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Chapter Ten

“Well, this is it,” Howie said with a smile, “The last show of the tour.” he said it with enthusiasm as well as with a hint of sadness in his voice that the others feelings could easily match. The end of the tour always brought on a slight depression amongst the group, especially when it came time to say their goodbyes a few days after, until they met again with business for recording and new promotions. Once in awhile, they would get together to hang out, but for the most part, they would be their separate ways, living separate lives.

He and the others exchanged high fives, both happy and sad that the tour was going to be over in less than two hours. They would take the stage and perform for the last time with this set of songs and dances. In another year or so, they’d have a whole new show planned out to entertain with.

It had been a very successful one without many complications. There really weren’t many complaints, for it was felt by most that they’d done a great job and done their best. Things had gone as good as could be expected, as good as what had been expected. The tour had been phenomenal, to say the least. At least that’s what was thought.

The past two weeks had flown by quickly. Nothing too eventful had happened. Nick and Kevin had finally made up with one another, Nick forgiving Kevin as well as the rest of them for giving him such a hard time recently.

They had all become worn out and tired, needing the break badly. It was anticipated, to say the least, however the touring life was something each of them loved and after a few weeks off the road, they would grow to miss it. That was how it always worked. As much as they longed for a break to relax, they always were magnetized back to the road and arenas and recording studios and to Fatima to learn new choreographies..

“Went fast, huh?” Brian commented, “Seems like just yesterday, we were starting up brand new and fresh.”

There were several nods in response. In all truth, the more time that passed, the faster each year went for them. It seemed as if they were just finishing their first world tour for their debut album, and now they had just completed the Black and Blue tour. It was funny how things went sometimes.

“What are the plans for our time off?” Howie asked everyone.

“Sleep, sleep, sleep,” Nick sighed dreamily, “Big, comfy bed of my own...” he got a lopsided smile on his face which caused the others to laugh.

“Visit with family,” Brian replied, “Since I haven’t seen them really since the beginning of the tour.” he sighed, missing his mother and father back in Kentucky the most. They normally came out to a few shows, but this time hadn’t been able to.

“How about you, D?” Nick asked, “Got any big plans for break, since the rest of us seem to be going lazy?”

Howie was about to answer, but one man on their stage crew came and interrupted, telling them that it was time to take stage and to wrap things up quickly and be ready in a minute. The five finished up changing into their first outfit of the show while the intro was blaring through the arena, thousands of girls screaming at the top of their lungs. A.J. laughed lightly, shaking his head.

“Some things never change,” he stated, “But I wouldn’t change any of this for the world...not one second of it.”

The others agreed without hesitation. Since day one, girls of all ages had always been screaming for them in excitement. The intensity of it only grew with every day that passed, making them know that what they were doing wasn’t a waste of time. This night was no exception.

Seconds later, all five of them were out on stage, those in the front row reaching out in hopes to get a slight touch of the Boys as they started their first song of THE CALL, full energy, full force.

Something about that night brought out the best of everyone, for all five men gave it their all, making it a show that everyone would remember until they were seen again with new material. They sang with all that was in them and moved to the music with high adrenaline rushing through their blood as perspiration glistened on their perfect bodies.

The show ended in a whiz, sooner than it seemed that it should have. They ran backstage to clean up and meet those with passes, signing autographs and posing for a few photographs. A few of the girls cried hysterically, others too shy to speak. Each was charming in her own way though, making the Boys aware that they were still somehow changing lives around the world for the better.

If only things were going as perfect as they thought. If only they knew the destined road that one certain member was planning on taking, as they were all still completely in the dark. Blindfolded from the path that was about to be chosen for all of them by one simple act of destruction.


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With a long, ragged sigh, he pushed through the door to the last hotel room he’d ever be staying in...the one that he would die in. The others were out at a club, celebrating another successful tour that had ended well. He had joined them for awhile, but had faked a bad headache, cutting the night short with them. He had other things to do...things to take care of before the others returned. When he was found, he planned for it to be too late to reverse anything. He didn’t want it to be reversed.

He’d reached a breaking point. The final show had ended with a bang and a celebration for a job well done. It was now time for him to fade out, disappear from life all together. His time on earth was done. He’d performed and brightened the lives of many for twelve years. He’d accomplished what many would only dream of but never be able to carry though. He had succeeded at it and had become more popular than even he had ever dreamed of. The simple thing of being happy and living with normal every day depression was something many could get through but he couldn’t, therefore, he was going to make this his last night. In a matter of hours, he would be just a memory to everybody.

Getting out a pad of paper and a pen, he started to write out everything he’d been feeling for the past while. He summed it up, apologizing for everything, including taking the easy way out and for the hurt he would cause everyone, telling the Boys to tell his family that he loved them and was sorry. He explained how he felt like a failure and disappointment and everybody would be better off without him there to mess things up all of the time. He truly felt that he was a waste of perfectly good living space and breathing air. Therefore, he was going to solve the problem...and whoever found him would find the note with him explaining everything.

Reading it twice over, he nodded in approval, folding it carefully and labeling it TO THE GUYS on the top, placing it next to him on the night stand. He walked around the small room, taking in one last look at everything, a good look. He remembered one time when all of the guys had been in the same room. That had been a riot...they’d been up all night, talking, playing card games, drinking, having fun. They’d all had to share a bed that night, and he had somehow ended up on the floor. He had genuinely had fun. He walked over to the window, pulling open the shades. It was dark, but street lights illuminated the way. It looked quite beautiful, and he smiled sadly. It wasn’t enough to make him change his mind. Nothing was, for nothing had helped him find peace and happiness. He’d tried. He really had, but nothing made him smile unless it was fake and forced. Happiness with sad eyes that nobody had caught on to in the months he’d been like this. And now, the end had come. He had lived out his life. He wasn’t meant to live in to an old age. Not even middle aged. His time was now, at a young age.

Tearing his eyes away from the elegant setting outside, he walked to his suitcase, pulling an exacto knife he’d bought at an art store days before from the small side compartment. He pulled off the plastic protective cover, poking his finger with it to make sure it was up to standards. A small dot of blood formed from the light tough, telling him that it was.

Going over to the bed, he laid down, getting under the covers. He sighed, feeling their cool material beneath his bare skin. Years, even months ago, the feeling was relaxing and welcoming. Now, it was relaxing and beaconing him to death. A few tears fell from his eyes. He couldn’t believe that it had come to this, and wondered what it would be like to no longer be alive. Was there an afterlife? He wasn’t sure. If there was though, he hoped that he was happier than in his present life. He couldn’t stand being unhappy anymore.

Deciding not to prolong the inevitable any longer, he took the knife alongside the underneath his wrist, dragging it across the major vein in one quick, swift movement. He winced as blood immediately started to pour out. His heart pounded in excitement as he did the same on the other arm in case the first didn’t do the job. He dropped the knife as his whole body started to throb, red pouring from the wounds like it never had before. He started to grow dizzy, and he was amazed with how quickly it was all happening. He was so overcome with emotion that he didn’t even hear the door open and the footsteps coming at him as someone called out his name, checking to see if he was feeling better. He didn’t see him until he was right before his very eyes, dropping his keys and wallet.

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

He snapped out of his daze and looked down as his roommate disappeared quickly, suddenly becoming afraid. He looked back down at his arms, feeling sick to his stomach. It wasn’t how he wanted to die. He didn’t want to die any longer, but he was losing his fight to stay awake. He had already lost so much blood in the few minutes. His roommate reappeared with several bath towels, wrapping them tightly around the cuts with immense pressure to try to stop the bleeding, or at least slow it down. He held the towels in place best he could as he quickly dialed 911 on his cell phone. There was fear in his eyes, but he worked calmly and quickly with shaking hands, his voice panicked as he talked with the operator on the other end. He looked up into his friends eyes with hurt and disappointment. Confusion and question. He was wanting an answer as to why.

“I need help...” was all he could whisper out in a weak, pleading, pathetic voice.