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Chapter 15 – Unyielding Love

Oriana seemed to calm down into a slighter degree of panic when Alex left to venture into his bedroom. She had calmed her frazzled nerves by putting on her Paula Abdul CD. Now, she just paced along the length of her bedroom, flipping through the book Howie had given her while moving her hips to the beat. Every word she read seemed to cause the cloud her heart was resting on to float higher into the Heavens. A sweet smile spread across her beautiful face until she heard the faint tapping on her door. She tossed the book to her bed with a soft screech of nervousness. She quickly went to retrieve the door, shocked by Howie's painful appearance. She recoiled with confusion as he lingered in the doorway. "Are you okay... Howie?"

"Alex says I should wait until I'm not in pain and pissed off at his brother to talk to you... but I didn't want you to think I'm blowing you off, because I really want to talk to you. Is it alright is I lay down on your bed while we talk?" Howie asked, grimacing as he tried to keep his back straight.

Oriana's light blonde brows knitted together in confusion in Howie's rushed sentences. Nothing seemed to make sense at that moment. And, the initial rush she felt whenever Howie showed was now just a numbness in the core of her stomach. She knew whatever that would be spoken probably wouldn't end on the best of terms. She gently rushed to Howie's side when he stumbled in agony, helping him loop his arms around her neck to steady himself. "You know, we don't have to talk. You're not blowing me off... And if you're in pain... I mean, we can do this any time, right?"

"I just didn't want to hurt your feelings or make you think I didn't want to persue anything with you," Howie clenched his teeth as Oriana led him to her bed. He carefully laid down on his stomach with her help.

"It's not a big deal. Seriously, we can do this another time... I mean, I don't know what's wrong or what happened... But you seem to be in agony..." Oriana sighed, reaching to tuck her pillows underneath his head for comfort.

"I know, but I..." Howie sighed heavily, his thoughts jumbled. "Could you do me a favor and take a look at my back?"

"What's wrong with your back?" Oriana asked, carefully sliding onto the edge of her bed.

"Brian and I got into a fight that turned a little violent. He rammed my back into the corner of the couch about three times," Howie's back seemed to throb more just at the memory of it.

"Were you trying to score Teagan's number?" Oriana joked softly, just wanting Howie to laugh. Yet, she got no such response and simply relented to checked his back. She gently eased herself onto his lower legs, lifting the hem of his baggy t-shirt up. She winced with remorse as he buried a howl of pain into her pillows.

But the sight before her was absolutely wicked, causing her to gasp in shock. Dark black bruises raced down the length of Howie's spine, radiating with a furious red coloring from inflammatory processes. A few breaks in his skin were oozing with a serous blood, but the bruises were awful.

"Holy shit... Howie... I mean..." Oriana was at a loss for words as she gently ran her hands down the sides of his back in hopes to comfort him. She could already see a few forming welts from the sharper pieces of the couch.

"H-How bad is it?" Howie stammered, turning his face from the pillow. Tears were in his eyes from pain at the simple act of pulling up his t-shirt.

"Howie, it's freaking awful," she breathed softly, gently massaging his sides in hopes to calm him. She could hear his throat catching with a painful sob. She shook her head in disbelief, deciding she might have to throw Brian into the couch a few times to give him the same lowly treatment. "You've got a lot of bruises, some scratches, and then two welts from jagged pieces of the couch I'm assuming..."

"It hurts," he whimpered softly, burying his face back into the pillows.

"Guess my hands aren't helping are they?" she sighed, carefully easing off of the bed. She walked toward the small fridge she kept within her room, pulling out two large ice packs. She then retrieved the softest towel she had and brought it back.

"Where did you go?" he asked, looking back up again. The held back teard had fallen, streaking his cheeks.

"Just to get you some ice packs to decrease the swelling and tenderness," she explained softly. She leaned over the bed to gently lay the blanket against Howie's tender back, then ever so carefully eased the ice packs onto the most furious portions of the bruising.

"Thank you," he whispered, biting on his bottom lip as the cold seeped into the flaming muscles.

"Give it a few minutes to work," she pleaded, noticing the tight grimace appearing across his usually flaccid features. She sighed with empathy, moving to sit at the head of her bed. She gently leaned down to brush away the fallen tears from Howie's beautiful eyes, not really knowing what else to do. Everything seemed so awkward.

"Oriana, I'm really sorry--"

"About what?" she interrupted, already not liking where the conversation was going. She could only guess what Brian had threatened. She should have known better than to hope for Howie's affections, since he was a close friend of Brian.

"I made things worse by confronting Brian. He... he really wants to hurt you. I'm not going to let that happen, and nothing can stop me from wanting to be with you. I'm just sorry that I'm thrusting this all on you when you don't even deserve this unfair hatred from Brian.”

Oriana sat back with the heavy words causing a sharp burn inside her tender heart. She could only focus on the end portion of Howie's statement: wanting to be with her, not simply being with her. She withdrew her hands from his teary cheeks, suddenly feeling disgusted with herself. The protective wall around her heart continued to build higher as she moved off of the bed, refusing to let Howie see the hurt in her eyes. "Wanting to be with and actually being with are two very different things."

"Excuse me?" Howie gulped.

"Just don't do me any favors, okay?" Oriana grunted softly, retrieving the Meatloaf shirt, the poetry book, and the picture of the surfboard from her pile of gifts. She had to stop this before it got too deep. The pain in her heart was already sickening, causing bitter tears to form within the corners of her eyes. "Don't lay there and hide behind Brian threatening to hurt me. I've dealt with enough arrogant assholes in my lifetime. I can defend myself. And... Look, if you want an easy way out, then go. Don't string me along like some little puppet. I don't need that. I have plans, good plans. Plans to leave this Hellhole and go to Duke. Don't mess me up by saying you might want to be with me or might not want to be with me. Just... Just take your stuff and just go.”

"Oriana, that was not what I said! I didn't kiss you the way I did with that attitude. I love you! Okay? I know you're scared of a relationship, that's why I said I wanted to be with you. I didn't want to make you nervous or anything! Why do you have to automatically think that I'm those other assholes you've dated when you know I'm not? God, I don't want a way out when the only thing I want is you!" Howie defended himself, sitting up on the bed without thinking. He immediately regretted it but still sat there.

"Just like you wanted me in Sophomore year? Is that how it goes? Because, judging from that little parade, I guarantee you're just like the assholes I've dated," she fired back, just wanting him to hurt as much as she did. Usually, she would never stoop to such petty instances, but Howie made her crazy. The very thought of Oriana loosing her heart to another self-proclaimed 'god' of her high school made her virtually sick. She didn't want the drama. She didn't want the chaos. She just wanted to be free.

“That was cold, Oriana. That was really cold," Howie whispered, his eyes full of hurt and anger. "I'm guessing Alex told you what happened. Maybe you weren't listening then, but if I was the asshole, why did I get the pleasure of walking in to see her fucking my neighbor?! If I'm the asshole, why did I get this scar from her throwing that box at me?" He pointed to the somewhat large scar above his eye. "Are you saying I deserved it when all I was doing was trying to convince myself that I would never be able to get the one person I wanted? Is that it?!"

“Alex didn't tell me jack-shit about anything. Your little love-nest was flung all around Tartan like a bad odor. It was hard not to turn a corner without seeing girls bawling their eyes out because our most 'eligible bachelor' was so deep in love. I mean, it's just really funny, right? To say you're in love with another girl, but to completely turn around to take another into your life with the hopes of marrying her. That's what the promise ring was for, right? Did you not even stop to think that it might get back to the girl that you allegedly wanted? Or was that what you were hoping for?" she quipped sarcastically, refusing to acknowledge the pain of his bitter relationship.

"I can't believe the foul words coming from your mouth," he seethed, stumbling to his feet. "You don't understand and with your bullheadedness, you never will. So why try anymore, right? That's what you want to hear, I know it. You got what you wished for, Oriana Riley. I give up."

"Yeah, that's exactly what I wished for. To have my heart torn out again. Fucking beautiful," she replied crisply, bringing a hand up to her mouth to muffle a sob. She refused to let him see the agony hiding behind her troubled eyes. So, she shielded herself from the pain, pushing her birthday gifts back into his arms.

"Like you didn't rip out mine," he spat back, putting her gifts on the bed before heading towards her door. "Those are yours."

"I don't want them. Brian might kill me if he finds those in my room," she retorted, her words dripping with an icy sarcasm.

“Don’t come crying to me if he hurts you, then. Because I warned you," Howie kept walking towards the door and was about to leave when he heard a thump. "What the fuck...?" he opened the door and two bodies fell into the room.

"Look! It's not what it looks like!" Nick blurted, jumping up from his position on the floor. He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans, bouncing on his feet. He really didn't want to fully meet the wrath Howie was lashing at Oriana.

"Bullshit it's not what it looks like. Howie sit your ass down. I'm here because this is fucking ridiculous," Alex seethed, immediately moving to grasp Oriana's face in his hands. His dark brown eyes were furious with disbelief as he gently shook her. "What the HELL are you doing?"

"Why the Hell do you even care?" she countered, struggling to get away from his grasp. She didn't need the whole entire world listening in on her non-existant love life. Alex and Teagan were wrong about Howie. Enough said.

"Because you're going to be my sister and you're screwing everything up with a potential relationship! You're not even listening to what he's saying and yes Brian did say all those nasty things. You may not know Howie as well as you think, but I do. He doesn't lie. And I know my brother. He's been really vile ever since our dad started dating and I can see him now saying those bad things. So stop acting like an idiot and listen to the truth Howie's telling you!"

"You don't even know me," Oriana countered as Alex pushed her firmly into the couch on the far wall of her room. It was her natural defenses to build a wall around her heart. It was how she protected herself from her mother's boyfriends and those boys at school. If she build a strong enough wall, she wouldn't have to care about what happened, then she wouldn't get hurt.

"Don't even pull the Jerry Springer line. Whether you care about me or not, I care about you. Obviously, you don't know anything about Brian, or you would be a little concerned with the threats he's made against you," Alex replied, making sure she stayed sitting. "Damnit, Ry, just stop building that defense to make sure you won't get hurt. You'll end up alone and will regret pushing Howie away. He loves you, and you threw it back in his face."

"Bu---"

"No, just shut up and let Howie talk. Okay? Just, for the love of God, Ry, listen to what he has to say. Listen to everything he has to say. Please?" Alex softly demanded, motioning for Howie to sit down next to Oriana. He then carefully turned the younger girl so she looked into Howie's painful eyes. Alex kept his hand firmly placed on Oriana's mouth, noticing her relinquish the power. "Howie, start by explaining about Christina first."

"Oriana..." Howie sighed heavily, brushing back the curls that had fallen into his face. His chocolate eyes were murky and unreadable. "I can explain Christina in five words. Biggest mistake of my life. I know I should have tried harder to get your attention, but I was beginning to think you would never notice me. And even if you did, you wouldn't want to be with me. So, I did an idiotic thing and started dating Christina. Right away I knew it was all wrong, but I pushed those thoughts away because my heart was telling me that this was the best I could get since I couldn't get you. I didn't love her, Oriana. I don't even think I liked her. I was lying to myself and making myself look like a moron in the process. The promise ring... besides just dating that slut, buying the ring was the biggest mistake. But I kept feeding my brain and heart lies, until the night I headed over to her house. She lived right down the street from me, and I always just walked in. I tried to find her, and finally went up to her room. I heard some noises. Ones that just made all my suspicions and fears come true as I opened the door. There she was, on top of my neighbor and fucking him without thought. They finally noticed I was there and they stopped. I stammered out my words and she just laughed in my face. I had dropped the box that held the ring onto the floor and she bent down to pick it up. I watched her open it in slow motion... and she laughed. Said that I was an ugly troll that no one will ever love and that the reason she cheated on me was because I never could quite please her the way she wanted. My neighbor, who I've known since kindergarten, seemed to have done the trick. So she closed the box and threw it at me. Hit me right above my eye here," he pointed to the scar once more. "After that, I became the joke of William's and most of Tartan."

Oriana swallowed hard at the bubble of guilt exploding from the depths of her stomach. She felt so awful about the bitter words exchanged between her and Howie. He had been betrayed and burned in the worst of ways, all because Oriana wouldn't give him the time of day. And it wasn't his fault that she held a low moral for her own personal beauty. She tried to speak, but Alex's hand was still perched tightly against her mouth. She muffled something, but it became incoherent. Finally, she reached her hands up to forcefully yank away Alex's hands. "I should be able to say something in return," she voiced without emotion.

"Did you listen to what he said?"

"Yes..." she drawled.

"Did you really listen?"

"For the love of God, Alex, I'm going to kick your ass out of my room in two seconds," Oriana groaned, pushing Alex's shoulder to cause him to fall back onto the carpet. Oriana shifted uncomfortably, moving to rub away the stray tears. She glanced up to the ceiling for a few moments, trying to gather her thoughts. "I'm sorry that happened to you. And she was wrong."

Howie wiped away his own tears. It still hurt to talk about Christina, even if he didn't feel for her. "Thank you... but it was my own fault--"

"No, it was my fault," Oriana countered softly, ever so gently leaning over closer to him. "If I would have given you the time of day, you wouldn't have gotten into this mess. But... It was wrong of you to assume that you couldn't do any better. Hell, you could have done miles better than me..." She hesitated for a moment before reaching out to gently run her fingers against the faded scar above his right eye. "But, it was her loss... Because you aren't some ugly troll. You're the most handsome guy I've ever seen and you deserve the world..."

"You really think so?" Howie whispered, taking the hand that was touching his scar into his own. "All I've ever wanted is you, Oriana."

"I know so..." Oriana swallowed, feeling Howie trace his fingers delicately against the lines of her palm. But, she couldn't help but feel the small cloud hovering over their heads. She noticed Howie's awkward sitting position, obviously in a great deal of physical pain. It only seemed to remind Oriana over their greatest obstacle - Brian. Could they even work a relationship with Howie fearing Brian's every move? "Howie, I'm... I'm sorry for what I said, okay? I didn't mean to be such a hateful bitch. And I didn't mean what I said. I just... I feel like I need to distance myself from others for protection... Just, a lot has happened with me and that's how I handle it... But it was wrong and I hope you can at least forgive me. Because, under normal circumstances, I would have never brought such a painful subject up..."

"I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't forgive you," Howie replied, squeezing her hand gently. "It's a natural defense mechanism with a lot of people. It's okay. I'm not letting Brian get in the way of us, alright? We'll figure something out, because I'm not letting you go."

"There isn't even an us to get in the way of..."

"But there can be."

"As much as I want that and have dreamed for that, I think it's a wistful notion," she sighed softly, pulling her hand away. She immediately reached up to rub her eyes, willing the tears not to fall. "Numbnut is your friend, from what I understand, one of your best friends. You've known him a helluva lot longer than you've known me... Friends before romance, that's something Teagan taught me early on... So, I just don't see how you can honestly think a relationship would work with us. You'll always be afraid of him seeing us or doing something. And that's not a relationship. That's torture." Oriana swallowed hard before reaching for the gifts Howie had given her. "So, let's just say we're sorry and be friends... Because..."

"No, don't do this to me. Don't. This is exactly what I was afraid of before Christina. Please..." Howie begged.

"Of us just being friends?" she countered in confusion, forcing his hands to grip the materials.

"No, of you rejecting even thinking of something more than friends with me," he let go of the presents.

"Howie, it's not---" Oriana's words were silenced as Howie leaned over to physically communicate his feelings. He pressed his lips against her own, drawing his hands into her still damp curls. The intense passion of before flowed through Oriana's throbbing heart as her lips parted to accept the sweet caresses of their tongues mixing between nibbles of excitement. But it mixed with such a deep longing and needing. Howie was begging her and pleading with her heart. He needed her as much as she needed him. Oriana wrenched away with shock, feeling her almost burst from her chest. "Howie, please! What the Hell are you doing?"

"Making you see what we have is special! When we kiss, I feel things I never have before. And I know it's the same for you," Howie replied, cupping her cheek gently. "Don't ignore them."

"Look... Howie, It's not that I want to reject the idea of us being a couple or ignoring the fact that it feels absolutely heavenly when you kiss me..." Oriana trailed, struggling to orient herself back to her original thoughts. She groaned softly, boosting herself off the couch to give herself distance from Howie's surprise attacks. She immediately started to pace like she normally did when brainstorming for a paper to write within her Enriched classes. "Just, I'm not rejecting you, okay? It's just our only option."

"It doesn't have to be your only option! I've got an idea!" Nick spoke up before Howie could say something.

"Excuse me?" Oriana deadpanned.

"Nick? Has an idea?" Howie and Alex looked at each other in shock.

"Do you want the help or not?" Nick growled.

"Spill it already!"

"We're doing Grease this year for the school musical... Howie could score the role of Danny and Oriana could score the role of Sandy. That way you guys could always be at rehearsals together and working on the musical and Brian couldn't say a damn thing. It'd be perfect---"

"No," Oriana quickly blurted without a second's notice. She shook her head vehemently at the entire idea.

"What? Why not?"

"I don't do leads in musicals. No way, that's not my field."

"Bullshit, Oriana. You've got a great voice. I heard you singing when you were doing backgrounds and stuff. You're absolutely fantastic. The whole school would freaking drop dead. You'd make the perfect Sandy---"

"Horseshit on top of your bullshit, okay? I don't sing. And that's Teagan's role. Teagan always takes the leads. She has a beautiful voice. A gorgeous voice. And I'm not taking that away from her, okay? So, it's a hopeless cause, okay?" Oriana grunted, falling back onto her bed with disbelief.

"Well, fine... I do have another idea," Nick replied, not giving up.

"Two in a row? Damn, Nick, that has to be a record!"

"Shut up, Alex!"

"This is ridiculous," Oriana groaned softly, staring at her ceiling with an intense concentration. Why did her life have to be so bitter? If God would let men triple her age sneak into her room in the depths of night to please themselves, why could He also give her the chance at love? Couldn't He see what Howie meant to her?

"Dude! Act like y'all hate each other when Brian's around. You were doing good earlier, it shouldn't be that hard. Once he sees that, he'll leave you alone."

"You mean lie? Lie about what we feel about each other? Walk around like we're on some stage? Tell everyone in school that we're not together? Go out on dates with other people when we're secretly in love with one another. I don't want to live my life like that. I got more secrets in my life than I know what to deal with, I mean, that's just ridiculous," Oriana scorned, finally propping herself up with her elbows. She glanced to Howie, waiting for his say.

"But Nick's right. Look at it non-objectively. Brian sees we hate each other; he leaves us alone--"

"You'd lie? You'd go out with other girls? Are you serious?"

"No, no, no. Cut out the dating other people. We don't have to do that."

"I don't like it. I don't want to do that"

"Don't you want me?" Howie whispered.

"Howie, of course I do," Oriana retorted softly. "I just don't want to have to lie for our relationship. And what happens if he finds out? Do you just stop dating me? Do we call it quits because you don't want to put yourself in danger or your friendship with Brian in danger? What?"

"I'm going to be frank. And no offense to Alex or Nick, but I could give a fuck if Brian and I stay friends. He's so different now that I don't even know him. All I know is that a friend does not injure another friend the way he did to me tonight. If he finds out, he finds out. That is in no way going to stop be from being with you."

"But---"

"Wait, can you at least lie for one day? One tiny day?" Alex immediately intervened, jumping on Oriana's bed. She yelped in surprise as Alex immediately pulled her up from her depressive state. "Just lie for one day. Pretend that you're completely and oh-so-totally disgusted with Howie. Okay? Play aloof with Teagan. Make her think something is wrong tomorrow. We'll create the illusion that nothing happened, which will..."

"Piss Teagan off to no extent?" Oriana drawled.

"And if I would so happen to drop a hint that your unsuccessful attempt at a relationship might be because you're afraid of damaging Howie's friendship with my brother..."

"Then Teagan would immediately go to Brian force him to make-nice with Howie to push the relationship along..." Oriana finished softly.

"I knew my idea would work!" Nick boasted, his ego already getting bigger. "Never lose faith in Nick Carter's ideas!"

"Will you do it, Ry? Just one day of pretending. One day of acting like a complete snob about Howie. That's all. You know that you and Howie would be back together in Teagan's eyes by Sunday afternoon. C'mon, Sweetheart. Trust me as your soon-to-be-brother. This will work," Alex continued to enthuse.

"But what about tonight?" Oriana drawled after a few moments. "He couldn't stay..."

"You are right about that. He couldn't stay here tonight," Alex frowned, knowing it would disappoint the couple. "He'd have to stay in my room, but he wouldn't have to come over until way later."

"Yeah..." Oriana trailed, glancing down at her hands.

"Once we get Teagan involved, Howie can stay every night, Ry. We just have to get through this until then."

"Why can't I just kick his ass out early in the morning?" Oriana whimpered with her tempting pout.

"Could you get him out early enough? I know you like to sleep in."

"I didn't say I was waking up... I said he was waking up..." Oriana answered, offering Howie a soft smile. She didn't even know if Howie really wanted to spend the night. It was up to him in every way, shape, and form.

"You mean I won't get a nice 'Good morning now get your ass in Alex's room' greeting? That's no fun," Howie replied with his own pout.

"I could mumble it in a haze..." Oriana offered.

"Are you spending the night in her room or not?" Alex asked impatiently.

"Do you really not know the answer to that question?" Nick snorted, pecking a light kiss to Oriana's cheek before sauntering out of the room.

“Like you knew right away!" Alex called back with a frown. He kissed Oriana's forehead and stood up. "Just go along with the plan and everything will go smoothly."

"Act like a frigid bitch? Sure!" Oriana quipped.

"D, do you think you can act like an asshole?"

"What do you think?"

"Only making sure. Good luck, you two."

"Thanks, Alex," Oriana called, watching him slowly disappear out the doorway. She sighed softly with a smile, placing her hands in her lap as she adjusted her gaze to Howie. She felt a flitter of nervous energy zip through her soul. "I think I might like having him as an older brother."

"He's a great best friend, and I know he'll be a great older brother for you," Howie agreed with a smile.

"And us? What about us?" she finally asked shyly.

"You know how I feel about you. I want us to be a couple. But I want to know what you want--"

"Can you come over here and I'll tell you?" she asked shyly, moving to retrieve the ice packs and towel from her bed. "That way I can keep taking care of your back."

"Yeah, just give me about twenty years to get over there," he joked with a smile, slowly standing up. He went to close the door and lock it before heading to her bed.

“I'm really sorry he did that to you. I think I might have to kick his ass," Oriana confirmed, helping Howie ease down into the center of the bed. She then carefully eased his t-shirt over his back again, applying the ice packs to the angriest of the wounds. She then moved her hands to the sides of his back, gently massaging to calm him. "How's that?"

"Mmm... much better. Don't worry about Brian. Sooner or later it'll bite him in the ass anyway," Howie replied, feeling his muscles around the injury relax.

"It'll probably be from me setting a rabid dog on his ass, though," Oriana decided, easing herself over to rest on the lower portion of his body. She found it easier to access the sides of his lower back from that position, hoping he wouldn't mind. She found herself swallowing hard at the sleek form of his muscular body, waves of satisfaction rolling across her body with each feeling of his warm skin beneath her hands.

"Can't say I would say no to that happening," Howie chuckled, a moan escaping his throat. "You're a great massager."

"That's what the team says," Oriana joked. He tensed slightly with that statement, obviously debating if she just gave the massage as a friendly passing or if it could be something more. She started wondering if he was waiting for her to consent to forming a relationship and answering his question about what she wanted.

"Oriana?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you sing me a song?"

"Say huh?" she murmured in confusion, withdrawing her hands away from Howie's back. She removed herself from his hips to sit on the edge of the bed in a perplexed state.

"Would you sing me a song?" he repeated, locking her eyes with his.

"Why?"

"Because you have a beautiful voice and it would help me to relax even more?"

"You've never heard me sing," she scorned softly, standing up from the bed. She stretched her tired body, padding over to her light-switch.

"Have to. Don't you remember during West Side Story? You were doing the backgrounds and singing the play's songs to yourself. I heard you."

"Then you were spying on me, Mr. Dorough," Oriana chided, flicking off the lights. Immediately, her room was bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight. She held an impish smile on her face, almost as if she loved basking in the pale moon's light. She seemed almost like a vision of a true goddess walking back over to the bed.

"When you hear an Angel's voice floating through the air, one can't help but listen," Howie replied with a smile.

“You are so full of shit," Oriana laughed, brushing off the comment. She seemed more perplexed as she gently eased into the bed, making sure to keep their body contact to a mere minimum. She shifted to nestle her head into her favorite pillow, finding her eyes connecting with Howie's eyes as she pulled her blankets around them. "What?"

"Sing for me? Please?"

"Am I singing for my boyfriend?" she asked after a long pause.

"I would love to be sung to by my girlfriend," he replied, feeling elated at the word 'boyfriend' that had just fallen from her lips.

"Your girlfriend?" she repeated, just making sure she had heard correctly. She couldn't even recall the last time a man used that word with her and actually meant it with a sweet sincerity of adoration. She felt her heart catch against her throat, praying he meant those words. She needed him more than he would ever realize.

"My girlfriend," he verified, reaching out to pull her closer to him. Everything about her made him fall harder every second, especially since she was now his.

"I like the sound of that..." she whispered with an excited shriek of surprise, causing Howie to laugh. She immediately entangled her fingers through his silky curls, pressing a warm kiss to his forehead. "Okay, okay, you need relaxing?"

“It would be nice," he gave a cute pout.

"Okay..." she trailed, clicking her tongue with thought. Her blue-green eyes sparked within the faint light of the room as she shifted to lay on her back, carefully motioning for Howie to rest his head upon her chest. "A little boy that I take care of all the time, Corey, he gets upset a lot. The easiest way to get him to calm down is to hold him and let him listen to my heartbeat as I sang to him... Figure all guys are the same, right?"

"Just about. When I was growing up, my Mama always did that for me when I was upset about something. Now she says I'm too old... but I have missed that," Howie admitted.

"Figure it'd be a little different coming from your girlfriend instead of your mother though, right?" she answered, wrinkling her nose at the idea.

"I love it a lot more coming from my beautiful girlfriend."

"Well, c'mere then," she initiated, holding out her arms. She figured it would be the best way for him to sleep that night anyway. He wouldn't have a chance of rolling onto his inflamed back if he was nestled into her embrace, laying on her chest.

"I'm coming," he replied, smiling as he gently scooted over until he was inside her warm arms. Resting his head on her chest, he felt all the tension leave his body while listening to her soft heartbeat.

Oriana carefully draped her hands downward to reposition the chilly icepacks along his spine, making sure they would stay there throughout the night. Once they were secured, Oriana draped her one arm around his shoulders and used the other hand to gently comb her fingers through his silky locks. "How's that, Howie?" she asked him within the soft night, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"This is what I call Heaven. Just laying here in my Riana's arms... well, it would be nice not to have an aching back, but that's beside the point. This is definitely my favorite place."

"I'm sorry for your back, but I'll take care of it as long as you need me, too, okay?"

"Okay," Howie yawned a little.

"Yeah, you better get to sleep. Your ass is getting booted out of here early in the morning. And, don't worry, the alarm's set for you," Oriana reminded, resting her chin against the top of his head to settle herself into a comfortable position. The idea of holding Howie during his troubles made everything surreal. She had dreamed of this for so long.

"Will I get a good morning kiss before I gimp over to Alex's room?" Howie asked, cuddling deeper into her. After all those years, he was finally in her arms and she was finally his. The one wish he always made was granted.

"Just shake my shoulders and I'll pucker my lips."
"You don't like mornings, do you?" he laughed, closing his eyes.

"I positively hate the mornings. It's cruel and unusual punishment to make someone wake up in the morning," she explained, running her fingers along his shoulder-blades.

"What are you going to do once you're done with college and become a doctor? They have to get up in the mornings."

"No, no, no, we're talking night rounds!"

"Should have known," he gently kissed her throat.

"Don't do that," she giggled as she shied away from Howie's kiss, surprising Howie greatly. The soft giggles almost sounded like a sweet chime from the angels.

"Does that tickle?" he asked with a smirk, already learning a weakness.

"A little..." she replied with a pout, trying to act tough.

"Hmm," he thought for a moment before resuming his kisses.

“Okay! Okay! Okay! A lot! It tickles a lot!" she shrieked with her beautiful giggles, struggling to cover Howie's mouth to prevent the kisses. Each soft kiss sent an electrical shock pulsating throughout her tender body. His kisses already drove her insane.

Howie reached up and took her hands into his to get better access to her neck and throat. "Good!"

"Howie!" Oriana moaned pathetically, arching her back against him in the deepest delight as he hit the most tender areas. The gentle suckles complimenting the kisses caused an series of shivers to her body. "Oh..."

"That's my Riana... you taste so sweet, Baby," Howie whispered in between kisses and nibbles.

"You're driving me nuts," she breathed with delight, entrapping her fingers within his silk curls. She couldn't even imagine telling him to stop the passionate emotions exchanging between them. She had never felt such an explosion of heat perfusing throughout her body. Her heart rate continued to escalate as she offered a series of soft moans and sighs.

"But you love it," he replied quietly, wrapping his arms around her.

"I've never done this before though..." she softly panted, trying to pull away to give herself a chance to breathe.

"You love the feeling you're getting, just like me," he stopped for a moment. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I am..." she drawled, biting down on her bottom lip for a moment. The only sexual encounters she could really refer to happened with her pinned to the bed, fighting every ounce of the way. Horrible nightmares to consume her every waking thought and every sweet dream. She swallowed hard, knowing she couldn't tell Howie. He wouldn't care about her any longer. "I just... I've never done this, Howie. So, I get a little nervous... But I like it a lot... And I like you a lot... I don't want you to stop, I just don't want to get carried away... I mean, I don't know what you've done or..."

"I'm a virgin, too. Don't worry, we'll only go as far as you want. If you say stop, we'll stop. Okay?" he made her look into his eyes.

"I trust you," she promised, still chewing on her bottom lip. "But, how far did you go with...with her?"

"That's the thing... it was all the way, but I regret it so much that I still consider myself a virgin. I tried to make it special and she made it into a random sex act. That's what I meant when I said I was a virgin," he looked away, a little ashamed. He wasn't proud for sleeping with someone like Christina.

"Oh..." Oriana trailed, not really knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry. I'll bet it disappoints you--"

"No, it's your life..."

"I wish my first time would have been with you..."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you."

"Why?”

"Because, I know it's early in our relationship, being a few hours in as an offical couple and all... But I love you... And I wish I could have given you that special gift, you know?"

"I know, but I'm waiting for marriage..." she whispered faintly, feeling so guilty at that moment. Most of her moral dilemma's centered around the reality of her being a virgin for her wedding day or not. Technically, she had committed intercourse, but it was rape. So, how could she classify herself?

"I totally respect that, but you understand what I'm saying, right? I would love to be the man you marry and have that special wedding night."

"You're something else, you know that?" she declared after a few moments, finally offering the smallest of a smile. She suddenly envied Christina for being able to share such an intimate moment with Howie. She would always be known as his first and if the relationship did survive, Oriana would always be known as his second.

"I try," Howie gave an innocent smile. "I know what you're thinking and she's not considered my first. You would be."

"Say huh?"

"She's not my first. And if we make love... you would be my first."

"Oh..."

"Riana?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you disappointed in me?"

"No... Why?"

"Because since I told you about that, you've been really quiet."

"It's not that I'm disappointed, Howie. I mean, it's your life, right? And you had a serious relationship with the girl... It's perfectly natural in this day and age to have an intimate relationship with her. Especially if you were going to be offering her a promise ring which I can only imagine to be as pre-engagement... It's just sexual relations is always a weird subject for me. I can joke about it for days, but the serious conversations tend to scare me... But I'm not disappointed in you. I think I'm disappointed in myself, because you obviously regretted having sex with her... And if I had just... I might have saved you that agony, I guess..."

"Oriana, look at me," Howie demanded lightly, cupping her chin. "I made that choice on my own. I could have easily said I wanted to wait, but I gave into the pressure everyone else was laying on me. Don't blame yourself, please."

"O-Okay," she whispered, blinking back the unshed tears. She reached out to gently run her fingers along the side of his face. She prayed he couldn't see deeper into her eyes. To the true source of her agony.

"I know you're not ready to say this yet... but I love you, Oriana Ryan Riley. I always have and I always will. Nothing could ever change that; no matter what," he pulled her down for a soft and loving kiss.

"I like you a lot?" she responded softly against his lips, knowing it didn't have the full effect of an 'I love you.'

"Just knowing you like me a lot makes my heart skip a beat," he replied honestly.