“Hey Kevin when you were young did you ever watch Scooby Doo?”
“What?”
“Scooby Doo…did you ever watch that?”
“Yeah why?” Kevin turned back around and once again threw his line into the water.
“I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids!” Nick said imitating almost every single bad guy in the cartoon he grew up watching.
“I love how everyone used to run in those cartoons with their arms out in front of them. What was the purpose?”
“I don’t know Kev…have you ever tried to run like that?” Of course Nick then got up and started running around in a circle with his arms in front of him… “I swear I’m going to run like this from now on!” He said out of breath kicking his legs out exaggeratedly as his arms remained zombie like in front of him.
“You are such a goofball,” Kevin laughed as he shook his head.
“I’m tired…jeez I’m getting old.” Nick plopped back onto the grass lying on his back and stared up at the sun.
“Why did you ask me about that anyway?”
“Because I’m bored to tears and was picturing a cartoon in my head. How cool would it be if we were those special guests on Scooby Doo?”
“Do they even make that show anymore Nick?”
“I have no clue.”
“So was that a subtle hint that you’d like me to come out of the water and entertain you or something?”
“I want ice cream. Will you buy me ice cream Kevin?”
“Boy you’re just the king of randomness today aren’t you?”
Kevin turned back towards the shore and got out of the water plopping down next to Nick.
“I’m getting old too,” He said when he heard his bones crack as he bent his knees.
“Getting?”
Kevin swiped at Nick who giggled and rolled out of the way.
“Sorry man but you constantly walk into those jokes it’s not my fault…what time is it?”
“I think it’s about noon.”
“Wow is that it?”
Kevin laughed, “Yes...am I that boring…wait don’t answer that.”
“Just feels like we’ve been out here a lot longer than that.”
“Because we got an early start.”
Nick sat up, “So what do you say? Will you buy me ice cream? Just like the old times?”
Kevin had to smile as he lay on his back, his eyes closed to the sun. Back when they were just starting out, sometimes to get the kid to behave and concentrate for an entire rehearsal he would bribe him with ice cream.
“If you just shut up and do what you’re supposed to do with no whining, complaining or pranks I’ll buy you a sundae okay?”
“Really?”
“Yes really”
“Can I have anything I want on it?”
“Anything.”
“What if I wanted snake guts?”
“Are you ever NOT annoying?”
“Nope! Sooo… What if I wanted ten thousand bazillion scoops?”
“Then I’d let you have that and hopefully you’re brain would explode!”
“Wow that would be cool!” Kevin had rolled his eyes at the blonde and walked away.
But Kevin stuck to his word and after that rehearsal; he and Nick ventured down to the ice cream shop up the street from his apartment and bought Nick a sundae. After awhile it became something the two of them would do as a little break from things. Kevin always acted like it was the biggest inconvenience in the world but truth was he enjoyed doing it. He felt like Nick didn’t get too much of that at home so it made him feel good to do something like that for him. With success came the end of the ice cream trips though.
“I think you have enough money to buy your own ice cream now.”
“But it’ll taste so much better if you buy it for me.”
“Why don’t you buy ME ice cream for once?”
“Okay fine I’ll buy…I don’t mind.” Nick shrugged and sighed.
“Nick where do we find ice cream anyway? Do you think the guppies are selling it?”
“Yes they opened up a shop in my pants!”
“That sounded horrible Nick.”
“Now wouldn’t that make a great sound bite? I need to remember that for when we finally do radio interviews again…Hey I’m Nick Carter and there’s a party in my pants!” He cracked himself up which made Kevin just shake his head.
“Goofball I swear.”
“It’s not nice to swear…you taught me that too.”
“So you really want ice cream?” Kevin said rolling onto his side to face his friend.
Nick nodded in reply, “I’m kind of getting hungry, it wouldn’t hurt to find a place to eat lunch and have some ice cream.”
“Okay we’ll do that then. Kris was going to make us sandwiches I should have let her.”
“Kevin did I ever thank you for the ice cream when I was a kid?”
“Probably not,” Kevin said laughing and sitting up.
Nick turned towards him, now rolled onto his side.
“Thanks,” He said very seriously not a trace of a smile on his face. “I mean it… that meant a lot to me back then.”
“I was happy to do it for you seriously…besides any excuse to have ice cream was good enough for me,” Kevin said winking at Nick trying to make him smile; it worked as he smirked, getting on all fours and standing up.
“Are we coming back?” Nick asked kind of hoping the answer was no… but yet not wanting the day to end.
There was something about hanging out with Kevin that just made Nick feel good. Back when he was a child, it was cool to hang out with someone so much older than him. He loved to let his classmates in Tampa know that he had a friend that was old enough to drink beer.
The kids never believed him but it kept them from beating him up back then. He used to get beaten up a lot as a kid. Nick would often tell them if they bullied him he would sic Kevin on them. If Kevin only knew how many beatings he avoided that way.
“I was planning on it. I mean if you want we can go back…”
“No, I was just asking.”
Kevin smiled, “Okay…well let’s go in search of food shall we?”
The two men headed towards the car, Kevin carefully glancing back at his little brother as he walked slowly looking down at his feet.
Nick suddenly looked up, “What?”
“What what?”
“I felt you staring at me again.”
“Just wanted to make sure you’re feeling okay? I mean you did almost drown before.”
“I’m good Kevin…honestly.”
Kevin nodded, why was it that he was having such a difficult time coming right to the point. He had pretty much rehearsed what he was going to say to Nick using AJ as his guinea pig.
He was going to ask flat out what was going on? If he had suicidal thoughts, if he was doing drugs or felt he needed help. All of these things were supposed to be accomplished on this fishing trip, just the two of them no outside distractions. Not even a cell phone to disturb them.
“Can I drive?” Nick said walking over to the driver’s side and opening the door.
“No!”
“You’re such a control freak Kevin.”
“Yes so I’ve been told.”
He placed his seatbelt on and sighed, “So which way buddy?”
“Why are you asking me?”
“Because this was your idea.”
“Oh no way am I going to get in trouble for getting us lost again…you decide.”
“Well why don’t we continue on this road? Since the last sign of civilization going back that way was that store.”
“Sounds like a plan Sam.”
As Kevin took off down the road and away from the water and his dad’s fishing rod he sighed feeling a sense of loss. He hated when suddenly thoughts of his father would creep into his heart. To lose that rod really hit him hard, and on his father’s birthday of all days. He wondered if it would ever get easier, if he would ever be able to think of his dad without getting sad.
That’s why he wrote the song for him, hoping that in some way it would finally help him say goodbye. At first he never even intended to share it with the other guys. He had no plans on wanting it to be recorded by anyone but himself.
Nick heard it first as they were wrapping up for the day. Kevin was playing it on the piano, the gentle chords at the beginning leading into the haunting melody of the song that at that point had very few words. The, at that time blonde member of the group, walked over and sat down beside Kevin much the same way he used to when he was little.
“What is that?” He had asked waking Kevin out of his trance.
“Oh it’s something I wrote for my dad.”
“Wow it’s really pretty, what’s it called?”
“Never Gone.”
Nick nodded, “Never Gone…I like that.”
“Thanks.”
“Do you have words?”
“Some.” Kevin then sang for Nick what he had and instantly Nick convinced him it should be recorded.
Kevin found himself whispering one of the lines of the song… “I really miss you.”
“Huh?”
“Nothing…so what are you hungry for?”
Nick ignored the question, “How are you holding up Kev? I mean I know this day must be hard for you.”
“I’m okay Nick…you know there’s not much I can do right?”
“Right but it doesn’t make it any easier does it?”
“No, but sometimes we just have to go on you know what I mean?”
Nick nodded; of course he knew what that meant. Sometimes he felt like he was the very definition of the term ‘going on.’ It was hard for him, everything was now a days. It’s funny because Brian had told him once a long time ago that when you hit 24 something happens. You just suddenly get depressed. It’s like, that’s when you realize that you are no longer a child but a full grown adult and all the things you were able to blame your childhood for goes away and you are left to deal with the consequences of your own actions.
He was so right, but for Nick he was afraid now that he was in a depression he’d never get out and that thought terrified him. He saw AJ and how horrible it had been for him but he also saw all the love and support he received from his family and friends and especially the fans. The fans were awesome to him, but that was AJ.
The fans have always been brutal to Nick to the point of him flat out hating them at times. Anything he did was looked over with a fine tooth comb. He knew they wouldn’t understand and that most of them would abandon him just like they did with his solo album. As for family, what did he have going for him in that corner? Neither one of his parents much cared and it’s not like he’d burden his younger siblings with this either, hell they had their own problems.
He felt like the only thing he had to rely on were the guys. The four of them were his foundation. He didn’t know what he’d do without them. He felt so lost and alone when they weren’t by his side.
“What if all they serve is road kill?”
“Road kill?”
“Yeah you know in these here parts they just might have like dead run over gopher stew or something.”
“Well then I hope you’re hungry because that is my favorite… Dumbass!” Kevin grunted causing Nick to laugh.
“You keep calling me names and I won’t pay for your ice cream!”
“Oh you know I’m going to end up paying for it anyway. I mean why break with tradition now right?”
“YAY! Thanks Kevin…so can I get anything I want?”
“Oh Lord he we go…”
“I mean if I want a million trillion gazillion scoops of orange sherbert?”
“Sherbert?”
“Yeah I mean we are trying to be healthy aren’t we?”
“Wow I’m impressed.”
“Yeah so am I that you would actually think I’d order sherbert….PLEASE! I’m getting a hot fudge sundae.”
“The word is sherbet by the way not sherbert. You are adding bert in there.”
“Whatever man…you know what I mean.”
“But wouldn’t you like to at least say it correctly?”
“Anal Kev strikes again…okay Sherpa…happy?”
“That’s one of those little guys that walk llamas.”
“Yeah so? Maybe I want a gallon of them!”
“Nick you are an enigma.”
“Excellent, my sherpa and I will be very happy about that.”
Kevin shook his head and continued to drive down rural route 9 in search of food.
Thanks for reading! :D
