That morning bright and early I made sure someone drove me to the hospital. It’s funny you know? Because at the beginning I thought I’d never want to see Nick again. After this whole ordeal how would I ever be able to look him in the eyes the same way? Especially with the memories that were plaguing my mind.
But the odd thing is that now all I wanted to do was be at the hospital with him, not even sure why because whenever I thought he would wake up I felt my stomach go into knots. Maybe knowing that we went through something together and Nick would be the only one to ever understand somehow made me want to be near him.
Kevin sat across from me in silence as I watched Nick’s chest go up and down, “Has he woken up at all?” I asked without taking my eyes off my friend as he slept.
“Nope, he just kind of occasionally grumbles and moans. Once he opened his eyes but that was about it”
“Is that normal? Shouldn’t he be fully awake by now?”
“Considering the condition he was in when he got here Bri, it’s a miracle he’s even alive”
“I know”
“We just need patience” He grabbed Nick’s hand and lightly pet it, “He’s a strong kid he’ll pull through this but you know how stubborn he is”
“Yes” I laughed, people said I was stubborn but it was NOTHING compared to Nick. He had that market cornered. “He realizes that once he wakes up he’ll have to take those boring history tests that Kathy likes so much” Kathy was Nick’s tutor, at one time AJ’s as well. Nick hated school and especially hated Kathy who relentlessly quizzed him non stop about all of the world wars. One time Nick was so hell bent on NOT having a history test that he actually hid under a table. Like she wouldn’t have found him first of all and secondly like she didn’t know he was there. Kevin laughed, “Yup you’re right about that, he’s probably faking it” I started to laugh then stopped myself, guilt settling in. Kevin did the same, “I wonder when we’ll feel like we’re allowed to laugh again?” He asked after a pause.
“Not sure”
He stood up, yawned and stretched, “Well I think I need my morning dose of caffeine, you want anything while I’m down there?”
I shook my head, “Why don’t you go back to the hotel for a little while? I’m here with Nick now. You’ve been here all night go take a nap”
He rubbed his eyes, he looked so tired. This was wearing us all down, I think Kevin even more than myself. “I don’t know Bri…”
“I’m okay alone…besides AJ said he’d be coming in a little while, he was going to do something with his mom first” AJ’s mom had come into town shortly after my parents left. They thought it was best to always have an adult on hand, not saying that Kevin wasn’t an adult but he was a kid just like the rest of us. The Carters left yesterday, Jane said they needed to go back home for a little while but in a few days at least one of them would be back.
I was bothered that while I was in the hospital she never came to visit or see how I was doing. It made me feel like she was blaming me for this whole thing.
Once again I looked over at my cousin who seemed to be weighing pros and cons of leaving me alone in his head. “It’s really okay Kevin, I can handle it besides there’s a guard right there” I said pointing over at the guy seated by the door, “And I think I would like some alone time with Nick anyway”
“Okay…I’ll go and get some sleep but promise to call me if anything happens, like if he decides to wake up and stay awake, okay?”
“Scouts honor”
“You were never a scout”
“I know” He laughed at me and walked over and once again kissed the top of my head, lovingly patting my back as he moved to Nick.
“Be good lil man and get your rest. I’ll be back soon, I promise” He bent down and kissed Nick on the forehead which caused my Frack to stir slightly.
“Later” He said before hesitantly walking out of the door.
My Frack, I know that sounds so possessive of me but it’s true. My brother Harold said to me once, after one of the first times he had come out to meet all of the guys, that I treated Nick like he was my puppy.
“What do you mean?” I had asked him thinking he was nuts or something.
“I mean exactly what I said Brian….the way you talk about Nick it sounds like he followed you home from school. I’m expecting you to say to mom at any minute can we keep him? I promise I’ll take him for a walk and feed him!”
“You’re such a bonehead” I said throwing a pillow across to him hoping it would hit him in the face. Of course he only batted it away.
“I just think it’s nice you found a great friend, you know I have to tease you about it though”
He was right; I had found a great friend, in a kid five years younger than me. If you had asked me if I thought we’d be as tight as we are now way back when I first met him, I would have said “Hell no!” He even annoyed me somewhat way back then. The more we hung out together though, the more I started to realize how similar we were. We loved the same things, basketball, video games, having fun and not being serious.
Probably the thing that got to me most was the simple fact that I felt he looked up to me. I had never gotten that before. I was the kid in school who was always smaller than everyone else even though I was a year older from having been left back a grade. I was also known as the kid who had a big brother they knew would come to my rescue if the need arose.
I had never been the one to look out for somebody; that was always everyone else’s job. When I met this kid though, that all changed. I found myself wanting to protect him, give him advice, and let him know he could count on me for anything.
I think it’s not even an exaggeration to say that we were inseparable. Probably still are, hopefully. I found myself looking over at his face now and smiling. Remembering the numerous times I had seen that face light up in excitement the first time he made a shot from half court or when he finally beat me in a game of one on one. I have to admit I let him win that game. He was having a bad day, nothing was going right for him and he had just had the worst fight with his mother over the phone.
In tears he was telling me how much of a loser he felt like and all I could think to do to help him out was let him win. So I did by about ten points. He gloated the rest of the day telling everyone, even strangers who could care less that he had managed to beat the great B Rok in a game of one on one. I had to bite my tongue a few times from coming clean about what I did because I did not like to be beaten. It was worth it though, to see the smile on his face as he told his story and to know that maybe for the rest of that day at least, he felt like he did something extra special.
He was my Frack after all, and I loved him very much.
He let out a small moan which caused me to move closer to him, any closer I would have been sitting on top of him but still it didn’t feel close enough. I placed my hand on his arm, “Nick?” I whispered as he continued to groan, “Nick do you need me to get a doctor?”
He swallowed hard then opened his eyes, “Briiian?” He managed to get out, breathy and weak just like before. “I’m right hear fracky, what do you need?” I stood up so he could see me better, “Brian?”
“Yup” He turned his head to look at me and gulped once again. It seemed to be hard for him to talk. “You…promised” He said taking a deep breath and closing his eyes briefly before opening them again.
“Promised what baby?” Suddenly I wanted to flee from the room as if my worst nightmare was about to happen, he would tell me I promised to not let anything happen to him and I broke that promise.
Just having those thoughts go through my mind made me take a step or two back from the bed. He seemed upset about that and shook his head, “No…don’t go” He begged grabbing for my hand.
“I’m not going anywhere Nick I’m right here” I forced myself to move closer to him. “Brian” He said once again, “You sound like a broken record Nick” I smiled as I felt a tear run down my face.
He smiled just a little bit, “Funny”
“Thanks I try”
“You promised”
“What did I promise Nick?” His eyelids were getting heavy; I could tell by the way he struggled to keep them open.
“You’re here”
“Of course I’m here”
“Thanks” He said before once again drifting off to sleep. “Nick what did I promise? And how can you thank me?”
I so desperately wanted an answer to those questions but I knew it wouldn’t come. He had used up so much energy just staying awake for the short time he did that my answers would have to wait.
“I’m sorry Nick” I squeezed his hand tightly, “I’m so sorry”
I placed my head on his chest and cried, feeling the raised flesh from one of the many stab wounds on my cheek as I pressed my face down on him. “I’m so sorry” I kept saying, I felt his arm go up on my head as I cried, maybe he was awake but too tired to keep his eyes open.
“Rok?” I felt a hand on my back, gently rub so I slowly stood up to be met with AJ. I grabbed him in a hug and cried. I know he wasn’t expecting that, I threw him way off guard I could tell by the way he had his arms at his side, unsure of where to put them until they finally found their way around my back.
“Did something happen?” He asked after a little while.
I pulled away from him and looked back over at my Frack who was now once again peacefully asleep. “No…sorry I just got a bit emotional”
“Did he wake up for you?”
I nodded, “Did he say anything?” I nodded again, “He told me I promised”
“What did you promise?”
“I wish I knew”
“He actually said more than your name?”
“Yeah”
“That’s progress! Way to go kiddo!” AJ said walking over and patting Nick softly on the head. “He also said thanks”
AJ turned to me and smiled, “Thanks?”
I nodded suddenly needing to go hide for a little while, “I’m going to the cafeteria to get something to drink, you want anything?” He shook his head now sitting in the chair I had vacated.
“I’ll be right back Frack” I looked at him one more time before I left.
As I made my way to the elevator, I was still trying to get over the fact that this kid who I had clearly tortured had said thanks to me. Maybe he had no memory at all of what happened to him? That would be the absolute best thing that could happen. If he thought it was all some hazy kind of dream.
I passed a woman who was wheeling one of those big laundry tubs full of scrubs and towels and I held the elevator door opened for her while she got herself situated. “Basement” She said in a Spanish accent. I pressed the button for her. I allowed my eyes to glance into the laundry bin to see towels stained with dirt and droplets of blood. I had to look away as I felt the smell overtake me. The metallic smell that suddenly was all around me.
I even tasted it in my mouth.
Blood. It looked as if it were dripping from the walls and coming up from the floors. I felt it on my skin and I had to control the sudden urge I had to scream as I looked down in the bin and finally remembered.
Thanks for reading. I'll be back Friday with another update :)
