“Rebirth”
Chapter 12: The Struggle
“Something I've done that I can't outrun. Maybe you should wait, maybe you should run… But there's something you've said that can't be undone. And you fall away from your past, But It's following you… You fall away, It's following you” - The Fray, “Fall Away”
The ship is in space once more, going in what seems for them, to be an endless journey. A chase that will never end. Rhade and Orlando are in the back room talking calmly with a closed door to keep the privacy. Jynx is talking to the general and Jersey can’t help but be happy and troubled at the same time about that. She is so glad her friend seems to enjoy Howard’s company so much, but it also endangers her fragile illusion she holds as Jeremy. Her gaze skips over them wanting to shake such thoughts from her mind. She spotted Skyla and AJ chatting in the corner. Brian and Nick are talking about techniques, strategies, and just about back home, while Kevin pilots the space plane but with no set location in mind as of then.
“Back home? Nick man, I loved it. I grew up in Kentucky with my cousins living a few houses down. All of our parents were military but they usually let another family member take care of us so we wouldn’t have to move when they had to relocate somewhere.”
Nick listens, raising a brow with a subtle glance at Jersey who was sneakily eavesdropping. “You’re from a military family?”
“Yeah, me and my cousins were raised more like siblings. It was me, Kevin” He motions at the raven haired pilot. “ And our baby cousin, Jersey” After that follows a sigh. “She…she was upset at what she was supposed to be. Her parents didn’t have a choice and neither did she. I left to enlist, and she ran. Kevin didn’t tell me cause he thought he’d find her, but eventually he came here as a pilot. I just wonder if she’s even alive.”
Jersey then stands, walking up to one of the weaponry seats where the gun controls are. She needs to get away from that conversation and leave her past behind. However, the past, she is soon to learn, is something one cannot run from.
AJ watches as Skyla stood to use the restroom. He isn’t sure why this girl fascinates him so much. She’s so different than the past women in his life. So pure, so innocent, sweet and entrancing. He wonders if this is God’s way of giving a peace offering after all the tattooed man has endured. Surely after witnessing the brutal deaths those bastards that have been ravaging the human race inflicted on his own family, in front of his very eyes, before he ran into the night; this is God’s way of offering him finally a source of solace? He feels at peace by her side. Not the urges to inflict more death and destruction on the ones who shattered his life he used to feel. Images haunt his mind, horrific ones of his mother being shredded into taunting bloody confetti as he was fighting a Mystyrian by the door. Seeing the bodies of the rest of his family, he had ran. He can never forgive himself for running. If he only made it sooner, fought harder instead of ran, and tried to save them… Perhaps he wouldn’t feel the nightmares bearing on his troubled soul any longer. He only hopes he can keep the new light in his life safe, and not betray her as he had others before.
Skyla stares at herself in the mirror. Its funny how scary life can be when it suddenly becomes just a giant game of cat and mouse, and they are the mice. She was never meant to be in epic battles, or fight aliens. The petite cute blonde sighs as she rubs her tired emerald eyes. She just wanted to escape earth and start over, since like many, her home was lost. Her family was scattered when the war struck the world, so she has no idea if any of her family is alive or not. Is there any bit of earth to go home to again one day? The planet had been in trouble when they left, but it hadn’t been destroyed yet. How will she ever know if her brother or sister, or her parents, made it? If they aren’t on earth, how could she find them. At least she has AJ, the seemingly tough man who has deemed himself her protector. Something haunted his soulful coffee eyes and she wonders just what it is. She just knows the intoxication she feels around him. She strolls back to him with a sigh, she feels safe with him. On a mission like theirs, she knows that feeling is rare and more priceless than a jewel from the heavens. For this, she is grateful.
Kevin glances back as he guides the ship. The stars race by in streaks of light. Sometimes he wonders why he is even on this journey. It was pure luck he hadn’t been destroyed in the other ship with the rest of his crew. He sighs, he should have stayed home instead of enlisting two months after Brian did. Someone had to watch over the family, over Jersey. He was the oldest, but he felt like he should have been doing more, and ignored his responsibility. He supposes he’s not so different from Jersey, who didn’t want her burden of a responsibility either. She had been closer to Brian then, and had taken him leaving as a personal betrayal. Her leaving had shaken the family, as well as their military up. That girl had been in line to take over after her parents died, which they died a month after she ran off. Would things be different if she had stepped up instead of ran? Would they be winning if she was in charge instead of Howard? He runs a hand through his raven locks with a deep sigh. Maybe instead of lying to Brian, messaging him and pretending to be at home still when really he was in the space military as well; he should have been honest, and told him Jersey ran off. The truth didn’t come out till they ended up assigned on the same ship. Brian is all that’s left of the family now, the rest was lost within the battles, like a true military family…and only God knows where Jersey is. Wherever she is, he prays for her safety.
On the other side of the ship sits Rhade, who glances about with her dark shadowed eyes. She wonders what the elders would think once they use their powers to discover her location. Not that she cares too much. Sure she is a princess of her tribe and is bound to another being. A marriage as the humans called it. But why can she not choose her own fate? She’s seen these creatures and wants to help their struggle. No species deserves the extinction that is being forced upon mankind. She wishes to help them, even though she can see this journey they go on will be one that will have a high price, it shall have a great reward as well. Then there is Orlando, the cocky adventurer with caramel skin, and the raven curls. He, is intriguing. A mystery wrapped in an enigma. He is not the image he portrays himself as to others, and to fooling himself into being. This being is different than others, and she wishes to know why. What is attracting herself so to this man? It makes her now nonexistent tail want to twitch. She wants to go to her normal form, but for now human form suits the situation best. Her gaze goes to him, they had talked earlier and now he sits there, typing away into some type of log…
I know she is not the same species as I he types into his log quickly, the same personal computer every other earthling is given as a child and keeps through life to communicate, get information, and use as he does, as a journal. Still, she sees through all that I do. She sees something behind it all, but the question for me is…is there actually something there for her to see? His big doe eyes scan over the ship, everyone seemed to be in that thoughtful mode, in the inner mental struggle. I do what I do for the rush, to give my life some sort of meaning. Yet, I feel my life is still just as damn meaningless. So what does that mean for me? My father was a respected archeologist, discovering artifacts from the 1900’s even, giving us a close guess of how they lived. I am his disgrace, something he never speaks of even though many worlds know my name. I am the best of the best, yet it feels like nothing. What could Rhade see in me? I could have her in bed easily, with her lack of knowledge on how we mate. I don’t add her to my list of human conquests however. Why is that? He shakes his head, he was out to prove something. Not to bed another woman. That is why Orlando joined this journey, not for the glory, not for the fame, but to show he is worthy of being Dr. Landon Bloom’s son. His father had been disgusted at his dreams of being an explorer, an adventurer who told the tales of exotic universes and lands. He didn’t wish to follow his father’s footsteps and hadn’t. Still, the fact his father practically ignored his existence, and it was well known he is the disgrace of the Bloom family name, still follows him. He just wants to be worthy while doing what makes him happy. Perhaps by doing this, he finally will be.
Jynx’s eyes could not, would not leave the General. She can’t be doing this. She can’t be betraying Jersey’s secret by staring at the general. The one in the role her best friend should actually be in. She is supposed to be pretending to be “Jeremy’s” girlfriend, and yet…her hazel eyes never leave him.
“Jynx” The russet haired girl hears his voice ask gently.
“Hmm?” She turns towards him, the two in a room separated from the main deck of the ship. In a window you can see the lights of space around them, the soft glow coming into the room and seemingly illuminating the general.
“You seem tense.”
She turns away again, staring into the dark sky around them, her russet curls bouncing gently against her back. “Just thinking…”
“About Jeremy?” His gaze goes to the main deck where the silent man who is too knowledgeable sits, seemingly in his own world. “You two are together right?”
“Yes” She wants to say no.
“What do you know about him?”
“Why?”
“He seems strange. There‘s something he‘s hiding and its something against us.”
Her eyes flash in defense of her friend. “Why are you so worried about him? Because he’s coming up with things you should? Instead of focusing on him, figure out why you’re struggling with a plan for us.” She sighs. “Look…I’m just defensive of him.”
Howard shakes his head, his light mocha skin glimmering in the florescent lights of the space craft. “You’re right too. You’re not even alone in thinking that Jynx, just the one with the guts to say so.”
“So something needs to change.”
“I just have to figure out what first…”
She comes up to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder and looking at him with understanding. It’s not his fault he’s stuck in this position. This was why Jersey ran from it. “General..”
“Call me Howie.”
The young woman smiles a bit. The smile lights up her angelic face, causing Howie to smile back in response despite what words leave her mouth next. “Problem is Howie…we may not have enough time for you to figure it out.”
Two pairs of blue eyes gaze over at the room where Jynx and Howie are currently talking. The redhead and the blonde glance back at each other with a shrug.
“This place has gotten really quiet.” Brian says looking around.
“When you’re traveling, you get too much time to think man. What stopped it before was us trying to make sure our asses aren’t killed. Now for the moment anyway, we lost ‘em. Everyone’s thinking.”
Brian nods, his bright eyes just taking everything in. “What are you thinking about? I told you about what was on my mind…”
“Yeah, though you’re not the space brat type and its weird heh. Me? I’m not that interesting.”
The shorter, leaner man leans back in his chair watching the taller, buffer, blonde companion. “Yeah but we have too much time on our hands. Start talking.”
Nick sighs, where would he start? “I never wanted to be here to begin with.”
“And we all did?”
“No, not the situation,” His ocean eyes glance at Jersey and then downward. “Here period. You joined, I got drafted after finding my family in ruins. I never was close to them to begin with, but it was a blow to me all the fucking same. I was just getting to where we were becoming close to normal again. After years of painful chaos, we started fixing things, just for it all to crash down. It fucking hurt. I wanted to just say screw it, find a random colony and forget all about earth there. But no, I get drafted and Howard found me before I could split. Then I was ready to leave, as you guessed when I first roomed with you. Then our ship gets attacked and I end up feeling shitty and help some others escape with us.”
“So how do you feel about all this now? Still want to ditch this adventure first chance you get?”
A chuckle escapes the scruffy yet angel faced man. “That’s the thing,” His gaze seems to be focusing on the stars, but is really focusing on the hidden woman before him. She was sketching in a notebook, pretending to be aloof, as was her role as Jeremy. “I don’t know when the hell it happened, or how it did…but now I want to be here. I just want to know more why that changed than anything else.”
Her gaze meets Nick’s then and she shifts her eyes away from him and Brian, thinking of what to do now. Orlando is suspicious of her, and the cockiness of that adventurer annoyed her greatly. Nick actually knows her secret, and even though he hasn’t told anyone and has actually been trying to protect that secret, him talking to Brian makes her nervous. She’s managed to stay aloof to her cousins in fear of them seeing its her. They once knew her so well, and it hurts to see them and act like its nothing. Maybe it is time for her to get out of this mission while she can? Let Jynx stay with the General instead of forcing her to help her out. Her best friend deserves not to be lonely. She should just slip away, escape now while she can. She had been happy, well not happy, but at the least content, with her life. Then Jynx came to her space port as she tinkered with some ships at the shop she worked at, and she got pulled back into her old life as a result. Time to move on again.
She stands and heads to Howard, knowing he hates her but doesn’t exactly look at him or Jynx who is there beside him. “We need to make a stop, get supplies and such. I think I know of a port nearby, I just need to know a better idea of our location.”
“Is this one as safe as the human settlement?”
She rolls her eyes, dammit can’t he just trust her already? “I didn’t know it had been ravaged all to hell alright? We made it out fine didn’t we? And hell we even saved someone.” She motions to where D is entertaining his sister Erica with a story of some kind, which set the little girl into giggles.
“Howie, it might be a good idea, to rest, get our thoughts together and then figure out what next. And we are low on supplies.” Jynx says softly, looking into Howie’s eyes kindly.
“I guess that can work, lets go to Kevin and we can plot out our next stop.”
***********
After Kevin lands the ship on a rustic metal crafted space port that seems to be filled with people wanting to keep to themselves, like the passengers of the ship, they get off eagerly. Howard looks at the group, standing tall as he knows he should since he is the leader, as much as he hates the job. “Now we need the break, so we came here for supplies, to hide and relax. However, the watches I gave you should go off at the time you are to head back here so we can depart once more. By then we should know our next move.” He grins just a little. “Now enjoy yourselves for once.”
The group of 12 starts splitting off into smaller groups, the adventurer and the alien, the general and Jynx, the two cousins along with the two newest passengers, the innocent girl and the rough and tumble AJ, and then… Nick notices Jersey trying hard to just slip away unnoticed, and decides to follow her as she seems to know exactly where she’s going. Her path leads to a small ship shop, just for speeders to get around, nothing like their escape plane.
“Trying to run away again aren’t you?” he says somewhat disgusted, coming from behind her.
She turns sharply, her blonde locks trying escape the cap that they’re tucked tightly under. “What business is it of yours Nick? You should know how that is, you tried to do it yourself if I remember right.”
“Like it or not this mission needs you Jersey Shantlle. Hell I never did fucking leave even if I did want to, I don’t now.”
She rolls her eyes at him. “Don’t’ use that name right now and goodie for you not leaving. You get a gold star for good attendance then!”
“Why is it every time you get close to belonging, or taking on that role your militant family gave you, you run?”
Her sapphire eyes spark flames in anger and almost glow with fury. “You may know who I really am but you don’t know everything Nick. In fact you know shit.” She stalks out of the store and over to the bus plane station on the port. Her bad luck of course it was on the other end of the port opposite where she is. No matter, more than one way to sneak away from the group even with Nick annoyingly on her tail.
“Or maybe Jersey,” he grabs her, pulling her into an empty room, one usually rented out at night to passer bys. “I’m right and that’s what’s pissing you off.” He reaches around locating the metal devices that unlatch the corset into a normal bra, and snatches the cap from her head angrily, the golden hair framing her oval shaped face.
“JESUS JUMPED UP TITS! What the fucking hell do you even think your bitch face is doing!?”
“Letting the real you come out for once! Don’t you ever get sick of hiding?”
“Hiding is me…”
Nick shakes his head in frustration, running his hands through his shaggy sun kissed tresses grasping for a way to get through to this woman before him. “No that’s who you’ve made yourself be.”
“You don’t get it Nick, and why do you even care? Why should it matter to you?”
His hand strokes her smooth face, tilting her head up towards them so their eyes meet. “Say I meet this guy, a little odd, but seems to be stubborn about fighting for the right thing. Goes back for others when he could have escaped on his own without them, twice in fact. Doesn’t give a reason for going back for Kevin on that ship instead of just getting to mine and escaping. Lucky him he finds AJ and escapes with him. Then when these aliens have us captive on another planet, he gets away and could have taken a ship and gone. No, he finds the general and Kevin and comes back and rescues us. Doesn’t say why, but he does. Sound familiar?”
She raises a brow at him, glad they’re in a room where no one can see them as she folds her arms under her bosom. “Your point is what?”
“Well me and him get separated from the others, he gets hurt and hot fucking damn he ends up being a chick trying to hide. I know who you are, and ya know what, your life hasn’t ended. If you haven’t noticed you’ve been taking control of the mission which is why Howard is getting annoyed at you. You’re meant to do this. What are you so afraid of?”
Jersey stares at him, just what does Nick see in her that’s worth this trouble? She can’t understand it. She’s been a coward and she knows it, accepted it. Why would Nick want to keep her around? Her heart picks up pace, he had too much of a damn effect on her, more than she’d like to admit.
“Afraid of? Do you really want to know? Lets see, knowing I’ll have to face everyone down, including the two I ran from in the first place, and probably lead us to a death worse than Howie will. Knowing its all in MY hands. I don’t WANT to lead a glory mission. I DON’T want to be some hero leading whatever the hell is left of the troops if we ever even find anyone! I don’t want anyone judging me for the way I left! I want to just leave, forget all about this, and go back to just tinkering with ships like I did before I met Jynx! That’s fucking what I’m afraid of. Having fate in your hands isn’t what I asked for. I didn’t ask for you to try and convince me to change either.” She glares up at him since he is in her pathway to the door out.
He steps closer to her with a smirk, pulling her up to him. “Well Jersey, you got me anyway, I ain’t going anywhere and neither are you, not yet anyway.” He pulls her up and kisses her passionately, his lips meeting hers eagerly. She blinks in shock before falling to ease, her arms wrapping around him. For the first time letting herself free and kissing back this man who opened her cage to begin with. Whether or not she’ll let herself stay free…is her current inner struggle.
********
As Jersey and Nick secretly explore their feelings, Rhade and Orlando stroll into one of the many shops at the space port. Rhade picks up a book, glancing at it curiously. A book talking about the history of humanity. Why those beings are so concerned with the past, she’ll never understand. She turns the book over, gazing at the hologram of the author on the back. She stares at it before shifting her line of vision to Orlando. The two looked alike. She presses a button on the book and reads the biography that takes place of the picture hologram. Has been a renowned archaeologist for years, made big discovers Rhade could care less about, married with two sons: Dr. Chase Bloom, and youngest son Orlando Bloom. It went on about Chase Bloom, leaving the tale of the younger son off the biography.
Her gaze wanders over to Orlando again as he fiddles with some hats. She wonders why he never speaks of his family. Its obvious the author is his father. She sets the book aside, deciding not to mention it. He’s shown her the softer side he hides from the others, but he never reveals a thing about his personal life. Sure Rhade herself is a Rylian and not human, but that doesn’t mean she won’t understand how family can be. She pushes some of her long dark brown loose ringlets away from her face as she approaches him again.
“Why did you decide to join their motley crew Rhade?” He asks, turning towards her as she takes a hat from him and tries it on herself. “Why aren’t you leaving now that you have a chance?”
“Why aren’t you?”
He smirks, snickering a bit. “I asked you first love.”
“I find them to be an interesting group. The odds are greatly against them and still they’re fighting. No race deserves annihilation. So, I wish to help them. You however, Orli…if I can call you Orli…”
“Orli is fine, from you only.” An impish grin appears.
“You did not want to join them at first. Why are you staying now?”
The British explorer tucks away a raven curl behind his ear. He knows why. Still, why reveal a weakness? Orlando trusts Rhade, but he hates revealing soft spots to anyone. “Not sure, but I find something intriguing about it all.”
She smirks back at him, pulling him down so his lips meet her own. After a few moments, she pulls away. The sweet taste of him still lingering, along with the sweet smell of vanilla that is just so very him. “I find something intriguing about it as well.” She replies, before going off to look at clothing, leaving once again, a startled Orlando behind.
*******
Kevin and Brian walk behind the two newcomers as the little girl bounces ahead excitedly. D chases his sister laughing. The two cousins look at each other knowingly as the siblings go on ahead.
“You’re thinking the same thing I am Bri.”
“About….what happened before you enlisted? Yeah I am. You should have told me.”
“I didn’t want you worrying, I was searching for her all I could as I was.”
His azure eyes meets the older one’s jade orbs. “We need to stop dwelling on this.” Kevin sighs softly. “Our parents, her parents…are gone. I think Jersey is too. We’re what’s left, and we need to accept that.”
“Maybe, I think she’s still alive.”
“Doesn’t matter, we need to survive and not focus on looking for someone who is likely been dead for awhile.”
“Yeah I know. Do you even think we’ll make it?” They make a turn, just wandering the halls with no real idea of where to go in the large metal community.
“I do, we need to find anyone willing to help us and we need to find a new place to settle, get other survivors who escaped before the military got destroyed, and create a new beginning for our race. A rebirth, corny as it sounds.”
D and Erica go down the left hall while the two cousins go to the right, opening a door to a more secluded hall of rooms where they rent rooms out to passer bys. “Not corny, true, do you think Howie can handle it?”
“He’s my friend Brian, and I want to say yes, but I honestly don’t know.”
*******
Jersey pulls away and looks at Nick before her, her hair messy and tousled around her face. She takes a few deep breaths as he steps back. The two stare at each other a moment. “What…was that?” Jersey finally asks after regaining her composure. The two hadn’t gone much father than kissing, but…no man had kissed her and made her feel like THAT before. Whoa.
He smirks, “The real Jersey coming out I think…”
She can’t supress a grin so she turns away. “I’m not ready to let myself out yet. I want to…but I can’t…and that’s not an easy thing to say. Especially with you barging into my life the way you did…” Jersey trails off as the door opens calmly and her eyes widen in shock at the two men entering the room. Shit. No. No, No, No, No…
“Hey Nick” Brian says and then he spots the girl he’s with. In male clothing. Clothing he saw one of the passengers of the ship earlier wear. Wearing a watch Howie had passed out. Jersey was Jeremy. All this time… His mind spun. All this time!
Kevin, unlike Brian, does not take the time to think this out. “You’re…you’re!”
The young woman looks down, wishing she’s invisible. “Hi Kevy, hi Brian…”
“You’ve been with us this entire damn time! You run from taking over as General selfishly, hurting your parents immensely. Did you even know they died?! Do you even care!? And you know what it put me and Brian through and you keep lying to us this entire time! And you pull others in on this deception! You should be helping keep us and our mission to few survivors of Earth alive! Instead you just watch from the sides not caring! What the hell happened to you Jersey! I-” He bellows, until Brian finally pulls him back. The redhead still unsure what to say.
Nick glares when he sees Jersey the closest to tears as he guesses she can be since she told him she never cries. Her gaze remains on the floor and she is silent. He turns back to Jersey’s onyx haired cousin. “Hey! You don’t know the full story so before tearing her down just back off! She doesn’t owe you or anyone else anything.”
She looks up. “Nick, I can handle this aight.”
Her eyes meet Brian’s. Her once best friend. The betrayal in them stung her knowing she caused it. “You wouldn’t understand. And Nick is right about one thing, I owe nothing to anyone. I love you both, but I did what I did and you can accept that and that I’m here or not. Your choice…I don’t even care anymore.” With that she pushes past all three men and stalks out.
“Shit.” Nick mutters, knowing he had just talked her out of leaving. He follows after her knowing she needs some support, ignoring the glares coming from Kevin and Brian.
Kevin goes to chase after her but again Brian stops him. “Don’t. You’ll only chase her off again.”
Nick sees her sitting off to the side as close to the edge as one can in a dome of the space port to keep the air in. He sits beside her. “I’m sorry I caused that.”
“Don’t be. It was doomed to happen eventually. At least Jynx is free of the deception now too.” She leans against him a bit. “Kevy and Bri…They never understood me fully before, and they don’t now. At least I can be me again. Its been hard being someone else.” She sighs. “Just stay here with me till we have to go back.”
He slips and arm around her for comfort. “You’re not leaving?”
“Not yet, I might be in a moment of temporary insanity, but I’m sick of hiding. Might as well face it all now. There’s a lot we gotta deal with, one less struggle will help.” She smiles up at him. It feels nice to be Jersey. Jersey, and not be hiding somewhere she can’t be seen. At least she thinks she finally found someone who can be with her throughout the struggle, and that makes all the difference.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey :) This is Rose, I know we've slacked in updates but we're trying amist life....stupid reality lol. Anywho, I hope people still read this...if so review! They help motivate us!
