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Longing For A Lost Future
By Stephanie

"I'm sorry ma'am, we lost him," the doctor said causing the young woman before him to fall on her knees, completely overcome by her emotions.

"Ang," came the familiar voice of her best friend Diane, "you have to relax, for the baby's sake."

"But he's gone," Angela whispered in complete shock.

~*~

A single tear rolled down Angela's cheek as she remained on her knees, holding flowers in her hand. Her eyes quickly glanced over to her son who was sleeping in his carriage. A small smile appreared on her face but was quickly washed away when she turned back to the stone structure that lay before her. Her mind was racing again. So many things had happened in the past year.

~*~

"Baby!" Angela called as she came rushing into the house, completely overcome by her excitement. A large smile was shinning brightly on her face. "Where are you?" she called again as she run up the stairs.

"What is it?" Angela's long time boyfriend, Nick, asked as he stepped out of the bedroom that they shared.

"I'm pregnant!" She told him. He smiled back at her with a twinkle in his soft blue eyes.
"That's great!" he exclaimed as he picked her up and spun her around the room. She laughed at his reaction.

~*~

"Remember that day baby?" she asked, with the smile slowly disappearing from her face. "You were so happy. We'd talked about having kids for so long and when we finally get one, you leave me."

~*~

"I have to go Ang," Nick told her. Her eyes were filled with tears and fear. He looked at her, his heart breaking.

"Baby, please don't go," she begged, "it's raining really bad out there and I just have this gut feeling."

"I'll be fine," he answered, lightly kissing her cheek, "I'll go straight to the meeting and straight back, I promise."

~*~

"I told you not to go Nick, but you didn't listen to me," she said through her sobs, "if you had just listened to me, things would be so much different."

Slowly, she stood up and walked over to the baby carriage. Gentaly, she lifted her son and placed a soft kiss on the top of his head.

"This is your son babe. Nickolas jr. I couldn't help naming him after you. He looks so much like you already. Do you know how hard it is for me to look at him without thinking of you? It's impossible. Everything about him reminds me of you," she said with her tears flowing freely.

~*~

Angela paced back and forth in the kitchen. It had been hours since Nick left. Surely the meeting was over by now, she told herself, her fingers nervously playing with her hair. Nick should have been home by now. As her nerves picked up, she began chewing on her lower lip. She'd had enough of doing nothing. It was too dangerous for her to go out looking for Nick, so she decided to make some phone calls. The first number that came to her mind was one that she had become very familiar with over the years. It belonged to Brian, Nick's best friend.

"Hello?" came Brian's always friendly, warm and caring voice with the slight southern drawl.

"Brian, it's Angela, is Nick on his way home do you know?" she asked him, trying desperately to hide her fear.

"He never came to the meeting, we assumed that he stayed home with you because of the weather," Brian answered, his voice becoming filled with concern.

~*~

"I nearly died when he told me that," she confessed, "my heart was broken into a million pieces. I didn't know what to do. My whole world was falling apart around me." Tears were once again soaking her face. It seemed like the only thing that she could do, cry.

"When Brian said that, I knew I'd lost you. God, I was so scared. I didn't know what I was going to do. You were all that I had."

~*~

The force of the storm had knocked out the lights. Angela was balled up on the couch scared and crying. For she knew the worst had yet to come. Nick hadn't called her to let her know that he was okay and that was highly unlike him. She knew in her heart that something was wrong. The silence was soon broken by the sound of the telephone ringing. Instantly, her hand went to the phone.

"Nick?" she said eagerly.

"No ma'am," the voice came, "I'm calling from Sunny Side Hospital. Your husband has been in an accident."

~*~

"I called Diane and went straight to the hospital. That's when they told me that they lost you," she finished. She placed the flowers on the grave and wiped her tears. "I'll always love you," she whispered as she took her son to her car and drove away.