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Chapter Four: Insecure


As soon Ashley and Nikki arrived at the mall they got out of the car and went inside.


"Where do you want to go first?" Nikki asked while looking at Ashley.


"Hot Topic!" She immediately answered, as that was the first store she spotted. The two of them took off toward the store. Once inside Ashley began to look around, and so did Nikki deciding she was going to buy clothes for herself too.


"Wow Ash-this would look really awesome on you!" Nikki announced, as she suddenly saw some lime green and black slightly baggy bondage pants and a black racer back tank top with a lime green skull and crossbones on the top right.


"They're in your favorite color too."


"Ohh." Ashley looked for that outfit in her size. Once she found it she began to continue looking for more clothes. They spent a half n hour looking at clothes and then trying them on, than when they finished they bought the clothes that they liked the best, and fit them. Ashley ended up getting the outfit Nikki had suggested, and also a few others. A green plaid O-Ring buckle skirt with a black fishnet top, and some boots and fishnet stockings to wear with them, some really cool altered mind black and pink star legged pants and a couple of tee shirts that would match it, as well as a Tripp blue stitch skull pants, and a lot more cool outfits. Nikki ended up getting a blue plaid star stud mini skirt with a matching royal blue wrist band, and some dickies pink pinstripe pants.


"Nik...you really didn't have to buy me all of these clothes..." Ashley said, as the two of them left Hot Topic.


"I wanted to Ash, it was no problem trust me. You don’t have any money, it was the least I could do."


"But, you bought like a WHOLE new wardrobe for me, and hardly anything for yourself."


"Hon, I have a wardrobe full of really cool clothes. I'm good, trust me." Ashley sighed, as she still felt really bad. Nikki wrapped her arm around her friend’s shoulders as the two of them walked through the mall carrying their bags.


"You've been through a lot hon, I just want you to be happier staying here."


"I am happier. I have you." Ashley insisted, as she rested her head against Nikki's shoulder as they walk. Suddenly they came across a tattoos and piercing store, and Ashley's eyes grew wide. Nikki noticed this and laughed.


"What?"


"I want a tattoo, and my belly button pierced--my mom would never let me do that when I was at home--and I'm 19!"


"Well come on! What are you waiting for?" Nikki replied, and dragged Ashley into the store.


"What kind of tattoo are you getting?" Nikki asked, as the two of them waited to be assisted.


"A gothic fairy on my right shoulder blade, a red rose on the lower part of my back, and a Chinese symbol on my left arm." As soon as it was Ashley's turn to be helped she was taken into a back room where a guy who looked like he was in his 20's did her tattoos and piercing. Nikki sat there by her friend’s side for support, though Ashley showed no sign of pain at all. As soon as she finished Nikki decided to get her belly pierced too. Once the guy finished doing Nikki's piercing they went back out to the front and Nikki paid for everything, than we went looking in more stores.


~*~*~*~


Later on that day Nikki and Ashley walked into Nikki's house with their hands full of bags to find Kyle, Greg, and some other guy sitting with them in the living room on the couch. Nikki groaned.


"Who is that?" Ashley asked softly, as she noticed the unknown guy who has dark blonde hair, and hazel blue eyes. Hes about 5'10, and is a really skinny and lanky looking person.


"Nathan," Nikki answered Ashley quietly so only she could hear her, and scowled at the mention of his name.


"Oh." Ashley replied, the disgusted tone being obvious in her voice. Nathan is one of Kyle's best friends, and Nikki used to have a huge crush on him. When her and Ashley used to only talk to each other over the Internet she used to talk about him all the time, and about how great he was. Finally Ashley and their friend Stephanie talked her into going for it. They all thought he liked her too because they had kissed a couple of times, and he was always flirting with her. One day she kissed him before going to bed, than the next day she caught him kissing another girl. She immediately ran home pissed. Nathan apologized to her, but then decided to say 'I was tired of waiting around for you to make a move'. Ever since that day she’s hated him. Ashley especially hates him, and would do anything to kick his ass for doing what he had done to her best friend.


"Hey Nik, Hey Ash--think you bought enough stuff?" Greg asked, while eyeing the bags in the two girls' hands.


"Hello Ashley--Nice to finally meet you in person." Nathan spoke up. Ashley glared at him.


"You don't expect me to feel the same way, right?" She asked him coldly, and he raised his eyebrow. Kyle and Greg just laughed.


"Ohh you got told." Kyle laughed.


"Dude shut up." Nathan scowled. Ashley shot him a glare, before smiling sweetly at Kyle and then looking at Nikki.


"Nik, do you have any dr pepper?"


"Yeah, go help yourself." Nikki nodded toward the kitchen. Ashley went into the kitchen to get her dr pepper.


"So, where is mom and Kenny? I thought they were supposed to be back by now." Nikki questioned, while looking at Kyle who was smiling from ear to ear.


"They called and said that they were staying two extra nights." Kyle explained.


"Cool--than why don’t we do something tonight?"


"Like what?" Kyle asked, while raising his eyebrow curiously. Suddenly Ashley walked back into the room.


"Yeah like what?" She questioned, as she had over heard the entire thing. Before Nikki could answer her cell phone suddenly rang. She looked down at the caller ID and realized that it was Stephanie.


"Ohh its Stephee."


"OH tell her I said hi!" Ashley replied, as she now has a big smile on her face. Nikki turned on her phone and put it to her ear.


"What’s up Steph?"


"Hey Nik, was bored and seeing that you aren't on the Internet I thought Id call you." Stephanie explained.


"Ah cool--Guess what"


"What?"


"Ash says hi"


"How are you talking to Ashley?"


"She’s here at my house."


"Say WHAT?" everyone heard her ask, and Ashley giggled a little bit.


"Yeah, she’s here at my house. She was having a hard time at home and thought she'd run away and come stay with me."


"You're kidding me right?"


"No I'm serious. She’s right here." Nikki replied, than she placed the phone to Ashley's ear.


"Ash say Hi."


"Hi Stephee."


"Oooh HEY Ashee!" Nikki took her phone back.


"See?"


"Okay, so she is there. No wonder you two aren't on the internet!"


"Nope--we just got back from spending the entire day at the mall--now we're trying to decide what to do. My parents are out of town, and we have nothing to do."


"Go to a club or something."


"We can't--I have Seth, and Greg would want to come so I can't leave him with him."


"Ah-yeah that’s a problem." Nikki thought for a couple of minutes.


"OH I have an idea! Stephee is it possible that you can be on the next flight to Ohio, tonight?"


"TONIGHT?"


"Yeah--So you can come hang out with us at my house--we can hang around the pool and swim and stuff."


"Yeah I guess its possible--I don’t have work tomorrow."


"Cool--I’ll help you pay for the ticket if you want--I know they're extremely expensive."


"Nah its okay I've got it--Is it okay if I bring a friend?"


"Depends on who this friend is."


"John"


"Ohh yeah bring him." Nikki smirked, as she now had a plan and she looked at Ashley with a huge grin on her face.


"Whaaat?" Ashley asked suspiciously. Nikki didn’t answer.


"So anyway, I've gotta go Steph, I will see ya later tonight."


"Okay, see ya." Stephanie replied, and Nikki hung up. She looked at Ashley once more, and just as she expected Ashley began to whine.


"Nikkiiiii tell meeeeee" Nikki laughed.


"Steph is bringing John with her. You're going to help me hook them up."


"Yup Yup, of course." Ashley replied. Nikki suddenly looked at Greg.


"Where is Seth?"


"Upstairs taking a nap."


"How long ago did he fall asleep?"


"Like ten minutes before you two got home."


"Ash, come with me to check on him, than we can continue making plans for tonight." Nikki said to Ashley, as she grabs her arm and pulls her upstairs with her. Once up there Nikki went down the hall to Seth's room and she peeked in to find him lying on his bed un covered.


"Aww" She said quietly, than she went all the way in there and Ashley followed. Nikki went over to him and covered him up, before leaning down and kissing the top of his head. Feeling his mother's touch, Seth suddenly opened his eyes.


"Momma?"


"Shhh, baby go back to sleep." Nikki answered quietly, and she sat next to him on the bed and sat there playing with his hair for a few minutes. After a few minutes he again closed his eyes and was soon asleep. Nikki carefully got up and followed Ashley out of the room and they went into Nikki's room shutting the door behind them. Ashley went and laid on Nikki's bed, and Nikki went and lay next to her.


"Nikki...."


"Huh?"


"Can I ask you a question?"


"You can ask me anything--what’s up?" Nikki replied, while looking at Ashley curiously.


"What does Kyle think of me?" Nikki suddenly smiled, as she was waiting for this to happen. When the two of them only talked over the Internet, Ashley sometimes talked to Kyle, and Nikki could sense some attraction between the two of them. Kyle was always REALLY happy after talking to her, and Ashley was constantly telling NIkki to tell him she says hi, and was always getting really excited at the mention of his name. She also saw the smile Ashley had given him earlier after she had told Nathan off.


"He thinks you're a really cool person."


"Are you sure?"


"Yeah, he even told me so awhile back ago."


"What’s that supposed to mean? That he thinks I'm a really cool person?" Nikki laughed and rolled her eyes.


"That’s Kyle's definition of having a crush on you, hon, and I know you've had one on him for quite some time so why don’t you go for it?"


"I don’t know...I guess its just kind of weird... I've never had a crush on someone who felt the same way--How do you even know he really feels the same way?" Ashley asked, a worried tone in her voice.


"Ashley, I know my brother." Nikki laughed.


"Well...what’s so great about me? Why would he have a crush on me?" Ashley asked, suddenly becoming insecure as she’s always been. Nikki sighed.


"Because maybe you're an AMAZING person? You're the nicest, sweetest, person I know and you've got a REALLY great personality. What’s not to like?"


"I don’t know... I just never had a crush on anyone who liked me back.... its kind of scary. I've been hurt SO many times Nikki, SO many times. Every time I think I finally find someone I can be happy with he ends up moving, or switching schools, or being extremely mean to me and tells me he doesn’t want to ever talk to me anymore and then calls me mellow dramatic, or doesn’t feel the same way about me.... or they just don’t even know I am alive."


"Ash...Kyle isn't like Matt Larson, Dustin, Bryce, or Matt Williams. I know he wouldn't do any of that stuff to you, and I know he has feelings for you. Trust me, he’s not going to break your heart like all those fucked up losers did." Nikki replied, as she knew exactly every single guy Ashley described without even having to be told the names.


"I guess...." Ashley sighed.


"Just give him a chance...who knows, maybe you'll discover the love of your life and will be happy for the rest of your life."


"I'll try...but it scares me Nikki.... it really does, feeling this way about someone...."


"I know it does, but it’s going to be okay I promise. If he does anything mean to you I'll kick his ass--simple as that." Ashley couldn’t help but smile a bit, as she lay down all the way and stared up at the ceiling.


"I'll try..."