed up the towel once again he thought of last night and smiled till the harsh reality hit him. He had a moment of weakness and drank a whole bottle of JD. AJ sighed and rubbed his sore temples, he had all the reason's in the world to go back to the bottle but they where the same as the ones telling him not to. He stepped out the shower feeling dizzy, he grabbed at the sink to keep his balance. The pain was horriable..."It never goes away..." He muttered to himself. "I need this to end." After wrapping a towel around himself he made his way back to his bedroom and laid across the bed. Kayce looked on from the doorway not really knowing what to do let alone what was going on.

"Are you ok?" She slowly crept to the bed sitting on the edge. AJ didn't bulge neither did he move from his position. Kayce traced the tattoo on his back and kissed his shoulder blade...when she noticed his breathing even and figured he was sleep. She left and returned with a pencil and pad. She studied him for a minute and began drawing his outline. "Damn you for being perfect." She silently giggled. "Poor baby." She soothed his hair. "Sweet dreams." She finished up her outline and left him in what she thought was a peaceful dream but little did she know it was far from that.

"So that's when he kissed me." Jenna stuck out her tongue. Kayce followed her through the front door to the living room, she had just picked her up from school.

"Oh really?" She giggled.

"Then he gaves me flowers."

"Well, what did you do with them?"

"Threw them away, boys are yucky." Jenna laid out on the carpeted floor and began doing her homework. "Plus daddy would be mad." She smirked.

"And whys that?" Kayce asked helping her with her math.

"Because...Billy puts fake tattoos on his arms and said he was going to be a rock star." She sighed. "I don't know how he thinks he's going to find a star in a rock but that's a boy for ya." Kayce couldn't help but laugh a little.

"I see."

"And daddy's a pop star so he might pop him one!" Jenna smiled making a swing with her tiny fist.

"Isn't that the truth." AJ half smiled as he walked into the room and placed a kiss on their cheeks. "Ladies..." He nodded and took a seat across from the pair. Kayce studied him and in her eyes he could see her questions. "Nothings wrong..." He whispered, trying to convince himself more then her. Kayce just nodded and continued helping Jenna. There was something wrong and she knew it, it was in the way the air felt last night. Something was going on inside him and he won't let her in to help. She just sighed and decided to clear it for right now, at least that's what she wanted to do, but something told her this was just the start of what's to come.

"Two plus two is four..." Jenna smiled and wrote her answer, bringing Kayce back to reality. After finishing her homework Jenna made her way to her room to watch her favorite movie, The Pagemaster, well of the moment that is. "I loves this movie daddy." She sighed and laid across her bed watching Alex pop in the tape.

"Why do you love this movie so much sweets?"

"Cus the books talk." She smiled brightly as the beginning came on and she shushed him out the room. Alex just smiled and told her he'd come for her when dinner was ready and left her to watch her movie. Making his way down the hall he caught his bedroom door opened and went in to find Kayce deep in thought by the window.

"Hey." He approached her slowly after closing the door, trying to read her feelings which seemed to far to grab. "What's wrong?" She just continued to stare out the window. "Kayce?"

"You tell me Alex...." She whispered as it started to rain.

"What do you mean?"

"I thought I knew you but...but now I'm just not so sure." She looked him in the eyes. "Aren't we friends?"

"Yes, of course...why would you ask that?" He sat beside her and watched as the late day turned to early night.

"You should be able to tell me anything at least I thought you would." Kayce looked at his puzzled features and sighed holding up her find. "What are you doing with this Alex?" She asked holding up the empty bottle of JD. Alex turned his head in shame and shrugged his sore shoulders.

"Where did you find that?" Sadness filled his voice as his mind wondered of her thoughts of him.

"Does it matter? What matters is I found it and I want to know why? Why are you doing this to yourself again, to your daughter? Doesn't she matter to?"

"She matters more then life itself, more then mine." Alex sighed running his fingers threw his hair trying to calm his nerves. "Things always get tense around the anniversary of that night, I used to be able to control it but now...it seems I've been hiding it and now it's come back to bite me in the ass Kace...I don't..I don't know what to do." He stuttered. "I know it's wrong and that I shouldn't have but I couldn't help..."

"How long has it been since you started back..." She cut him off quietly.

"It was only once, last night..."

"Why? I don't understand.."

"You remind me so much of her sometimes Kayce, your laugh, you smile and I thought I could handle it I mean...for the most part I have but last night, was different."

"God, why didn't you tell me the pain I'm causing you? I would have moved out if I had known that you..." His head shot up at her statement as he grabbed her hands.

"That's not what I want...I don't want you to leave us...we need you, more then you know." He thought back to Jenna. "I'll never want that Kayce."

"But I'm hurting you so maybe I should leave, I'll still be a baby-sitter for Jenna..."

"You'll hurt me more then words can say if you don't stay." His eyes pleaded with hers. Kayce smiled and nodded. "Does that mean you're going to stay?" She looked into his hopeful eyes and sadness filled her once again.

"First lets talk about this." She motioned to the bottle. "You miss Kat, I know and that's very understandable babe, really it is but you have a child to think of now. A child that's going to depend on you to be there for her and to be strong for her now when she can't be. Jenna's young and needs her father with her and thinking clearly." Alex just sat there and let her words sink in, he knew deep down she was right and that she was only trying to help him before he got to that place again, a place no human wants to be...their own personal hell.

"I don't want to be that person again Kayce...I really don't." He broke down and cried in her arms. "I'm scared to death that Jenna's going to grow up to hate me, that I could have done more to save Kat. I don't want my baby to hate me...I love her so much and you and I both know I'd do anything for her but I don't want her thinking I let her mother die, damn it if only I had gotten there quicker...I could have stop that bastard!" He yelled, crying violently while Kayce just watched him lash out his anger. "She would be alive and here with me!....I could...I-I could..." He fell into her arms as the tears overtook him silently crying in her neck. "I could..."

"That wasn't your fault...is wasn't your fault." She rocked him against the softness of her body and he buried his face in the warmth of her neck. "Don't blame yourself...you have to stop punishing you have no wrongs."

"I just feel so alone...I think I need more help...just a little bit more to help me get over this once and for all."

"You want me to call your AA leader and set up a session? You need to tell her about last night."

"Will you go with me?" She just smiled and nodded. "Thank you..." A whisper fell between them as comfortable silence set in. After a while they moved a part and shared soft feelings of friendship. "I trust you more then I trust myself. I don't know why but I do...but something deep down tells me that there's a reason for that, one I haven't figured out yet." He brushed her fallen hair from her eyes and kissed the corner of her mouth.

"Daddy?" A small voice came from the door and the two turned to find Jenna. "I'm hungry." To walked over to the two and laid in Alex's lap. "Feed me." Smiling he kissed her forehead and the three made their way downstairs to fix a bit a dinner and headed off to bed.

"Monsters Nicky house." Jenna yawned as Kayce tucked her in.

"I've Fed EXed all their things over there so that can't come back." Alex smiled and the young one. "Uncle Nicky is in for a real treat tonight." Jenna giggled at her crazy father and drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Instead of leaving Alex sat there and watched her. He looked at how graceful she looked and tears pricked his eyes as he whispered to the night. "Thank god for moments like these where I know that I am living for a reason," He looked down. "And that reason is you." He kissed her tiny hand wishing she would stay this way forever. "You'll never knew how much daddy loves you sweets..that would take over a lifetime in itself." He sighed wiping his eyes. "I'm not going to go down that road again Jenna, I promise you that...I'll be strong and here to protect you." Tears began to spill from his eyes as Kayce stood from the doorway watching. "I'll protect you..." He softly kissed her cheek and tucked her covers around her to keep the chill in the air off her, Kayce smiled at his back and took this as her cue to leave and made her way to her room closing the door behind her. After he was sure she was sleep and felt he could leave Alex made his way to his room but stopped short as he found it empty. Look across the hall he went to knock on Kayce's door but it opened and from the door he watched her sleeping form. He didn't want to be alone, not after a night like this so he climbed into bed next to her and wrapped his arm around her, taking a deep sigh he fell into his first real night of peace as the night sky began to clear. "A new day has come."