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Chapter Three

“The bastards,” Nick sneered when he learned that their meeting had not been cancelled because of the snow. If fact, they had moved it to that very hotel so that it was still possible that it take place. None of the guys had been overly happy with the information, especially when looking out the window at the twenty-one inches of snow that had fallen and the learning of a level three snow advisory.

“What can we do?” Howie asked with a shrug, “It snows, they move the meeting to us. Figures.” He paused before adding a fake encouragement of, “Besides...it will be over in two hours tops, right? Nothing drastic.”

His eyes roamed around to group to see what their expressions were saying. Nobody looked pleased and they all looked tired and out of rest. Howie figured that if it hadn’t been for Rick staying at that very hotel, then their meeting would have been postponed to a later date. But they had one manager there...and one was enough to get the job done.

The rest of the way down to the ground level floor in the elevator was in silence. Once they reached their destination, the doors opened slowly, taking them to their doom. In a matter of minutes would begin the long, boring, torturous meeting. Slowly, the five filed in to the conference room that they’d been assigned to, being greeted by Rick. Once they were seated, Rick closed the doors to ensure privacy before taking a seat at the head of the table, folding his hands in front of him in a professional manor before unfolding them and slinking back in his chair a little to give a more casual setting. The Boys relaxed a bit upon seeing that Rick was not going to be uptight like some of the other managers were, and he too when he was around them.

“Is everybody comfortable?” Rick asked, looking around the table.

Nick shifted in his seat, knowing that his attention span would be short that morning. He felt the need to move around. The idea of sitting still that morning did not appeal to him much. A.J. yawned, pushing his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose a little so that he could look over them. The others just stared blankly, wanting to get the meeting over with.

“Okay then. Let’s get started,” he moved on without waiting for an answer, “If you need anything, let me know.” he got five bored stares. Brian’s eyes closed unwillingly before shooting open again. Rick sighed, seeing how nothing was going to get done with their attitudes that morning, “Look, I realize that it is early and none of you were expecting to be here this morning, but the fact of the matter is you are. Let’s make the best of it, cooperate and get this over with as soon as we can.”

With one last long sigh from each of the guys, they forced themselves to focus the best they could on Rick. He was right. The more their attention drifted off, the longer things would take.

“Okay, we’re ready,” Kevin droned, his voice monotone.

He tried to suppress a yawn that he could feel coming. It worked, but not for long. A few seconds later, his mouth was open wide with his hand covering it. Rick ignored this the best he could, picking up his stack of papers, making it so the pages were in a neat, even pile.

“Okay, first line of business,” he stated, “Show reviews are dropping slightly. It’s being said that the performance is not as strong as it used to be. Anybody care to comment on this?”

The Boys all looked at one another, not knowing how to comment on it. They really hadn’t noticed that big of a change and didn’t know how to explain what was obvious to their manager but not them. Nobody said anything and it was apparent that he was waiting for an answer.

“Just exhaustion, ya know,” A.J. quickly countered, “The tour is ending and we’re getting restless and ready for a break.”

He grinned, hoping that Rick had bought his excuse. Rick looked skeptical since in all of the previous tours, the Boys had kept up their energy from start to finish. He opened his mouth to say so but shut it, deciding not to accuse them of anything. The Boys seemed to be in a stubborn mood that morning. The argument could go on for hours if he didn’t let it be.

“Just try to get the reviews back up. There’s only five more weeks to go and you’re free for two months...for the most part. Think you can handle it?”

The was replied to with five in sync nods. A.J. tried to bite his tongue to hold back yet another smart ass, sarcastic comment. Another few moments of silence as Rick sorted through his papers, skipping through a few pages.

“Okay, that brings me to my next point. Since the end of the tour is coming up, you realize that after six weeks off, you’ll have a very hectic schedule, correct?” again he got a few nods and a few stares of disbelief, “There’ll be photo shoots, press meetings, TV interviews and then Zomba wanted me to bring up the idea of starting to record for a new album, which will be followed by a series of album launch parties and promotional events...” his voice trailed off when he was interrupted by one of the Boys.

“Okay, okay, we get the clue,” Brian stated dryly, losing his patients rather quickly, “We’re going to be busy. We’ve been through the routine many times before. Nothing is going to change this time around.”

Rick raised an eyebrow. It was unlike Brian to spout off his mouth like that. Especially in such a demeaning tone.

“He’s right,” Nick stated, “We know the schedule by now. No need to give it to us, bro.”

Nick’s use of words caused Kevin to elbow him in the side. Nick let out a startled yelp of pain, rubbing the spot that had been hit. Tension was growing in the room. Nobody said a thing. They just stared.

“Since none of you are in the right mind set to be here, there’s no point in me keeping you any longer,” Rick sighed, “The roads should be cleared by the time of the show tonight, so be expecting to go. You’re dismissed.”

Rick got up from the long table and walked out of the room, leaving the group sitting there startled. Never in the decade that they’d been performing had a manager walked out on them, ending the meeting before its scheduled time. It was nice, yet in the pit of their stomachs, the Boys felt guilty for it all at the same time.

“Well, that was unusual,” Howie laughed, scratching his head in confusion, “Pure luck, since none of us are in to this today, but just strange.”

“Agreed, dude,” Nick stated, “Oh well. Let’s get the hell out of here and see what we can get ourselves in to trouble doing before the show tonight.”

He stood up and started towards the door. Seconds later, the others followed ready to get out of the stuffy room.

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“Why the fuck did they have to invent snow plows and road salt?” A.J. grumbled as he dressed for the first portion of the show.

Kevin rolled his eyes as Nick and Brian laughed. He proved a good point though. The whole day was dragging and none of them were in the mood to do anything. The snow had caused major side effects of laziness to be cast upon them. Plus they were all expecting the show to be cancelled due to the high level of snow. But alas, somehow the powerful snow plows had made it through the knee deep piles of white stuff and the salt trucks had come out to melt whatever was left on the roads.

“Nothing we can do about it now though,” Howie reminded the hostile Latin man, “We were almost home free...I guess this teaches us that anything can happen and we should always be prepared.”

A.J. snorted as he tied his shoes. He hated Howie’s knowing way. They were best friends, yet sometimes the sweet natured boy got on his nerves.

It wasn’t that he hated performing, because that was not it at all. He loved performing. It was his life...as if he were put on this planet to do it. It was just that the lack of sun was getting to him. He missed the feeling of warm fresh air over his darkened skin. Going out into the bitter coldness did not excite him. In fact, it put him in a terrible mood. The meeting from earlier had worsened that mood. It was as if Rick was accusing them of things.

“Let’s try to get in a good mood, huh?” Kevin suggested, “We can’t be going out on stage acting like we’ve got our microphones shoved up our asses.”

Nick snickered at Kevin’s use of words causing him to get a warning look from the elder. Nick quit laughing but rather gave Kevin a large, toothy grin and a thumbs up. Kevin rolled his eyes, turning his head away from the blonde with a grunt of disgust.

“Take your own advice, grandpa.” Nick stated as he stood up from the long couch. He brushed himself off a little, completely ready to take stage. Kevin looked at him again with a glare for referring to him as an old man. Nick
shrugged, “What?” he asked, “I guess I’m the only one in a somewhat good mood, huh?”

“Blow it out your ass,” A.J. muttered, going over to the mini bar and grabbing a handful of honey roasted cashews, popping them in to his mouth.

Nick was about to shoot back a crude comment of his own but shut his mouth again just as quickly for he couldn’t think of a comeback quick enough. He just sighed, trying to silently pep talk himself in to a good mood. Their moods of the day showed through in their performance. Nick’s problem when this happened was that every once in awhile he’d be a few seconds behind the others in the dance routines. It wasn’t anything drastic, but enough to notice.

“Nick’s right though,” Howie stated, “We all need to try. Tonight will be over in a few hours and who knows....maybe we’ll be welcomed by warmth next time around tomorrow night.” he was responded too by sights and forced smiles. Howie turned to A.J. and Nick, wanting to make conversation to lighten the mood, “Are Deena and Cecilia going to be here tonight? I haven’t seen them in awhile?”

“Dumped,” A.J. grumbled, “Last week.” he crossed his arms over his chest, crossing his eyes in an angry scowl.

Howie bit his lip, sorry for bringing up the sore subject. He turned to Nick though anyways to see what his reply would be. The blonde just had a pitiful look of sorrow on his face.

“She’s going to med school...to further her education. Didn’t want any distractions. So...that’s the end of it.” he answered glumly, his eyes focused on the floor, “How about you and Maddy?”

Howie’s eyes widened in surprise. Maddy had never been around much, so he was surprised that Nick had mentioned her, or even remembered her.

“Oh, she’s fine. We’re taking a break right now, but everything will be fine,” Howie stated brightly, “She’s going through a lot right now and needed some time alone.”

Nick nodded, happy that one of their relationships was working. A few months before, Brian and Leigh had divorced due to complications in their relationship that they couldn’t seem to get past. The decision had been mutual. Kevin and Kristen fought a lot, but their relationship seemed to be the only one still in tact.

“You’re on in three,” a voice called, “Finish up.”

Nick looked to the door just in time to see it closing.

“Looks like it’s show time,” Brian drawled, “Let’s make the best of this, take some Nyquil to sleep tonight and hope we wake up happier than we are now.”

The five got up and exited the dressing room, lining up behind the stage ready to run out and take action. Screams erupted as the commentator announced them and the Boys ran out on to the stage, putting their mind, heart and soul into the introduction dance before starting to sing, doing what they all did best.

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Sweat poured from his forehead as he continued to dance. Exhaustion was taking over his entire body, however he had to keep up his energy level. He knew that his performance had been going downhill. His prayers had not been answered though when he’d hoped that nobody else could tell. Apparently the world has noticed, as well as reviewers for big time magazines and newspapers. Rick had noticed that he had been slacking too and called attention to it. At least he hadn’t put him in the spotlight though and humiliated him in front of the others. He was assuming that they’d been concentrating so hard on their own routine that they hadn’t noticed. Now that Rick had pointed out that something was not quite right though, they’d be watching harder to see who was causing their downfall. Especially Kevin. Therefore, he had to make sure that he was performing top notch so that nobody suspected anything.

The cuts were becoming more obvious. They traced up and down his wrists like jagged lines. He knew that he needed help, but not to stop. He couldn’t stop. The relief that he felt after doing it was too worth it to seek rehab of some sort. If he stopped, he knew that he would feel numb all over and wouldn’t feel alive. Besides that, he wasn’t sure if he could break the habit even if he wanted to. No, he needed help knowing how to cover the scars, or hide them better during show time. One of these times, his luck would run out and he would be figured out completely.

A slight tingling sensation moved up his arm and he itched to make yet another cut. The urge was strong, but it was not the right place nor time to do so. There were too many people around, which meant he’d be more prone to being caught. No, chances were that on that particular night, he’d have to ignore the longing that was nagging at him and wait until a better day where he’d have more privacy. When that would be, he did not know. All he could hope for was that it would be soon.

He continued to dance, smiling at a girl in the front row who held up a sign proclaiming her teenage love for him. He waved with a forced smile and blew her a kiss, which caused her to shriek, latching her hands on to her friend, shaking her in excitement as they jumped up and down. He shook his head, moving in motion with the other four. Exhaustion was catching up with him more drastically. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to make it the rest of the show, but pushed himself on to do so.

The night before, he’d snuck down to the pool room to find his hidden treasure and put it to use. He tried to cut himself, however it didn’t work out as planned. It left a well defined scrape, but nothing that would leave him the satisfaction he so longed for. Taking the stick, he had closed his eyes and stabbed himself on his forearm, wincing in pain from the puncture it had left, forcefully drawing it down his arm. He wanted to cry out in excruciating pain, but gritted his teeth. The feeling was like no other. When he’d finished, he’d wrapped a cloth around his arm to stop the bleeding. Hours later, back up in his room, he had looked at the fresh mark. It wasn’t a clean cut like the others, but rather a jagged, rough line that he knew would scar worse than the others. He knew he’d have to be more careful in his cutting utensil selections.

Realizing his mind had wandered, he put his attention back on the show. It was just over half way through. He was starting to think that performing wasn’t for him and once the tour was over, he’d mention to the Boy’s about finding a replacement. He'd figure out some excuse to make up for his leaving. Cutting was something he had to do, and in his business, he could only take it so far. With a sigh, he ran off stage with the others for the intermission. He had plenty of time to think it over, but in the end, he already knew the decision he would be making.