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Chapter Fourteen: Somewhere I belong



Nikki continued to make spaghetti deciding to give Ashley sometime to calm down, then when the spaghetti was done and everything was ready for Stephanie and John she walked out into the living room to see Greg just walking in with Seth.


“Where have you been?? I know for a fact it doesn’t take two hours to get KFC!”

“I took Seth to the park first. You told me to keep him awake, so I did.”

“Oh…”

“Well the most important thing is he’s back. Lets eat!” Kyle replied, as he takes the bag of KFC away from Greg.

“Where are we going to eat? We aren’t supposed to ‘be here’. Steph and John will be back in five minutes.” Nikki asked.

“Upstairs in my room.” Kyle answered, as he starts up the stairs after grabbing a bunch of paper plates and silverware. “And y’all better hurry-cause I’m going to eat it all if you don’t!” He added. Everyone followed Kyle upstairs and into his room, and he sat the bag of KFC down on the bed. Suddenly, while glancing toward Nikki’s room he remembered Ashley, and went next door to check on her. Once in the room he found Ashley lying in bed staring at the wall. Kyle went around to the side she’s facing and crawled into bed with her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and caught a falling tear with his finger, as he looks into her light brown eyes.

“Come on baby, please tell me what’s wrong with you.” He pleaded. “Its bothering me that I don’t know.” Ashley wrapped her arm around him in return and he rested his forehead against hers.

“I guess the argument my mom and I had really got to me…It really hurts that she didn’t call me after all this time I’ve been gone until now, and then try to tell me that she misses me—she didn’t even sound like she meant it.” Ashley explained, as she was still sniffling from when she was crying.

“I’m tired of spending my entire life trying to reach her. You know all I’ve ever wanted was to know she cared—I just want her to tell me she loves me, because she doesn’t say it enough, and maybe for once in the first time since I was like eight years old she could spend time with me—only me not my sisters too. Like it used to be before they were born. The last time she spent time with me was when Brandi was a baby, and I don’t think Courtney was even born yet—I don’t remember that much, but she took me to see the Santa Claus in theaters, and I remember having so much fun…now all she does is yell and scream at me, and takes my computer away from me. She barely knows me I’m like a complete stranger to her, and she doesn’t take the time to know me. If she would stop screaming at me for just one minute and open her eyes she would understand that I ignore everything she tells me to do, fight with her about everything, hide out in my room and never come out, and run away from home, because I only want her attention but don’t know any other way to get it. Sometimes I felt so fucking invisible. Sometimes I would yell and scream how I feel, and it still didn’t get through to them, so I would start crying because everything I tried to say came out wrong. My sisters would always tell me I’m stupid and ugly, and soon I started to believe it. Do you understand what its like to feel like your family doesn’t love you? Or out of place? Lost, confused, to be told you’re stupid all the time? Invisible, scared, and alone… one can only be treated that way for so long until she’s completely lost it. I’m in a hole so deep and I don’t know how to get out of it.”

“I want to help you find your way out of that hole so bad baby that it hurts. I’m trying to help you, I want to help you, but I don’t know how. Tell me what I need to do baby, because I will do it in a heartbeat. I want to make you happy, because it depresses me when you’re depressed.”

“Just be here for me…always let me know you care…I just want to find a place where I know I’m needed, where I’m wanted. Somewhere I belong…” Kyle looked into her teary brown eyes for a couple of minutes, as he rakes his fingers through her hair.

“I just want to find a place where I can be happy, a place where I’m allowed to be myself at and not feel so misunderstood. A place where I don’t have to scream in order to get someone to listen to me.”

“You’re needed and wanted here…always. I need you, and I want you, and I know for a fact Nikki needs you. You make her just as happy as she makes you, and you can always say what you need to say around here, her and I both are always anxious to listen.” He explained, as he pushes some of her hair from her face.

“And you don’t even have to raise your voice to get it out either. Just be yourself. No one will ever make you feel stupid around here, and if they do you just let me know. I’ll hang them over a burning fire by their toes and threaten to let them burn unless they apologize.” He teased, and Ashley couldn’t help but giggle a little, causing him to smile.

“I love it when you giggle, and I love it even more when you smile.” She smiled into his eyes before wrapping her arms tight around him, and burying her face in his neck. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

“Now will you come eat, please? Even if its just a little bit I just don’t want you to starve to death.”

“Kay,” She answered softly. He got out of bed and helped her up too and he kept a hold of her hand as he leads her into his room where everyone was eating.

“Hi Ashee, feeling better?” Nikki asked hopefully. Ashley nodded her response and she went and sat next to her and she wrapped her arms around her resting her head against her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around her in return.

“I’m sorry about earlier…” Ashley apologized softly. “You were only being my best friend I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“Its okay hon don’t apologize. You’re depressed I understand that. But I’m here for you if you ever need me, and you know that.”

“I know…that’s why I came all the way here from Arizona just to be with you.”

“Ash what all do you want?” Kyle asked as he grabs two paper plates.

“Its okay Ky, I can do it…”

“No just relax. What do you want?”

“Mac N Cheese, a drum stick, and mashed potatoes with gravy and a biscuit.” Kyle put everything she asked for on a plate and handed it to her, then he began to make his own plate.

“Is Steph and John here now?” Ashley asked curiously.

“Yeah, I hear Bryan Adams playing in the stereo down there.” Matt answered. Ashley smiled a little bit.

“I hope Johnny tells her tonight, she’s only been in love with the dude for 8 years now.”

“Jeez, THAT long??” Greg asked, in shock, and Ashley nodded in response.


~*~*~*~*~



“Johnny?” Stephanie asked, as John helped her sit in a chair at the table, as she’s hugging the light blue teddy bear he had won for her at the fair close to her.

“Hmm?”

“Why are you being so sweet?” She asked suspiciously, as he puts her plate of spaghetti down in front of her and grabs his own and sits in the chair across from her. The entire house was dark and lit with candles as they had walked in and he put the CD on. He placed his hand on top of hers as its rested on the table.

“I just wanted to spend the night alone with you, and make it a night you’d never forget, that’s all.” She smiled a little bit, as she looks into his eyes curiously. She knows Nikki and Ashley put him up to this, and she knows he’s up to something. They sat there talking about anything and everything as they ate their dinner.


~*~*~*~*~*~



After Nikki, Kyle, Greg, Matt, Ashley, and Seth had finished eating, Seth lightly tugged on Nikki’s shirt.

“Momma”

“Yeah baby?”

“I tired.” Nikki nodded her response.

“I can tell. Come on baby lets go get you ready for bed.” Nikki scooped Seth into her arms and took him into his room.

“Greg, Matt, want to play poker?” Kyle suggested, as he grabbed his deck of cards and went and sat behind Ashley, so she’s sitting between his legs. She scooted back into his chest, resting the back of her head against his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Greg and Matt agreed, and they all sat in a circle on Kyle’s bed and began to play cards. Nikki got Seth in his pajamas, sang him to sleep, then she went back to Kyle’s room. She saw the guy’s playing cards and thought for a couple of minutes, before going into her room. When she returned she had her nail polish.

“Ash, want to paint your nails?”

“Yeah!” Ashley answered, as she smiles really big.

“Dude, Nik, don’t make my room smell like that!” Kyle whined. Nikki stuck her tongue out at him before sitting on the bed joining the circle, and she sat next to Matt, placing her box of nail polish between her and Ashley. Ashley grabbed one of her black nail polishes and began to paint her nails. Kyle chuckled a bit.

“You and black I swear…” Ashley smiled up at him.

“Black is beautiful.”

“Mm well so are you,” He replied, as he leans down and kisses her lips softly. She smiled a little bit and shook her head in disagreement before continuing to paint her nails, and Kyle went his turn in the game.

“Hey Ash,” Nikki spoke after a few minutes of silence. She’s in the middle of painting her nails pink and black, and Ashley is in the process of painting her toes black.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to go to the mall with me tomorrow? I was thinking, you Stephanie and me could go, and we could have a girls night out.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ashley answered.

“Yeah and in the morning you spend time with me.” Kyle replied, as he wraps his arms around Ashley’s waist and he began to place soft kisses on her neck, as he also pays attention to the game. Ashley who wasn’t doing anything anymore except waiting for her toes to dry rested the back of her head against his shoulder closing her eyes in relaxation. She loves it when Kyle kisses her neck.

“What do you have planned mister? You know I like to sleep in until 11:00.” She reminded him.

“It’s a surprise.” He answered mysteriously, and she smiled a little bit and looked up at him, as he plays his game still. Ashley sat there just thinking for a while, then she grabbed the black nail polish again, and took Kyle’s hand into hers and she began to paint his nails for him. He chuckled a bit.

“Baby I need that hand to play poker.” He pouted.

“Awww but Ky you look good with black nail polish,” Ashley pouted back. She quickly painted his nails for him as the other guys were doing their turn, and she managed to finish just on time for him to do his turn again.


~*~*~*~*~


Stephanie and John had finished eating dinner a half n hour ago, and were now just sitting there lost in deep conversation when suddenly Stephanie’s favorite song ‘Little Moments’ by Brad paisley came on the stereo. Knowing this is her favorite song he took her hand in his and got up. He then helped her up.

“Come dance with me,” He said softly, and he lead her over near the couches, and closer to the stereo, before wrapping her in his arms. He rested his forehead against hers as they began to dance to the song. He stared into her stormy blue eyes for a long time, as he has his hand on her cheek gently caressing it, then suddenly he absent-mindedly leaned down and captured her lips with his in a gentle kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and returned his kiss making it deeper. When he pulled away he again looked into her eyes, and she gazed into his dark brown ones in so much love in her own, before placing her hand to his cheek and again pulling his lips down on hers this time kissing him much more passionately. Once they pulled away Stephanie broke the silence between them.

John…what’s going on?” She asked, as not only were billions of mixed emotions were running through her, as the only man she’s ever loved for the past eight years finally kissed her, but she was extremely confused.

“We need to talk Steph,” He said nervously, as he takes her hand into his and leads her over to the couch and sits down. He sat there thinking for a couple of minutes, and then he finally spoke.

“I’m just going to come right out and say it. I’m in love with you Steph…I have been for eight years, but have been too afraid to tell you in fear that you wouldn’t feel the same way. Nikki and Ashley helped me plan this romantic evening, because I wanted to tell you how I feel. I want to be more then friends…but if you don’t feel the same way I understand.” He explained. Stephanie sat there looking at him as tears stream down her cheek. It felt so good to hear him say that. She’s wanted to hear those words from him for so long it almost doesn’t seem real. Not replying to what he said, Stephanie pulled his lips down on hers kissing him deeply, and he returned it, as he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close to him. Once she pulled away she again looked into his eyes.

“I love you too,” She told him softly, as tears roll down her cheek. “I always have.” Not saying a word he pulled her into his lap and again captured her lips with his. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as she felt his tongue at her lips begging for entrance, she graciously opened up allowing it to venture into her mouth, and she moaned softly as the kiss became deeper.


~*~*~*~*~


“You guys guess what!” Ashley exclaimed, as she ran into Kyle’s room and shut the door.

“What?” Nikki, Matt, and Kyle asked at the same time.

“Johnny told her! They kissed!!” She announced, as she was so happy for her friend.

“Yay! Its about time!” Nikki replied.

“I was lying on my stomach on the stairs peeking through the bars and they never knew I was there.”

“Ohh,” Nikki replied.

“It was so romantic,” Ashley gushed, and Kyle chuckled a bit, as he and the guys were no longer playing cards.

“Come here my little eavesdropper.” He said, as he holds his arms out to her, and she went and crawled onto the bed. He pulled her into his lap making her sit sideways. He placed his hand to her cheek gently caressing it as he rests his forehead against hers, and he made it so their lips were just inches apart.

“Was it as romantic as it was when you and I got together?”

“Never,” Ashley answered softly, as she kisses his lips deeply.

“You were the most romantic guy in the world.” She added, before kissing him again. He smirked at her answer, as he gently rakes his fingers through her hair.

“Good.”

“You’re the best boyfriend in the entire world—Every girl should wish they had you. Id probably have to fight them all away—Id kill anyone who tried to steal you away.”

“No one will steal me away from you. No one could ever take your place. You have nothing to worry about. I’m forever yours.”

“I didn’t share my toys when I was in Pre School—I sure as hell am not going to share now either.” He chuckled a bit, and Ashley rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes, and he sat there talking to everyone else.